AN: Thanks again dear readers and those who have responded with a review. It helps me keep writing. This felt more like a filler chapter as I just couldn't wait to get our couple in the same location again. Now if we could get longer beats of story on our screens too! Again, I encourage others to tell their own Kevin and Laura stories!

The Letter

Chapter 4

Something was wrong. I woke up with an unmistakable and familiar feeling of dread. I could feel it deep in my bones and no matter how much I tried to stay focused on the joy of upcoming events, I couldn't shake it.

Perhaps it had something to do with the tone in Kevin's voice when I called him again one more time late last night, knowing he would still be awake, but upset that I was given the difference in our time zones. I had been glad to talk to Lulu but didn't really have much time to talk to Kevin during my phone call at his office and knew we wouldn't be able to communicate during his six hour flight from JFK to Heathrow. We didn't talk long, just a few moments for him to admonish me for still being awake, and for me to thank him again for coming all the way to London to see me.

"Laura, don't you know by now, that I would do anything for you?"

His sincerity was real and it overwhelmed me. The power of his friendship scared me sometimes, and so did my ever growing feelings for him.

"What's wrong, Kevin. And don't tell me nothing; I can hear it in your voice."

"I just miss you and can't wait to see you in person."

"Are you sure it isn't something else?"

"Okay, I wasn't going to bring this up tonight…with it being so late…but something did happen but I want to talk about it in person. I don't want to alarm you over the phone. I also want to be honest with you about everything, Laura. No more secrets. No more lies. And certainly no more lies of omission."

He used my words in response to me. I had said that to Kevin as a reason for my anger about the book he was writing about me. And yet, I had done the same thing for years. The weight of that burden still surrounded me to this day. How many times had I considered telling Luke about my first born son and the life altering decision I had made by abandoning him on the island. Then the fear would envelope me and I would just daydream about what he would look like and if he would ever remember me.

I had tried to remain angry at Kevin at first but after receiving his letter it was difficult to maintain my distance. Perhaps his actions were just an excuse…an excuse to wall myself off and not allow myself to feel happiness, hope, and joy.

Reluctantly I had said good night to Kevin, leaving him to promise to tell me in person what had happened that clearly had him rattled.

"Laura, are you coming with me for breakfast?"

My mother's voice took me out of my reverie and I realized that it was getting late and I was not even ready for the day yet.

"You go on ahead. I was lost in my thoughts for today and besides, Kevin said he would call again once he was at his gate waiting to board his flight."

He had taken the train to New York City late last night and spent the night at a hotel due to the 5 a.m. flight time at JFK. I made him promise to call me while he waited at his gate and was expecting his call soon.

"Well, don't you worry about your mother today, dear. After breakfast I have that hair appointment and then Bridge after lunch. Have I told you how wonderful this has been to have you here with me over the last week?"

"I've enjoyed spending time with you, mom. I'm really looking forward to seeing Lucky and Spencer in a few days. It will be so nice for us to have some real family time."

My mother, never one to miss anything, noticed my sadness and fear.

"What's wrong, honey? I thought you would be in better spirits today, what with Dr. Collins being here by this evening. You seem so preoccupied."

"Kevin admitted that something was wrong but he didn't want to tell me about it until he was here in person. I don't know, mom, I just woke up with that same feeling of dread…that I've experienced before. Feeling like others are intruding on my happiness…our happiness."

My mother reached up and moved my hair out of my face and moved her hand across my cheek. I leaned in to hold her. She was unsteady on her feet and almost always used her walker when making her way throughout the building. Spending so much time with her lately brought back the nightmares. Things I wanted to forget to instead focus on the here-and-now. She had helped me sort out my feelings for Kevin and told me that I owed him another chance as it was obvious he cared about me and was a good friend.

"I remember this same feeling that day in Athens when I had tried to make my way back to the island to check on Nicholas. Luke and I were in separate places, waiting to reconnect again in Cairo. I had it all planned out. I remember how excited I was that I was going to finally see my son and make sure he was okay again. I never made it out of the airport in Greece because I had been called to the phone for an emergency."

"Laura, stop this. We don't need to talk about this again. It's over. We can't change the past. We can't go back and get all those missing years back. Personally, I want to stay focused on today…and tomorrow. In just two days I will have my family surrounding me. My grandson will bring my great-grandson to visit and we can show Dr. Collins how much fun we can have as a family."

My mother's unfailing optimism continued to amaze me. Despite all she had been through, she remained positive.

"You are right, mother. I guess I'm just anxious to keep this day moving. I miss Kevin and will be glad when he is here with us."

As the phone rang and I moved to answer, I saw my mother wave her goodbye and head out the door for the day.

"Kevin, is that you?"

"Hello to you too!"

"I bet you are exhausted. Did you get any sleep last night at all?"

"There will be time for sleep on my next flight. How are you this morning?"

"Unsettled by what you didn't tell me last night."

"Well, I really wanted to wait until I was there in person but I also want to take advantage of my long flight."

Kevin proceeded to explain how he had received my records and also explained that he did not want to violate my trust by looking at them without my permission. I was moved by his restraint and encouraged him to use the flight to figure out why someone would send him clinical information from my previous mental health treatments. None of this was making any sense and I continued to feel like it was just another way for Helena to manipulate me from beyond the grave. She knew that memories of that fragile time in my life would be painful and frightening.

"Laura, we will figure this out together. I will be there soon. I think we are about to start boarding."

As I hung up the phone I knew that Kevin couldn't get here soon enough.

The record was a mess with reports clearly missing and information that did not make sense. Health and physical, medication trials, research about the use of LS49 in patients, progress notes documenting Laura's lack of response, and on and on it went. It was a puzzle in itself to figure out the timeline of Laura's illness and how she had managed to recover from her catatonic state not only one time but several times. Even more interesting was why someone would have her record and why they would send it to me. After spending the first three hours of my flight meticulously reading the records and trying to sort out the clues, I decided to put it aside and rest my eyes. My head was hurting and I knew I needed some rest so that I would have some energy left when I arrived in London.

I must have been more tired than I thought because I woke to the stewardess tapping my arm and telling me to put my tray table up and bring my seat to the upright position. I stuffed the loose papers back in the file and prepared for landing. There had to be a connection with the previous clues of "Heartbreak Hotel" and the Campus Disco and I was more determined than ever to help Laura unravel this mystery.

I could still feel the pounding of my heart beat in the stillness of the hotel room. Kevin was asleep as the city vibrated around us. This time our joining had been hurried and eager…almost as if we knew we needed to cling to each other and not let go. The frailty of our connection was tenuous and fragile and one that needed captured in the moment.

I had told myself that I wouldn't rush into a physical relationship with Kevin again but when I saw him walking towards me from his gate, I couldn't wait to feel his arms around me. We held each other for such a long time. And then he put his hands on my face and looked into my eyes.

I knew then that we weren't going to make it to dinner with my mother and she would somehow understand. We barely made it to Kevin's hotel room while I phoned to make our apologies, using Kevin's jet lag as an excuse to pass on dinner. We would have plenty of family time in the next few days…now was time for us.

We touched and snuck kisses in the back of the taxi to the hotel as if we were teenagers or newlyweds on their honeymoon.

Kevin tried to talk about the file he received but I didn't want to see it or even think about it tonight. I just wanted to be alone with him.

TO BE CONTINUED