A/N: I'm really sorry for the wait but I made it! I managed to find the time to finish this chapter! Anyway, I hope the writing is okay. On another note, as I've been saying, this story is coming to an end soon... This is actually the last chapter before the epilogue... so yeah, here you go! Sorry again for the wait!

I don't own anything :)

Chapter 23. Find My Way Back

"No distance could ever tear us apart
There's nothing that I wouldn't do
I'll find my way back to you

On my way now
Don't give up on me
And no one knows what
What tomorrow brings
These weary eyes will never rest
Until they look in yours again

I'm on my way now
I still believe"

"Find My Way Back –Eric Arjes"

The pen screeched as she signed at the bottom of the paper. She fingered the sheet from a pile of paper and put it on the second stack, smaller than the first one.

Ten done. Twenty more to go.

Caitlin sighed as she leaned back in her chair, tired fingers going to pinch the bridge of her nose. A yawn escaped her lips and she eyed her empty cup of coffee. It was a Sunday afternoon and she felt like she hadn't gotten any rest during the weekend. She should really think about getting more sleep. She was a doctor; she perfectly knew that living on coffee and short nights was far from leading a healthy life. But the paperwork she was currently working on was due to for tomorrow and Dr Caitlin Snow was never late to finish work. What worried her was that she usually even had a few days in advance in her work.

Not this time though. Starting at Mercury labs was a huge opportunity for her and she loved every aspect of her new job. Except she felt like she had to prove she was worth being here to her colleagues every single day. She knew she belonged in a prestigious lab like that one; she didn't need her colleagues' approval. Yet it weighed on her shoulders. Older employees wondered how such a young woman had managed to get a job like hers while younger people didn't exactly take her seriously, treating her like a friend when she was their superior.

So she felt like she was spending more time trying to justify being there than actually showing them what she was worth. What a waste of her precious time.

A slight vibration startled her and her eyes snapped open to look at her phone. A half smile appeared on her lips as she saw she had a text from Barry. But it instantly disappeared when she opened it.

"Sorry something came up, won't be able to call you tonight. Raincheck?"

She had to bite down on her lower lip to keep the tears that were gathering at the corner of her eyes from escaping.

Being away from Barry wasn't helping in the least.

Calls had become rare, texts less abundant, pictures a gift from the universe. She had a weird feeling of déjà-vu, sending her years back to when they had started college and had lost touch after a few months apart. Except at the time they had decided to break up before. This was different… right? She kept reminding herself that he had promised he wouldn't let go of her even if she pulled away. Except, the more time passed, the less she could hear him say those words.

And right now, she wasn't the one pulling away. Sure she was busy as hell, but she always made sure to have time to talk to him. He was the one acting less available even though he was currently on holidays.

She took a deep breath before answering to the text, trying not to show how it had affected her.

"Sure, no worries. Keep me posted when you're available. Love you Xx."

With a tired flip of her wrist, she threw her phone back on the stack of paper and chased away the single tear that had managed to roll down on her cheek. She was a grown up, she knew life was made of ups and downs, that it was completely normal to feel out of place when starting something new. She had passed the euphoria of discovering her new job and was now ambling for the anxious phase that came with insecurities and doubts. She knew it wouldn't last long, she just wished it'd be over now.

Caitlin shook her head, grabbed her cup of coffee and brought it to her mouth, only to remember it was empty. She glared at it, as if it would make it fill itself out of fear, but to no avail. She sighed before standing up and heading to the kitchen to have a refill of the dark beverage that was her constant companion these days, even more than usually.

She hummed in pleasure as the sweet smell of coffee reached her nostrils while she poured it down in her cup. At least she could always count on it to make her feel better. Leaning back against her kitchen counter, she slowly raised her cup to her lips, closing her eyes in anticipation, a small smile drawing itself on her features.

The dark liquid was about to reach her lips when a few hard knocks jolted her back to the reality and her smile dropped. Caitlin huffed in annoyance and gave an apologetic look at her cup of coffee before putting it down on the counter and making her way to the front door of her apartment.

"James! I already told you I didn't have any flour to lend you!" Caitlin shouted before even reaching the door. "You should ask…" She froze up on the spot when she finally opened the door and saw who was actually in her corridor.

It wasn't James.

At all.

"Well I don't need flour, since, you know… I'm kind of a disaster in the kitchen… Except for pancakes right? You liked my pancakes. I know that. One day I'll manage to make you admit it! Anyway, no I don't need flour, but thanks for thinking about me."

Caitlin stared, mouth agape, at Barry standing on her doorstep, a huge grin plastered on his face, a duffel bag hanging from his shoulder, his jacket crumpled in his hand. She blinked a few times, trying to make sure he was really there, in front of her. The silent bouncing of his eyebrows on his forehead and the smug curl of his lips was what snapped her out of her trance.

Without a word, Caitlin threw one arm around his neck to pull him down to her, the other hand immediately cupping his face and her lips crashing against his. She heard a loud thud as, she guessed, Barry let go of his duffel bag and jacket, his arms instantly circling around her waist, bringing her closer to him.

He didn't take long to deepen the kiss, revelling in the fact that Caitlin soon willingly opened her lips to let his tongue slip in between. He straightened up a bit and she had to rise on the tip of her toes to keep the distance between them to a strict minimum.

When their bodies begged for air, they had to pull away from each other, Caitlin leaning back on the ball of her feet while Barry couldn't help himself from nuzzling her face with the tip of his nose. But then something seemed to have popped up in his mind and he pulled his head back, watching her carefully.

"Who's James?" He asked with a raised eyebrow.

"No one." She groaned before pulling him back towards her, nipping at his lower lip before kissing him fully again – not at all in the mood to chit chat.

He pulled away again and shook his head with a serious look on his face. "Well maybe I should pay him a visit… You know, to let him know he better keep his hands off of you."

She rolled her eyes, not amused by his joke. Talking was really the last thing on her mind right now. She had missed him so much in the past few weeks, wrecking her brain to find a solution to their predicament. She was tired to be away from him. She wanted him – all of him. She didn't want to run scared anymore. With him by her side, she was convinced she could face anything.

And he just stood there as if they hadn't just spent the last two and a half months apart.

While his hands were still resting on her waist, she huffed and crossed her arms on her chest, glaring at him. "Will you just shut up for a minute and just kiss me already?"

Barry chuckled. "Yes ma'am."

He didn't need her to tell him twice and he dived back in, kissing her passionately. Her arms uncrossed themselves and her left hand fell to the front of his shirt, grasping the material to keep him close and to make sure this was really happening. She went to her tiptoes again – her mouth battling for some dominance that he gladly let her have.

They were interrupted by the sound of a door opening and being closed a few seconds later. Caitlin wrenched her lips away from Barry's and suddenly realised they were still standing in her corridor, making out like two teenagers. She became beet red as she saw her neighbour pass by and going down the steps, sending her a knowing glance as he crossed their path.

"Caitlin." Her neighbour greeted her with a big smile, eyeing Barry with a twinkle in his eyes.

She nodded back at him, biting on her lower lip to try and contain some of her embarrassment. "James." She simply replied before he disappeared down the staircase.

"So this is James?" Barry asked with a lift of his eyebrows as he turned back to face her. "I see I have nothing to worry about." He chuckled.

Caitlin swatted him on the chest. "Shush! He's adorable!"

Barry shrugged with a bright smile. "Yeah maybe, but he's definitely gay, isn't he?"

She giggled loudly and lifted one hand to her lips as if embarrassed by the sound that had just escaped, making Barry chuckle. She was simply precious and he couldn't believe she had allowed him, Barry Allen – probably the dorkiest person she knew – to be near her.

"He's gay, but also one of the nicest people I know!" She smiled sweetly. "Now let's go inside." She whispered, still flushed from the make out session and being caught by her neighbour.

Barry wordlessly nodded, picking up his stuff from the floor before following her inside her apartment. It was everything he had imagined it would be. Bright, clean and organised. But also very nicely decorated, a lot of pictures everywhere on the walls, a lot of books, a lot a CDs… It felt so much like Caitlin that he felt like it wasn't the first time he came here.

"So, what are you doing here?" She asked as she showed him the couch for him to leave his stuff somewhere.

"You mean besides making out with you?" Barry teased as he cocked his head to the right to catch her eyes.

Caitlin blushed furiously again and just glared at him. "How did you even know where I lived?"

Barry shrugged, leaving his stuff next to her couch. "I may or may not have called your brother and then Cisco to make sure I had the right address."

Caitlin stopped on her way to the kitchen and turned around to look at him. "You called Cisco?" She asked surprised before resuming her task. She knew he kept in touch with her brother from time to time, but she would've never imagined him talking with her best friend. The two men hadn't left things on the best terms when they had seen each other in Ryker Neve. Why would Barry call Cisco?

"Well yeah," Barry explained, following her into the kitchen where she poured themselves two glasses of water, "I had to make sure you weren't in a very seriously relationship your brother had no idea about, before showing up unannounced." The light-hearted tone he had wanted his voice to be turned out more strained than planned and a nervous laugh escaped his lips without his permission.

Caitlin softly looked at him while handing him a glass of water. "You perfectly knew I wouldn't be."

He took a gulp before placing the glass back on the kitchen counter. His shoulders slightly bounced. "Yeah, but I wanted to be sure."

Without a word, Caitlin circled around the counter and approached him, her hand instantly going to the back of his neck as soon as he was in her reach. She pulled him down to her face and softly kissed him. Somehow, that simple kiss seemed more intense than the heavy and hot kisses they had shared in her corridor. It held so many silent promises that Barry felt like his heart would burst out of his chest.

"You're it for me, Barry. I don't want anyone else. I want you." She whispered after pulling slightly away, revelling in the feeling of his hands resting on her hips.

His breath caught in his throat and his grip on her hips tightened itself. He stole another deeper kiss before murmuring back. "I love you so much, Dr Snow."

A small chuckle bubbled up her throat. "I love you too, Mr Allen. And I'm so glad you're here."

"Me too." He murmured, his eyes not leaving hers.

Eyes closed, she hummed in contentment when he bowed down to brush his nose against hers. Her heart squeezed as she realised she had something to ask him but was afraid of his answer. She had to ask, even though she'd like to be the kind of careless woman who didn't. But she needed to know or she wouldn't be able to completely enjoy the moment. Even though his answer had the power to also completely ruined it if it wasn't what she wanted it to be.

Caitlin took a deep breath and slowly opened her eyes to look up to him. "How long are you staying?" She whispered softly, hoping he wouldn't actually hear her so she could change her mind and just live without knowing.

But no chance of that, Barry was way too close to her to not hear her.

A small crease appeared between his eyebrows, as he seemed to consider his answer. She could practically see the wheels turning in his brain. What were the circumstances of his stay here that had him think so much about his reply to her simple question?

"I'm here for a few days, I don't have a precise number to give you… If… If that's okay with you…" He awkwardly stuttered, eyebrows dancing on his forehead, his mouth set in a distorted line. "I mean… can I stay a few days? Like do you have… things… planned? If that's the case, I… I can leave earlier… I… I should've asked for… If… I wanted it to be a surprise… and I… I didn't ask… I…"

Caitlin affectionately rolled her eyes, a sigh of relief escaping her lips knowing she would have him for more than one day. She softly pressed her index against his lips to stop his ramble and she beamed at his face, close to a deer caught in the headlights.

In silence, she tugged on his shirt and walked in the direction of her bedroom. It didn't take a genius to know what her intentions were and the only words spoken in the next few hours, except for each other's names, were: "It's perfect."

The soft sound of her keys clicking in the lock of her door pulled the strings on her lips and a wide grin appeared on her face. It was finally time to get some rest in the arms of the love of her life in front of a dumb movie while eating microwaved popcorn. She was looking forward to a weekend of doing nothing but that. This past week had been long and heavy with work. But the fact that she knew Barry Allen was waiting for her in her apartment made everything worth it. The fact that he had been here for one week already and hadn't left yet, was amazing to her.

She shook her head to chase away the cheesiness that had taken hold of her brain, but to no avail. She couldn't get rid of the giddy feelings Barry was causing her. Not that she actually wanted to.

She pushed the door and entered her silent apartment. She instantly frowned at the lack of lights.

"Barry? You here?" She called out.

Receiving no answer, Caitlin kicked her door shut before dropping her bag and keys on the coffee table on her way to the kitchen. "Barry?" She called again, but like the living room, her kitchen was empty.

That was weird. In the past few days, Barry had always made sure to be there when she came home from work. Sometimes, he even had started to cook dinner so that she didn't have much to do except relax for the evening.

Dread suddenly took hold of her entire being. He hadn't left, had he?

She hurried towards her bedroom to check if he hadn't, by any chance, decided to take a nap and that was why he wasn't answering to her calls or that the lights were off.

But no, again, the room was empty.

He wouldn't do that to her, would he? Leave without saying goodbye? But then maybe something had happened and he had to leave in a rush, without being able to see her… But would he leave without even leaving a note for her?

Why was she suddenly so insecure about the wonderful time they had shared together the last few days?

Caitlin took a deep breath and walked back to her living room to retrieve her phone. Maybe he had called or left a message. If he hadn't, she would call him for sure.

She was just about to grab her phone when the heard someone playing with the lock of her door. She turned around just in time to see Barry poke his head inside, an innocent look on his face.

"Hey there," he greeted her softly as he entered the apartment, "I didn't think you'd be home already."

"You… what?" Caitlin gaped at him. "I'm always home at this time!"

Barry shrugged out of his jacket. "Yes, maybe I'm the one who had planned to be home before you but failed." He chuckled as he made his way towards her to drop a kiss to her lips. "Hey. Again." He whispered, his face a few inches away from hers, a cheeky grin floating over his lips.

A smile that instantly faded away when Caitlin hit the back of his head with a swift movement of the hand.

"Ouch," Barry exclaimed himself, rubbing his hand against the spot she had hit, "what was that for?"

"For worrying me!" Arms crossed over her chest, Caitlin jutted her chin forward, not wanting to be affected by the lost-puppy-look he was wearing.

"What? For real?" He squealed in a high voice. "What did I do?"

Caitlin sheepishly looked away, her teeth instantly worrying her lower lip, her arms falling to the length of her body. "I thought you had left…" She whispered shyly.

He shook his head, not really understanding her words. "Well yeah, I went for a walk." He explained as if it were the most logical thing in the world.

She glared at him under her eyelashes. "No, I mean I thought you had left."

He frowned at the way she insisted on the word 'left'. "Oh… OH!" His eyes went wide and he instantly forgot about the tiny bruise at the back of his head, taking a step forward to reach her with his hands. "Really Cait? You know I would never do that, right?"

"I know…"

"I would've said good-bye."

"Yes but what if…"

"No 'what ifs' Cait." He cut her off before she could finish her sentence. "I would've found a way to tell you. I would've gone to Mercury Labs, I would've called, left a message, written a note, literally anything! We are not those kinds of people that just up and leave whenever they feel like it. We always, always, take the other into account."

"I know all of that, I just… I don't know, I panicked." She shrugged as her arms went to cross themselves on her chest as some kind of shield.

He bowed down to catch her eyes and whispered. "What are you afraid of?"

Her hands travelled from her shirt to his, grasping the soft tissue as if her life depended on it. Her teary eyes locked with his and the words she was afraid to say seemed to hit him straight in the face. 'I don't want you to leave'.

He smiled sweetly, soft fingers tucking one of her curls back behind her ear, his thumb drawing lazy lines against her cheek. How long they stayed that way, no one knew. The silence in the apartment was peaceful and comfortable and they could've stayed like that way longer than they actually did.

Finally, Caitlin took a deep breath and broke the silence. "Are you hungry?" She asked.

"I could eat." He softly kissed her forehead before she pulled away and went to her fridge. He took a deep breath while she wasn't looking at him; too busy examining the content of her fridge to decide what they could eat. "So…" He trailed off. "There's a reason why I wasn't here when you came home…" Barry announced nervously. "I have some news…"

Caitlin straightened up at the sound of his voice, slowly closing the fridge – dinner completely forgotten. She looked back at him with a worried glint in her eyes. She didn't really know what to expect, especially after her small breakdown.

He softly smiled at her, trying to soothe away the worried frown that had appeared between her eyebrows. Sure he was nervous, but he didn't want her to be concerned. "So when you left Ryker Neve, I called the Central City University… I had a long conversation with them and I discovered that they have a really interesting summer program…" He stopped talking when the sound of his phone vibrating indicated he had received a message.

With a frown, he read whatever was on his phone and Caitlin got the urge to grab the device to throw it out of the window. He couldn't leave her hanging like that; she was waiting for the rest of his news.

He smiled to himself before putting down his phone again. "Anyway…" He looked back up to her. "So they do a condensed forensic training per correspondence courses for people that missed the deadline to roll themselves in. And it allows you to get in the full year program to get your forensic degree."

He paused and waited for some kind of reaction from her part, a stupid grin on his face and his eyes shining.

"Oh wow…" She looked at him agape. "I… I had… I had no idea… Seems really interesting!"

"I know right?" He trailed off and the wait was practically killing her.

She wanted him to just spill it out and get to his point. "So are you… did you…?" Caitlin breathed out, almost scared to voice her question, afraid that his answer would destroy her hopes. She still took the few steps that were between them, going around her kitchen counter now standing right in front of him.

"So… Since I already did a few semesters right after high school," he continued calmly, "I was able to attend this summer program during these past few months. I was a really good and serious student." He chuckled and Caitlin just couldn't seem able to react, too absorbed by the bomb he had just dropped on her. "I had an interview this week for them to check my motivation and all, they also did a small evaluation of my knowledge. And today I went again to retrieve my results – that's my reason for being late, public transportations from the university to here were hell this afternoon."

She swore she stopped breathing right at that moment, afraid that a single puff of air would disturb the whole balance around them.

Seeing that she was almost petrified, Barry decided to stop her suffering. "I got accepted! I just have 2 more semesters to do at Central City University to have my forensic degree!" Barry gloated, eyebrows bouncing on his forehead, and she still didn't want to breathe out any relief, waiting for him to confirm what he was saying. "You're now looking at a very proud Central City University's student."

Caitlin finally let out a huge puff of air, her lungs crying in relief as they filled themselves with oxygenated air again, and a squeal that he found really, really, cute escaped as well. She didn't think twice about throwing her arms around his neck to hug him fiercely.

Barry gave everything he had in the hug too.

She briefly pulled away to meet his eyes. "Why didn't you tell me?" She almost shouted with an unconvincing death glare.

He rolled his eyes, yet his smile was brighter than the sun. "I wanted it to be a surprise…"

She hopped on her feet before throwing herself in his arms again, squealing. "Well, I'm surprised!"

They stayed a long time in each other's arms until they both calmed down a bit from the whole euphoria of the moment. When they did, Caitlin whispered against his neck. "This is it, huh? Us. This is going to work. Nobody can stop this."

He softly cupped her face to bring it in front of his. "I want to be with you, Cait. I don't want to mess this up. We're grown-ups now, we can do this. I'm not letting you go without a fight. This is it."

Her heart fluttered at the sound of his words. She didn't think she'd ever heard anything better in her all life – well maybe her heart was exaggerating about that, but yes, his words were amazing to her ears. "I'm yours, Barry. I think I always have been."

"Good," Barry grinned back at her, "because I love you like crazy. And I don't think I can handle being away from you any longer."

Caitlin cupped his face too and brought it to hers, kissing him passionately in a messy tangle of hands and lips and hair. "I love you too." She breathed against his lips.

In the middle of their kisses, Caitlin giggled which made him frown. "What's so funny?"

"I'm dating a student. This should be weird." She replied while chuckling.

Barry rolled his eyes and raised a teasing eyebrow. "Well remember that that student is still a few months older than you."

She leaned her forehead against his with a secret smile on her lips. "I'm so glad you're here."

"Me too!"

"I'm so glad you're staying."

"Hell yes!"