So, dont kill me. Pretty sure its been months upon months since I updated but im back everyone! Hope I didnt piss too many people off. Love you and hope you enjoy this chapter! There isnt too much to it. Something small to get you all back into the story.

Little M material here

The days since Kili and Fili's departure seemed to get slower and slower with each one. Although there was always something to be done, there were always long moments of the day that Tauriel was painfully reminded she did not belong in the mountain. It was not that the dwarves were cruel to her. In actuality, most of them were quite pleasant when they would run into each other and she could usually find good conversation with Bilbo when he was able. It was at night that the loneliness came. Without Kili there, lifting her spirit, the weight of the mountain looming over her was almost crushing. She craved the starlight like a traveler in the desert craves water. When the rest of the mountain's inhabitants sat around and laughed at old tales and stories, a time that she could be with them and possibly making a friendship with Thorin, she went outside to bask in the white light only night could provide.

"Do you think they've reached their family yet?" Sigrid's question was hopeful, loud in the cool night air. It's been half a month already." She gave a swing with her blade that Tauriel disarmed without hardly looking at her.

"No," she answered after a moment. "I think they would have sent a raven if they had. It should be any day though." She retrieved Sigrid's sword for her. The young girl was excited to learn, but Tauriel was realizing the poor thing had never held anything more dangerous that a carving knife her entire life.

"Good. I worry for them."

Tauriel smiled softly and grasped Sigrid's hand in her own. They were surprisingly rough, from her years of labor; a sign of the strong woman Tauriel knew her to be. "You do not have to worry for them. They're together. They won't let any harm come to each other."

Sigrid gripped her tightly in response, her the corner of her lips twitch. "You don't worry for Kili?"

"No, he and his brother can handle their own."

"Yes, I suppose so. I always forget they've seen so much more than me." Her friend nodded in understanding. They had been half-heartedly sparring in Sigrid's garden. The evening was late and the moon high, but Sigrid had not given any hint of wanting to depart. Slow as her training may have been, Tauriel could not doubt she was eager to please. "Do you think I'll learn a lot before he returns?"

Tauriel did not ask who he was. "Yes," she laughed, "I'm sure he'll be very proud of what you've learned. Perhaps you can even challenge him to a duel."

"Duels? You aren't sending my eldest daughter off to battle now, are you?" The pair spun around to find Bard standing in the doorway of their home. Candlelight spilled into the garden, enough that Tauriel say Sigrid give a teasing shake of her head to your father.

"Don't be silly, Da." Sigrid chastised. "Do you want to see what Tauriel has taught me?"

"Another time," the Lord of Dale smile. "You will forgive me Tauriel. The hour is late and I would like a word with my daughter and you have a visitor."

"A visitor?" she questioned. "Who on earth wants to see me at this hour?"

Bard shrugged. "I would imagine you know him. He was waiting outside the gate. An elf with blonde hair."

All the blood drained from Tauriel's face and she froze. Panic filled her and her mouth grew dry. She knew this moment would come. She had been better prepared for it. For half a second, she contemplated if she could make it back to the mountain without being caught. No. They would catch her.

Letting out a shaky breath, she went to meet her fate.

"You are hereby banned from the Guard. You have proved yourself untrustworthy, reckless, and above all else deviant. Those are no qualities of a captain." Tauriel winced at the words. She knew they were coming. She had been preparing herself to face the wrath of Thranduil. For the most part, she had managed to avoid his presence and along with the dwarves, as she mended the injured men. However, once the elven king had caught word the banished she-elf was still in the vicinity, it had not taken long for him to find her. "In fact, there is no space for that behavior in Mirkwood at all. However…"Tauriel curiously lifted her head. Around them were ruins. Small fires casted shadows on the crumbling, blood-splattered rocks. Away from the race of men and dwarves, Thranduil had decided to chastise her. The only ones around to witness her embarrassment were member of the guard; Legolas included. "I cannot deny you fought bravely. From what I understand, you thought what you were doing was morally right."

"But-," she made to argue. Legolas shot her a dangerous look and her mouth closed. "I did, yes."

"I was wrong to banish you," Thranduil confessed. "Sometimes your skill in battle makes me forget you are still a child, young and naive. You do not realize what you did was wrong, therefore I will forgive you this time, Tauriel."

Forgiveness. Tauriel did not want it. She did not want redemption for something she believed to be right, but her mouth remained closed. Not being banished would mean she had a home; a place deep in the woods were she could distract herself from him. "I do not know how to show my gratitude," she told Thranduil with a small bow of her head. "You are most gracious."

Thranduil moved closer to her and the warmth of his forgiveness was gone. "Do not do anything that requires my forgiveness again."

Like a wisp of the wind, he was gone, with his guard trailing behind him. Tauriel was surprised it did not make her sad to see the guard leave, without her at the head, but the emptiness inside of her was already too great. It was then Legolas approached her.

"You are not pleased to come home?" he questioned her with scrutiny. "Tauriel, this mends everything. You can come back."

"Oh, I am happy mellon," Tauriel lied. "There is so much to do though. All these hurt people. It weakens my heart."

"Yes," he agreed, glancing to the ruins were the moans and cries of pain could be heard. "Are you staying to help them?"

She nodded. Legolas gave her a gesture of farewell, knowing he'd see her back in the forest when her task was complete. As quickly as he came, she was once again alone. Tauriel was half-temped to follow her friend and leave for Mirkwood then. That would lower her chance of seeing him, but she would feel guilty for not helping the people of Laketown more. It was not their fault the wrath of Smaug and an army orcs had come upon them.

"You look tired." Tauriel jumped. It was rare for someone to be able to come upon on, unnoticed, but her mind was far too busy to be focused on approaching footsteps. Behind her, leaning on the base of a crumbling watch tower, was Kili. His injuries from battle were more apparent; a bloody bandage was ties tightly on his bicep, bruises were darkening on his face, and countless scrapes and cuts covered his skin. Her mind went numb. She had been hoping to not see him. Tauriel believed, if she never had to look upon his face again, she may have been spared from the heartache. Now, with him standing before her, there was nothing she wanted more than to be with him. "Do elves get tired?"

"What are you doing?" she demanded, urgently looking at their surroundings. They were most definitely alone in the dark. "You should not be here."

"I came to find you." Kili pushed away from the rock. Tauriel took a noticeable step back when he came closer. He froze. "Where have you been?"

"Many of the men were hurt. Badly." Tauriel would not mention she was had purposely stayed away from where the dwarves were. "My king required my council. I have been busy."

He didn't say anything. Not right away at least. It was clear he was not here to discuss small details or irrelevant parts of their day. Kili looked at her as no man, or elf or dwarf for that matter, had before. It made her stomach twist with uncertainty and something else, something new.

"You need to leave." Her words cut through the night air like a knife. Kili's jaw was set as stared at her, unmoving. "Now."

"Why?" He continued to stare, continued to test her. Tauriel tried to look stern. She did her best look fierce, cruel, and unforgiving. Her chest heaved with deep breaths as she met his hard eyes. "What's changed the last few hours?"

"We can't-what you want is not possible," she choked out. "You need to go!"

"You're lying."

Tauriel let out a frustrated breath of air, turning frantically. She wanted to bolt, hide, and lay on the ground all the same time. Kili remained unmoving, his eyes following as she took passed frantically, practically growling as she spoke. "I am trying to do what is right. Why can't you just help me and do as I say? Why are you being so stubborn?" She fell onto a rock, rubbing her hands along her hands angrily across her face as she did so. Tauriel did not look to Kili, for she knew she would only see his clenched hands and warm eyes.

"Stubborn? Me?" he demanded loudly. "Why are you so determined to ignore this? When we spoke in the dungeon, there was something. You followed me to Laketown for a reason. You cannot run away because you're scared."

"Kili!" Tauriel's voice was almost shrill in her frustration. Quickly, she lowered it in fear of being overheard. "This-it has to end here," she said through gritted teeth. "What are you expecting to happen? You are a prince. You belong in the mountain while I belong with my people. There cannot be way for this to work."

He strode to her then. Quickly and fierce, Tauriel only had mere seconds to gather what was happening before his hand was grasping the back of her hair and his lips descended on hers. She'd never experienced a kiss like this. Just hours ago had been her first kiss, but that was soft and sweet. This was not. This was hard and angry, full of desperation that this was the last time they'd lay eyes on each other.

With that thought, Tauriel kissed him back. His strands of hair were slick with the aftermath of battle, but her fingers twisted into it easily. She didn't know what she was doing, but it must have been alright because Kili only held her to him tighter. Her stomach twisted with a churn of something anxious and exciting as his warm breath mixed with hers. Then as suddenly as the kiss began, Kili pulled his mouth away, still holding onto her hair.

"I want you," he growled, his eyes staring intensely at her. "I don't care what happens. I don't care what people say. I admit I don't know what this is, but in my seventy-seven years of life I have never felt this way about anyone. If this is love, so be it. I will take whatever you give me. Whether it be just tonight or the rest of our lives."

"This is all it can be," she whispered sadly, breathing the words so softly it almost couldn't hear. Her fingers stroked down his face, trying to memorize the way it felt beneath her fingertips. Tauriel craved his touch. Her body was yearning to feel his skin against her own. Was it love? Tauriel did not know. However, she couldn't imagine wanting someone more. She tightened her fingers in his hair. If tonight would be the only night she could be in the arms of someone who loved her, she would take it. "Kili, it cannot be more than tonight."

"Tauriel," his voice yearned for her as he pressed his forehead to hers. "Do not leave."

She didn't have an answer. Instead she pressed her lips to his once more, letting his heat and strength consume her. In a perfect world, their kinds would rejoice and celebrate their blossoming love. In reality, they had this one night on crumbling ruins of a city before she would to go home. Tauriel would take it.

Their kisses grew harder, more desperate as they knew their time was coming to a close. In between the heat of his mouth, Tauriel pulled hers away, but his did not leave her skin. Moving along her jaw and down her neck, Kili's hand gripped her tightly enough to leave bruises as she gasped. "Have you-have you ever laid with another?" Her question would have made herself blush in other circumstance, but blood had already rushed to face.

Kili froze, his mouth hovering above the pale skin of her neck. Rising his head slowly, he shook his head. "No."

Tauriel swallowed thickly. "If this is love, then I want it to be you. If we only have tonight, I want to have all of you."

She couldn't tell if he was red from desire or embarrassment. All she knew, was a moment later he was yanking her from the rock, allowing her to sprawled on the ground before him. Tauriel didn't know what to expect. Of course, she knew the mechanics, but had never received details. As his thick fingers hooked into the top of her leggings, Tauriel felt nerves rattle her body. When he touched her, it took every muscle of her body not to scream out. She fingers dug like claws into his tunic and she was sure if she bit her lip any harder, blood would be drawn. "We-we don't have much time."

It was not loving. It was not romantic. Tauriel did not care. She didn't know it was possible to feel this amount of pleasure and desire all at once. Kili had to hold her close, bury her face in his shoulder to hide her screams as he swiftly entered her. It was quick. Tauriel's wave of pleasure washed over like a warm blanket and Kili was soon to follow. The only time he spoke was when he came, saying her name like it was desperate plea.

In silence, realization washed over her. Kili was breathing heavy on top of her, most of his clothes still in place. Tauriel's breath was the same, but it was beginning to get panicked. She had just made love to a dwarf. On top of ruins, after a battle covered in dirt and grime, and she asked for it. What had she just done?

Kili could sense her panic, saw the look on her face change. His smile that had been present dropped and he rose off of her. "Tauriel, I'm sorry-."

"No." She yanked her leggings on. "Do not apologize." Tauriel scrambled off the ground, frantically looking around to see if anyone saw. They were alone. "I was foolish to ask for such a thing." She could the evidence that he had been between her legs. She still felt the warmth and soreness. "I have to go."

"No!" His voice was desperate again, a pleading sound that made her want to cry. Her chest began to ache painful as she backed away. "I am so sorry. I swear, we can find way to figure this out."

Figure it out. No, his uncle would banish him for loving an elf, just as her king had done to her. He would be separated from his brother and kin. Tauriel needed to leave before it became too painful.

"No we can't," she smiled sadly. There was still the ache. A lump erupted in her throat. "I'm going home. It was just a dream, Kili. Its time you woke up and realized it can't be."

He said nothing. That was the worst part. He just looked at her. He just looked as she gave a small smile as a departure, turned, and fled into the darkness without looking back. Tauriel fled like a coward, ignoring the injured and hurt and fleeing to the woods; fleeing home. She shared an unimaginable moment of love with a dwarf, something she could never forget. However, Tauriel knew she had to do her best to forget about him now. She would not ruin everything for him.

Tauriel would never see him again.

Thanks lovlies!