A/N: It is such a relief to me being done with college. I have a really good job that gives me financial stability and healthcare and I think having all of that anxiety off my shoulders is giving me the reprieve to write again. I'm happy again, I think. I hope I stick with this.

And Ellie's not pregnant because she and Goku haven't slept together but you know me so well, tiffthom ;)

Disclaimer: I do not own Dragon Ball Z or anything affiliated with it.

-MalRev

DEEP - SIX

18 - How To Fear

For the first time in my life, I woke up with the sun.

It was still completely silent, but cold early morning light lanced through all four windows, spilling across the floor and me on the bed. I shivered and wrapped myself in the thin blanket. My breath was curling into the air in a wisp of gray. Not only did I not have pants or a toilet, but it was freezing in the middle of nowhere.

I realized Goku wasn't around and decided it was a good time to sneak outside for a bathroom break. The blanket was too big to come with me so I wrapped myself in one of the training shirts that smelled faintly of sweat and unlocked the barrage of locks on the door. I slipped out into the frigid morning.

The car was still a few feet away, windows fogged with mist. My bare feet crunched through leaves with a layer of frost across them as I wandered towards the treeline. The sky was periwinkle blue and a haze hung a foot above the ground, concealing my steps. It was like walking around in a dream.

After I was done I slid my arms inside the shirt to cross them over my chest. My stomach rumbled quietly as I shivered and walked back to the cabin. Hopefully Goku was getting food.

My mind drifted when I walked past the car again. I stopped near the door and stared at the Civic, wondering if Goku left the keys in it. Maybe I could just drive home. He probably couldn't do his alien disappearing trick if I was in a moving vehicle. I could get a real pair of pants, find Owen myself… or call people who could help me find him.

Depending on Goku seemed like a bad idea. He'd lied to me without batting an eye, and I knew nothing about him anymore. But I knew other humans would help me.

Was it unfair to feel that way, or just natural? He said he hated what he was but could he really control it? There were no pills to keep him restrained and I could control him about as much as I could stop the sun from rising. What if his temper flared and I ended up with a broken arm—or worse?

I looked around before bolting for the car.

It wasn't locked. I scrambled inside, slamming the door shut, and hit the locks. The keys were in the glove box and I dropped them a few times thanks to my trembling hands before frantically scratching them into the ignition. The Civic quietly came to life and I thanked my dad for teaching me how to drive a manual. I shifted into the first gear and took off for the road.

The drive was even more confusing than the first time as a passenger. The road twisted back on itself, likely deliberately so. I kept my eyes peeled for any signs of Goku but he didn't appear. My sweaty palms squeezed the wheel as I struggled to see where I was going.

Finally, I came out to the main road. I took a sharp turn like Goku had to make my way back towards civilization and another car zoomed past me. Excited, I tried to catch my breath and focus on getting somewhere with a phone. He wouldn't be able to find me if I was moving fast. Could he anyway? He'd have no idea where exactly I was.

About fifteen minutes went by without incident. I cranked up with heat and turned on the radio to see if anything odd was happening in the area. Now I was on a long, wide expanse of road and another car was approaching from the opposite direction. I closed my eyes for a split second and took a deep, steadying breath. The sun was rising in the horizon.

I opened my eyes and barely saw a shock of black hair before impact.

Goku caught the car hurtling down the road at 60 miles an hour in his bare hands, crushing the hood as he slid back a few feet. The engine revved and snarled and seized, belching smoke before I even realized what was happening. I started screaming but the airbags deployed as I flung forward and I abruptly became blind and mute. Dazed, I hardly registered the car being thrown off the road.

The mangled Civic landed with a dull thud. I squeezed my eyes shut and opened them up wide, ears ringing, and weakly tried to push the airbag out of my face. Pain was everywhere—my chest, my neck, my face. Smoke burned my nostrils.

Tires squealed a distance away and I heard voices arguing. I squinted towards the road, making out a shifting image of Goku and two people. They were pointing at me.

I coughed and slouched into the passenger seat to escape the air bag. My door was crushed so I wouldn't be able to get out that way. Warm wetness dripped down the side of my face as I jiggled the passenger door handle until it opened. I dragged myself towards it until I could shove it open with my shoulder, then I spilled out onto the ground.

"I'm calling the police!" shouted a shrill female voice.

I rolled on the ground, gritting my teeth. Smoke curled from the car into the air, shrouding me from view of the road. My ears were still ringing but I could make out Goku trying to convince the people to leave. I turned over on all fours and took a few heaving breaths. Blood dripped on the grass.

The other car took off as I staggered to my feet. I blinked hard, trying to focus my eyes, and stumbled towards the woods. I'd find my way back—I just needed to put distance between myself and—

Hands grappled with my shirt and spun me around. He grabbed my upper arms, rage marring his features again. I flopped around like a fish, too weak to even try to fight back.

"What were you thinking?!" Goku snarled, shaking me violently. "Do you know what will happen if I'm not around to protect you?! They can bring you places that I can't find, Ellie! They'll keep you there like a slave and you'll never see Owen or your parents again! Now two humans saw what I can do and the police might find the cabin—then I have nowhere to keep you safe!"

"I want to go home!" I wailed.

"Well you can't!" Goku snapped. His furious black eyes flickered up to my head and he curled his lip. "And you're bleeding. This is great, Ellie—great job!"

Goku wrapped an arm around my waist and lifted the other. The ground suddenly disappeared beneath my feet and I had the sensation that I was moving. It was almost like going down a slide at warp speed. I squeezed my eyes shut, afraid to look down and see what was happening.

It stopped as suddenly as it started. The soles of my feet touched cold wood.

He threw me down on the mattress and stalked across the small cabin a few times, running his hands through his hair. Abruptly he vanished again and I started when I heard loud cracking sounds outside. Something crashed on the ground but I was too dizzy to get up. A few minutes passed before Goku reappeared in the cabin, now covered in sweat.

"You're lucky that I love you," he said, glaring at me as he pulled his shirt off.

"How so?" I hissed.

Goku tossed the shirt in the pile at the end of the mattress and turned away from me to get a first aid box. "Every day it gets harder to control my impulses—and the last one wanted me to break your legs so you couldn't run away again."

I managed to sit up, grimacing, but upright. "Don't worry, the airbag broke everything else."

"Don't be dramatic. You just have bruises." He came over to me with a few bandages and antibiotic ointment and sat cross-legged at my feet. His eyes were tired. "You have to listen to me, Ellie."

"Why?"

He wiped some blood off my head but didn't look me in the eye. "Because when the medication wears off, I won't care about what I have to do to make you listen to me."

"Why?" I pressed.

Goku ignored me for a while, working on bandaging my head. He cleaned the blood off the side of my face and turned my arms over to look for bruises. Nothing was showing up yet but I could feel the throbbing pain under my skin. My chest had caught most of the impact.

"I'm sorry I hurt you," he said after a pregnant pause. He was quiet again, staring at my pale arms. "Hurting people is in my blood. It's how my… species is. They would conquer planets and destroy everything. Then they'd move on and do it again."

"But how do Vegeta and the others control themselves? Why can't you?"

He started putting things away and refused to look at me. "They grew up on our planet and learned how. I crashed on Earth as a baby and no one could teach me. Now that I'm an adult, it's even harder."

We were both silent after that. Goku rubbed his nose and rose to put the first aid kit back. I looked down at my palms, now covered in dirt, and wondered how it felt to want to hurt people.

There was some cooked fish next to the fireplace. I accepted one with a quiet thanks and ate it faster than I thought I would. I drank some water and had a few berries. Goku laid on the floor on the other side of the cabin, staring up at the ceiling. For the first time, I noticed scars across his chest.

He stirred. "There's a river close by where you can wash up."

"Okay. Thanks."

We walked this time and I wore my shoes. Goku brought some of his clothes to rinse off. Thankfully it was warmer than the morning had been. I looked towards the treeline and my heart skipped a beat when I saw a few fallen trees with marks gouged all over them.

The sound of running water grew louder and I could finally hear birds singing to each other. The wind whistled through the trees, ruffling fresh green growth. Leaves crunched underfoot and the occasional critter watched us from the bushes before skittering off.

A slight embankment preceded the river. It was wide and stretched off far into the distance, running fast in most spots. Deep pools lined the shore and were surrounded by enormous rocks jutting out of the water. It was clear, at least. Hopefully I wouldn't come out with leeches.

Goku dropped the clothes in the closest pool, where they floated on the surface. "It's cold."

"Of course it is," I muttered. I gave him a long look up and down. "Do you mind turning around?"

"I'll see you naked, anyway."

I scowled and started tugging off my shoes. Fine. I'd just keep the clothes on.

The exploratory toe I dipped in the water came right back out. It was freezing! I stood on the edge of the water and shivered while Goku lackadaisically walked right past me into the water. He sank into the stream and shortly added his pants to the pile in the pool. His head dipped beneath the surface for a couple seconds and when he resurfaced his hair was still sticking up.

"Come on, it's not that bad," he said, grinning at me.

"I'd rather be dirty than freeze to death."

Goku rolled his eyes and rose out of the water. I quickly turned my head because he was naked once again and shielded the side of my head with my hand. My cheeks burned.

He was right in front of me, laughing. "Should I wear clothes when I take a bath, too?" His hands hooked under my arms and he carried me into the water like a ragdoll.

I squealed as ice water gnawed up my body and was quickly submerged. My teeth chattered as Goku drifted farther from the shore, changing his grip to hold my back against his chest. His fingers unraveled the sash I'd triple-tied and my pants floated off me to curl around a rock.

It was too cold for me to protest. He tugged my shirt and his over my head while I shivered miserably. Jesus Christ I missed indoor plumbing.

The cold numbed my pain. I squeezed my arms together as Goku turned me over on my stomach and wrapped his arms behind my back to hold me against his chest. The temperature changed dramatically and I struggled closer to the bizarre heat coming from him.

We came to a rest—maybe there was an underwater rock to sit on. His hands pressed warmth into my back and the water soon became tolerable. I rested my head on his wet chest, trembling a bit, and closed my eyes. I already felt a lot better.

Goku sighed and I rose and fell with the movement. "I'm gonna go get some things tomorrow. Maybe see if I can grab the pills, but I'm sure Bulma has them hidden. She's hoping I'll get desperate for them so she can use them for a bargaining chip." His grip tightened on me.

"Bring me pants, please," I mumbled sleepily.

"I'll bring you whatever you want, Ellie."

I washed my hair, careful not to move too far from Goku, and he did the same. I shimmied out of my bra and panties while he kneaded his clothes in the water. Gravity didn't hold me down and I floated in the water, gazing up at the sun blinking through the trees.

Then his hands were under me again and he turned me to face him. He was standing, towering over me, and I was lifted out of the water up to the small of my back. His black eyes scanned mine, calculating. I looked back owlishly as the sun glittered on the droplets in his hair. For a guy who recently began to act like a demon, nature had a funny way of making him look angelic.

Goku cupped my face in his hands. His thick eyebrows were knitted together in worry. "I'll be unpredictable soon. I need it—I need the clarity until I deal with Bulma and the others. But you need to be careful. He'll be obsessed with you. There's no escape." He pressed his forehead to mine and cut through me with his glittering ebony eyes. "Be quiet and obey. He's worse when you don't."

Tears brimmed in my eyes. I was fucking terrified. "Will… he kill me?"

"No." His Adam's apple bobbed and he looked away from me, dropping his hands to my arms. "...He likes possessions. It will drive him to solve the problem. But I'm not him, and I'll still be there fighting to rein him in. I love you, Ellie, because you're so strong-willed—but he will want to break you of that."

I rested my head on Goku's chest and held back tears, but a few traitors trailed down my cheeks. He hugged me tightly and kissed the top of my head. He was a ticking time bomb.