A/N: This chapter goes to my dear friend Eccacia, because she pointed out that there were a few things she wanted to know about. So here you go, hope you like it :)

Once again, let me thank you all for the kind words and continuing support! This story wouldn't exist without you guys :D

I know you all want them to kiss already, but some unresolved things have to be faced first. But it's coming ;)

I don't own anything :)

Chapter 14. All I Want

"So you brought out the best of me,
A part of me I've never seen.
You took my soul and wiped it clean.
Our love was made for movie screens.

But if you loved me
Why'd you leave me?
Take my body,
Take my body.
All I want is,
And all I need is
To find somebody.
I'll find somebody."

"All I Want – Kodaline"

"Cait, I swear if you don't learn to actually finish a whole pizza alone, I'm going to revoke that engagement of ours!"

They were sitting on the kitchen floor in their brand new apartment, backs against the wall, and had decided to order some pizza for their first night there. Ronnie had successfully eaten his pizza while Caitlin had barely managed to get two third of it down her stomach.

"I tried, but they just make them so huge..." Caitlin began to defend herself with a whining edge in her voice, though a smile was threatening to curl her lips up at any moment.

Ronnie faked a huff of annoyance. "Fine, I guess I'll just have to eat the rest of it myself."

Caitlin had to laugh at his pretended surrender. Softly biting her lower lip, she pushed her pizza towards him, plucking out the last piece of red pepper on it, knowing that he didn't like them.

"See? That's why I'm marrying you!" Ronnie explained proudly. "You never finish your pizza and you eat the vegetables I don't like."

"Well I'm glad to be of use." Caitlin snorted with a roll of her eyes. "And you have to make up your mind, honey. Two seconds ago you were telling me that me not finishing my pizza could very well be a deal breaker." She teased with a raised eyebrow.

Her fiancé just shrugged with a small pout and Caitlin let her hand wander to his hair to play with it as he took a bite of her pizza.

While he ate, she let her eyes take in the room they were in. It was pretty much empty, except for the new fridge and the kitchen sink, but she could already see herself building a life there. Well, she was certain she could see herself building a life anywhere as long as she had Ronnie by her side.

She glanced at her fiancé and he gave her a toothy grin, making her chuckle in the process. She was happy like she hadn't been in a long time.

For a few years, she had wondered if Central City was truly holding something more for her. She knew she was one of those people who didn't absolutely need a significant other or love to be happy. She had always been her own person, finding huge satisfaction in knowledge and science. But it didn't mean she didn't want to have someone to share her life with.

After Barry, her dating life had been sporadic and messy. There had been a few guys here and there over the years, but nothing serious. She had always considered her studies and her work as a priority over her love life. She also didn't want a repeat of the heartache that had followed Her and Barry's breakup. That was until Ronnie came along and swept her off her feet.

His effect on her had taken her completely by surprise. He was nothing like the guys she usually went for, but maybe that was the point. He made her smile without trying to, he made her discover different things like Thai food and water sports (watching them, not doing them, she wasn't quite there yet).

He had managed to take her out of her shell just after losing her father and she'd be eternally grateful for that.

"What are you thinking about, pretty girl?" Ronnie asked just before taking another bite of pizza.

She gave him a sweet smile before answering, fingers still playing with the air at the back of his neck. "Life, in general."

Ronnie swallowed his mouthful of pizza and a slight frown settled in between his eyebrows. "What's bringing on those deep thoughts?"

Caitlin simply shrugged. "This," she showed the empty kitchen around them with her hand. "Commitment used to freak me out a bit. But I'm not afraid anymore of what is waiting for us in the future. As long as you're here with me."

"You sure you're okay?" He asked worriedly.

She rolled her eyes at his pointless concern. "I'm perfectly fine. That's precisely my point. I'm happy, Ronnie."

His frown disappeared, replaced by a beaming smile that made her heart flutter. "Well, I'm happy too. Especially since I got to eat almost half of your pizza."

A laugh burst out of Caitlin's mouth and she playfully swatted him on the chest. Ronnie often found the best way to get rid of unnecessary tension, even if it was a good one, was to make a joke. She knew he wasn't making light of her confession. Humour was just his way of accepting it and replying. She knew him well enough to not be offended but touched by his comment.

She slightly turned to the side to face him, grabbing a napkin to swipe some tomato sauce off the corner of his mouth. "You know I love you, right?" She whispered, looking straight into his eyes.

Ronnie's smile changed into a more serious one, but a smile nonetheless. "I do know that, Dr Snow." He replied in a low whisper making goosebumps appear all along her skin. "That's why I'm going to marry you."

She still couldn't quite believe every word he had just uttered. Dr Snow… Marry… How had she gotten so lucky?

"Soon?" She instantly inquired. She didn't want to sound needy, but she itched to call herself completely his, for some reason.

"As soon as you want." Ronnie grinned again, her neediness acting as some kind of ego booster for him.

"Soon." She answered matter-of-factly.

With a goofy grin, Ronnie leaned forward and kissed her, putting her mind at ease. He hadn't any plan of leaving her anytime soon. And she wasn't scared of that fact at all.

As he pulled back, his hand went to grab the last slice of pizza. "You sure you don't want one last bite?"

Caitlin shook her head while a small chuckle bubbled up. "No, I'm good."

"Your loss." He teased with a shrug.

She rolled her eyes, her teeth worrying her lower lip as she watched him swallow the rest of her food. They fell silent for a couple of minutes, but they never were uncomfortable around each other.

Once finished with eating, Ronnie pushed the take-out cardboard away from them and let out a content sigh while rubbing his belly. "So, I was thinking…" He trailed off.

She carefully leaned against him. "Hum… Do tell."

He seemed to consider his words for a moment. "When are you going to bring me to Ryker Neve?"

"Oh…" Caitlin stopped and pulled back, slightly tensing up at his question. "I don't know… soon-ish?" She answered unsure of herself, looking questioningly at her fiancé. She didn't want to disappoint him.

Ronnie shook his head, letting a small puff of air go free. "I don't get it, why won't you bring me to your home town?"

"It's not that I don't want to." Caitlin turned to the side to completely face him, trying to find the right words to explain why she had never brought him to her hometown until now. "It's just that I moved on from that life. I don't really feel the need to go there. Mom and Charlie are what matter and you already know them, they come here all the time."

"Still," he insisted, "I'm curious to see where you grew up."

Her soaring heart brought a shy smile to her lips. "That's sweet."

"I'm serious, Cait."

Her smile fell down a bit, her shoulders slumping slightly, her eyes falling to her hands. "It's just that ever since my father died, that place kind of lost its magic…" She whispered, knowing he wouldn't have any hard time understanding her words.

"And I get that." He replied in a soothing voice. He knew how much losing her father had turned her world upside down. "But that town is still a huge part of you that you can't ignore."

If she worried her lower lip any longer, she'd sure draw blood. She licked away the hurt spot and slowly nodded. "You're right. We'll go there for our next holidays if you'd like."

"Cool." Ronnie's lips stretched into a wide smile. "Thanks, it means a lot."

After cleaning up what was left of their dinner in their almost empty kitchen, they made their way to their new bedroom where a single mattress was lying on the ground. While Ronnie enumerated the things they could do tonight in their brand new and empty apartment, Caitlin listened with one ear while the rest of her brain thought about what she had just promised him.

She wanted to show him where she had grown up, the places that had turned her into who she was now, the streets she new like the back of her hand, the shops she used to go with her parents… She knew she'd have a blast showing him around.

She just didn't want the painful memories to come back.

He shuffled back and forth in front of the Ryker Neve's police station, wringing his fingers with his shirt.

What were the words again?

'I know I was a jerk but please give me a second chance? Can you see yourself giving that handsome man – me in case you didn't get it – a second chance? That break you talked about, what's the expiry date? Who's got two thumbs and wants you back? This guy!'

He shook his head in despair. None of those were what he had planned to say. He had repeated his monologue in front of the mirror at least a dozen times today and now he couldn't seem to remember a single word of it. He had never been great with words, but he was pretty sure it was getting worse with time.

Maybe he should come back tomorrow and rehearse some more?

Barry was about to turn around when the blonde woman he had come to talk to, stepped out of the building, instantly spotting him standing there like a lost puppy.

She paused for a moment, considering her next move, before readjusting her handbag on her shoulder and moving towards him. Barry took a deep breath and tried to calm himself down as he watched Patty approach him.

"Barry." She greeted as soon as he was within earshot. She didn't seem mad, she sounded calm and collected.

"Hi." He croaked in response and wanted to hit himself for not being able to speak clearly like her. "Can we... Can we talk?"

"Sure," she nodded with a soft smile, "where do you want to go?"

"Iris' café?" He suggested, knowing she loved that place. Plus it wasn't really far from the police station.

In silence, they headed towards the coffee place. The air between them was a bit tense. Patty wasn't talking because she knew he was the one supposed to speak up his mind about what was going on between them, while Barry had no idea where to start. He hoped words would come to him as soon as they'd be seated in the café or things would turn awkward really quickly.

Caitlin had helped him with his speech to convince Patty to give them a second chance. They had sat down on the bench on Caitlin's porch, just after coming back from their beach holidays, with some iced tea and cookies, and had put their two brilliant minds together to create the perfect speech.

It had really been useful to have a woman's point of view on the whole story – even if said woman was his ex-girlfriend. They had worked on it hard, Caitlin had even written down a framework from an introduction until a perfect conclusion. Barry had laughed at her for her nerdy habits and she had just shot back that it would probably save his butt.

But now, two days later, a crumpled piece of paper in his pants' back pocket, many rehearsals with Caitlin playing Patty's role in the past couple of days, a cup of coffee in front of him, not a single word in his mind and he wished he had Caitlin by his side to prompt him.

Patty waited patiently for him to say something, blowing on her coffee for it to cool down, not at all disturbed by his fidgety behaviour.

"So… hum… I've been thinking…" Barry began with a stuttering voice and cursed himself for being so bad with words when he really needed to communicate.

"Well that's a good start, thinking…" Patty gently teased him, trying to put him more at ease in the moment.

A nervous chuckle instantly escaped Barry's lips and it managed to release some of the tension weighting him down. His right hand went to his hair to mess with it, before going to his lap and trying to get rid of the nervous sweat gathering in its palm.

"Relax Barry, it's just me." Patty said soothingly and he replied with a grateful smile.

He inhaled slowly before trying again. "I'm sorry… For how… for how I treated you… how… how I'm the reason our relationship fell apart, how… how I didn't fight more." He shook his head and Patty let him talk, knowing that if she interrupted him, he would have a hard time continuing. "You deserve more and I'm ready to try being a better boyfriend…"

"Barry…" She started.

He raised his hand to stop her. "No, let me finish. I want us to give this – us – another shot because… because we owe it to each other to at least try. We were together for almost three years, we can't throw it away like that."

"Sure we can." Patty shrugged, appearing detached.

Barry's eyes crinkled as he slowly shook his head. "You don't mean that, you're just angry at me because I've been acting weird and distant and for being a jerk, but I can change." He insisted, keeping a steady smile on his lips, even though her words had worked like a punch in the face

"I'm sure you can change." She nodded.

His lips curled up into a wider smile. "See? So let's try this again."

"No Barry…" Patty shook her head, her voice weak but clear. "I'm sure you can change but the way you feel about her won't."

"Wh… What?" He frowned at her words, suddenly losing track of their conversation.

A humourless chuckle tumbled down her lips. "Don't play dumb, you know perfectly who I'm talking about. You've been in love with Caitlin ever since high school and even though you think you stopped, you didn't."

"That's not true." He squealed while shaking his head.

"Keep denying it all you want, Barry." Her fingers went to draw random patterns on her coffee cup while her eyes searched his face for some kind of agreement. When she found none, she sighed, not wanting to fight about that precise subject. "But one day it's going to hit you right in the face and then you're going to see it."

Guilt crept up his belly and clogged his throat. Because Barry knew Patty was right. His feelings for the young doctor had appeared back out of nowhere. He had been convinced he had moved on from her, but maybe the lack of closure when she had left – both times – left him empty and at loss when trying to change how he felt about her. Those years without Caitlin had been different from everything he had known before, and the empty space in his heart had been covered under change and loss and adjustment. He never thought that hole was there because Caitlin wasn't.

What was the point of salvaging his relationship with Patty when he knew she wouldn't be able to cover up that hole – when even she knew it?

"Anyway," Patty suddenly shrugged, a hand chasing away the tears gathering up in her eyes, "I'm leaving."

"You're what now?" He asked, not believing what he was hearing.

She took a deep breath. "I'm leaving Ryker Neve."

"Why?" He spurted out as if it was the most absurd thing he had ever heard.

"I always wanted to work in a bigger city, have more responsibilities as a cop. Maybe even try a more scientific side of the job." She calmly explained with a light shrug. "And I think it's time for me to move on."

Barry leaned slightly over the table to move closer, as if believing his ears were playing a mean trick on him. "Move on?" He repeated. "From this town?"

Patty shook her head and sent an apologetic look his way. "From everything." She whispered

He instantly pulled his head back, jaw dropping and eyes widening. "Oh."

Was this all a bad dream? Was he about to wake up in a cold sweat and realise everything that had happened in the past few weeks was just a dream? Had Caitlin even come back into town? Had he really ruined his relationship with Patty? How could things change tracks so fast?

Life worked in a strange way. Sometimes nothing special happened for a few months, years even. And sometimes everything happened at once and you couldn't do anything to stop it. He felt like being on a skateboard, going down a huge hill and not knowing how to brake and slow down. He was sent into free falling. Waiting to hit the brick wall at the end.

"I'm sorry, Barry." Patty apologised with so much sincerity that his heart squeezed.

"Don't…" He raised a hand to stop her. "Don't apologise, it's my fault…"

She nodded and they fell silent, not sure what to say next. Gradually, he could feel their relationship slip through his fingers, leaving great memories behind. It settled in his soul and he knew he wouldn't ever wake up next to her again. The fact he had never felt such finality with Caitlin punched him right in the guts and he felt almost out of breath.

"You should tell her how you feel." Patty suddenly said.

"I…" He started, wondering if his realisation was plastered on his features. "She's a friend…" He tried to convince Patty and himself.

"Barry…" She warned.

"It's honestly not like that…" He tried to defend himself but the look she gave him let him know she wasn't buying any of his words. "At least I don't think so." He shrugged. "Anyway, she's not in the right place to jump into a new relationship."

"Oh, so you've thought about it." Patty slowly pointed out.

Her comment left him speechless for a moment. He stared at her, trying to decipher if she was joking or if she was really meaning her words. But Patty stayed as serious as before, cocking her head slightly to the side while waiting for his reply.

Barry cleared his throat before finally answering. "Hum… I'm not sure I feel comfortable talking about that with you." He shook his head, eyes going round. "How can you?"

"I've accepted it… We've had some great times together. But I'm afraid we weren't meant to be." She took her last gulp of coffee before standing up and gathering her bag. "Goodbye Barry." She said, before heading towards the door.

"Goodbye." He replied in a whisper, his eyes falling to his cup of now cold coffee. He didn't think he had ever felt so little in control over his life.

"Hey, Barry!" Patty called out one last time.

He curiously looked up. "Yeah?"

"Maybe she's not ready to jump into a new relationship. But what about rebuilding an old one? You mean a lot to her, don't let her slip away like you did before." With one last smile, Patty turned around and left.

Barry just stared at his now ex-girlfriend leave the coffee shop, mouth agape, round eyes and dumbfound expression on his soft features. Patty would never cease to amaze him. She was kind and funny, loving and passionate, and just pushed him to go get his ex-girlfriend – the other one.

He found himself wondering about the weird ways the heart was working. Why hadn't he been able to move past his relationship with Caitlin and dived completely in the one with Patty? So many people had told him the blonde cop was made for him – but those people obviously didn't know Caitlin Snow.

He shook his head to chase that last comment away from his mind. The name Caitlin was creeping up out of nowhere every time he thought about his life. Hell, every time he thought about anything. She had made her way back into his brain and heart in the blink of an eye – he had had no control over it whatsoever.

A girly laugh caught Barry's attention and he looked out the window to see where it came from. There, on the street a few feet away from the café, were Caitlin and Lily talking to Patty.

The sight made his heart still in his chest as he observed how Lily chatted up the blonde woman with a cheery voice while Caitlin looked curiously, lower lip trapped between her teeth but a smile present nonetheless. Patty was listening intently at what the little girl had to say.

When Lily was done talking, Caitlin sent the little girl inside the coffee shop to join her mother that was in her office. Barry waved at the little girl as she ran past him with a wide grin, before his eyes travelled back towards his two ex-girlfriends now talking outside.

How he wished he had super-hearing so he could have a clue of what their exchange was.

They didn't seem to be hostile towards one another, their lips curled up into smiles, their stances opened for a friendly conversation, heads nodding and hands moving.

After a couple of minutes, Caitlin opened her arms wide and Patty didn't hesitate a second to accept her hug. It was short but Barry's heart still soared at the sight. He had no idea what was going on, but he was glad both women didn't claw at each other's throat.

The two women said goodbye and while Patty walked away from the café, Caitlin stepped inside, a deep-in-thoughts look in her eyes. She didn't take long to spot where he was sitting and she instantly made her way towards him. Her brows were crinkled, her teeth were worrying her lower lip and her eyes seemed to be searching some kind of answer in front of her.

Without a word, she took the seat Patty had been occupying a few minutes ago.

"Patty's leaving?" Caitlin suddenly asked, her hazel-brown eyes trying to read his features before settling on the beaming smile Barry was sending her way.

"Well, hello to you too, Dr Snow." He cheered, not really in the mood to talk about Patty.

It didn't take a genius to understand that his smile was simply a protective wall.

"Barry…" She trailed off in a warning tone, her eyes squinting at him. "Don't joke about this, I know you don't mean it."

He was about to reply that everything was fine, but Caitlin just squinted harder.

"What happened?" She asked in a disbelieving tone. "What about the things I told you to tell her? How could you mess up winning her back with how we worked on it? I knew you weren't the greatest with women, but you're worse than I thought."

The young man choked on the sip of cold coffee he was taking. He pouted at her before shaking his head with a little smirk on his lips. "You say the sweetest things to me, snowflake."

"Barry!" She protested, completely ignoring the jump her heart made at the new nickname.

His smile instantly fell down, accompanied by his protective walls. Putting his cup back on the table, his shoulders sagged down and his eyes fled the young doctor. "I don't know, okay? I messed it up!"

I didn't want to save that relationship, because I want you!

"You promised you'd try!" She almost whined.

"And I did!" He retorted with a firmer voice. "Cait, I know you mean well, but things happen… It's the way it's supposed to be. I tried. It didn't work. I'm okay with it."

A doubtful brow wandered up her forehead. "Are you sure?"

His lips curled up into a sweet smile and nodded. "Yes, I am."

"Really?" Caitlin insisted.

"Can you please drop it, snowy?" He begged her and she had to let a small huff before agreeing. "Want some coffee?" He asked to change subjects.

A sweet smile instantly appeared on her lips. "Always."