All I have to say is thanks for sticking with me! My muse for this story is currently on vacation so this chapter took forever (as you already know) and is a little choppy. As an apology it has big moments of Kili and belly time :) please forgive me for the lateness!
Also, this chapter is shorter than most. Mainly because I wanted to hurry and give you all something to read
Kili's blood was warm. Whether it was from the alcohol or the raging frustration still coursing through him, he did not know. Although he had pretty good idea.
Surrounded by merry conversation and an orange glow from the large fire in the middle of the hall, he held tightly onto his tankard as Dwalin and Gloin drunkenly reminisced of old times. Everyone was in high spirits. The thought of the rooms and halls of Erebor once again being filled with their people was a cause for celebration. Even his uncle joined them, quietly sitting by the fire while the others shouted and joked.
"It almost seems unfair," Bilbo piped up good heartedly. He'd joined them moments before, uneasily looking at Kili as he did so. It was no secret he'd spent a good part of his day chatting to a fiery haired elf. "You finally reached your homeland and now you have to leave again."
"Ah, don't feel bad for us Mr. Baggins." Fili slammed a hand onto the hobbit's back, nearly knocking him off his stool. "We dwarves don't mind a bit of adventure. It's an honor for my brother and me to go assist our kin."
"Just you wait Bilbo." Kili raised his glass and gave him a crooked smile. "You'll be famous among Durin's folk when they hear our tale." There was chorus of agreement and drinks slopping over their rims. "As soon as we return, your name will be a part of hundreds of stories."
"I think I can do without the fame," Bilbo chuckled. "After all, our adventure isn't quite over. There isn't an ending to all those stories yet."
The laughter died down and the smiles became sober. No, there wasn't an ending to their adventure. They still lived it every day. There would be no tales or songs until either Azog or the line of Durin was dead. Although things seemed relatively safe now, they all knew it wouldn't remain that way and it was uncertain who would make it out of this one. Last time, three of them had nearly been taken.
"This is true." Thorin looked into the fire as he spoke. It ignited his face in a fiery glow; much like dragon fire. "The danger is far from over. Our fates are not yet determined. Azog wants to hurt the ones we care for; he wants to break us." Kili's mind wandered to someone he cared for; someone he was currently quite angered with, but cared for nonetheless. "Our stories may not be finished lads, but we have no reason to believe it won't end with all of us sharing our tales. Whatever heartache and suffering Azog has in mind, we'll make it through."
Amidst the cheers and yells that followed, Kili locked eyes with his brother. Smiling, as he lifted his mug to join in the celebration, Fili gave a short nod to the doorway. He took the hint. Dodging spilling ale and friendly punches, Kili quietly stepped out the hall.
The rocky outcrop wasn't comfortable for her aching back, but Tauriel couldn't bring herself to care as she gazed at the stars. What a wonderful thing the sky was. She couldn't see it from the room she shared with Kili. There were no windows anywhere in the mountain, from what she understood. In her old home, Tauriel could see the sky whenever she wished.
Living under earth and rock, it was a special treat to see the twinkling lights.
That was another thing she would have to get used to. It was added to list, just under 'treated like glass' and 'no one agreeing with her.' Thinking about her current conflict, she silently wondered if she would have to add 'males thinking they know better' to the list as well.
No, she decided. Definitely not. Although Bilbo had made her realized she'd acted a little rash, Tauriel had no desire to apologize first. In her opinion, Kili thinking he could order her around was a far worst act.
So, Tauriel sat in silence. She wished Talagor had been able to join her, but the shards of rocks were too jagged for the animal to navigate. He was most likely still wandering down below by the gates into the mountain. If it wasn't so late, she would have rode into Dale to get the opinion of her friends. Surely Sigrid would have taken her side.
There wasn't too much time to dwell on that thought, however. From far below, Tauriel heard the shifting and falling of rocks. The muttered curses and swears travelled quickly through the silent air and Tauriel almost smiled. He'd found her. She shouldn't have been surprised. Even being frustrated and angry, Kili didn't stop caring so easily.
After several minutes of interrupted star gazing, Tauriel looked over to see a young dwarf pull himself over the ledge she was laying across. He didn't smile at her, however he didn't seem as angry as he had been when she stormed from his room. Breathing heavily, he flopped onto the rock next to her, laying back to look at the sky.
"That was fast," she commented calmly.
"If there's one thing I can do right," he joked solemnly, "it's climbing rocks."
Smells of ale, smoke, and leather wafted off of him. Tauriel didn't know why, but she suddenly felt a twinge of sickness. Not nausea, but almost a sadness deep in her gut. She felt a deep longing for home, but not Mirkwood. She was homesick for the father of her child.
She was not apologizing for her words, but even Tauriel knew there needed to be compromise.
"I'm sorry I shouted," she said quietly, eyes still fixed on the stars, "but I'm not sorry for what I said."
A rough hand sought out hers. Tauriel didn't resist when he grasped it tightly. For a moment, it was quiet once again as they watched the sky.
"I'm sorry I made you shout," he replied, "but you can't come."
There it was. The source of all their petty arguments and the answer remained unchanged. Tauriel sighed loudly, ignoring the frustrated lump in her throat. As much as she loved her child, she hated that carrying a baby made her want to cry every few minutes.
"Bilbo explained to me why it wasn't an intelligent thought," she explained slowly. "Coming with you, I mean. To be honest, I was upset I couldn't come with you but it made me furious that you began ordering me around." Tauriel finally tore her gaze away from the twinkling stars to look at her partner. Kili was already watching her carefully. "I'm not a woman from the race of Men, that let others walk all over them."
"I know you aren't." His hand tightened around hers. "Trust me, I have no desire to order you around. I've seen what you do to those that try." For the second time, Tauriel nearly let herself smile. "What you were suggesting was such a frightening thought that it made me angry and I'm sorry for that."
Tauriel thought a moment. It was a fair apology, even though it wasn't the results she wanted. However, that was compromise.
"I'm not happy," she said grudgingly. Kili smirked. "But I suppose I'm not angry anymore."
"That's all I ask for." He pushed closer, placing a quick kiss to her hairline. "I'm a little surprised we ended this so quickly though."
"I can start shouting again," Tauriel suggested lightly, "or crying. Whichever you prefer."
He laughed, a loud, pleasant sound that echoed off the rocks. Tauriel grinned, her attention still held by the stars. A few twinkled, almost as if they were joining in on their fun.
"I think I can do without both. Are you ready to go in? I uh-need to finish getting some things together." As he spoke, Kili wished he'd kept his mouth shut. The starlight seemed to reflect off Tauriel's eyes and illuminate her skin, making a surreal glow around her. There was a sense of peacefulness, now that their argument had ended, that came from her as well. Kili suddenly felt a wave a guilt that she slept under layers of stone. "Never mind. I'll see you when you come in later, alright?"
Tauriel pushed herself up on her elbows, watching as he made his descent. "Are you sure? I can come in now."
He shook his head, smiling as he did so. "I'm only packing."
She settled back down on the rocks. "Alright, only a few minutes longer."
Even though she didn't realize it, Kili knew it was a lie. Smiling to himself as he maneuvered the rocky shards, he decided he would never deny Tauriel a chance to bask in the starlight.
Tauriel was embarrassed as she finished climbing down the mountainside. Judging by how far the moon travelled after Kili went in, she guessed she remained outside another two hours or so. He was most likely asleep, preparing himself for the journey ahead. Petting Talagor's nose as she passed, she fully realized how selfish she'd been. It would be ages before she would see Kili again and Tauriel had spent their last day completely angry at him.
"But really mellon," Tauriel defended her inner thoughts to the horse. "I still truly believe he was overreacting. If nothing happens to me, then how does the baby get harmed? If you ask me-."
She froze. From somewhere in her midsection, there was a flutter. Like the softness of a butterfly's wings, small nudges prodded her inner skin.
"Oh Valar," she whispered, hands flying to her stomach. Her breath came out in gasps. No one told her it would be like this; so small and fragile feeling. Tauriel had assumed when she felt the child it would be kicks to her spine; not the defenseless fluttering she was feeling now. "Oh Valar. Kili. Kili!"
Tauriel beamed. Amazed tears leaked from the corner of her eyes. She needed him to see this; to feel it. Tauriel turned to the mountain gates and sprinted. Ignoring the fact it was in the middle of night and there were most likely a few members of the mountain sleeping, she yelled the entire way.
"Kili!" There another flutter. How could she be so ignorant? The movement inside of her wasn't strong. It wasn't capable of holding its own life yet. How could she consider putting it in a dangerous situation without serious need? Skidding around a dark corridor, she prayed the Valar wouldn't punish her for her foolishness. "Kili! I felt it!"
Their rooms were down the hall. Kili, who'd obviously not been asleep, must have heard her last shout. The wooden door flung open. Wide eyed and looking as though he was prepared to bolt, Tauriel practically threw herself at him.
"What's wrong?" he demanded as she sunk to her knees, nearly laughing from pure elation. "Are you okay?"
"I felt it," Tauriel smiled. "The baby moved. Here-." She grabbed his hand, shoving it onto her midsection. A series of minuscule nudges touched her belly. They were so soft, she nearly missed them herself. "Our baby. Our baby is moving." The tears from before continued to steadily leak down her cheeks. She laughed again, looking down at where Kili's hand was pressed close to stomach.
"I-I don't feel anything," he muttered, staring intently at where she'd placed his hand. "I can't feel him."
"It's like tiny wings," Tauriel whispered. The words, although quiet, came rushing out as the tears grew heavier. "He feels so small. I know why you didn't want me to come now. Oh, I'm so sorry my little boy. Kili, he feels so small. He's alive and well and I was mad because you wouldn't let me put him in harm's way. I'm so sorry my little baby. I'm sorry. Can you feel that? Kili, can you feel him?"
He shook his head, but didn't let his hand drop. Smiling, he gave a breathy laugh at Tauriel's senseless tears. "I thought we agreed no crying."
"He's moving," she gasped, ignoring his teasing. "It's just a little baby in there and I wanted to fight for you. Kili, he feels so small! Oh, I wish you could feel him."
"I will," he assured her. "I think he's got to grow a little bit more."
"Maybe when you come home," she mused.
"Maybe then," Kili agreed, his smile faltering.
They retired to bed after that, entangled in each other's limbs. Tauriel was a little ashamed it took her feeling her child for her to realize what she was putting at risk. The weeks, and possibly months ahead, would be rough and for one of them, quite dangerous. Tauriel knew their son would be safe with her, inside the mountain and Kili was one of the best warriors from the line of Durin. Truly, she had nothing to worry about.
An uneasy sleep came to both of them, almost as if they knew, in their back of their minds, it wouldn't be as easy as they hoped.
I don't see either Kili or Tauriel holding a grudge towards each other for long. Both are complete suckers when it comes to love.
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