Phil sat on the edge of Dan's bed, making sure he didn't die of alcohol poisoning during the night. He didn't mind watching over him. He's seen Dan through his best and worst, and Dan would never know. He couldn't. He might hate Phil if he found out. And Dan was the only person Phil was made for.
He was beautiful now, as he always had been. His soul shone so brightly, in the most glorious shade of blue Phil had ever known. The same color as Phil's own eyes. They say the eyes hold the soul, well Phil's eyes held Dan's. He was so fortunate to be granted one of the purest humans in existence. Phil knew Dan was perfect from the start. When he first saw the beautiful soul his eyes took their color and he instantly fell in love. It was his job to protect this human.
And he did a shit job of it too. Over the years Dan's soul had fluctuated in the most unhealthy way. It had gone from heavenly blue, to red, to green, to black, to brown, and when Phil fell it was clear. Almost like it had disappeared completely. It had been Phil that had nursed Dan's soul back into existence. It had returned to it's natural blue. It was far less vibrant, but just as bright, just as beautiful.
Dan had needed someone that was more experienced than Phil, someone that would've been able to handle his problem without getting attached, but there was no one in heaven anyone could possibly love Dan more. Phil had sacrificed everything to save Dan, and he'd do it a thousand times over if that meant Dan would be safe.
Yes, he loved Dan more than life itself.
He remembered watching Dan like this from heaven. He remembered how sad the boy was. How many times had he gone to his elders? How many times had he begged for help only to hear a no from a merciless mass of aged angels? That was when Phil realized that his father no longer cared for humans, had long since given up trying to stop their wars. He was the last angel that cared.
He was created alongside Dan, with the sole purpose to protect him. He saw that little, blue creature crying out from the agony of living, and Phil reached out and soothed the boy with his voice. And he saw those big brown eyes against that shimmering soul and he was beautiful. That was the only way to describe him. Beautiful. There was no sin to be seen in him. All children are born pure of course, but an angel could tell if a soul was gonna go bad. And Phil knew instantly that was almost impossible for the beautiful human.
And yet his soul had come so close.
Everyday he wanted so badly to reach out and touch him, to protect him. Dan was not just his charge. He loved him. More than an angel should love a human.
There were rules. All angels followed them by default. Angels were mechanical, unfeeling by nature. There was no nurturing instinct to be found in them. Phil was an outcast. There was a fault in his system that made him feel human. He was more human than any of the other angels. It's why he fell.
He fell for falling in love.