A/N: Chapter two is much longer, and this reflects the chapters to come since chapter one was clearly just an introduction to are main gal. I know there is no "Hansy" just yet, but please hold tight! Like I mentioned in the tags, this is a bit of a slow burn with a couple twists and turns.
Also, please mention in the comments and theories that you have brewing! I love those! Now, this is your chapter summary:
Pansy Parkinson is finally back with her friends and though she wishes to be happy, apparently her brain and body have other ideas. Surely she's just anxiety after a summer without seeing her friends, right? Everything is far more confusing than they appear, and what was supposed to be a breezy year is starting to become far more complicated.
September 1st, 1996 (afternoon)
A deep feeling of dread settled into the pit of Pansy's stomach as she pushed her cart through the magical barrier and was immediately faced with hundreds of students preparing to board the Hogwarts express. There was no particular reason why - her entrance had only earned a handful of glances and none of them had been particularly malicious - but she still found herself taking a series of deep breaths, her eyebrows furrowing together as she attempted to present herself properly in front of her classmates. With a grunt, she pulled her trunk onto the train and elbowed past students lingering by the entrance door to wave to their parents. While she was a about head taller than most of the first years, Pansy had inherited her mother's small stature and as a result moving through thick crowds was a dangerous endeavor for her.
"Get the fuck out of my -"
"Pansy!"
Upon hearing her name, and especially the familiar voice, Pansy's head shot up and her features scrunched together as she tried to see through the crowd. This was always the worst part of the trip - arriving late and having to fight her way through the throngs of students to find her classmates. Thankfully, Blaise Zabini's waving hand led her to the end of the train. With a tired sigh she forced her way through the sliding door and finally fell back against it when it slammed shut.
"For fuck's sake, this gets worse each year," she said, whipping her head back and forth to rid a few stray strands of hair from her face. She was sweaty and her arms ached from pulling her trunk behind her for so long, not to mention her generally depressed feeling after leaving her mother. Iris had a very specific way of bringing down her daughter's mood but their conversation earlier takes the cake.
She pretended not to notice Draco and Blaise glancing at each other as she heaved her bulky school trunk into the overhead compartment. She needed to brace herself for six hours of constant Draco/Blaise banter, and in her current mood that was easier said than done. Her skin felt like iron and her heart clenched every few second unexpectedly, though nothing around her could explain it, only the fact that her mother's voice repeatedly echoed in her mind. What a miserable woman she was - pushing her own fears onto her daughter, attempting to make things with Draco more awkward than they needed to be. As exes, they could not be in a better place than they were at the moment; jovial, teasing, and if they were drunk, a shag or two. However, marriage was - and always will be - the farthest thing from their minds.
"You're both disgustingly quiet," she finally said as she wiped the sweat from her brow and collapsed into the seat next to Draco. She glanced at Blaise who, once again, merely shared a look with Draco. "Oh, fucking hell-"
"Pansy," Draco started, only to be immediately interrupted.
"You don't look very good," Blaise said honestly, his expression devoid of his usual teasing smirk.
"What?" her back instinctively straightened and Pansy looked back and forth between Blaise and Draco, though the latter only looked out the window while Blaise shared a sympathetic look. "This is a new blouse, Zabini, screw you."
"Calm yourself, love," he leaned back in his seat and after a tense beat, a tiny smirk slid onto his features. "You look tired, is all. And like you don't want to be here."
"Well, I don't," she spat back folding her arms over her chest. She sighed and closed her eyes as she leaned back as well, trying to will away the heaviness in her stomach. "Will someone just distract me from the impending doom that is this next school year?"
"I hear Draco has some news," Blaise quickly mentioned, causing Draco to stiffen beside her.
"Fuck off."
"No, I heard something as well," Pansy's gaze slid over to her former boyfriend as her grin widened. "When are you going to invite us to your upcoming nuptials, dear?"
"Fuck off ," he repeated, as he shifted around and glared at her.
"Oh, darling, no need to be sensitive. I know a girl's wedding day is the most important day of her life-"
"For Merlin's sake," he groaned as Blaise and Pansy erupted into laughter. Closing his eyes, Draco leaned against Pansy until he fell back onto the seat and shifted downward to lay his head on her lap. She moved her hands aside to make room for him and began threading her fingers through his head without hesitation. It felt natural between the two of them, the sort of intimacy that could have been either romantic or familial, and Pansy thought nothing of it, especially since she felt his proximity to her soothe her slightly. "There's nothing going on with Greengrass. Our mother's are talking, that's all, and I honestly couldn't care less. I have more important things to worry about."
What had momentarily been a calm, enjoyable atmosphere immediately became tense again. Judging by the look on Blaise's face, they both had the same idea. It came as no shock to anyone that the Dark Lord had spent the summer at the Malfoy Manor, and that meant her mother was likely wrong about Draco prancing throughout continental Europe getting his cock wet.
"Is this about-"
"Anything off the trolley? A-anything off the trolley?"
The three Slytherins looked up at the familiar shrill voice nearing their compartment. Seconds later, the door slid open and the Honeydukes trolley stopped in front of them, the sudden noise causing Draco to shot up from his spot on Pansy's lap, which immediately caused a pang of irritation to rattle her bones.
"Anything off the trolley, dears?"
"No, we don't want anything off your bloody trolley ," Pansy spat, her bad mood revving back out of the blue, along with an equal sense of confusion. "Close the fucking door."
"Harsh, Pansy," Blaise said dryly as he looked down at his cuticles, but the trolley lady slammed the door shut regardless, her face red with either anger or embarrassment.
"Whatever," she exhaled. "Just- just lay back down, Draco. What happened this summer?" Draco, apparently sharing Pansy's bad mood now, though she couldn't tell why, flopped back down on the seat. She stroked his hair again and bit back a smirk.
"Does it fucking matter?" he growled, letting his eyes close as he enjoyed the comforts of Pansy's attention. "We're back on the Hogwarts Express, anyway, there's nothing left to worry about expect surviving this bloody school year."
"Surviving?" Blaise raised an eyebrow, and this time it was Pansy's turn to share a look with him.
"You know what I mean. Quidditch, exams, Harry fucking Potter. All of it, all over again. But who knows - this may just be my last year."
Pansy's hands froze where they were, her fingers midway to the end of lightly scratching Draco's scalp. "What?"
"I don't know," he said in a low voice, not shy, but far more ominous than how he had been speaking before. "Things are changing, you two can tell, you're not idiots. I'm outgrowing Hogwarts, it's just not the place for me anymore. The things I need to know- the things I need to learn, it won't happen in that castle, that's for fucking sure."
"Malfoy, what are you-"
"Enough," his eyes snapped back out and he glared at Blaise for a moment before his expression softened. "Zabini, I'm tired. I need a nap before I can deal with the rest of those morons."
A loud crash from outside their compartment followed a series of giggles highlighted Draco's insult and Pansy said nothing more. If he wanted to expand on his point, he would have, but instead she felt his breathing slow down and steady beneath her and she knew he had fallen asleep - or spending the summer with Lord Voldemort had turned him into a brilliant liar. Either way, their conversation was over.
September 1st, 1996 (evening)
"Where's Nott?" Pansy asked six hours later as the train began slowing to a halt into Hogsmeade Station. Typically their wiry, quiet friend spent the ride with them but Pansy and Draco had left and came back from the Prefects meeting without even seeing him.
"Off pouting somewhere," Blaise said with a shrug. "He and Carrow finally ended things and you know our dear Teddy has always been the wallowing, mourning, and grieving type."
"Oh that's too bad," she responded, though her sardonic tone easily dampened the sincerity of her concern. "Which Carrow was he dating again? Hestia?"
"Nah. Flora," he replied before throwing a rucksack over his shoulders and hauling his trunk through the small compartment door. Though they typically traveled in the same circles, Pansy he could never tell the difference between those two silent, sullen girls but she couldn't have Theodore wallowing after a mere break-up, so she quickly planned a simple revenge against them. Partly because he is theoretically a friend, and partly because Pansy loved taking advantage of any opportunity to reestablish her superiority over the girls in her house.
"Well, he better have at least saved us a carriage," she cleared her throat in discontent, "and I won't have him moping in front of me. It does no good for my complexion and-"
"You two go ahead," Draco spoke suddenly as he stood at the center of the compartment. He didn't bother to look over his shoulder as his friends gave him a pair of strange looks.
"Draco, you're going to miss the-"
"I'll be right out," he snapped, finally turning around the slam the door shut in their faces.
Pansy felt her face flush as Draco's face disappeared behind the window blind. She swallowed dry but before she could open the door again, maybe to wait for him to finish or perhaps even beg him to just go with them, she felt Blaise tug at her elbow.
"We'll miss the carriages if we don't get going," he muttered and Pansy reluctantly followed. She was beginning to feel better about the upcoming school year in the few short hours she spent with Draco, however as she and Blaise disembarked, the tightening in her chest returned and she felt herself blindly reach for her friend's hand just to keep herself moving.
"You alright?" Blaise said over his shoulder as she slid her fingers through his, and his hand tightened around her.
"Just trying not to lose you," she replied lightheartedly as they weaved their way through the crowd. Keeping close to Blaise, Pansy let out a comfortable sigh as the gripping feeling of anxiety slowly melted away.
Before she could truly relax, however, Blaise suddenly jerked her to the right and they began making a beeline towards the end of the line of self-riding carriages. Seconds later, they came back to face with Theodore Nott listlessly guarding a four-seater.
"Zabini," he said with a curt nod. "Hello, Pansy."
"Theo," she greeted him with in a brighter tone than she felt. He reached down and helped her onto the carriage with a delicate hand and Blaise was quick to follow after. He didn't look as pathetic as she had assumed he would be. Pansy took a short moment to study her mild-mannered friends' soft features. He looked, generously speaking, serene. However, he spoke before she could mention anything.
"Where's Draco?"
"Missing me, are you, Nott?"
Speak of the devil and he doth appear, Pansy thought as Draco seemingly appeared out of nowhere and sat himself noisily next to Blaise, who immediately smirked at his best mate's grandstanding.
"Who wouldn't?" was Theo's quiet response.
"I hear I'm not the only fine arse you're missing these days, Teddy boy."
Theo's typically expressionless face immediately darkened into a scowl as he turned towards Blaise, who has taken a sudden and intense interest in the sunset over their shoulders.
"You promised you wouldn't say anything," Pansy couldn't tell if he was disappointed or angry, though judging by Blaise's refusal to meet him in the eye, she had a good idea about how Theo felt. "Flora won't be happy knowing people are discussing our break-up-"
"Who cares what that cunt did? She left you, mate. You're not obligated to do anything for her anymore," Draco waved off his concerns dismissively, and before he could reply, they all lurched suddenly as the carriage began to move towards the castle. Theo looked over his shoulder and quickly did a double take to the invisible creature he annually insisted was pulling the carriage before turning to around again, this time shifting his glare from Blaise to Draco.
"She didn't break-up with me. I left her."
That left the three Slytherins in the carriage silent, sharing equally impassive glances, though a mutual amount of surprise was simmering beneath the surface. It wasn't as if they thought he was lying - after all, breaking off things off with the sullen, lackluster fifth year was an accomplishment - it was merely a shock that he had been the one to do it.
"I, er," he cleared his throat, his cheeks slightly pink, and continued after an extended moment of silence, "no longer shared the same feelings. If it end, it became clear that our expectations our relationship were... at odds. And, well, the differences were irreconcilable."
"Ah," Draco was the first to speak, as always. "All's well that ends well, I suppose. You have my congratulations, at least."
Pansy rolled her eyes and Theo merely responded with a scoff and looked away. With a sigh, and after shooting a glare at Draco for good measure, she placed her hand on Theo's bare forearm and forced him to look at her again.
"Whatever, it wasn't meant to be," she said simply in her typical snippy manner - curtly honest, but with a hint of comfort in her tone. "Time to move up and forward, yeah?"
He looked down at her hand on him then back at her, and she felt her fingertips tingle over his pale skin as if his gaze alone was enough to melt a bit of tension from her shoulders. He didn't smile, and neither did she, but that wasn't the Slytherin way.
Theo only nodded.
"Yeah."
September 1st, 1996 (late evening)
"Did you see his face? Disgusting. His little mudblood girlfriend nearly fainted at the sight of him. And Weasley, I didn't think it was possible for that imbecile to look even stupider than he does on a daily basis. Oh, what a bloody riot it was over at Gryffindor table. Thomas was practically fingering the Weasley girl under the table, Granger nearly wept over her poor little hero, and the whole lot of them were-"
"Why was he bleeding in the first place-"
"Leave it to a Gryffindor to start drama the first day back-"
"No, leave it to Potter- "
"You weren't talking much, Malfoy-"
"- food this year was atrocious-"
"The Weasley girl? A slag, honestly-
""- I can't even believe they were so blatant- "
"Oh, I enjoyed the pudding-"
"Is no one going to mention the fact that our Head of House is now teaching Defense of the Dark Arts?" Blaise interrupted in a bored voice, stopping Daphne Greengrass, and the rest of the rowdy group, in the middle of their tipsy recountings of the evening's events. As part of a yearly tradition, the older Slytherins had taken over the dark yet expensively decorated common room on the first night of the year, and the small group of students were passing around a couple bottles of Blishen's. The lake often gave the room a green tint during the day, but at night the large floor-to-ceiling windows were nearly back, the bottom of the ocean completely darkened by the lack of light given by a new moon.
Draco suddenly looked up and pocketed the small dagger he had been using to clean invisible dirt from beneath his fingernails. Pansy watched him carefully to her left, where he was pressed against her in the loveseat they shared. Across from them, on the other side of the table, Blaise snagged his own love seat, and had himself draped over the ends. Every couple of minutes, he swung his feet back and forth before crossing his ankles again, a complete picture of confidence and absolute comfort, a man with nothing to prove. The sofa to the left and right of them were also full with a number of this classmates, including Nott, who was noticeably more quiet than usual. Notably excluded from there circle was a small group of fifth years at the far end of the common room, where Flora and Hestia were apparently sharing the most harrowing tale of the century.
"He's been begging for that shite position for years," he drawled with a lazy smirk. Draco reached forward and snatched the bottle of firewhisky from the table and griped it loosely by the neck as he took a long swig. "He's been applying for it every year, as if he'll be the lucky bastard to finally settle in for more than nine months."
"Do you think this means we'll be saying goodbye to our dear professor at the end of the school year?" Blaise's smirk widened, though there was no telling if he teasing maliciously or earnestly wanted their Head of House ousted.
"I certainly hope not," Millicent Bulstrode said from with a deep frown as she crossed her arms over her chest, accidentally elbowing Theo in the side. He winced but said nothing, as the girl was easily had several stones heavier than him. "We'll be persecuted by the other professors. McGonagall herself can't bloody stand us."
"Speak for yourself," Daphne said snootily, sounding like the poshy Scotswoman she is. Terence, who had been eyeing her carefully throughout the evening, snickered.
"Don't act as if you're generally liked, sweetheart-"
"Oh, sod off-"
"One thing is for sure," Pansy said with pursed lips, her voice immediately interrupting the chatter. "I won't be taking DADA this year. I barely got an Exceeds Expectations as it is, but Snape's requiring Outstanding to take the N.E.W.T-level course. I bought the bloody book and everything. What a fucking farce."
"You should have tried a bit harder, Parkinson," Draco provoked and Pansy restrained herself from digging her elbow into his side. Instead, she reached over his slouching body and snatched the bottle from his hand so she could take her own gulp. She wasn't sure if it was the alcohol or being in such close proximity to Draco, but she felt better than pressed against him in the loveseat than she did in the Great Hall and earlier in the Hogwarts Express.
Definitely the whisky she thought with a lazy smile as she placed the bottle on the table and slid it across theo Blaise.
"You can take potions now, actually," Theo's quiet voice broke the momentary silence and caused Pansy's eyes to slowly find his. "Slughorn is accepting Exceeds Expectations to enter his course."
"Great," she snorted. "More potions. More clipped nails and frizzy hair and sweaty classrooms - exactly what I wanted in my sixth year."
"Come on. Take potions, Pansy," Blaise drawled as he let his head fall back onto the arm of his loveseat. "Slughorn is teaching so it's bound to be a laugh. I had lunch with him on the train and he's a certified buffoon. We'll have a fucking riot in that class. And Millie be there too, won't you? And Theo-"
"I will be paying attention, at least," he cut in before Blaise could continue. "I also got an Outstanding in Arithmancy as well so I figured I might as well continue down that path and see where it goes. Professor Vector seems to think I've got the makings of an Unspeakable in me."
"That's bloody well impressive, Nott," Draco said with as much sincerity as he could muster, which was saying a lot. Theo's expression remained unchanged even as Millicent threw her arm around his shoulders and gave him a tight squeeze.
"Thank you," he grimaced, then cleared his throat and glanced at his watch. "It's late."
"Don't be a ponce, Theo," Bletchley, who had his arm securely around Fawley's shoulders the entire night, "The bottle's not even finished."
"Well, I for one have an eight-thirty class that I'd rather not have a hangover for," he responded dryly as he tore himself from Millicent's grasp. "There's only so many times you can repeat the seventh year before they stop letting you come back, Bletchley, so I suggest you sleep in your own bed tonight as well. Goodnight, everyone."
Stiff-spined and chin high, Theo turned his back on the circle of his classmates and headed towards the boys' dormitory.
"Brutal of you, Nott," Blaise said before letting out a soft burp. "But still correct. McGonagall is bad enough in the mornings, I don't need an additional headache. See you all tomorrow."
After Blaise followed Theo's retreating back up the stairs, a disgruntled Bletchley brought himself up to his feet and bid the group a quiet farewell. Slowly but surely, the rest of the students filed out as well, along with the fifth years that had been seated across the room, until only Pansy and Draco were left - shoulder to shoulder - passing the bottle of Blishen's back in forth in silence.
"So," she finally spoke first. "Are you going to tell me about this summer?"
Draco said nothing and only opened his mouth to take repeated sips from the bottle, merely allowing the silence to grow between them until Pansy got fed up and sent a sharp glare his way.
"Draco-"
"Don't."
He had said it so quietly, Pansy almost thought she imagined it, but when his head fell back, eyes tightly closed, she knew they had reached a line where she could either shut up or he'll simply shut down.
"I missed you, in case you were wondering."
"Draco," she sighed and clumsily took the bottle from his hand. "I'm not your girlfriend. I don't have to be very nice to you-"
"That's not what I meant," his voice cut her harshly, enough to cause Pansy to recoil in the tight space. "Pansy-"
"I know what you meant," she responded quickly, though she realized she couldn't bring herself to be insulted. The distraught feeling she had on her way to the Hogwarts Express, and intermittently throughout the entire day, seemed to be replaced with something else entirely, something that was pulling her towards him, even though she knew what he wanted. Her thoughts felt clouded, but his motivations were clear.
And I want it too, she thought.
And I'm tipsy, was her second thought.
"I know what you meant," she repeated in a low voice. She awkwardly shifted in the small seat, placed the bottle on the table in front of them, and turned to straddle Draco in one clumsy movement. "Draco-"
"I missed you," he repeated. His eyes were half-lidded as he secured his hands on her waist and moved beneath her until their pelvises were aligned and she could feel his erection growing in his trousers. "I did."
"I did too," she muttered before digging her teeth into her bottom lip and leaning forward to place a soft kiss on his jawline then aimed for his lips but missed just barely. As if being teenagers who had dated on and off for years before giving up for the sake of their sanity didn't make this interaction awkward enough, Pansy felt the whiskey slosh back and forth in the pit of her stomach, making each of her movements even more amateurish than the last. Luckily Draco's impatience took control and he lifted a hand to the nape of her neck, pushing her face forward until their lips slammed together with a force that told her just how much he had missed her.
Within seconds, her hands flew to his shirt and buttons were discarded in every which way, and her blouse was next. Chest to chest, they moved against each other, desperately, drunkenly, trying to find the friction they had both missed all summer long. Draco's hand found its way to her knickers and he shoved them aside with little regard, not bothering to remove her skirt in the heat of his arousal. Pansy gasped then moaned, ignoring the cold feeling of his fingers inside her. He pumped in and out of her as their tongues danced to a familiar song above. Her fingers tangled themselves in his thin blond hair and his free hand began to tug and pull on her small breasts, until her nipples were taut and raw and she could hardly take it any more. Pansy felt her very core erupt with pleasure - a stark difference to the tension she had felt since the morning.
Before long, Draco had Pansy's body rocking back and forth on top of him, her wetness dripping past his knuckles as her body physically begged for a release. Directly beneath her, she could tell he desperately needed the same.
"Please-" she gasped, her fingernails now digging into his bare shoulders. She could hardly speak, her body was on fire and she knew there was only one thing that could help. "Draco, just- just- "
He didn't need to be told twice. As disappointed as she sounded when he withdrew his lithe, skilled fingers, her shaky hands reached down and tugged at his belt frantically until she freed him from his trousers. She slammed her lips against Draco's again, just for a moment as she blindly gripped his member to guide him into her. They both gasped when he finally entered her and she felt him freeze beneath her, their pelvises locked together as she adjusted around him.
"Fu-uck," he exhaled slowly as he drew his lips away from hers and let his head fall back, his fingertips digging into her hips. "I've been thinking about this."
"So you did miss me," she said breathlessly, adding a nervous giggle as she moved against him. It was an irritating little laugh, even she knew that about herself, but Pansy didn't have time to restrain it when it bubbled up from the pit of stomach. She felt such a release of tension and an explosion of pleasure, there was no sane sound that was prepared to come out of her.
Luckily, Draco didn't chide nor tease her, instead his chuckle joined hers and she felt his body shake beneath her.
"Yes," he hissed as his hips stirred and buckled beneath her, "and I missed this."
She would be lying if she said she didn't missed their late night escapades as well, and even more so after such an inexplicably ghastly day. She allowed herself to fully enjoyed the experience, taking no shame in throwing her head back letting herself move against him in earnest. Pansy moaned and secured her hands on his shoulders, her sharp nails digging into his flesh. "Please- please - I'm-"
Draco's confident smirk slid from his features and he grunted as her cries reaches his ears. His hips, which first moved gradually and purposely to draw out their act, now thrusted upward erratically until he couldn't hold himself back anymore.
"Fu- fuck . I'm- Pa -" Draco froze, his entire body seemingly rigid as he came and emptied himself in her. Pansy nearly wished that he had said her entire name but there was no such luck. Still, she slowly rocked against him until he was spent and his hands loosened their tight hold on her waist.
"Dr- Draco," she muttered as she threaded her fingers through his hair and peppered light kisses on his jaw line. It felt right, didn't it? It felt exactly how it was meant to be - their sweaty bodies pressed against each other, her arms around him, and his around her. It was felt so right.
"Pan- Pansy," Draco answered after a beat as she draw his arms back. "It's getting late- "
Almost as if on automatic, Pansy braced herself on his shoulders once more, pushed herself off and struggled to her feet. She adjusted her knickers back to their original place then gave a sorry attempt to smooth her hair down with her damp palms. It was if the entire thing never happened. Draco cleared his throat as he reached down and tugged his trousers back on, his face still red from their sex. He didn't bother to button his shirt again as he stood and placed a hand on her shoulder.
"Great start to a new semester," he smirked in his knowing way. Draco leaned down and left a light kiss on her forehead before turning away and walking towards the boys' dorms. "See you in Potions," he called over his shoulder as he ascended the winding winding staircase.
After she collected herself, Pansy went up the girls' staircase and silently crept thrown her own dormitory until she reaches her bed. It was late, or less she would have bathed before she slipped out of her school uniform and into her sheets. After setting her wand on her nightstand, she pressed her hands together and laid her head on them above her pillow. Before she could fall asleep, she felt her eyes sting beneath her eyelids. The tears fell before she could stop them and even though Pansy knew very well how her casual relationship with Draco worked, she cried herself to sleep, her heart filled with deep confusion.
A/N:
Sneak peek for next chapter:
"This is bollocks," she heard Potter mutter under his breath and she couldn't find it inside herself to disagree. She glanced across the room to Draco and Granger, who both looked as if they were trying to kill with eyesight alone. Pansy smirked, at least she wasn't the only one stuck with an uncooperative partner.