A/N: I apologize for posting this chapter multiple times, but I'm trying to make the separation between sections more obvious. For some reason isn't keeping the dates bolded, which is what I do on AO3. Anyway, I tried a few different versions but I'm not sure it's working out for me. Please let me know if you guys have any suggestions for formatting on here!
Here's your summary:
It's official: Pansy decided that rather than being totally miserable, she'll make a friend. A girl friend, for once. And Daphne Greengrass is more than happy to fill that role.
October 16th, 1996 (morning)
The following Monday Pansy physically felt significantly better than before; the scratchiness in her throat was gone, her neck no longer ached, and she was speaking far more clearly than before. All in all, Madam Pomfrey's healing worked wonders.
On the other hand, however, after having spent the weekend alone in her room, Pansy's mood was back to the notoriously low point it had been at the start of the semester. Rather than earn more of Blaise's ire, she avoided him and Theo at all costs, meanwhile she didn't even have to try to avoid Draco. The only human contact she had was with Daphne, who accepted Pansy's excuse of having particularly bad cramps and occasionally brought her meals to the room. When she was alone, Pansy intermittently cried and worked through the backlog of school work that had piled up while she was in the hospital wing.
Now that she was going back to her classes Pansy needed to go through extra steps to avoid her friends. She skipped breakfast in the morning then carefully and intently made a beeline through the common room and aimed for the exit.
"Pansy! Hold up!"
Gritting her teeth, Pansy stopped in her tracks and braced herself as she turned on her heels and greeted Daphne with a small nod. After visiting her in the hospital wing and tending to her over the weekend, the overly excitable blond was under the impression the two girls were fast and close friends. Though she wanted to chide her and find some creative insult to send her on her way, Pansy conceded to the fact that she had been spending far too much time alone and Daphne was better than no one.
"Daphne," she said sweetly. "Did you miss breakfast?"
"Waiting on you, silly," she answered as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. Daphne flashed her a dazzling smile and continued, "I saw Blaise and Theo leave without you, so I thought it best we walk together to Charms. You're still recovering, after all."
"What a wonderful thought," she said in a drawl. "Well, let's be off then."
Daphne clapped her hands together and grinned before sliding her arm into Pansy's. With a forced smile in return, she nodded and resigned herself to a long walk listening to a dull tale of Daphne's Hogsmeade trip. It was only after listening to details of searching in vain for a fashionable robe in a particular shade of mauve that Pansy desperately wished she could just be forgiven by the boys and end this torture once and for all. Truth be told, she couldn't tell if Daphne was genuine or not, but the thought of her being Pansy's only willing company was sobering to say the least.
"We stopped at Madam Puddifoot's for a bit of tea after wasting an hour at Twilfitt and Tatting's to no avail. At that point I was at my absolute wit's end. I mean, it was featured in Witch Weekly recently, you'd think this robe would be on the shelves everywhere! Rita Skeeter even wrote about it in Sunday's-"
"Oh will you look at that! We're here!" Pansy exclaimed once they reached the third floor classroom. She dropped Daphne's arm from hers as if it had been on fire and gave the girl one last smile.
"Oh? Well, I'll catch up with you afterwards-"
She swiftly ducked into the classroom and took the first seat she could find. Letting out a tired breath before placing her school bag on the desk in front of her, Pansy closed her eyes for a moment and attempted to find some peace before-
"You look better."
Pansy's back quickly straightened and she finally noticed who she had plopped down next to. Potter gave her an odd look and after a brief glance around the room she realized he wasn't the only one. In her haste to get away from Daphne, she took an open one next to Potter while ignoring a handful of other seats around the room, making it seem as if she purposefully decided to sit next to him. Her face flushed as her gaze landed on Theo, who was sitting between Blaise and Draco, and she looked away again to avoid the trio's strange looks.
"My mental state is questionable," she muttered back, taking a sudden interest in searching through her bag.
"Obviously."
"Attention, class! Attention now! I hope you all had a relaxing weekend and you're all caught up to chapter four of our book: non-verbal magic!"
Professor Flitwick managed to quiet down the classroom and immediately jumped into the lesson. Pansy signed thankfully. She was already well-practiced with a number of non-verbal spells, meaning her first day back wouldn't be as difficult as she feared. Still, she took out a parchment and quill and began copying Flitwick's lesson word-for-word, anything to distract her from the mess she had gotten herself in.
"Parkinson," Potter whispered. "You're taking more notes than Hermione."
"I have a lot of catching up to do," she hissed back.
"I've seen you do non-verbal magic before," he countered, sounding almost as if he was teasing her. Pansy rolled her eyes.
"Are you going to let me take notes or are you intent on seeing me fail this year?"
"You won't be failing on my account. I brought you your schoolwork, you-"
"You two back there- oh? Welcome back, Miss Parkinson. You and Mr. Potter had better be paying attention! Nonverbal magic, you see, requires great practice. As you read in your books, some spells are easier to perform nonverbally than others. For example, you may find that defensive spells come more naturally than curses…"
Pansy frowned sharply and glared at Potter, who only shrugged in return, clearly unbothered by being called out. For a few brief moments, they had the quiet attention of the room, and Pansy grew increasingly annoyed by the stares of their classmates.
"Is it my gratitude that you're looking for?" she hissed. "Well thank you , Harry Potter. You saved the day again."
"I can't help it," he whispered jokingly, "I'm the Chosen One, you see."
Against her better judgment, Pansy snorted and quickly turned it into a cough when Flitwick looked at them again and clicked his tongue.
"Humble, too."
Pansy pressed her lips together to keep from laughing again, and in an odd turn of events it was Potter that managed to turn her mood around, if only for an hour.
October 16th, 1996 (evening)
"Buddy buddy with Potter now, are we?"
Draco's sneer brought Pansy out of her concentration and back to the lively common room around her. Draco's loomed over her closely, his snarl accented by his sunken eyes and gray skin. It just hit her how much weight he had been losing over the course of the past month and a half, and she wondered if he was experiencing the same despair she was. She had thought it was some kind of teenage irrationality that was affecting her, driving her mad, but if Draco looked just as ill then perhaps it was something more.
"He's my potions partner," she retorted angrily, pushing her thoughts of concern away. "You know that."
"I wasn't aware that Slughorn required potions partners to laugh it up in Charms class."
Pansy glared up at him again, mentally threatening herself with acts of physical violence if she should start to break down. She would rather fling herself into the Black Lake than cry in front of Draco.
"Perhaps we were laughing at how pathetic you looked failing at nonverbals."
"How dare you-"
Just as quickly as Draco brandished his wand, Pansy was on her feet and pointing hers at him as well. She bared her teeth angrily and held her wand so tightly her knuckles turned white, and Draco looked the same. They glared at each other for several tense moments and the common room went silent around them. Pansy felt her wand electrify in her hand, every ounce of strength she had in her body was directed towards her hatred for Draco. Every things he's ever done against her, every day he spent ignoring her, every time he used her; it all came flooding back to her.
"Alright, alright, you two," Blaise elbowed his way past the small group of students that had formed around them and wrapped his hand around Draco's fist, forcing his wand arm down, and glared at Pansy until she did the same. "Grow up, the pair of you. Fighting in the common room? Are you both mad?"
Draco shoved Blaise's hand away and took a step away from them. "Just keep her away from me."
Pansy laughed and quickly collected her things from the sofa. "Don't worry, that won't be hard to do. Fuck you, Malfoy."
Ignoring Blaise's protests and the stares from her housemates, Pansy furiously wiped away her tears and retreated back to her down room.
October 17th, 1996 (morning)
In a not-so-sudden change of heart, Pansy decided to allow the lesser of the two evils into her life. For all her faults, at the very least Daphne had one things going for her: she preferred the sound of her own voice above all else, meaning Pansy could spend hours with her at a time and not be expected to contribute a single word. Daphne was a worthwhile companion in two ways; she believed Pansy to truly be her best friend ("Women always bond over trauma, you know. And I was in the Hospital Wing basically every minute of every day!") and she distracted her with ridiculous albeit mundane stories of woe ("And I said her shoes were spectacular and she said mine were fine. What does that even mean?"), which ultimately meant Daphne Greengrass was now the least stressful part of her life. After the tense moment with Draco, Pansy convinced herself that she needed to appreciate that, even if it meant listening to endless stories about things she couldn't care less about.
While the girls prepared for their morning classes, Daphne went on and on about a Ravenclaw boy in Herbology she thinks may have a crush on her. Apparently, he is attractive enough but occasionally bites his nails, which is a clear disqualifying factor for her.
"And what's worse; he never tucks in his shirt. Either he's a lazy or delightfully devil-may-care. Both have their benefits and drawbacks, of course, and I deserve to be picky. There are so many idiots in this school, it would be dastardly should I end up with one."
"I agree," Pansy said as she rolled her school socks up to her knees and began slipping on her Mary Janes. "Dastardly."
"Are you interested in anyone?" she asked innocently, pausing to give Pansy an opportunity to speak for the first time that morning.
"Absolutely not," she answered in a bored voice, looking in the mirror once more before collecting her school bag. "They're all fairly worthless, you know. Anyway, are you ready?"
Daphne nodded and hummed and the two girls set off together for the Great Hall. Pansy didn't mind if this became a habit; spending the morning together and strutting the halls arm-in-arm to their first class together. Tuesday mornings was always Transfiguration (which Daphne confessed she was horrendously lost in), then they had a double period of Divination. Truth be told, chronic fatigue, nausea, and general misery were easier to ignore when Daphne spun one of her ridiculously long tales about attempting to match a silk choker with suede boots.
"You're not hungry, are you? Pansy said suddenly, guiding Daphne away from the path to the Great Hall and interrupting a story about Bulstrode leaving her dandruff-infested brush on her duvet cover. "I'd rather go straight to class. And that way we can practice the Bird-Conjuring Charm as well. My wand keeps bloody chirping, but not much else."
Per usual, Daphne agreed and Pansy let out a mental sigh of relief. Thus far her avoidance campaign was working swimmingly, but that all fell apart if she was forced to sit near the boys for a half an hour, especially after last night.
Unfortunately it seemed as if Pansy wasn't the only person with the idea, and her heart immediately sank when they walked into class early and Theo was already there. She tightened her arm around Daphne's and lead her towards the front of the classroom, her steely focus never leaving the empty seats that were the furthest from Theo. For seventeen long, painful minutes, Pansy let Daphne continue her tirade against Bulstrode and the dandruff that was apparently suffocating her and polluting her air. She supplemented their conversation with occasional nods, touching Daphne's hand understandingly, as well as a handful of and aha's and hmph's , but otherwise she remained silent and tried to ignore Theo's stare as the room slowly filled with other students.
The rest of the class period went by just as slowly, though Pansy felt as if her body was in a whirlwind. It took everything in her to focus on the brisk, overly informative lecture McGonagall was putting them through. Luckily there was no actual wandwork during the entire period, thus giving Pansy some semblance of a break, and she doubted her concentration would be strong enough to meet the needs of the Avis charm.
When class was finally over, Pansy barely gave Daphne enough time to pack her things before she had her wrist in her hand and pulled her behind her, and they were out of the classroom before McGonagall finished her farewell. Much to Daphne's confusion, Pansy made a mad dash to the closest girls' bathroom and slammed the door behind them.
"Be a dear and watch that door," she choked out as she dropped her back and ran for the stalls.
For the next few minutes the girls' lavatory was filled with sounds of Pansy's heaving and Daphne trying to best to rudely shoo people away from the door. She used every excuse under the sun to discourage girls from entering; from insulting their hygiene to claiming a troll had taken up residence in one of the stalls.
Once Pansy was finished, she staggered out to the sinks and blinked away the tears had been flowing freely down her face. She spent several minute washing her face and swishing water around her mouth before her hyperventilation had completely subsided and she finally turned to Daphne.
"Well," she exhaled shakily, "That was unfortunate."
"Pansy," Daphne sounded concerned, though uncertain, as she picked up both girls' bags and walked over to her. "Are you- are you okay?"
"Oh, I'm quite alright, thank you," she answered, waving away her concerns. "I didn't eat breakfast so nothing really came out, anyway. Thank Merlin for small favors."
Daphne frowned, clearly not satisfied with Pansy's glib attitude.
"Are you pregnant?"
Pansy, in uncharacteristic fashion, was taken aback and sputtered through her response.
"Wha- what? No. Absolutely not," she exclaimed, "Gods, Daphne, that's a leap."
"Well," she shrugged coyly, "You're avoiding Malfoy and you're really tired lately, and now the vomiting. My cousin got pregnant last Spring and she was practically the same."
"No, I'm-" Pansy stopped herself suddenly, and sincerely considered what Daphne was telling her. She supposed it all made sense; all she wanted to do these days was sleep, she was constantly nauseous, and her mood was almost painfully sour. But still, it just didn't make sense. "I take potions, Daphne. And… and avoiding Draco has nothing to do with this," she gestured towards the stall. "He hasn't been himself."
"I've realized that too."
Pansy looked at her curiously, wondering what exactly Daphne was noticing. According to her mother, her younger sister may be betrothed to him soon, so she had to assume that Daphne had some kind of information Pansy wasn't privy to.
But I don't care, she told herself, and briefly she believed it. Her heart sank once more, however, because if she was pregnant perhaps it could be Draco's and he would be forced to speak to her and Narcissa would insist they be married then he'd finally be hers and she would never have to worry about being without him again and they would be-
"Stop it," she said out lout, leaning against the sink when a bout of dizziness hit her.
"What?" Daphne asked, stepping forward to steady her. "I'm not doing anything."
"Not... not you," Pansy exhaled, her chest heaving. "I- I need to sit. I need- I- I don't know what wrong with me."
Daphne guided Pansy to the floor and the two girls stayed that way throughout the entirety of double Divination; Pansy sobbing and dry heaving, and Daphne holding her through her confusion.
October 18th, 1996 (afternoon)
"Parkinson."
"Potter."
They greeted each other with an odd amount of cordiality as they reached their assigned table at the same time. Potions was never a walk in the park, but after their public non-hatred in Charms and her row with Draco, Pansy felt far more tense than usual. Daphne had insisted on walking Pansy to almost every class they didn't have together since her fit in the bathroom (after which she forced her to down an entire chocolate bar) and she did feel well enough to handle whatever was going to be thrown at her now. The stares, Slughorn, even Harry Potter himself.
"He's going to ask us about the potion."
Pansy's gaze immediately whipped back to Potter, her eyebrows furrowed together in confusion. "What?"
"I asked him for an extension since you were, ah," he cleared his throat, "otherwise indisposed."
"You mean slowly and painfully healing after you pushed me down a flight of stairs?" she raised a pointed eyebrow, pressing her lips together to hold back a smirk.
"How many times do I have to apologize for that, Parkinson?"
"Oh, oh, no, my neck," she gasped in faux pain and raised her hands to grip the nape of her neck, "Oh, the pain -"
"Alright, I get it!" he hissed, then shook his head. "Sorry, sorry, sorry again. Jesus, how many times has Malfoy apologized?"
Pansy frowned sharply then turned away from him to retrieve the things she needed from her bag. She had her book, parchment, an ink glass, and two quills out before Potter spoke again.
"He hasn't, has he?"
Pansy said nothing and began to organize the items on her desk - parchment straight and crisp, quills right next to it, the ink glass towards the front, her textbook-
"Parkinson."
"Alright," she spat. "Apologies aren't exactly Draco's thing."
It was Potter's turn to remain quiet and before she could continue, Slughorn called the class to attention.
"Quiet now, class! Quiet now! I expected each and every one of you to read the chapter concerning Golpalott's Third Law over the weekend, quite the interesting law indeed. It may be a bit hard to wrap your heads around but essentially- ah! Miss Parkinson! Welcome back, and I hope you're feeling better after your time away."
Pansy gritted her teeth in annoyance. Leave it to Slughorn to bring more attention to her than necessary. She purposefully ignored the whispers from around the class and tried not to notice Theo staring at her, and Draco purposefully looking directly away.
"Yes, Professor, I am. It was quite a lovely holiday."
Beside her Potter coughed quietly and held his fist over his mouth as he became overly interested in his nails.
"R-right. Now, I promised Mr. Potter to wait until you returned to ask for the potion you will be perfecting over the course of the-"
"Elixir to Induce Euphoria," she interrupted him, straightening her back and folding her hands together on the table in front of her. She looked straight at the professor as Potter slowly turned his confused gaze to her.
"Well that's a particularly advanced potion to perfect-"
"You said yourself, Professor," she looked at Potter with a sardonically sweet smile, "Mr. Potter is a natural master potioneer."
Slughorn let out a hearty laugh and pointed affectionately at Potter. "That is right, Miss Parkinson. You lucked out on this young man, I'll tell you that. Now, Golpalott's Third Law-"
"Seriously?" he whispered
"I hope you're ready for some long, tired nights in the library, Potter. You owe me."
"I'm taking back at least four of my apologies now."
"Doesn't matter," Pansy smirked knowingly as she dipped her quill into ink and prepared to take notes, "I already have your eternal, never-ending remorse."
Potter grumbled something inaudible but said nothing else, and Pansy smirked wider knowing she had won.
October 19th, 1996 (evening)
Pansy left her last class of the day feeling far lonelier than she had for the past couple days. Just when she was starting to welcome and appreciate Daphne's presence, the bubbly blonde was nowhere to be seen. While Daphne had initially made the habit of meeting her several times a day in the corridors if they didn't have classes together, now Pansy went through three periods without seeing her unlikely friend at all. And she missed the bloody witch, as implausible as it seemed. What's more, she was actually worried. It wasn't like Daphne to disappear without a trace.
Rather than heading towards the Great Hall for dinner, Pansy searched the dungeons for Daphne. Then she searched the corridors around the kitchens. Then she searched the library. Then the Astronomy Tower.
No where.
With a tired sigh, she walked down the Grand Staircase to attempt to salvage a few minutes of dinner. The moment she gave up, however, she heard the soft sounds of sobs coming of an alcove she hadn't passed before. It was a wild chance, but if Daphne was nowhere else then maybe Pansy's own mood was rubbing her and she was off having a nice cry.
"Daphne?" she called out, slowly making her way around the corner.
The crying suddenly stopped for a second, only to be replaced by sporadic sniffles.
"P- Pansy?"
She finally rounded the corner and came face to face to Daphne on the floor, her knees brought up to hid her face. She was a long, slender confident girl, and seeing her in such position was heartbreaking.
"What are you doing?"
"Oh, n- nothing. You know, just-" Daphne cut herself off with another round of sobs and Pansy sighed as she walked up to her until she was standing at her feet. She leaned down slightly and placed her hand on her head then scratched the top of her head softly.
"Daphne, love," she said softly, a voice she had never used with any of her friends before. "Why are you crying?"
"Oh, boys, you know," she sniffled. "They're all idiots."
Pansy nodded. "Terribly so."
"Exactly," Daphne chuckled through her hiccups. "Bloody idiots. I bet that's why they keep us apart, in the dorms, I mean. With the magical staircases. Because they would dumb us all down with their stupidity."
She laughed and held out her hand for Daphne to grasp. After she pulled her up, Pansy put her arm around the taller girls' waist and held her as they slowly walked towards the Grand Staircase.
"Actually," she thought suddenly, "It only goes one way. We can go up the boys' stairs, but they can't use ours."
"Really?" Daphne said in a surprised tone as she wiped her face. "How do know that?"
"Oh, don't tell me you've never heard the 'Pansy Parkinson, the Grand Slytherin Slag' rumors before," Pansy laughed bitterly.
"I have," she responded matter-of-factly, "I just assumed they were greatly exaggerated.
Pansy smiled slightly in response, a genuine smile though she couldn't quite understand Daphne's kindness. As a Slytherin, she could have taken advantage at that moment. Instead, either she was holding back or she was hardly a Slytherin at all, at least not in the way Pansy understood it.
"Well, you're not wrong. Some people take pleasure in- Potter ."
She stopped herself short as they turned the corner and nearly ran head first into Harry Potter. He looked equally as surprised to see them, and tucked away an extremely wrinkled parchment into his school bag before he spoke.
"Parkinson. Hello."
"Potter," Daphne repeated after her, though she overcame her surprise enough to sneer.
"Ah, I interrupted a training session, I see," he glanced at Daphne briefly. "Greengrass, right? Are you doing tutoring sessions now, Parkinson?"
"Kindness is in my blood, Potter," she sniffed haughtily. "Later I'll try to help you a tad and introduce you to a comb."
Daphne laughed, slightly too loud, but Pansy smiled any way.
A/N:
Sneak peek for the next chapter:
"Who's there?"
It took all of her strength not to jump directly out of her skin when she heard a familiar voice behind her. Leave it to Potter to interrupt her tear-filled pity party.
"Potter?" she called back.
"Parkinson?"
"No," she rolled her bloodshot eyes and sniffed, "It's the Minister of Magic."
(I know, I know. It's taken ten chapters for Pansy and Harry to actually get going, but trust me! It'll be worth it!)