Unkown: Hey Everyone! I Have Updated Again! I Promise Even Though The Story Seems Confusing Now It Will Make More Sense Sooner Or Later! Also You See I Work So A lot Of This Is Written After Work Where Your Brain Pretty Much Dead At That Point And I Get Weird Work Hours Too So Yeah.
Serious Unkown: Also I Have To Be Honest Some Of This Won't Follow The Same Timeline As The Original Game Bet They Will Still Be There Just They Might Be In Different Forms Of How They Happen Or Just Not Happen For One Reason Or Another Sorry.
Unkown: On With This Story!
Chapter 2: Scaring Memories, Draigourish Thingy, and Wall Guard Is Spiderman!
After the craziness that the last few days brought I was now finally ready to deal with the fact that I now live in final fantasy seven, living in the same building with Hojo, being Sep (Sephiroth) sibling even though he hasn't done anything (yet), had a space disease inside of me that could force me to destroy the entire planet for some evil alien squidish like lady man thingy (whatever you want to call it, it's still creepy and the definition of a nope's in the universes), and most important of all a male now.
'Sob'
Ok maybe not.
'I'm so screwed!' I thought as I began to mentally cry again while trying to play I spy with Wall guard (I need a new nickname for him.) in a pure white room with no colors and has only a few thing in it with the air vent put back into place, the bed nailed to the floor, and the new security camera broken (like I'm going to let those perv's keep watching me without pants on).
So far we were tied for some reason.
"I spy with my little eyes something…bright." Wall guard said laying on the floor with his arms crossed over his head well helmet to use as a pillow as I was just laying on the floor with my arms resting on my stomach as both he and I stared at the ceiling.
"Is it the light bulb?"
"Yep! Your tune."
"Hmmm…" I wasn't really paying attention to the game but more focus on what I'm going to do about changing the story plot but I also manage to come up with a theory of why I had not remember the first three years of life that I found out from the other scientist after some torture of singing 'This is the song that never ends' till they all begged me to stop in tears. (Pussy's.)
My own birth that's what. (Dame I just felt a chill through me.)
Now you might thing it no big deal but imagine being squished from all sides of your body with complete darkness and barely able to breathe other then a small tube in your stomach and of course as I learned in hell class (Health class) that babies during the second trimester then onwards pee in the womb then fucking drink it then pee again (Just what the fuck babies?) then all of a sudden when you find the light you were looking for you end up looking right into the giant face that is Hojo's face.
Like Attack on Titan but much MUCH worse.
Because of that event I was very much traumatized (Along with the fact that I became road kill but who really cares about that.) and had apparently suppress pretty much everything about myself because of it.
So after much concentration, popping a few of my blood vessels (Man Hojo was PISSED OFF about that.), and yelling 'why' over and over again after remembering some (A lot.) of repress thing in my old life Nicklee, like when walking in to my parent room when they were playing 'Naughty nurse and doctor'.
I shall forever regret remembering that but atlas I know why I yell 'mommy stop sticking that in daddy hinny!' when I'm around doctors and nurses.
Moving on from the emotional scares I have remembered and try to forget again (so far not luck), I found out me and Sep weren't just any twins no we were conjoined twin!
Explains the scar on my back but I'm kind of sad that it wasn't from some evil noseless freak named 'Moldyshorts' that tried to kill me because I got super powers.
Guess you can't get everything you wish for.
But anyway I think I found out why the Sep in the cannon or atlas I think he didn't have a sibling was because of squidish like lady man thingy cells. You see I think it was because the cells that he and I both have that the cell joined together and stop Sep from having a sibling (me) because we had joined as one being but luckily for us it only conjoined us from our back and then had to get surgery to be separated. (Which sucked monkey balls.)
Which I'm very happy about since it would be very weird to have to go to the bathroom with someone on your back the entire time and deal with the smell when they had to use it too.
So from what I also found while trying to reviewing the suppress memories is that me and Sep's had not met each other before the air vent fiasco. So that kind of suck and I'm starting to make plans to sneak off to see Sep when I can.
You might be wondering why is it that now I suddenly remember being Nicklee.
I was wondering the same question so when I reviewed the memories I also found out why I started to remember my life as Nicklee. You see Hojo had wanted to see what would happen if mako was inserted straight into your brain. And I just had the unfortunate luck to be the guinea pig.
It's funny you know, mako is suppose to make you forget shit but it made me remember instead!
I stop thinking as I heard foot step walking from down the hall that was next to my room. I found that I could tell whose footsteps were walking down the hall by the weight and sound. It would be cool in my opinion because:
A. I can jump the scientist coming into the room and scream 'Wolverine!'
B. Tackle hug one of the guards. (Wall Guard just laughs and Sir Douchbag just screams like a little girl.)
C. Hide under the bed and hiss like a cat at anyone that tries to take me out and scratch their hand or face.
D. Run out the door screaming 'Freedom' and run all over the place mapping out the areas that Sep might be in while I'm being chase and yelling 'Nah Nah Nah Neh Neh Neh you can't catch me you can't catch me'.
E. And who would forget biting their ankles when they piss me of. (I thing I got the 'Ankle Biter Achievement' its right between my 'Crazy Bitch Achievement' to 'Road Kill Achievement'.)
Anyway the person walking down the hall was currently Sir Douchbag.
…I just got a great idea.
"I spy with my little eye something cute, funny, is a girl, likes you, loves the color pink, and about to entire through the door" I said with a large smile as I watch Wall Guard sit up quickly and turned to look at me.
"A girl that likes me…" Wall Guard said with a daze.
"Loves you to be truthful." I said with a grin.
"There's a girl that loves me! Hang on honey I'm coming!" Wall guard said as he quickly stand up and ran to the door tripping only once and throwing it open to revile Sir Douchbag.
Silence filled the room.
"…You're a girl, Jack!" Wall man yelled out and grabbed Sir Douchbag chest.
Sir Douchbag replied was a 'What the hell!' and punched Wall man face.
I almost died laughing.
I'm A Line I'm A Line I'm A Line I'm A Line I'm A Line I'm A Line Oh Oh Oh OHHH I'm A Line Yyyaaahhhh
So after everything calm down, Sir Douchbag told us that the 'Wimp of the Sciences Department' (Sissy Doctor) wanted to see me.
I'm being watch by him since Hojo is more focused on Sep right now. (Bad for him good for me.)
I had to be dragged from the room with my bed while their ears were hurting from my 'Nope's!' that I shouted over and over again.
Hey its still a scientist working for Hojo anyone would react like this.
After being dragged into the lab he basically did some non painful test to check to see how I reacted to the mako inserted into my brain before (which I pretended to act high and shit so basically throwing a chair at him while shouting 'Boss Pedobear'.) then sent me on my way back to my room with Wall Guard (still need a new nickname for him) and Sir Douchbag.
Now everything was going normal when being sent back to my room so I was singing 'Kyles mom is a big fat bitch!' with Hojo replacing the words Kyles mom. Wall trying to keep up with me even though he didn't know the words (And putting 'beep' in every curse word during the song.) plus chocking on his laughter doesn't help and Sir Douchbag was looking torn from killing us for our beautiful sing to laughing (I would be surprised if he can) at what we were calling Hojo.
Till apparently one of the dumbass scientists had accidently let lose one of the more dangerous experiments one that look like it had a dragons head, a tigers body, hooves for feet, and a fish like tail (so basically my uncle on a good day) about the size of a Shire Horse the largest horse in the world that can carry atlas three full grown adults and was now charging with super speed that I would be surprised if a SOLDIER would be able to stop- oh crap its coming straight at me!
'Again fuck my life's!' I could only thing as I put my arms over my face waiting for the bit that I hope was not poisoned.
But it never came and opened my eyes a bit to see the second most amazing sight I've ever seen. (The first was a unicorn when I was six years old at a zoo even though my brother insisted it was just a white rhino but I call bullshit on that.)
Sir Douchbag was shooting at the Draigourish (Dragon-Tiger-Hourse-Fish) legs but dame was that thing fast while Wall Guard was distracting it by throwing bread crumbs at it (where he got it I don't know and I really want to know).
But it wasn't only the fact that he was throwing bread crumbs that got my amazement not it was the fact he was-h-he was…
He was dogging with ease, doing flips like he's done it all his life, and JUMPING ON THE FUCKING WALLS!?
He's he's…
"Spiderguard" I whispered in awe and wonder as I watch Spiderguard (that's his new nickname...Maybe) jump from wall to wall while the Draigourish tried to catch him.
Finally Sir Douchbag was able to cripple the Draigourish by shoot both its front legs till the broke off from the body because of the weight making its face fall first. (Ha-ha…what? It was going to eat me and you can't just not find it funny when someone or something falls on their faces.)
"Goddess dammit, I hate working near the crazy scientist!" Sir Douchbag said lowering his gun and walk over to break the back legs of the Draigourish with the butt of his gun making the Draigourish cry out in pain (Sir Douchbag just got a 10 cool points).
"Oh come on Jack it wasn't that bad." Spiderguard said as he came back to the floor (aww I wanted to see more though.) and step right next to Sir Douchbag and throw his arm right arm over Sir Douchbag shoulder in a friendly way…I think? I don't know, I kind of think there secretly gay for each other.
"Not that bad, Charlie this is the third time this WEEK!" yelled Sir Douchbag in anger as I continue to look at them.
"Ok maybe it's not so good but hey atlas it wasn't like that time with the weird cactus man creature, what was it called again a Cactuar?" Spiderguard ask rubbing his jaw.
"Don't you ever bring up that incident again or I will hurt you violently." Sir Douchbag said it like a promise with a very angry glace at Spiderguard.
"Ok ok sorry" Spiderguard said as he took his hand off of Sir Douchbag shoulder holding both his hands up in a 'I surrender so don't chop my balls off' sign.
"Good just keep remembering that…hey brat why are you looking at us like that" Sir Douchbag ask as he slowly back away from me with both him and Spiderguard finally noticing my presence (about time bitch's).
"…Your Spiderman missing brother." I stated to Spiderguard.
"I'm who now?" Spiderguard ask with a question stare while I just smiled back with innocence.(NOT)
"Spiderguard of course"
"Wait I thought I was Wall guard before then Spiderman now Spiderguard? Just who is spiderman!" Spiderguard ask with curiosity.
"I'll never tell!" I yelled and then ran away from him while I 'accidently' (it was on purpose) step on the Draigourish bringing out another pain yelp from it and ran down the hall.
"Hey wait! Who's Spiderman!" I heard from behind me.
"Oh for the love of-about time you slow ass back up came! YOU deal with the reject of nature, I on the other hand got two idiots to catch." Sir Douchbag said from behind me before another pair of footsteps came from behind me also.
So we all just basically spent the next whatever hours since I don't have a watch running all over with shots of 'Never!', 'Who's Spiderman!', and 'I'm going to kill you two, fuckers!' till I got tiered and had to be carried to my room by Spiderguard (I think he forgot the question he was going to ask me) after I said 'carry me' to them and fell asleep in his arms. I'm a little piss about falling asleep but I'm physically a (maybe) three year old granted a mako squidish cells three year old but still just a three year old.
I'm A Line I'm A Line I'm A Line I'm A Line I'm A Line I'm A Line Oh Oh Oh OHHH I'm A Line Yyyaaahhhh
After I woke up I remember there was a question I wanted to ask. But I waited for Sir Douchbag to get food for him and Spiderguard while I got disgusting paste that Hojo assigned for me to eat.
Yum thanks a lot Hojo…
NOT!
'Sigh' I miss real food…
"So there's one thing I just don't get." I said as I was crouching on the floor in front of the door waited for Sir Douchbag to come back in order to scare him into dropping his food with Spiderguard sitting on the side of the room away from the bed and door but facing it so he could see what I'm about to do.
"Yeah, what is it?"
"You two could easily make second class from what I've seen so why are you guys third?"
Spiderguard sat quietly for a moment and I was just about to ask again (like I give up that easily) till he stated to talk again.
"Jack…was a top second class a year ago when I was still a cabin, but you see…we were assigned to the same mission Jack was the co leader with another second class called Lan Green…they…they were best friend-brothers really not by blood but still brother they both came from rocket town and were in the same squad but anyway it was to take out some small terrorist organization just starting out that had stolen some important data of shinra they got their hands on so the place they were stationed at was close to a place called cosmo canyon, AVAL something I didn't really care about what its name was, so it was just suppose to be simple shoot them down get the data back give it to the Turks then leave the rest to the Turks the usual but no it didn't happen like that it was a trap, one of our own had betrayed us and Jack had to make a decision on whether he lets the squad die or get the data back…I guess you can tell which one he chose…so he got demoted to third, was shun by a lot of other SOLDIER's and half the squad he saved in order for them not to get mixed up with 'the disgrace SOLDIER and suffer his 'curse' rumor that started up, and got pick for a bunch of crappy missions and other stuff…no offence of course."
"Non taken" I replied in a not caring way after all I had to watch my cousins before and look at what happened I got run over.
"So yeah that why Jacks a third as for me well I punched the SOLDIER director Varin Cater when he called Jack a-wait sorry you too young for that, but anyways I was allowed to stay in SOLDIER because of my skill and the fact I'm supposed to be a 'bridge of understanding' between Shinra and Wutai pff like that will happen." Spiderguard casually Sa-wait WHAT!
"HUH!?" 'WHAT THE HELL!' I snapped my head to look straight at him with my eyes so wide I'm sure I look like a kitten doped on catnip and about to pouch on a toy…well I got the pouching part down now I just need a tail and cat ears.
"Ah right you didn't know, well you see I'm a member of the royal family Kisaragi my mother Uffie is the oldest sister of Godo emperor of Wutai so to try and make peace I was sent here to be a warrior of Shinra, they did it a lot of times a long time ago in Wutai along with marriages when it was still divided by clans and they made treaties with one another for peace and other thing too so yeah I'm Watui Royalty." Spiderguard kindly stated.
"B-but wait I heard Sir Douchbage call you Cha…Chal…Chalue he called you Chalue!" let it be know I can't remember people's names that well if I don't care enough to truly learn them.
"Charlie" Spiderguard corrected (bitch) "And I go by Charlie well Charlie Kiss to be honest because it difficult for people here to say Chinatsu Kisaragi so when I got here and people couldn't really say my name I decided to go by Charlie Kiss because it easier to say for other people here."
"Huh" I couldn't think of anything to say for that except 'what the fuck?'
I could hear Sir Douchbag coming down the halls now and got ready to get me some real food.
But as the door opened and I jump at Sir douchbag to steal his food Spiderguard said something I wasn't definedly was not expecting.
"Plus I also got to watch out for my little cousin Rai Shinra."
"WHA-"
BAMB
"Fffffffuuuuuuuuuuuu-"
I smacked head first into Sir Douchbag's balls.
Unkown: Done And Done! Ok It Like Whoe Late I'm Going To Bed, I Hope You Engoyed This Chapter And All The Surprise It Had, Bye!