Tucked under thick blankets, naked, Rufus watched the man sitting in the chair a short distance away through half-lidded eyes. He'd been dozing off and on, and now the sun was beginning to set again. Maybe Tseng had been dozing too, his head tilted back against the top of the chair, exposing the long column of his neck.

Minutes later though, the Turk lifted his head and looked at him. Not wanting to be obvious by closing his eyes, Rufus didn't bother stopping his stare.

This man... was not doing his job.

Of course... Rufus was his job.

And the interlude in the bathroom had change everything between them in a matter of minutes.

A huff of air passed Rufus' lips. Tseng sat forward, watching him far too carefully, then stood, walked to the table, picked up a bowl, and brought it to the bed, putting it on the end table. The mattress sank down a bit at his weight.

Not this again...

Any protest didn't make it to Rufus' mouth though. He was so tired of fighting this man, fighting everything. He groaned when Tseng made him sit up, fluffing up the pillows, and the urged him back. The man picked the bowl of broth back up and looked to him. Rufus could see the question in his face: 'So how are we going to do this? The civilized way or childish way?'

"Tseng, you're not my nursemaid," he muttered, "Really, you aren't."

"No, but he quit the second day, so I'm substituting until we can find someone else who can put up with you."

Despite himself, Rufus huffed a laugh, looking down at his flexing arm tarnished with the markings.

Tseng didn't seem as amused. He put the bowl back on the table and walked to the door, saying, "I'll be right back."

Rufus stared after him, wondering what he was doing, but he was only gone a couple of minutes. When Tseng came back, he put a straw in the bowl, picked it back up, and held it close to Rufus' face, murmuring, "We'll compromise. The broth is cold anyway. Just don't drink it too fast."

Bone broth had never been Rufus' thing, but after watching Tseng's wary, urging stare for a few seconds, he leaned forward and put his lips to the straw and drew some of the liquid into his mouth. Cold bone broth was considerably worse. He cringed but managed to swallow the mouthful before he pulled away. At the swallow, Tseng exhaled a breath he'd obviously been holding in.

Yeah, you got me to eat something. Happy? Now go away and leave me to wallow in my misery and shame.

But Tseng stayed by his side, watching him carefully, while Rufus let his stomach unknot, watching his own chest breathe. The straw was put near his face again. The younger man preemptively cringed.

"I don't want it."

"I honestly don't care what you want at this point because your decision making skills have gone down the drain in the last few days. When you become rational again, I'll listen to you."

Rufus glared at the other man. "You're not exactly being the most rational person yourself, if we're being honest here."

The Turk stared at him before bringing the bowl back down to his own lap. "No, I haven't been. And I apologized for that."

"And what about in the bathroom just a few hours ago when you couldn't keep your eyes off of me? You didn't even announce your presence. I didn't hear any apology for that." Dark eyes met light ones in a stare that made Rufus' groin boil. Rufus licked his lips, and then couldn't help whispering, "Why... Why didn't you ever..."

Why didn't you ever tell me you want me?

He couldn't make the words come out. They offered up too much vulnerability and need to be said out loud. But neither could he break the stare. He wanted to know the answer, even if he couldn't ask the question.

But maybe Tseng hadn't wanted him before this week. Maybe this was just a response to Rufus' refusal to help keep himself alive. Trauma could create feelings of longing in people who otherwise would never have looked at each other twice, a life-saving response to a bad situation. He couldn't think of any other time in their history where Tseng had looked at him this way. The recognition of the probable truth deadened his heart.

"Why didn't I ever... what?"

Rufus blew out a heavy breath and searched the dim landscape exposed by the open balcony. He had to repeatedly blink his eyes to get them to focus properly on it. "Never mind..."

When he refused to say more, Tseng lifted the bowl and straw to his lips again. "Why didn't I, what? Watch you before now? Touch you? Kiss you?"

Blue eyes closed as a wave of heat went through him, making him dizzy. Did the Turk really expect him to be able to eat after those kinds of questions?

"If you drink more, I'll tell you why."

Rufus re-fixed his gaze on Tseng's face. In the impending darkness, he could hardly pick out individual features anymore. But Tseng's pale skin contrasted sharply with his dark eyes and hair, making the man look like some kind of apparition. A rather beautiful one at that.

Knowing the other man watched every bit of movement, Rufus leaned forward slightly and took a couple more mouthfuls, swallowing them. It felt like poison dripping down into his belly.

The Turk then said softly, "I did none of those things because I work for you. As I said, I crossed the line two days ago. And I did again today. I apologize. Again."

Rufus could see the shame in the other man's face with the way his jaw tightened and his gaze went to the floor. But the words were also the most obvious answer in the world. Of course Tseng hadn't done any of those things before because he worked for him. Tseng knew what Rufus did to people who crossed the line.

It definitely wasn't the answer Rufus had swallowed two gulps of that crap for.

Blond brows furrowing, Rufus growled out, "Do better than that. You haven't given me one bit of new information."

Tseng searched his face then, his apprehension so obvious in the darkness that Rufus almost wanted to have mercy on him. But Rufus said nothing, still hoping the Turk would answer more fully. He couldn't actually force answers out of him, after all. Hoping was the only way.

Finally, Tseng said, "I would never cross that line without good reason."

Rufus hacked a laugh over the absurd statement. "You call this, me dying, a good reason to climb on top of me and have your way with me?"

The Turk stiffened as his grip tightened on the bowl. "I wasn't going to rape you."

"Maybe not sexually."

The Turk's stare was grating, but Rufus refused to back down. He wanted this man to react, to get out from behind the masks he'd obviously built up over the years. He was positive now that there was so much more to Tseng than he presented to him, his employer. And now, after the last few days, he suddenly wanted to know what those things were.

"I... Rufus, I..."

"Yes?"

Tseng huffed and looked away from him. That was about the closest thing to a laugh Rufus had ever gotten out of this man. "It's not my place."

It was Rufus' turn to huff. "All you've been doing these last three days is insulting me, pressuring me, making me uncomfortable and ashamed. I think you've stepped well out of your place."

"That wasn't my intent."

"Then what was your intent?"

"I've already told you my intent," the Turk blurted out, clearly getting enraged, finally put the bowl back on the table. "It's my job to make sure you live."

"And you do that by kissing me?"

Brown-black eyes met his before the gaze moved slowly down Rufus' naked body, to the sheets at his hips. The eyes closed.

Rufus couldn't stand it anymore. He was just too damn tired to take this conversation at the pace Tseng obviously needed to go, which meant taking forever. He'd been trying to egg the man on, but clearly it wasn't working.

So he decided to help the man a bit with, "Just tell me you want me."

The renewed, intense stare brought new color to Rufus' cheeks.

Despite the sudden stare down, refusing to shift his eyes, Rufus continued with, "I won't drink another drop until you tell me one way or the other."

Tseng slowly smiled, making Rufus' heart thud. "You're going to coerce me into answering?"

"If that's what it takes, yes."

Tseng frowned at him thoughtfully, again looking him over. Rufus was glad his sheets were thick. "Do you truly want to know?"

Of course, he wanted to know. Otherwise he wouldn't have asked.

"...Why?"

Rufus pressed his lips together, trying to hold onto his self-control. When he felt he could control his voice properly, he said, "Because before this week, you've shown absolutely no interest me. And I realize that, maybe, that is because of my dire need for space and obedience. And you probably like your job. But I still want to know about before this week."

Tseng had gone completely still, barely even breathing, and then he said again with obvious caution, "Why?"

Good God, is he just going to keep turning these questions back on me?

Rufus gritted his teeth, annoyed, infuriated, but then again... Well, he really couldn't except this man to spill his guts without spilling some of his own. So, he answered the Turk's question with, "Because I've wanted you before this week."

I've wanted you even when I was with someone else. Even when you barely gave me the time of day. Because you were so strong, so assured, so filled with purpose and commitment. You were who I wanted to be with me, to be at my side, to be against me. And... you were also what I wanted to be, while I forced myself to be something else.

His mouth certainly didn't say that much. His eyes probably didn't say that much either. But his mind and heart did at least.

Suddenly Tseng was leaning forward, drawing ever closer, and as much as Rufus welcomed the advance, he still hadn't gotten an answer to his question and had a feeling the man was avoiding it. He put his hand to the man's chest, stopping him.

"Answer my question."

Tseng stopped, propping himself on an arm on the other side of Rufus' body, more or less caging him, making Rufus' breaths tremble and his body ache, which did nothing for his current state.

Really, Rufus needed to eat some more and sleep more. But he didn't want to do that before Tseng answered him. So he took the pain as it came and forced himself to concentrate.

Tseng's other hand gripped at Rufus' hand at his chest and then drew it to his lips, brushing their softness over fingers that wouldn't stop trembling. Finally, Tseng met his blue eyes and whispered, "I've wanted you for a long, long time."

Rufus was sure he was going to die at that moment. Surely that would have been the sensible thing to do.

Instead, tears fell down his cheeks. He didn't really know why he was crying. Perhaps it was just a release from so much built up tension over the day, months, years. Years and years and years of tension and more tension that he could do nothing about. Tension not only about Tseng, but about his father, his mother, a world he'd done his best to make hate as he hated. And now...

Rufus choked out a sob, and Tseng was instantly grabbing his cheeks again, rubbing at the wetness there, hushing him. And then the Turk was kissing him, so softly, but Rufus couldn't stop crying. Rufus wrapped his arms around him, holding him tightly, burying his face in his neck.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." Rufus didn't really know who he was saying the words to, but Tseng merely caressed his unclothed back, his neck, his hair, whispering words to him he couldn't understand in between kisses to his shoulder.

God, he'd never felt so cradled. So loved, if that was what this was.

Eventually, Rufus quieted, exhausted, his mind blanking as to why he was even crying. Then again, he remembered, there really hadn't been a reason. He'd just been crying at everything.

Tseng urged him back, all the way back until he was resting against the pillows again, looking at him with dire concern. "Try to eat some more and then sleep."

The bowl was brought near, and Rufus grabbed the straw, took a few more gulps that did nothing to settle his stomach and then laid his head back, looking to the ceiling, fighting off nausea. When Tseng put the bowl back and moved to stand, Rufus caught his wrist.

"Don't go. Stay with me."

There was only a moment's pause before Tseng nodded in the dark room. "I will."

When the man still made to move away, Rufus added, "I mean, in my bed."

The pause was much longer this time and Rufus became sure of rejection as time ticked by. But then Rufus felt the motion of Tseng removing his shoes. He scooted over and down, trying to not knock his own body around too much while doing it. Tseng laid down over the covers.

"Under?"

"How would that help you sleep? Besides..."

"Besides what?"

Tseng huffed, but heat was again in his eyes as he took in Rufus' body. "You're quite naked."

Rufus pressed his lips together, trying not to grind his hips at a sudden resilient, creeping hardness, instead laying his head on the pillow. "I'd like you under."

Tseng stared some more at whatever he could see in the darkness of the night. "It's... safer if I stay on top."

"But I like to be on top," Rufus sighed out, feeling sleep come up on him like a tidal wave now that he was laying down.

The Turk shifted onto his side and ran the backs of his fingers over Rufus' cheek. "Just sleep."

Within a minute, staring into dark eyes under heavy lids, he was.