Tony's mysterious agreement with Odin aside, the First Task isn't quite what he predicted. He's not really sure what he'd been expecting, but it certainly wasn't seeing Howard's judgmental mug after going over 20 years without. Also, his reads of Loki are all over the board; Tony's not sure if the discordant behavior is on purpose, or if it's something else entirely.

Title: Dance a Little Dance

Chapter Four: Tony Is Not The Only Asshole In The Room

Word Count: 5,018

[ Total Word Count: 22,545 ]

Fandom: Marvel Cinematic Universe

Pairing: Eventual FrostIron/IronFrost, if we can get there in one piece.

Warning: Language, adult themes, daddy issues, verbal abuse

Spoilers: Incorporates everything in the main storyline up to the ending of "Thor: The Dark World". Also, Tony still has the shrapnel, electromagnet and arc reactor in his chest.

Author: Kisnau

Date: Wednesday, March 11, 2015

Miscellaneous Notes: I had to do some tweaking because I mixed up a few things, but everything's sorted, now. Currently, the time in this fic (when Tony and Clint arrive in Asgard) is late January 2015. Thor was on Earth with Jane for Thurseblot (January 5, 2015), as he requested. The next Norse holiday is Disting (February 2), which will also be the celebratory feast that will kick off the intergalactic conference.

The timeline thus far:

March 2014: Tony heads to his Malibu home for some R&R (alone time) from Avengers Tower in NYC.

Early April 2014: Tony runs into Loki at the coffee shop.

Late April 2014: Loki and Tony meet up in the club.

May 2014: Still recovering from the club incident, Tony returns to NYC 'to escape the LA summer heat'.

October 2014: Tony's basically forgotten about the tryst by now.

November 2014: Thor arrives on Earth, after getting an indefinite sabbatical from Asgard.

November-December 2014: Tony considers telling Thor/The Avengers that he's run into Loki.

Early January 2015: Loki arrives in Asgard.

Mid-January 2015: Muginn takes Thor back to Asgard.

Late January 2015: Thor returns to Earth. Tony & Clint then accompany him to Asgard.

: : : : : :

Tony ponders what kind of trials Odin has in store for him all the way back to his room. The guards take their leave, and Tony wanders through an archway he hadn't noticed before, and does a double-take. Behind the screen, next to a huge golden bathtub, there is a maiden standing, and she pulls herself to attention immediately, eyes dropping as she curtsies respectively.

"Sir Starkson. Would you wish for me to draw you a bath?" Tony stares at her for a moment, then the bucket at her feet, then at the tub – with no trace of a spigot to be seen. He shakes his head. What is this, the Middle Ages?

"You guys are gonna need some indoor plumbing." He chews the inside of his cheek, in thought. Then Tony shrugs, and waves her off. "Nah, go ahead and leave. I'm good." The maiden gives no outward sign of her relief, and nods again.

"If you prefer, Sir Starkson, there are also the court's public baths." His ears perk, at that one, and he blinks at her.

"You mean like in Rome?" She gives him an odd look and he grins, a little charmingly sheepish. "Sorry. Actually, that sounds pretty good. Where are they?" She inclines her head and bows respectively.

"I will escort you." Tony nods and makes to follow her – he could use some relaxation after the day he's had; it's not too late, anyway.

"Hey, could we find where Clint and Thor got to?" He asks, as they're walking down the corridors, his eyes still taking in the vast expanse of the huge golden hall they're currently passing through.

"Sir Eye of Hawk retired to his room for the night, requesting not to be disturbed until morning." Inwardly, Tony could already see Clint sneaking out to explore the castle and find himself roosts; a place with high ceilings like this must be candy to him. "The Crown Prince – " Oh, right, Thor was that here, wasn't he? " – was summoned by the All-Father before your audience, M'lord, and I had heard he then retired to his chambers."

Tony jerked a little, at the title, and shook his head from behind her.

"Hey, none of that. I'm just Tony, the mechanic; always have been, always will be." He joked, and the maid gave him another strange look from over her shoulder before inclining her head.

"Sir Starkson." Inwardly groaning, Tony just sighed as she opened the door for the baths, where he was handed off to a manservant dressed in only a toga around his waist – probably because it was so humid in here, thought Tony as he tugged at his shirt. He was given two fluffy, dark red towels to take into the baths with him, and the manservant bowed and mentioned that if Tony needed anything, only to call. He exited the room to allow Tony to undress after Tony waved him off doing that for him. He may have been a spoiled rich kid, but he could at least dress and undress himself, dammit.

Stripping, Tony left his clothes in a pile on the floor and wrapped one of the towels neatly around his waist, pulling the other around behind his neck and holding onto the ends as he walked into the bath proper. The manservant was waiting beside the door, and slipped back inside the adjoining chamber with another bow; probably to wait for any other late-comers.

And wow; ginormous was the only word that came to mind. It really was like stepping into Ancient Rome. [1] The only real difference was that the underlying color scheme here was all warm; creamy walls, golden draperies and what looked like a golden-yellow sandstone [2] floor instead of chalky white. The knowledge of a hovering manservant creeped Tony out a bit, but he let it slide and smirked faintly to himself for the irony of the phrase "when in Rome" coming to mind.

The water seemed to be golden-tinted clear and Tony suspected some magic as he put a toe in, smiling as it was pleasantly hot. He discarded the towel around his waist as he climbed in, situating the one around his neck like a pillow so he could lean his head back against the side of the bath as he submerged his body. The warmth permeated his sore muscles and swept past the sweat clogging his pores. Maybe he'd have to reconsider that indoor plumbing thing, if Asgard had huge public baths like this one going for it.

Not for the first time, Tony found himself wondering since the Norse deities had turned out to be based on reality, if there were other ones, too. Asgard was a planet, after all, but to Tony it had just looked like a big city on the waterfront. Had anyone ever explored beyond it? It didn't seem like anyone ever mentioned any Aesir living in the countryside, and to be honest the idea seemed a little off. But then where did they get their food? Tony knew now that the Golden Apples of Idunn were real, but there had to be something else. Or did the Asgardians just go hunting in other realms for meat and vegetables to bring back? Or maybe tributes, if Asgard was the 'capital city' of all the realms; like in Japan? That seemed possible.

Furthermore, were there Roman and Greek gods, too? Egyptian gods? Indian gods – that is, Hindu? Japanese ones? The list of creation legends was almost endless. Had humanity just had a lot of visits from the seemingly-immortal and god-like (hey, Tony could admit it) residents of this particular planet, or were only some of them real and some of them born purely from human imagination, or – what? It made his head turn over in curiosity, and Tony vowed at some point to propose an expedition to maybe see just what else was out there –

"You must be deep in thought, to let your guard down so completely." A voice whispered in his ear, low and deadly along with what felt like the business end of something small and sharp against his throat and Tony froze. His assailant slid into view from his peripheral vision, apparently having already entered the bath soundlessly while Tony had been distracted. But then, Tony's shoulders slumped in relief even as he glared.

"You know, it's not nice to sneak up on people. Not just in general, but especially in baths." Tony accused, and Loki had the gall to smirk up at him and flick the tip of the dagger so it pressed to his jugular, eyes threatening intent.

"Surely you know I've never been nice, Stark."

"That's not the – " Tony paused, brow knitting – this Loki seemed different than the one he'd spoken to, in the hall, but he couldn't put his finger on why. Tony considered him, for a moment. In fact, if he remembered correctly, the Loki now was giving him the same vibe from that night in the club, all those months ago.

Not that he'd known it was Loki back then.

Maybe the turn of his thoughts had shown on his face, because Loki's smirk grew as he leaned back, withdrawing the dagger's curved tip from Tony's throat and tilting his head femininely in a way that totally didn't make Tony's nether regions swell. He swallowed past it – probably not a good idea to jump the newly-returned Prince in the bath. It was public; anyone could walk in.

Clint could even be watching at this very moment, hidden somewhere in the shadows of the cavernous ceiling overhead.

That last thought was the one that did it, and Tony gave an easy smile to which Loki looked suitably affronted, his brows lifting high and one arching slightly.

"You're rebuffing my advances?" Loki stated casually, and Tony was a little distracted by the way he started to play that compact, wicked hilt between his fingers. He swallowed. Loki probably wouldn't castrate him here; too much blood to clean out of the filtration system, right?

"Uh, well." Tony started, keeping his voice low and trying to possibly save the situation – as well as himself some grievous injury. "You know, I brought some friends with me. And one of them is pretty good at hiding in high places. So." Loki seemed to consider that, before leaning back elegantly against the side of the bath next to him, elbows propped on the cylindrical stone edge.

"I suppose your reasoning has its merits." One eye watched him from the side, measuredly. Tony was trying very hard not to let his gaze drop to all that pale skin on display – and then he blinked, noticing something odd.

"Wait, are you – steaming? " Loki smiled lazily at him, angling his head slightly to show off his neck, a few strands of dark hair plastered there. Inanely, Tony noticed they were starting to curl in the humidity.

"I thought you had reconsidered my offer?" Tony frowned at him, scooting away a little so he could turn slightly to better face Loki. The water sloshed quietly as he did.

"Scientific question. Also, you acted like you didn't remember." Loki's eyes sharpened, and Tony noticed his steaming body (no, there was literal steam coming off of where Loki's body met the water, so fuck you, thank you very much) grow abruptly tense.

"We have talked since you came to Asgard?" Loki's voice was low, cutting, urgent and a little off-putting; it went straight to Tony's dick. Tony swallowed again, resisting the urge to cover up. Loki wasn't looking, anyway.

"Uh. Yeah? In the hallway." Tony squinted at him, watched as Loki's mouth flattened into a thin line.

"Stark." Loki began, his head turning to watch him intently. Those eyes were pale – and sorta green, Tony realized belatedly – and compelled him. Tony's chest began to tighten; that look couldn't mean anything good. Not that he was afraid, but if Loki was afraid then that meant probably a whole 'nother shitstorm was a-coming.

"What is it." Tony asked. His voice was very tense over the sound of the constant soft rush of the natural spring's hot water. Loki reached out a hand and put it to the nape of Tony's neck, pulling him in so he could speak against his ear. Tony's eyes widened at what he heard, and he started to reach for Loki, suddenly, feeling unsettled.

"Hey, what do you – Well shit." Loki was gone; nothing even giving a hint to his having been there.

(Well, aside from Tony's 'little problem', of course.)

[1] Like a combination of these (Insert dots where the spaces are.):

www old-picture com/europe/pictures/Circular-Abbey jpg

images travelpod com/tw_slides/ta00/c3c/91a/indoor-roman-bath-bath jpg

chadwicks ie/blog/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/ancient-roman-baths-england-1-100812-02 jpg

[2] cycleback files wordpress com/2013/04/07sandstone jpg

: : :

Morning came punishingly early and Tony loudly voiced his objections to the maid when she threw the curtains open; it was just past dawn, but that was still plenty of light to ruin Tony's beauty sleep. Amidst his protests, she returned with two guards who respectfully insisted he come with them; Odin waited, to give Tony his First Task. Now that gave him pause; reminded Tony of the deal they'd struck. So he grumbled, but still rolled out of bed, pulled on one of his fresh T-shirts and a pair of jeans.

The guards escort him through the halls and into what feels like the dungeon level. Tony looks around; he doesn't see any prisoners, but he's starting to wonder if he should've spent the night fixing the problems in the suit. He feels a little better when the guards take him to a door and about-face, bowing to him before turning to face each other and taking a step back, to either side of the door.

"The All-Father has explicitly Forbidden anyone to witness your Ordeal, Sir Tony Starkson." The first states.

"The All-Father awaits your presence beyond these doors." The second continues, and Tony could've rolled his eyes at all the melodrama.

"Yeah, yeah – real impressive job, there, guys; no seriously, 8 out of 10." Tony says sarcastically as he walks forward and pushes the doors open. They part, predictably dramatic, revealing a round spot of light which illuminates Odin as he stands there, looking just-as-predictably regal and somber. The king waves his hand once Tony is inside, and the doors close behind them. Despite the thickness of those heavy doors, Tony can still hear as the guards' spears chink together, and guesses they have barred the doorway by crossing their spears at the ends over it. Tony feels a pulse of unease, but ignores it in favor of not breaking his stride until he's standing before Odin.

In the almost-darkness of the room, Odin raises his hand. There is a light blue magic tingling in his fingertips, and Tony has only a moment before it coalesces and shoots forward – straight into his arc reactor.

The First Task.

Odin's voice booms , unwelcome, in his head, but it's just a flash before Tony's thrown to the ground. When he looks up, Howard's standing over him. Howard's face is in shadows, and Tony feels a cold emptiness in his chest. He gropes for it, and feels himself break out in a cold sweat when he realizes the arc reactor's gone. Howard's holding it, Tony can see now as Howard raises his hand, his father's face dark and disappointed as his gaze shifts to the glowing reactor in his palm.

"You copied me. You didn't earn this, yourself." Suddenly, Tony's ten again and scared; he reaches out for the arc reactor.

"Dad – " But Howard's mouth is in that grim, firm line it gets when there's no shifting him.

"You even used the element I discovered. Is anything of yours truly yours, Tony?" Howard's gaze shifts from the arc reactor down to Tony; belittling and contemptuous. "What have you done with your life?"

"I've built things!" Tony explodes, but his voice sounds small in the vacuum. "Just like you taught me! I made weapons to keep America safe, to help our soldiers overseas like you always said – "

"And it was your fault StarkTech was in the hands of those terrorists." Howard interrupts him without yelling; that calmly degrading tone is all he needs. "You made those weapons, you patented them, but you were so busy playing with your distractions that you didn't even think to check to see where Stane was selling them. You didn't bother to know where those precious weapons you had made ended up. You just kept playing with your cars and your weapons-grade ammunition and never lifted your head out of the smell of your expensive coffee. You thought your weapons toys, Tony, and that's what got you in this mess in the first place." Howard's fingers tighten on the arc reactor, and for a terrifying moment Tony thinks he's going to crush it in his palm. But Howard just looks down at him; always so tall, always disappointed, now bordering on disgust.

"It's time to stop playing with toys. You're no longer a child. Grow up and be a man."

"I'm a better man that you were!" Tony explodes, hurt and anger coloring his voice as he struggles to stand against Howard's accusations, trying to ignore the clock in his head that tells him just how little time he has left before the charge leaves the electromagnet and the shrapnel starts crawling inexorably towards his heart. Howard looks surprised, for a moment, and Tony takes his chance and runs with it.

"You never had anything to live up to – you started it all, Dad! You set up the expectations and it was my job to keep the company going after you died. I did! I'm not saying I did it the 'right way' and I'm not saying I didn't make mistakes, but that's a hell of a lot of pressure to put on a 17-year-old kid [3] who thought he had at least another ten or fifteen years to screw up before needing to take up that mantle! So what if I didn't do it the way you would've done it? You weren't there – you and Mom died and so what if you disapprove of my life choices now because you know what? You weren't there and I took charge of the company in a few months and I did good! And when I found out about what Obie had done, I fixed it! I made the Iron Man suit and took out the StarkTech that the Ten Rings had and became a superhero just like your precious Captain America! We work together, now, Dad, and guess what? It's not you who's Steve's equal! It's me! Because maybe, yeah, you were right that he was a decent guy but do you know why he's better than you? He has a heart – he's a soldier but he always tries to do the right thing, and that's more than I can say for you when you always cheated on Mom!"

The words ring in the air and Howard looks shocked. Tony braces himself for the berating to come – Howard never laid a hand on him, whether in anger or pride. No, Howard used his words to bring Tony down, with so many hooks laid into his skin that eventually all Howard had to do was tug and Tony would let himself be pulled along; like a marionette. Tony had done that for so many years, constantly striving to get Howard's attention, Howard's approval, but his father was always focused on other things; big projects, searching for Captain America and the Tesseract – anything but his family.

So, heart racing, Tony feels a little justified in his explosion. It's been a long time coming.

Howard's still staring at him, shocked, and belatedly Tony remembers his arc reactor's missing.

The moment he does, the scene fades and the emptiness in his chest goes away. Tony immediately looks down, putting a hand over the light of the arc reactor humming pleasantly in his chest as though to assure himself it's really there.

There is a quiet clang of metal on stone, and Tony glances up, remembering Odin. The king is staring at him, spear in hand and resting on the ground (it must have been what made that sound). His expression is implacable, but for a moment Tony thinks he sees a flicker of understanding in that solitary eye.

"What the hell was that." Tony breathes, feeling the adrenaline and frustration from a moment ago still built up in his bloodstream. He didn't even remember the Tasks – that it was a Task – until Odin brought him back. It's chilling to think someone can manipulate his mind like that. Odin stares at him, measuredly, for a few more moments.

"Your First Task." He states the obvious, and Tony scowls at him.

"That's not – " Odin continues, talking right over him like he's nothing more than an insect.

"I used my magic to bring out an instance in your past where you had an unresolved conflict." Tony is starting to feel uneasy in addition to annoyed, now.

"So, for shits and giggles? What gave you the right to enter my head?" Odin's expression turns stony and coldly irritated.

"It was necessary." Tony scoffs at him, feeling thoroughly violated and so he verbally lashes out.

"Necessary my ass. Did you just want to see me rail at my old man like I never did while he was alive? Get the great Tony Stark upset? Or was that all you, trying to come to terms with the fact one of your sons would rather fake his own death than see you again?" Odin's eye flashes, and his spear starts to glow; Tony guesses it's supposed to be threatening. Nonetheless, he smirks straight in the face of the pissed-off god-like king, standing up to his full height; despite the fact that Odin's taller. "Or were you just hoping that Loki gave enough of a shit that maybe, just maybe, he'd want to talk it all out with you someday when everyone's lives aren't threatened with some Big Bad Wolf of the Cosmos knocking on all of our little piggy doors?" Tony's not afraid, and maybe that shows, because Odin pauses, and seems to assess him, before turning away from him.

"Your past shares many similarities with Loki's, as my late Queen had observed and spoke of to me, before her death." Minutely, Odin's shoulders seem to shrink with remembered grief and Tony almost feels bad for him. "I had not anticipated such an altercation being something that still affected you as an adult. I was not aware what memory the emotion was attached to until it had been called forth." It's not an apology, but it's close. Tony wonders if Odin really is making an effort to see Midgardians as equal allies, despite their differences. Odin pauses, again. "Perhaps I have underestimated the effect I have on my sons, as well." Odin glances back over his shoulder towards him, but Tony can't read anything in his face.

"Your Ordeal for today is concluded. A servant shall fetch you, tomorrow, for the Second Task." Tony frowns at him, but doesn't have a chance to say anything as Odin disappears, walking into the darkness of the room. The circle of light from above winks out, and the doors behind him open as if on cue, the sound of the guard's spearheads sliding off each other making Tony turn to face the expanse of golden hallways, once again.

God, but this family is so fucked up. He can't help but think, as he's escorted back to his quarters (so he doesn't get lost, probably). Sure, he and Maria and Howard didn't have it perfect, but there was none of this 'adoption' nonsense and drama. Yeah, Howard was a shitty dad, but that's sort of just who he was; arrogant and self-centered. Tony's pretty sure he's inherited those traits in droves. If he found out he wasn't Howard's son, it wouldn't change anything – maybe Loki discovering it had just been bad timing?

Who knows, maybe Odin would let himself learn something from another bad father. After all, it still isn't too late for Loki to make amends with his family. Frigga may be dead, but Thor and Odin are still around to care and worry about him. That's more than Tony had, being an only child. Sure, there had been Jarvis, but no siblings to speak of. DUM-E was probably the closest thing Tony had to an annoyingly inept little brother, actually.

And maybe that was sort of sad, but Tony didn't mind. Not really.

…Although he does wonder, sometimes, what having a brother would've been like. Would they fight, like Loki and Thor do? Would they get along? Would they have made an unstoppable designing and engineering team, or would they have constantly tried to out-do one another? The more Tony lets himself think on it – on the what-ifs – he wonders if they would've both just been screwed. Would a different Stark son have lessened Howard's expectations of him? Or would there have just been a favorite, with the other always lagging behind. Tony wants to believe he'd be the brother in the lead, but he's seen where that's landed Thor and still isn't sure if that's the right way to go.

And what if he was Loki? What if he was never good enough, ever, and Howard just completely ignored him and encouraged the son who would've 'got it done, and done right'. Then Tony would've felt even more inept.

Maybe it's better that it's too late, now, anyway. These thoughts are just the lingering regrets of a childish, pointless, years-old wish for a playmate; someone who could keep up with him.

It's probably just as well. Another kid wouldn't've changed Howard's flaws, after all – they were too engrained (cheating, drinking, neglect, verbal abuse; the list goes on). And Tony doesn't think he has it in him to wish his childhood on someone else; double the misery, double the issues, double the trouble. And not in a good way.

But it takes Tony more effort than it should, to firmly shelve these thoughts.

There are more important things to worry about – like that intergalactic conference coming up. The delegates start arriving today, and some arrived before he and Thor and Clint got here. The names of the realms are in another language, but that'd be nothing to Tony, who's dabbled enough in a few of them (French, German, Japanese) to at least be able to lock away unfamiliar-sounding words in his head – if he puts in the effort to, that is.

There's Asgard, of course, and Earth, 'Midgard'. That's two. Thor was always going on about the 'Nine Realms', so there've gotta be seven more. Tony wonders, for the first time, how diverse the universe really is. Given that Odin and Thor and Loki look human enough (just taller and, in the former two's case, beefier), Tony really hopes his alien race expectations à la Star Wars, Star Trek, Babylon 5, Andromeda, Stargate SG-1 and Futurama aren't going to be disappointed.

(His Chitauri nightmares don't count; this is going to be civilized interaction, not all-out war.)

Where's the fun in travelling to another planet to have a conference with aliens about the fate of the universe if they all look like Grade-A white assholes, after all?

…Maybe he should ask Loki for a crash-course in the universe's geography. Or maybe Thor – yeah, Thor is probably safer, especially after what Loki whispered to Tony in the bath. But then again, Thor doesn't really strike Tony as the type to remember all the political nuances of the different realms.

Maybe there's a library around here, where Tony can find a book?

Ormaybe, just maybe, this is the perfect chance to test the StarkPad he brought, and see if he can wrangle himself a wireless internet signal. Pepper has, he realizes guiltily, probably worried herself sick about not hearing from him. Well. The least Tony can do is try, and see if his StarkPhone (especially adapted for this trip) can connect with Earth's communications network.

Well, nothing to do but give it a whirl. He's got a few hours to kill before some other realm's delegation arrives just in time for the midday meal. Briefly, he wonders why there aren't feasts to honor these guests. When he and Clint had arrived there'd not been much fanfare, but then they hadn't exactly been all decked out in their finest. Maybe it'll be at the end of the week, when everyone has arrived? He thinks Thor mentioned some huge feast to kick off around then, to celebrate the spirit of cooperation and the official start of the conference. Or something like that.

Yeah, that could be it; Odin giving them time to adjust to Asgard and for all the delegations from other planets to arrive, before throwing them all together into a major social event. As far as Tony knows (unless Earth's governments deserve more credit than he's giving them), no one from these other planets have ever seen a human, before, because Tony certainly doesn't know what they'd look like (he honestly didn't buy into all that UFO crap, even though the testimonies had been entertaining). Tack that onto humans probably being one of the physically weaker species out there (hey, Tony can admit it), and Odin figuring it's a better idea to present their new 'allies' in the most ostentatious way possible.

Still, it's oddly considerate of him. Maybe the King of Assholes really is making an effort, here.

Well, they do have a deal going on, so Tony figures it makes sense; honor, and all that.

Once at his room, Tony impulsively asks his guide if she can wait. He runs inside and grabs the smaller bag housing his StarkDevices, then asks her if there's a library where he can read about the other realms. She listens obligingly to the request, then merely nods, and turns, gesturing politely.

"This way, Sir Starkson." She starts off, and Tony tries not to groan as he falls into step behind her.

"C'mon, it's just Tony!"

[3] For this fic (because the MCU timeline is all sorts of screwy), we're going to say that Tony was born in 1970, and that Howard was born in 1922. This puts Tony at 21 when his parents die in 1991, and Howard at 69 when he dies. Also, this puts Howard at 23 years old in 1945 when WWII ends, and Tony at 3 years old [4] when Howard is 51 and makes that film on September 15, 1973 that we see on the old reel from SHIELD in Iron Man 2011. This means that Howard was 48 when Tony was born. It is still 1991 when (in Iron Man 2008) we learn that Tony, still 21, takes the CEO position in Stark Industries away from Obadiah Stane.

Stane really had only a few months of running Stark Industries before Tony stepped up to take the reins after dealing with the shit of his parents suddenly dying. This adjustment also has the happy coincidence of making Stane more motivated to want to off Tony, if not for Tony being the Golden Goose. Stane had a taste of complete power as essentially a regent-like figure, only to have it taken away. I can just see Stane trying to convince Tony to take more time to grieve, and Tony knowing he needs to do something otherwise he'll start doing self-destructing behavior to deal with it and he doesn't want to live at the bottom of a bottle like his dad.

In May 2015, Tony turns 45. OK? All good? Whew!

[4] I know he looks older in the movie version of that old clip (where Howard tells him to 'put that back where you found it'), but please bear with me; the MCU's timeline for Tony is a nightmare of inconsistencies. Also Tony acts younger and doesn't talk, in that old film, so I'm gonna call creative license here, for my sanity.