A/N: I'm being too good to you this weekend. And I know I have other stories I should be updating, but my mind is here right now. This is around Season 3 and "Wrath," - so a few months from the last chapter. IF I continue this, it'll likely see big jumps in time.

THE KISS

"You know none of this is your fault, right Liv?"

Olivia was gathering things up at her desk across from Elliot. Captain Cragen had insisted she take time off, again, after the Eric Plummer shooting – and it wasn't optional. Olivia ignored Elliot's comment.

Elliot spoke again, slower this time. "Liv, this—isn't—your—fault."

"Whose fault is it then?" She didn't even look up.

"Eric Plummer," Elliot said. "He did this. He killed those people, not you."

"Well, I cost him his life – twice," Olivia said.

"You weren't the only one involved in him going to jail," Elliot. "He was prosecuted by the DA's office and a jury found him guilty."

"Yeah, well, tell that to all the families of the victims," Olivia said. "If I hadn't pursued him so hard, maybe they would still be alive and Plummer wouldn't have turned into a monster."

"Maybe he was already a monster," Elliot said. "Maybe it just came out of hiding."

Olivia shook her head. "I'm going home. Cap said take a few more days."

"That's probably a good idea," Elliot said. Olivia got up to leave and Elliot called out. "Hey, Liv … take care of yourself this week. Do something, anything, that you enjoy and get your mind off Plummer."

Olivia took a deep breath and nodded in acknowledgement, not necessarily agreement.

#

Olivia was home, music on, and changed into sweats when the expected knock on her door came. She opened it to see Alex standing there, long tan trench coat and hands in her pocket. She gave Olivia a sympathetic smile.

"Come in," Olivia said, moving aside, then shutting and locking the door behind Alex. Alex hung up her jacket and joined Olivia in the living room, who offered her a glass of wine.

"I have to say, I was surprised you called me back today," Alex said. "I was worried you were still angry with me."

Olivia shrugged. "I think we're beyond that at this point, and what good would it do?"

"So, you are or aren't angry with me?" Alex said, probing further.

"I was … but I know you didn't mean it," Olivia said.

"For what it's worth, I did believe you, Liv," Alex said. "I just knew I'd get ripped apart if I tried to get a warrant."

"I know," Olivia said.

"But … I should have tried anyway," Alex said. "I'm sorry."

Olivia just nodded and took a drink of the water she was drinking with her wine. "I ordered dinner for us. It should be here soon."

Alex nodded. Olivia turned on Golden Girls reruns while they waited on dinner. By this point in their friendship, it had mostly just become the soundtrack to their time together when they were each other's apartments.

When dinner came, Alex spent time talking about courthouse gossip, other notable cases in other precincts and about her family's impending visit – anything she could do to keep Olivia's mind off Eric Plummer.

After dinner, Olivia fixed them some mint chocolate chip ice cream – Alex's favorite. She had gotten use to just keeping some of it in her apartment incase Alex was there – or in hopes she could bribe her to extend their time together.

"Olivia, I'm really glad you called tonight," Alex said. "I'd imagine it's not easy for a lot of detectives and ADAs to be such good friends. And I do … consider you … someone close to me." Olivia noted Alex didn't use the word 'friends' to describe them
specifically.

"What I'm trying to say is, no matter how much we've gone at it in the office, it's nice to know that it doesn't affect us outside of the office. But this week, our fight, I crossed a line – a personal one – and I was worried that …"

"…that I would hold that against you?" Olivia finished.

Alex just nodded solemnly. "I was scared that we'd lose … this."

Olivia shook her head in understanding. "Well, it never crossed my mind that I would hold it against you. I think both of us have showed we're mature enough to keep things professional at work. I mean, yes, there are some days I want to hypothetically
strangle you."

That made both of them laugh.

"Likewise, detective," Alex said.

"But you are right about some things," Olivia said. "You said you were surprised I called you back, and to be honest, I'm a bit surprised as well. Typically, I like to hide out from the world. But tonight, well, let's just say I'm glad you're here."

With the quiet and emotional conversation they were having, they had moved closer toward each other on the couch so they didn't have to speak up too loudly.

They continued talking into the night. Olivia opening up to Alex about how she was feeling and Alex patiently listening, allowing the rare chance for Olivia to be so vulnerable. At one point, she even reached for Olivia's hand to comfort her. Olivia squeezed
her hand back and didn't let go. It was so comfortable, peaceful and natural that neither of them even felt awkward about it.

Alex had lost track of time, even fallen asleep on the couch. When she woke up about 1:30 a.m. Olivia was sleeping on her shoulder. Alex decided to let Olivia sleep – she needed it. Alex would certainly be tired at work the next day, but Olivia needed
her more in that moment.

Alex attempted to go back to sleep, setting an alarm on her phone so she had time to go home, shower and change before work. Before she could go to sleep, however, Olivia woke up.

She was groggy. "I'm sorry. I guess I fell asleep," Olivia said, sitting up.

"It's okay," Alex said. "You needed it. You should go get in bed, though. And I should get home."

Olivia nodded and got up to walk Alex to the door.

"Thank you for everything, Alex," Olivia said. "I needed a friend tonight and I'm glad you were here."

"Liv, I'm always here for you," Alex said. "And thank you for letting me be here for you."

The both nodded in another awkward silence, something that had grown more frequent when they said their goodbyes, including intense staring into eyes and at lips.

Alex spoke again and turned toward the door, "Ok, well, I'll call you tomorrow and check in on –."

Olivia grabbed Alex's arm, stepped toward her and kissed her, no longer able to control what she was feeling toward the blond – surprising Alex and even herself.

She was even more surprised when she felt Alex's tongue enter her mouth, kissing her back, then felt Alex's hands on the back of her head, threading her fingers through her hair.

The kissing only lasted about 7 seconds, but they were both breathless when it ended and suddenly super aware of what had just transpired – for good or for bad.

"I, um …" Olivia wasn't sure what to say. Alex nodded at her, letting her know it was okay, she didn't need to say anything. Alex didn't know what to say either – or how she felt.

"I'll call you tomorrow," Alex said. Olivia nodded and watched as Alex left her apartment – Olivia hoping it wasn't for the last time.

#

Alex went home but she didn't sleep much the rest of the night. By 4:30 a.m. she had given up and got up to make coffee, something she would certainly need for the day ahead of her on next to no sleep.

She tried to focus on a crossword puzzle from the day before, but she couldn't take her mind off Olivia. It wasn't just the kiss, though that was a big part it. Alex had been thinking about Olivia a lot lately. She had fought it off because she knew what
was feeling was improper, given their relationship, and the fact that – up until a few hours ago – she had no reason to believe Olivia was anything but straight. It's not like she hadn't questioned it. She had seen Olivia check out women before, even
though (hoped) she was checking her out at times and flirting. But so far, if Olivia was gay, or had ever been with a woman, it had never come up in conversation.

Of course, Alex hadn't exactly disclosed anything of that nature to Olivia either. Alex had never labeled herself as strictly gay; she had dated men, but for the most part, the few short relationships she'd had were with women.

But Alex had been thinking about Olivia for months – even before they became friends. She was intrigued by the detective and when she got to know her better, she was even more taken with Olivia. The Olivia with a wicked sense of humor and a sappy side
that she rarely let anyone see. The Olivia that could dress up, or dress down, and still look stunning. The Olivia that Alex knew kept mint chocolate chip ice cream in her freezer despite not even liking it that much (Olivia never finished her bowl
and always opted for something else when options were available).

Alex had reasoned with herself that it was just a crush and it would go away. After all, as long as they were both was in SVU, any kind of relationship would be improper. Even if they disclosed it, it could cause problems with defense attorneys. Sure,
one of them could leave, but they were nowhere near that point, and SVU needed them both – Alex could recognize that. She was damn good at her job, and Olivia, well, she was one of the best detectives in NYC. Alex couldn't imagine Olivia in any other
department, but she also couldn't imagine leaving herself.

Alex was confused.

#

"Hey Cabot, you seen Olivia lately?"

Alex had barely stepped into the 1-6 squad room the following afternoon when Munch was asking her about Olivia, who was still on leave.

"What?" Alex said.

"Olivia Benson, SVU Detective?" Munch said, being a smart ass. "You two are tight. I was just wondering how she was."

"We're tight?" Alex said.

"Well, I mean, you're friends right," Munch said. "I'm just wondering if you've talked to her and how she is."

"I haven't," Alex lied. "Why don't you ask Stabler?" She kept walking, heading into Cragen's office to drop off a warrant.

"Ask me what?" Elliot said, hearing his name across the room.

"Man, what crawled up her ass?" Fin muttered.

"I guess the Ice Princess is out in full force today," Munch said. "Hey Stabler, have you talked to Olivia?"

"Not since last night," he said. "But I think she's hanging in there."

Munch nodded and the three men went back to their work. Alex left Cragen's office and gave Munch an icy stare – she had heard his "Ice Princess" comment.

"What'd you do to piss her off?" Elliot asked Munch.

Munch shrugged. "I just asked her about Liv," he said.

#

Olivia opened the door of her apartment – this time for the unexpected knock – and Alex Cabot marched in.

"Hey, Alex, I wasn't expecting you," Olivia said. "Did we have plans? I barely remember this morning."

"Oh, how convenient," Alex said.

"Woah, what? I just asked if we had plans tonight," Olivia said. "What's going on?"

"Come on, Liv," Alex said. "Like you don't know."

"The kiss," Olivia said, realizing what Alex was talking about now. "Listen, I'm sorr-."

"No. You don't get to just kiss me," Alex said. "We're friends. Colleagues. That's it."

"O-K," Olivia said. "Alex, I didn't ask for anything more. And I was going to apologize and say I shouldn't have done that."

"You're right, you shouldn't have," Alex said. "And I shouldn't have either. We can't … we work together, Liv."

"I know," Olivia said. "I understand. We can't … be together. But also, I wasn't asking for that."

"Then what were you doing? What were you thinking?" Alex said.

"Alex, calm down," Olivia said. "It was a kiss and clearly a mistake. I wasn't doing anything. I was tired and let my guard down."

"Oh, you kiss a lot of people when you're tired?" Alex rolled her eyes, pacing around the room.

"No, I mean, my guard was down," Olivia said. "I wasn't thinking. I just … fuck, Alex, I don't know. Sometimes I've wondering about us … about my feelings for you … and about your feelings for me."

Alex took a deep breath, trying to force herself to calm down. She knew she was overreacting over something as small as a kiss. She nodded. "Ok. I … um … I've wondered, too."

Olivia nodded, feeling a little relieved it hadn't all been in her head.

"But Liv, we can't … be more than friends," Alex continued.

"I know that Alex," Olivia said. "In fact, I was going to call you tonight and suggest we talk about this and say the same thing.

"You were?" Alex said, relieved tone.

"Yeah," Olivia said. "Look, Alex, if thing were different …."

"Same," Alex said, knowing what Olivia was going to say. "But we both do important work and it would be selfish of either of us to compromise it, or give it up."

"So, can we still be friends?" Olivia finally asked.

Alex nodded. "I hope so because of all of this, your friendship has meant a lot to me."

"Good, then we'll be friends," Olivia said. "And we'll be more careful with our boundaries."

Alex nodded.

"I have Chinese food coming and ordered way too much," Olivia said. "Stay for dinner?"

Alex nodded and smiled. "Sure, but only if you have mint chocolate chip ice cream for dessert."

"Always."

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