Title: I Devise My Own Demise
Author: Kyra aka Demon-childe619
Disclaimer: I own nothing, so please don't sue! The song used is 'I Devise My Own Demise' by Papa Roach.
Summary: Harry's tired of everyone expecting him and him alone to save the world, or die trying.
Spoilers: Through Book 5, takes place the following summer.
Warnings: Slight slash, nothing hardcore though, mostly just hints of it for now.
A/N: Well, I decided to continue this one. So far everyone who has reviewed wanted to see more and who am I to say no?
I hope you all enjoy this chapter!
HPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHP
Chapter 2: Explaining To Do
Harry groaned softly as his mind slowly made its way back to consciousness. The first thing he became aware of was the pounding in his head, followed shortly by an itching on both of his arms. Just as he went to scratch at his arms he became aware of something else - there was a hard body pressed against his back; and by the feel of it neither he nor his bed partner was wearing a shirt. Harry's eyes snapped open as the realization sank in. 'What the hell did I do last night?' He thought. He shifted slightly, trying to turn so that he could see who he was in bed with but instead froze as the other occupant sighed softly and tightened the arm he had wrapped around Harry's stomach, pulling him closer while nuzzling his face into Harry's neck. As he lay there frozen trying to figure out what to do, Harry once again became aware of the itching on his arms. He looked down quickly to see white bandages wrapped securely around both arms from wrist to elbow. As he looked at his arms, flashes of images and memory from the night before flooded his mind. Going up to the attic, drinking himself into oblivion, deciding that he was tired of everyone expecting him to save the world, making the decision to end his life, cutting his wrists and arms, the world fading from around him, then the sound of a door and someone else's voice followed by the image of Draco Malfoy's face. After that things were much fuzzier, at that point the darkness had crept in, broken only occasionally by a sharp slap or a burst of freezing water.
Glancing past his own arms to the one wrapped securely around his waist, he noticed the pale complexion of the skin and realized that the person behind him must be Malfoy. Quickly glancing around the room, he confirmed that yes, this was Malfoy's room which meant that there was absolutely no doubt in his mind as to just who was snuggled against him.
Looking back down at his arms, Harry couldn't help but be angry at the blonde. 'Why the hell couldn't he have just let me die?' He thought. A moment later Harry felt the boy behind him stir, the arm around his waist tightened again briefly before relaxing. There was a soft, low moan next to his ear that caused a slight shiver to race through his body.
Draco shifted a bit as he started coming awake, the entirety of the front of his body rubbing against Harry's back. Harry tensed as yet another shiver made its way through his body. Draco blinked his eyes open sleepily before realizing just how close he was to Harry and that he had an arm wrapped around the other boy. He pulled back slightly, his hand sliding over Harry's bare abs as he pulled his arm back. He paused, his hand lightly resting on Harry's hip, as he felt the other boy shiver a bit. He looked at Harry and noticed just how tense the Gryffindor was, realizing that he was probably awake. Propping himself up on the arm that was under him, he looked at the raven-haired boy. "Harry?" He questioned slightly, "You awake?"
Harry sighed softly before rolling over onto his back to look at Draco, "Yeah, I'm awake."
Draco pulled his hand back the rest of the way, running it through his hair before laying it on the bed between them. "So do you want to tell me what that was about last night?" He asked.
Harry simply stared at him for a moment before answering, "No," He said flatly as he looked away.
Draco continued watching his long-time rival as he gave his response. "Well, that's just too damn bad, isn't it? Because you're going to tell me," He stated.
Harry turned angry eyes on the blonde, "Excuse me? I don't have to tell you shit, Malfoy! It's none of your fucking business!" He exclaimed. "I'm not telling you anything and you can't make me so just piss off!"
"You're right, it's not my business. Silly me. Why should I think it's any of my business why I ended up healing you when you tried to kill yourself?" Draco replied sarcastically. "And you don't have to tell me anything. I mean, I'm sure that you'd rather talk to Lupin or one of the Weasels, right? I'll just go tell them what you tried to do last night…"
"You wouldn't!" Harry exclaimed.
"Oh, but I would." The Blonde said, "You need to talk to someone about this and I'm gonna make damn sure that you do. Now you can either tell me what the hell's going on with you or I can go down and tell the Weasels and Lupin what you did last night. Either way, you will talk to someone about this." Draco held Harry's gaze, letting him know just how serious he was.
The Gryffindor sighed deeply before sagging dejectedly against the pillows, "Fine. What do you want to know?"
"Why did you try to kill yourself? What exactly was going on in that head of yours?" Draco asked.
Harry stared off into space for a few minutes. He was quiet for so long that Draco thought he would have to ask him again. "I did it because I'm tired. I'm tired of everyone expecting me to do something that I can't possibly do on my own. I'm tired of losing people, of people dying, of people staring and pointing at me. So many people have died because of me; my parents, Cedric, Sirius…I'm famous for something I don't even remember…And now I find out that I either have to kill or be killed. All because of some stupid 'prophecy' that Trelawny spouted off years ago. It doesn't even matter if I believe the damn thing or not because Voldemort and Dumbledore both obviously do. So, the entire Wizarding world expects me to save them and kill Voldemort. All by myself. No one else bothers to get off their fat lazy arses to help. How do they expect me to beat him? Cause I'm so sure I'll last real long by throwing Tickling Jinxs and Bat Bogey Hexs at him while he's tossing Crucios and Killing Curses at me. And Dumbledore! As far as he's concerned I'm just a pawn. Someone to be moved around as he sees fit. He doesn't care about me, just so long as he has his weapon. Everyone either expects me to kill Voldemort or they expect him to kill me. To them, I'm just The-Boy-Who-Lived, Weapon of the Light, destined to either kill or be killed by the Dark Lord. I decided that I didn't want anyone else to die because of me, that I didn't want anyone but me deciding my 'destiny.' So, I took my life out of their hands and into my own." Harry explained, glancing back at Draco as he finished.
"Wow. I get what you mean. That's a lot to deal with, but what about your friends? What about the Weasel, Weaslette and the Mud – um, Bookworm?" The blonde asked.
"What about them? Ron's always been insanely jealous of me. Because I have fame, power, and money. Most of the time I feel like he just hangs around me so that he can have the title of being the best friend of the Boy-Who-Lived. Hermione's got her nose so buried in her books its not even funny. And she puts way too much stock in what authority figures tell her, if Dumbledore told her to betray me – for the greater good, of course – I have very little doubt that she would do it. Authority figures are like gods to her. And Ginny was always more of a best-friend's-little-sister to me. She was there occasionally because she's Ron's sister. And up until this past year she's always kinda creeped me out with that crush she had on me and her always following me around, thank Merlin she finally got over that…But, seriously, I have been sneaking out of bed to the attic to get drunk every night for the past week and no one but you has noticed. Now tell me, does that sound like the way a guy's best friends should act?" Harry replied, then under his breath he added, "Should've listened to the stupid Hat, probably would have done better in Slytherin."
Draco's eyes widened as he heard Harry's muttered comment, "The Hat wanted to put you into Slytherin!?!" He exclaimed. "How the hell did you end up in Gryffindor, then?"
"I begged the damn thing to put me anywhere but Slytherin. It said that I had a thirst to prove myself and that I could be great, that Slytherin would help me on my way to greatness. But by that point I had already been told by quite a few people that Slytherin was the Evil House. Hagrid told me that Voldemort was in Slytherin, Ron told me that only evil Wizards came out of Slytherin, and you were a git. It all pretty much added up to me wanting nothing to do with Slytherin House. It wasn't until later that I learned the truth; Slytherins aren't evil, they're just sly, cunning, and ambitious. Being a Slytherin doesn't automatically make someone Evil. Just like being a Gryffindor doesn't automatically make someone Good. Hell, Peter Pettigrew is a perfect example of that." Harry told the blonde. "So, are you going to tell Remus and the Weasleys about last night?"
Draco studied the other boy for a few minutes before slowly shaking his head. "No, I won't tell them. On the condition that you don't try something like that again. If you need to talk, I'm willing to listen. And I don't want you drinking by yourself anymore. If you wanna keep drinkin' every night, that's fine with me, but I'm gonna be up there with you to make sure you don't do anything stupid. Agreed?"
"Agreed. So does this mean we have a truce, Malfoy?" Harry questioned, holding out a hand toward the Slytherin laying next to him.
Draco nodded, "Truce. And call me Draco." He said and reached out to shake the Gryffindor's hand.
"Call me Harry, then." Harry replied, and then sighed as he sat up all the way. "Well, I'd better get back to my room before Ron wakes up and realizes I'm not there. Hopefully I have a long sleeved shirt that I can wear to cover these things." He said gesturing vaguely to the bandages on his arms.
Draco slid out of the bed and made his way to the closet. "I have a shirt you can use. Just a second."
Harry's eyes watched the blonde as he crossed the room, taking in the pale expanse of skin, black boxers slung low on narrow hips. He watched as muscles rippled gently as the other boy moved, noting the light, fading scars on his back left over from Draco's refusal of the Mark. He shook himself and blinked a couple times as he caught himself staring, shifting his gaze back down to the bed he was still sitting on. 'What the hell am I doing? Staring at Malfoy?!' Harry thought to himself, 'No, not just staring, I was checking him out! Well, that's it, Hell has officially frozen over! Harry Potter was checking out Draco Malfoy…And finding him incredibly attractive! Lucifer, get your ice skates! Merlin, I have issues! Great, not only am I apparently attracted to blokes, but I'm attracted to Draco Bloody Malfoy! This is just-' Harry was pulled out of his thoughts as something soft smacked him in the face. He pulled the fabric away to see a long sleeved black shirt.
"There, that should work. The sleeves are long enough that they'll probably cover all but the tips of your fingers and it's loose enough that no one will be able to tell that you have your arms bandaged, but not so loose as to slide down if you raise your arms. So the bandages should be pretty well covered." Draco told him.
"Thanks, Mal – Draco." Harry said as he pulled the shirt on before getting out of the bed and making his way toward the door. "I'll see you later." And with that he slipped out into the hallway and back to the room he shared with Ron to find some pants for the day.
HPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHP
Well, what do you think? This is my first try at slash, so please be gentle. I asked everyone who reviewed if they thought that this should be slash and everyone who replied said yes, so I really hope that all of you like it and aren't too disappointed.
Let me know what you think about the possibility of Harry being re-Sorted, or if he should just be an honorary Slytherin.
And would you like to see any secondary pairings? How should the Slytherins react to Harry and Draco being friends? Should Blaise (as a guy) and Pansy be friends or foes? If friends, do you want them paired with anyone? What about Neville and Luna? Friends or foes? Narcissa, good or evil? Sirius, dead for good or just lost beyond the Veil?
Sorry about all the questions but, like I said before, I didn't really plan on writing more than one chapter, and Harry was going to die. So I don't really know where this is going right now. And I seriously value your input.
Anywho, I hope ya'll liked this chapter. Please, please, please let me know what you think, the good, the bad, constructive criticism, it's all welcome!
How quickly I update depends on the number of reviews I get, because like I said, I have no clue where this is going right now. Ideas will be much appreciated!
Oh and incase anyone cares, this chapter was 5 pages and 2,086 words.
Until Next Time,
Kyra