A/N: It's one step forward, five steps back for Pansy and Harry and per usual its her own bad attitude that gets in the way. If purposefully ruining any chances at civilly completing her project with Potter and hating herself more every day wasn't bad enough, then senselessly whoring around was a miserable way to rectify the situation.

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September 13, 1996

On Friday the 13th, Pansy dragged herself from bed with the assistance of what ended up being the last of her pepper-up potion supply. She groaned at herself, rubbed her temples to attempt to lessen her headache, then ultimately decided they weren't working anyway. She ran a hand through her oily scalp and, with a tired sigh, began her day.

Blaise and Theo had waited for her downstairs, and again, no Draco.

"He's gone to fly around the pitch early," Blaise answered her silent question. Pansy nodded mutely and headed towards the Common Room entrance.

"Ah shit," she exclaimed, sounded almost as exhausted as she felt. "I've got to meet with Potter again tonight."

"Just don't go," Blaise shrugged as they turned the corner, "Show him what it's like to be played."

"Can't fall behind in class," she shook her head. "I just – I really can't."

However, that was a decision she ended up regretting by the end of the day. Pansy was tired, distraught, and barely able to focus on the words in front of her. Still, she made her way to the library and, surprisingly found Potter was already there. They greeted each other with short nods as she went around the table and sat in front of him.

"Let's get started then," he said, clearing his throat.

"We can just throw out ideas until we land on something that fits," Pansy offered, sounding oddly cordial. Potter only nodded, and with that the pair set off.

As her eyes began running down the pages of various potions and their descriptions, Pansy felt her eyes glaze over, and eventually the occasional sniff could be heard from their table. Potter was thankfully silent to her pitiful sniffling after she quietly waved it off as a cold. With only two weeks into the school year, it was still too warm for any students to be falling ill, but Potter – likely out of disinterest or gullibility – said nothing.

"We could do a Confusion Concoction," Potter said a half an hour into their session.

"De-gnoming a garden is just as brutish, if you prefer something more outdoorsy," Pansy answered in a bored tone, though lacking her usual confident sarcasm.

"That's the fourth potion you've shot down, Parkinson," Potter responded, sounding more tired than angry. "I can't be here all night. I've got – I've got a dinner to go to."

Pansy looked confused for a moment before quickly recovering. That prick much have decided Harry bloody Potter was more worth than her to attend his idiotic club of hand-picked misfit trophies. That blood traitor Weasley, the McLaggen buffoon, the walking corpses Carrow girls, and even Blaise, her friend but surely they were on the same level in terms of reputation.

They were all better than her apparently.

"Ah," she said after clearing her throat. "The Boy Who Lived goes to dinner. Sounds like the worst musical of the year.

Potter stared at her oddly for a moment then gave her a shit-eating grin. "You're jealous."

"I am not."

"Are too.

"Am not."

"Are too."

"Gods, stop this."

"Why?" he laughed, "It's fun seeing you realize you're not nearly as great as you think you are."

His moronic face of enjoyment was almost too much for her. He looked so damn happy in the face of her misery that she could only scowl in return. For a moment, she considered biting her tongue rather than say the cruelest thing she could think of.

The she just said it, because it wasn't as if anyone ever tempered their language when speaking to her.

"He's just collecting shiny trinkets, stupid," Pansy spat. "The Dark Lord and your dead mummy and daddy are the only things that make you special."

The silence between them was deafening. Pansy could only frown internally while trying to keep her face controlled as she realized being cruel did nothing to help lessen her own feeling of despair. It used to be that earning a look of woe or anger after delivering a particularly scathing comment was hilarious.

But Potter's face was blank.

And now, she was still empty.

"You're pathetic, Parkinson," Potter said after the silence became unbearable.

"Wha–"

"You hate yourself so much that you push that hatred onto other people – better people. Kind people. Genuinely good people that make you feel small. So you try to bring them down-"

"You have no idea-"

"I do," Potter said simply as he began packing up his things and swung his bag over his shoulder. "I do. You're pathetic and you'll never be any better."

Pansy watched numbly as Potter turned away from her and left her alone in the library with only her books and her thoughts.

September 13, 1996 (evening)

"It'll be worthless anyway, Pansy. Imagine the food Slughorn would have ordered. Just the thought of it makes me want to vomit-"

"Ahem."

Theo's light cough, almost inaudible from the noise across the Slytherin Common Room, stopped Blaise in his tracks. Her two friends shared a look, a subtle one, though it was not lost to the small, pale, sickly-looking girl between them.

"Stop doing that," Pansy grumbled, pulling her cardigan tighter around herself. "I'm not made of porcelain."

"Fine. We will," Blaise shrugged, "just go to the Hospital Wing."

"Like hell."

"I'll knock you out myself and drag you there if I have to."

"Not likely," Pansy scoffed in disbelief. She's always been faster than Theo and more crafty than Blaise when it came to dueling. Draco has been the only one of her friends to best her.

"Have you seen yourself lately? Your magic gets weaker by the day. You couldn't disarm a first year," Theo said in his usual soft yet earnest way.

Pansy sighed and closed her eyes, letting her head fall back against the soft she was sprawled on. "I just need sleep. Just let me sleep."

Though usually falling asleep in the common room was impossible, the moment Pansy closed her eyes she willed herself to slip away. And, after purposefully blocking out Theo and Blaise's hurried whispers, she did.

September 14, 1996 (very, very earning morning)

Hours later, Pansy woke up in a dark and empty common room. She blinked several times as she tried to bring herself fully into conscious and orient herself to her surroundings. It must have been well after midnight for the common room to be so empty on a Friday night. Whatever time it was, the eerie silence was occasionally interrupted by an underwater creature exploring the lake floor and murky green light coming through the large floor-to-ceiling windows. It was a scene that may have been frightening at one point, so unnerving and still, but Pansy was accustomed to it, and she found comfort in it.

She took a deep breath, then another, as she brought her legs up to her chest and wrapped her arms around her shin. The lake was still, the room was calm, so she could be too.

Though she couldn't tell how much time passed, the wetness on her face back obvious to her soon enough. Crying, again. Nothing was happening, but she couldn't stop crying.

"Fuck," she said quietly to the empty room. "What is wrong with me?"

Rather than attempt to contemplate her own question, Pansy slowly lifted herself from her seat and started to make her way to the boys dormitory. She didn't fully understand what she was intending until she pushed open a familiar door and peered inside. Per usual, their dorm was messier – and smellier – than her own but even so, she smiled at the familiar scents. Draco, Blaise, and Theo have slept in the same room since the first year, and since then Pansy has made herself at home within their walls. In the beginning, it was all innocent games and late night chats, then eventually she found herself in Draco bed.

"Who's there? Lumos."

Pansy partly shielded her eyes slightly Theo pointed his well-lit wand at her. "Put that away," she muttered, her voice quieter than usual.

"Pansy? Wha – what are you doing here?" he asked, turning on his bed until his feet were on the floor.

Pansy ignored his question and bewildered tone. Clearly the well-composed and perfectly calm Theo she knew was not able to survive being randomly awoken in the middle of the night. She was sure she had seen him napping before, or even in the early morning, just after he has woken up, but never like this; so vulnerable, full of confusion, unsure of what may come and unable to come up with a guess.

"Where's Draco?" she asked suddenly, noticing his empty bed. Right beside it was another with neatly folded sheets. "And Blaise?"

Theo cleared his throat in an attempt to compose himself, though he still looked pitifully cute with his tousled hair and croaky voice. "He, ah, hasn't been spending most nights here. And Blaise, well, he never came back from dinner. I'm sure they're both fine."

"Oh."

The pair spent a few moment staring at each other, Theo from his bed and Pansy awkwardly standing in the center of the room.

Stupid, stupid, stupid. You stupid cow, she thought, foolishly realizing that in her miserable state she pathetically went searching for Draco comfort - comfort that didn't exist.

Her mental beratment thankfully didn't long.

"Pansy, you look terrible."

"You're hardly a gem either, Nott," she countered rudely, causing Theo to lean back slightly in surprise. Sighing, she crossed the room and perched herself on the side of his bed. "I – I'm sorry. I'm not myself."

"Let me – us help you, Pansy," Theo pleaded. "Merlin, you're hardly ever yourself these days."

"I don't need - I just don't know... I mean... I just need-" Pansy steeled herself and placed a hand on Theo's thigh, partly hoping that he would be rebuke her and partly knowing that he wouldn't. "Theo, kiss me."

"Pans-"

"It's what I need, love," she said in a kind whisper as she raised a hand and place it on his cheek. She moved closer to him and began to move to straddle him. "It's - it's what I've been thinking of."

Theo said nothing as she lightly placed a kiss on his collar bone, then his neck, then his jaw, and finally she felt him exhale. Tilting her head up, Pansy gave him a small smile, though she wasn't sure he could see it in the dim, murky light of the lake.

"Are you sure?"

His voice quivered with uncertainty but his hands moved with confidence to her hips. Pansy didn't answer him. Instead, she pushed him down onto the bed and pressed her lips on his. That apparently was all the assure Theo needed. His body moved under hers, shifting and twisting until their pelvises were grinding and providing just the friction they needed to make them both desperate for more.

Pansy wasted no time; she stripped herself of her blouse and revealed her perky breasts, and Theo responded by shoved his sleeping shorts down to to his ankles. Seconds later, he was inside her, and Pansy threw her head back with a moan. She rocked her body against his and he twisted one hand into sheets while the other gripped her arse. She moved herself faster and fester, clenching her muscles around him, and riding him with an urgency that displayed her sheer need.

"Pans - Pansy," he groaned, tightening his hold on her. "I won't last-"

No sooner did the words leave his mouth than Pansy felt him empty himself in her. She moaned, and continued for another moment before pausing and inhaling sharply. Pansy quickly attempted to catch her breath as she moved off of him and onto the bed beside him. The pair remained silent as their heavy breaths filled the room. Theo's eyes were closed and his chest was heaving, and Pansy could only stare at him as her own breath began to still.

"You're amazing," he finally said, still breathless. "That was - for fuck's sake."

Pansy's lips pressed together as she held back a chuckle. It was odd to hear him swear, but then again it was even odder to see him in this position, essentially taking the place of Draco in her life. Distracting her from him, even, and Potter, and everything else.

And she supposed it wasn't so bad.

# # #

Here's a sneak peek for the next chapter:

Blaise called out, "Hey, idiots! Do you want a month's worth of detention?" while Theo reached for his wand, presumably to get a shield charm ready should they need it. Potter and Draco both noticed, though neither cared.

"I haven't the faintest what you're talking about, Potter," he snarled, his gaunt features becoming even more pronounced.

"Katie Bell–"