Some day in October:

The same dream again. Been having it for days now, still no clue who that girl is. I always wake up before I can find out. But surprisingly, it's not that frustrating. I don't exactly hate having that dream daily. It doesn't come with a bad feeling either. Seeing how it goes, I like to think she'd turn out to be someone extremely beautiful, breathtaking and not some weird, disfigured, creepy supernatural being with four eyes.

Ugh yeah.. That would definitely not be cool..

XxxxX

So later that day I was heading towards the dungeons for potions when rounding the corner, I suddenly bumped into Rose. As much as I wanted to smile or hug her or even have a proper look at her angelic face, I remembered I couldn't so I tried to casually walk pass her pretending I didn't even know who she was. But she, clearly had had enough of my strange behaviour.

"James wait!" she said, blocking my way.

And I froze. I knew this was coming. Obviously she was gonna notice I was avoiding her for a reason unknown to her. And she was definitely gonna ask why. But she couldn't know.

So I felt, it was a chance for me to do something that would force her to willingly stay away from me. And I took it.

"Rose.. Hey-" I began.

"Wow, you know my name? That's interesting," she taunted.

"I really can't talk right now. In a hurry, have to go somewher-" I tried to ignore her once again.

"Yeah I know. You always have to go somewhere whenever I try to talk to you, lately! What's up with you? Care to tell?" she asked, furiously.

"It's nothing like that. I was just -um-"

"No, it is! This is not the first time you're doing this, James. You're just never free to talk or hang for a while. I don't know what's going on! You're acting strange. This is not the usual you."

"Rose, listen to me-" I said, trying to stop her.

"No, James. You've clearly been ignoring me. So much! You keep coming up with lame excuses just so you can avoid spending time with me. This is not how we used to be. I don't understand. Is there something I've done? Because trust me I tried but I can't recall doing anything that might have pissed you off." She said, nervously running a hand through her hair.

I could tell by the look on her face, she had clearly been hurt and miserable with me avoiding her like this. Oh how I wanted to hold her and apologise for acting like a total jerk. But I knew she'd be better off without me. I had to let her go.

"You haven't done anything," I said, plainly, pretending not to be interested in anything she was saying.

"Then tell me what's the matter!" she pleaded before asking in realisation, looking like she had hope again, "Is it like that one time you broke my favourite doll and hid it so I wouldn't find out. And then you avoided me for like a week. We were kids back then, but do you remember how I forgave you in a heartbeat. Wanna know why?" She paused for a moment before speaking again. "Because I didn't wanna lose my best friend over anything. Anything! No matter how important. I know you're keeping something from me. Just tell! You know I won't judge-"

Here it goes

"Oh come on Rose! Stop overreacting. Nothing is wrong. Can't you see I'm not interested in any sort of talk right now? I told you I've been busy handling some school stuff. I don't have time to waste on some stupid gossip! I have more important things to do. And it's not like you're my only friend. I can't stay with you all the fucking time! We are not kids anymore. WHY DON'T YOU FUCKING GET IT!" I WANT A BREAK FROM THIS. FROM YOU!" I practically shouted, faking anger.

Never in my life before had I ever shouted at her. And never before in my life had I hated myself that much.

She took a step back in disbelief, confusion dawning at her face "Oh. Right. Of course. I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I was STUPID enough to believe that we're best friends. I'm sorry that I thought I might have a little importance in your life. And I'm sorry I overreacted and wasted your precious time. My mistake. You're not even the same person anymore. I won't bother you again."

"Yeah.. Guess that'd be for the best.." I mumbled, not having the courage to directly look at her.

She looked at me for a second with nothing but pure disgust in her tear filled eyes, before turning sharply and walking away. And I just stood there, in that deserted corridor, pretending I didn't give a crap about what just happened, as she left not knowing what she took along.

My Everything.

And just like that I got to know about the worst feeling in this world. The moment had finally arrived. The moment when I, James Sirius Potter, felt what it's like to have your heart shattered into pieces. It was the worst feeling. That ache; unbearable. And I couldn't do anything to stop it. I thought I knew what real pain felt like. Guess there are many kinds of it. Or maybe it never comes with the same depth.

If anyone heard this news they would probably laugh at the teller's face.

Who would ever think that James sirius potter could have real feelings, that James sirius potter could be fragile.

I had lost her. Worst part is, she was hurt. Because of me. Because I couldn't control my fucking feelings, feelings I wasn't supposed to have. Because I yelled at her when she was doing nothing but being a concerned friend. She didn't deserve this. I had always wanted to see her happy no matter what. And 'I' of all people had made her feel miserable.

The irony.

XxxxX

It had gotten hard for me to stay anywhere inside the castle after what had happened. So without thinking much, I decided to ditch all my classes and go somewhere I could distract myself. So there I was, sitting alone in a corner at Hog's head, downing, I don't know, a hundredth glass of Firewhiskey as I stared at a couple snogging eachother senseless. All I felt was pure envy. It was obvious. They liked eachother so they were together. They were happy. That's how it's supposed to be! I wanted that too, with the girl I liked. But fancying a girl brought me nothing besides grief, anger, self hatred, misery. It practically ruined my life. All I could think was: Why is it so simple for all these people and not me?

I kept sitting there until I could no longer drink. Plus I couldn't bear to look at those lovebirds any longer and things had gotten a bit hazy so I placed some galleons on the table and got up to leave the pub. But before I could go any further, dizziness took over me and the next thing I remember was feeling extremely dizzy, all voices fainting and everything going black..

XxxxX

As consciousness started to set in I saw blurry face of a girl hovering over me. I couldn't have a proper look at her. But I was sure I saw a flash of red. It had to be Rose. My head was throbbing with sharp pain so I closed my eyes again as everything was still a bit blurry and spinning.

"Are you okay?" I heard her ask gently.

"You came. I knew you'd come." I said, exhaling deeply.

"I'm not sure what you're talking about. I think you're mistaking me for someone else. Were you supposed to meet someone?"

I opened my eyes immediately and forced myself up. It was definitely not Rose.

"Woah, easy there. Someone had way too much to drink. You are in desperate need of a sobering potion." she said, trying to steady me.

"I...I don't need any potion. I'm ok-ay. Just have to get back to the castle." I freed myself from her grip and started walking, only to trip again. It was fucking embarrassing.

"Clearly," she said looking down at me. "Here, just drink this potion. You can't go back to Hogwarts in this condition."

"And what are you? My grandma?"

"I'm just trying to help you! You can't even walk properly. Don't you feel like being a headboy anymore?" she said, offering me a hand. "Honestly! I can't believe you came without a potion, if you were planning on drinking like this. Consider yourself lucky I'm here right now."

She had a point. I was definitely gonna get expelled if I went back all wasted. "Guess you're right." I took her hand as she helped me up.

XxxxX

Drinking that potion made me feel a lot better. I was able to walk properly again. Thanks to the girl who saved my arse from getting kicked out of school.

Considering she had helped me, I offered to walk her back to the castle. We walked in silence for a while before I decided to break it by thanking her.

"Thank you..uh" I said before realising I didn't even know her name. "I'm sorry, I forgot to ask what your-"

"It's Emily. 7th year. Ravenclaw. And don't mention it. I just happen to like you as a head boy." she winked.

"Right," I laughed. "So, Emily what were you doing here today? I thought only I knew about the secret passage."

"Well, I have my ways. And maybe you're not the only one trying to recover from a bad breakup," she grinned.

"No. It's not like-" I began clarifying.

"Cut the details," she interrupted. "It's none of my business anyway. But damn, you were wasted. I mean, I drank too but I came with the potion. Plus, I got my hair dyed. Kinda like a breakup recovery makeover."

That explained the hair colour. Had there been a redhead in my year, I would have known her. Because 95% of the time, any redhead seen at Hogwarts, is probably one of my cousins.

"It's really good. Suits you." I complimented.

"Thanks!" she smiled.

XxxxX

Reaching inside the castle, I asked her if she wanted to have a peek inside the Heads' tower, as I offered to share my invisibility cloak with her.

"I'd love to!"

She was positively delighted.

"Okay. The coast is clear," I said checking the surroundings carefully as we stood infront of the portrait hole.

"Snitch." I whispered the password and we quickly got in. Removing the cloak, I took a sigh of relief. It was a success; sneaking in. Seeing everything tidy, I was suddenly glad I had decided not to make any mess that day.

"So what do you think, Emily?"

"Wow.. This place is very.. Gryffindor." She commented.

"Yeah," I chuckled. "I love it here."

"It's Beautiful!" she said, excitedly looking around.

"It is."

While she was busy taking in every detail of my dorm, I took a chance to have a proper look at her. It was the first time I was seeing her in proper light. I noticed how attractive she was with that perfect oval face, bright green eyes and those long, dark red hair.

Maybe the day wasn't that crappy after all.

"You're so lucky, you have this place all to yourself. No disturbance. No sharing. No chatty roommates. Nothing annoying. Only peaceful silence." she sighed, as she sat by the fireplace.

"Looks like someone hasn't got any friends," I teased.

"Of course I've got friends! I just had a rough day. Don't feel like seeing any of them right now."

"Same here. Let's do something else then. You feel like having an experience?" I offered.

"What experience?" She seemed confused.

"You wanna stay here today and see what it's like to have a place all to yourself? We can stay inside, have snacks, play board games or something and we won't have to see anyone who might make the day worse. I mean, only if you don't have any other plans." I strode over to the couch where she sat, sitting directly across from her.

After thinking about it it for like a minute, she finally spoke, "Actually, I don't have any other plans and this seems like a brilliant idea! It's Saturday tomorrow anyway."

"That's more like it." I smiled.

XxxxX

We spent the afternoon just the way we had planned, eating, laughing, bonding, having fun, sharing stories and telling eachother about our insane adventures. She turned out to be quite similar to me. It was nice to have her there. She made me forget all my troubles for a while. I don't know how I would have survived that day without her. Stopping her there had been the best decision I'd ever made.

Something else happened too. Something I don't know what to call.

We were playing this board game; wizard's chess to be more precise. But I just couldn't seem to pay attention on winning the game as I still felt a bit tipsy and was busy stealing glances at her when she was not looking. She was quite serious though so I said something funny to distract her because I was losing. And she laughed; the most wonderful laughter, showing off her dimples. I couldn't tear my eyes off of her. I thought she was absolutely breathtaking in that moment. I couldn't help but stare until her laughter had reduced to a sweet smile and she looked at me with warmth in her eyes. We both got caught up in the moment, I bent over the board to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear, caressing her cheek. She lightly bit her lip, catching my smoldering gaze on her. Seeing she didn't push me away, I gently forced her chin up and leaning in slowly, I softly kissed her on the lips. Moving forward, she responded almost immediately, deepening the kiss. Her lips were so soft against mine, having a creamy taste. A perfect distraction. I felt like all of my emotions were heightened. Throwing the board away, I wrapped my arms around her as I pulled her onto my lap, breaking the kiss only to attack her lips even more fiercely. My hands roamed all over her lean figure, tracing her curves as my tongue probed at her lower lip to gain access and she quickly obliged. My tongue danced around hers, wanting to savour every inch of her as her hands tangled in my hair. I felt myself getting hard as she moaned into the kiss. Moving as close as possible, she pressed her core against my length, making me groan in pleasure. She was turning me on. So much. I couldn't take it anymore. I wanted all of her..

To be continued..