Title: My Own Demise
Author: Kyra
Disclaimer: Nothing but the plot is mine, so please don't sue! All you'd get is some pocket lint anyway.
Summary: Harry's tired of everyone expecting him and him alone to save the world, or die trying.
Spoilers: Through book 5, starts the following summer.
Warnings: Slight slash, nothing hardcore though, just hints of it for now.
A/N: This chapter is dedicated to absque amor, who asked me to update in a review reply at the end of one of her stories and made me realize that I really did need to get my ass into gear and update!
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Chapter 8: A Late Night Attic Meeting
Harry lay in bed listening as Ron's breathing slowly evened out in sleep and the redhead started snoring. After waiting a few minutes to make sure that Ron was well and truly asleep, Harry slowly and quietly slipped out of bed and out of the room. As Harry passed Draco's room on his way to the attic, he remembered the blonde's words from that morning and paused outside the door. Reaching out, he quietly knocked on the door, not wanting to wake anyone else up. Just as Harry was beginning to think he'd need to knock harder, the door opened and revealed Draco.
Harry momentarily forgot what he was going to say as he took in the sight of Draco standing in the doorway in just his boxers, his hair slightly disheveled. "Um," Harry started, trying to remember what it was that he wanted to say.
"Attic?" Draco asked, unknowingly saving Harry from completely embarrassing himself.
Harry smiled slightly in relief and nodded.
Draco nodded back, "Sure, I'll be up in a second; just let me pull on a shirt and some pajama pants."
'Please don't,' Harry thought fleetingly before quickly shaking the thought out of his head. "Yeah, sure. I'll see you up there then," He said, watching as Draco nodded once more and closed the door before turning and making his way up to the attic.
About ten minutes later Draco entered the attic. "Sorry I took so long, I stopped in the bathroom to grab some bandages and stuff to re-wrap your arms," He said. When Harry didn't reply the blonde looked up to see Harry staring at a dark spot in the middle of the attic floor. Silver eyes widened slightly as Draco realized that they were looking at the blood stain from Harry's suicide attempt the night before.
"I lost a lot of blood, didn't I?" Harry asked as he finally looked up from the blood stain.
Draco nodded slowly, "Yeah, you did. I was actually afraid that I was too late. It was a really good thing that we had those blood replenishing potions; if we hadn't, I don't think you would have made it."
Harry blinked a couple of times as he turned his attention back to the stain on the floor. After a few more moments of silence he finally spoke up again. "We should probably clean this up," He said softly, "I don't exactly fancy trying to explain to everyone why there's a blood stain on the attic floor if anyone ever decides to come up here. Which is actually inevitable since it will need to be cleaned eventually."
Draco nodded his agreement as he slipped his wand out of a pocket in his pajama pants. "Tergeo! Scourgify! Evanesco!' He said pointing his wand at the blood stain
Harry looked at Draco in vague amusement, "Is it clean enough for you? I'm sure if you tried you could think of a couple more cleaning charms to use on it. Besides, it still looks suspicious; it's the only clean spot in the whole attic now."
"Oh, ha ha. Just put that rug over there on top of it," Draco replied, pointing at a rug sitting on a trunk on the other side of the room.
Harry nodded and placed the rug over the now clean spot on the floor. When he finished he turned to Draco looking curious. "You know, that's the second time you've used your wand in the last two days, how come you haven't gotten an owl from the Ministry about underage use of magic?" He asked.
Draco sat down and leaned against the wall, watching as Harry went to a cupboard and pulled out a bottle of Firewhiskey, "My father removed the tracking charms that are on all underage witch's or wizard's wands. I can remove the charms on yours for you if you want. You don't need to be getting arrested for defending yourself again like you did last year," Draco replied. "Hey, grab those bandages and stuff and I'll re-wrap your arms before I forget."
Harry nodded and grabbed the bandages and healing cream that Draco had brought up with him and left on a table by the door when they had decided to clean the floor. As he sat down, Harry passed over the bandages and healing cream then set the Firewhiskey down between them before pulling his wand out of his sleeve and handing it too Draco.
While Draco removed the charms from his wand, Harry quickly pulled off his shirt so that Draco would be able to reach his arms, as he'd worn a long sleeve shirt to bed so that Ron wouldn't see the bandages on his arms. Once his shirt was off, he started on the bandages. By the time his arms were bare Draco had finished removing the tracking charms from his wand. Taking his wand back, Harry placed it on top of his short off to the side and turned to face Draco holding his arms out to him, staring at the angry red lines on each of his arms, the lines on his right arm angrier and more jagged than those on his left.
"God, I really did a number on myself, didn't I?" Harry muttered, glancing up at Draco.
The blonde nodded, "Yeah, you really did. Sorry it's not as good as Madam Pomfrey would have done, but I was more worried about closing the cuts and getting a blood replenishing potion into you. I think I can get them fixed up well enough that the scars will be pretty faint, they'll still be visible but they shouldn't be too terribly noticeable. If anyone asks, tell them Granger's cat got pissed at you or something. Though, the scars that will be on your right arm will be a bit more noticeable, since those cuts were deeper and more jagged than the ones on your left arm." As he spoke, Draco looked closely at the healing cuts on Harry's arms, making sure that they weren't infected.
Harry nodded and watched as Draco lightly ran his wand over each of the cuts, further healing them.
Once he was done with the healing charms, Draco pulled out the healing cream and began lightly rubbing the cream into Harry's arms, taking care to be extra gentle when in direct contact with the cuts.
As Draco began rubbing the cream into his arms, Harry's eyes drifted closed and he had to bite back a soft moan at the feel of the Slytherin's gentle ministrations. He quickly reopened his eyes when he felt the blonde begin to wrap new bandages around each of his arms.
"You should only need bandages on these for another day or so, but I do want to keep putting the cream on the cuts for a few more days, just to be sure that they get healed as much as possible," Draco told Harry.
The brunette nodded, "Sounds good. How'd you get so good at healing charms? And learn so much about Healing? It can't be just from having to go to the infirmary at school, I've been there way more than you have and I don't know most of the charms you just used. Granted, I'm normally unconscious when I'm in the infirmary, but still."
Draco laughed, "No, it's not from being sent to the infirmary. I, uh, I actually want to be a Healer after I graduate." The blonde looked a bit nervous as he revealed the last bit, like he thought Harry would mock him about his career choice.
Harry looked surprised at the revelation, "Really? I figured you'd do something with potions. Ya know, a Potions Master or something. What made you decide to be a Healer?"
Draco shrugged. "I thought about going into potions. I do like them and I am good at them, but I think it's something that I'd rather do in my free time. If it was my job, I don't think I'd enjoy it quite as much," He explained. "And I decided on Healing because, well, I think it's interesting. And I can still do quite a bit of potions with it as well. Plus, well, it's a way for me to help people; not that most people would believe I'd actually want to help anyone. I actually started looking up Healing spells to help my Mother. My father used to beat her; not often, but when he did it was bad. And I wanted to help her so I looked up some Healing spells. Then it was so interesting that I just kept reading more and more about Healing and it turns out that I'm pretty good at it, too."
Harry nodded as he opened the bottle of Firewhiskey and took a swig before passing the bottle to Draco. "That makes sense," He said, "It's like me with Quidditch; I love it but I wouldn't want to play for a living, it would take the fun out of it. I'm sorry to hear that about your Mum, but you're right, you are pretty good at it. And surprisingly, your bedside manner isn't too terrible either!"
Draco sent a mock glare at the grinning boy next to him as he finished swallowing the Firewhiskey in his mouth. "Yeah, yeah, laugh it up, Potter. So, what do you want to do? After graduation, I mean."
Harry shrugged and took another healthy swig of alcohol. "Honestly? I have no clue. Never really figured I'd make it to graduation. I mean, I've nearly died every year since starting Hogwarts. First year with Quirrell, second year in the Chamber of Secrets with the Basilisk, third year I nearly got Kissed by Demontors, fourth year was Voldemort and the Tri-Wizard Tournament and last year was the Battle at the Department of Mysteries. And even if I do make it to graduation, there's still this stupid war, so it's not like I'd be free to pursue a career. When they asked us at school last year, I told McGonagall I wanted to be an Auror, but that couldn't be farther from the truth. I've been fighting evil wizards since I was eleven, I really don't fancy doing it the rest of my bloody life, you know? Besides, even if I do make it out of school alive, I doubt I'll make it out of the war alive. So what's the point in making plans?"
Draco looked at the Gryfindor with wide eyes, "Damn, no wonder you wanted to kill yourself!" He muttered, taking another drink from the bottle Harry offered to him. "And part of the point in making plans is so that you have something to look forward to, a reason to survive the war. You should have dreams of a family and kids and a great career. The more you have to look forward to, the more reasons you have to live, the harder you fight and the more likely you are to make it out of this alive. So you should definitely make plans. Harry, if you go into this thing thinking you're going to lose, you will."
"And how exactly am I supposed to win when nobody tells me anything and I'm not getting any training? Seriously, does Dumbledore expect me to win this war by using a Tickling Charm on Voldemort until he laughs himself to death? The only 'training' I have is five years at Hogwarts and Voldemort not only has 7 years at Hogwarts, but he also has how many years outside Hogwarts studying the Dark Arts?" Harry ranted. "I'm pretty sure luck is the only reason I'm still alive. Well, and you. If you hadn't been here I would have died last night."
"You said something about a prophecy this morning, what did you mean?" Draco asked.
Harry snorted, "Before I was born Trelawny made this prediction. 'The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches…Born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies…And the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal, but he will have power the Dark Lord knows not…And either must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives…The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord will be born as the seventh month dies.' Isn't that cheerful? So basically it's kill or be killed. And you know what the funny thing is? It didn't have to be me. I wasn't the only one 'born as the seventh month dies' to parents 'who have thrice defied him.' It didn't have to be me, it could have been Neville. But Voldemort thought I was the bigger threat; not the Pureblood, but the Half-Blood like him. By attacking me all those years ago, he marked me as his equal. And ya know, I'm not even sure if I believe the stupid thing. It's not like it matters, though because Voldemort and Dumbledore both obviously believe it."
"What about the 'power the Dark Lord knows not?' What's that?" Draco asked.
"No clue," Harry replied, his words starting to slur a bit from the Firewhiskey, "Dumbledore says it's love," He snorted. "Yeah right! Ooo, I know! I'll defeat him by telling him I love him!" Harry dissolved into giggles.
"Ugh, that's disgusting! You forget that I saw him when I refused the Mark! That is the ugliest man…Thing, that I have ever seen!" Draco exclaimed, looking slightly nauseous. "I have to agree, though, that it probably isn't love. I have no idea what it is, but there's no way it's love."
Harry nodded drunkenly. "You know what pisses me off?" He asked, "How everyone expects me to do this all by myshelf with no training what-sho-ever! All they do is sit around on their arses."
"Oh yeah. What'sh the point in that? No wheres in the propheshy did I hear 'And he musht do it alone!' Even if you do end up haffing to be the one to kill 'im, it don't mean we can't hold the bashtard down while you do it," Draco replied, his words just a slurred as Harry's.
"Right!" Harry exclaimed before reaching for the Firewhiskey bottle, frowning when he realized it was empty. "Well, damn," He muttered as he set the bottle down next to his shirt and wand. "You really think I can win?" He asked looking at the blonde next to him.
Draco nodded, "Yep! You just need to think you can and find reasons to survive. I'll help, too."
"Help? Fight or find reasons to shurvive?" Harry asked as he leaned back against the wall.
"Both. Like I said, nowhere does that stupid propheshy say you have to do thish by yourshelf," Draco replied. "Ash for reasons to survive, hmmm, what about friends?"
Harry snorted, "I hope you don't mean Ron and 'Ermione. But friends could work if it was you and Gin and maybe Remush and Tonksh, too."
Draco nodded, "And from what we heard earlier, maybe Blaish, too. What about plansh? Career, family, that kind of shtuff."
Harry looked thoughtful, "I still don't know what kind of career I would want. Not an Auror, though. Or Quidditch, flying should be fun, not work. I think I do wanna help people some though, 'Mione says I haff a 'saving people thing.' Not sure, though, I'll have to think about that. I've always wanted a real family. The Dursleys aren't what I'd call a real family; they hate me. The Weasleys are the closhesht thing I've ever had to a real family. Oooo, I know what I can do for a job! I can start an orphanage for kids that haff lost their parents in the war! Then none of them will have to grow up with muggles like I did!"
Draco nodded his head, "That'sh a great idea! I can be your Healer, in case the kids get sick or hurt. Ya know, if you don't mind."
"I'd like that. Maybe Gin could work with ush, too. We should probably plan thish out when we're a bit more shober, though," Harry said, ending his statement with a huge yawn.
Draco yawned as well, "Yeah, we should probably get some sleep, too. I dunno about you, but shopping ex-exhau-tired me out today."
Harry nodded and slowly pulled himself to his feet before reaching out a hand to Draco to help him up. As Draco grabbed hold and started pulling himself up, Harry lost his balance causing both of them to tumble to the floor, Harry landing on top of Draco, knocking the breath out of them both. As Harry caught his breath he opened his eyes, finding Draco's beautiful mercury orbs just inches away from his own emerald gazes. Both boys froze as they made eye contact and Harry's eyes quickly flicked down as Draco licked his lips. After a few frozen moments, Harry made a move as though to lean forward before he caught himself and quickly rolled off of the Slytherin and pulling himself back up to a standing position. 'God, what is my problem?' He thought, 'That's just what I need to do, kiss Draco! He'd probably never talk to me again! Get ahold of yourself, Harry!'
Draco watched Harry stand up with slightly wide eyes, 'Was he going to kiss me?' He thought to himself, 'No, it was probably just wishful thinking." He quickly gave himself a mental shake and stood up, gathering the medical supplies and placing them in the cupboard with Harry's Firewhiskey stash.
As the two boys headed for the door Draco stopped short looking at the brunette next to him, "Um, Harry? You might wanna put your shirt back on before we go back down or the Weasel might see the bandages if he wakes up before you."
Harry blinked for a moment as he looked down and realized he hadn't put his shirt back on, "Oops." He quickly went back over and grabbed his shirt, pulling it back on and grabbed his wand, which he had forgotten about as well. Once again fully clothed, Harry made his way back to Draco and the two went back downstairs.
"I'll see you in the morning," Harry said as they paused outside Draco's door.
"Yeah," The blonde replied before going into his room and closing the door with a yawn.
Harry quickly made his way back to his room and quietly slipped back inside, softly shutting the door behind him. He paused just inside the room, listening carefully and sighing softly as he heard Ron's snores coming from the other side of the room. He quickly made his way to his bed and slipped under the covers, rolling onto his stomach. He was asleep within minutes.
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Yay! Another chapter done! I hope you liked it!
I hope this chapter did a good job of showing that Harry's not as happy-happy-joy-joy as he seemed in the last couple chapters. Part of his good mood was having people around him who weren't insisting that he talk about what happened with Sirius and who weren't judging him and were accepting him the way he is. Part of it was Draco and having someone on his side who knew a bit of what he was going through and how screwed up he was feeling and was sticking by him Another part of it was pretending that everything was okay. And part of it was ignoring for a day all of the screwed up crap in his life. I hope that makes sense.
This chapter was 7 pages and 3,128 words.
Please leave a review!! I wanna know what ya'll think of the chapter!
Kyra