A/N: This one is a rollercoaster - with some hope.

So, there will be a time jump after this. 1 episode and then "Loss." After that, more time jumps, but I have an ending in sight (several chapters out), and I will move as quickly as I can to get us there. I know everyone is disappointed they broke up...but for new readers, know that I like happy endings (and if it's not going to be, I warn people of that early on). This will end happy.

Word Count: ~2,350 Rating: PG

D.C.

"So … you just broke up?"

Elliot knew right away when Olivia showed up to work the morning after the break up that something was wrong. Olivia looked like she hadn't slept all night. He finally figured out something was going on with Alex about mid-way through the day when she came to the squad room. Neither lady could even look at each other. Even when they were fighting in the past, usually they could stand to be around each other.

"Yes, we decided it was best," Olivia said.

Elliot watched her across the booth in the pub they were having dinner in. Olivia had refused to tell him what was going on at the office, too afraid she'd get emotional.

"Wow," Elliot said. "Over the fed thing?"

Olivia shook her head. "No. I mean, we fought over that, for sure," Olivia said. "But at the end of the day, the timing is just wrong for us. We promised when we started really dating that we'd never let our personal relationship affect our jobs, and that we'd never let work affect our personal relationship. As you know, that hasn't been easy for us. I think last night, it just all came to a head."

Elliot nodded and let Olivia keep talking, since she actually was, for once.

"I guess we're lucky it lasted as long as we did," she said. "I mean, we tried so hard, but we're both so committed to our jobs – to SVU. It just … wasn't meant to be."

Elliot watched as he saw his partner fighting back tears. He lifted his beer to Olivia.

"Liv, I'm sorry," he said. "I know you love Alex. Who knows what the future will hold?"

She shrugged. "I'm not holding my breath, El," she said. "I can't."

He just nodded. He knew how much Olivia was struggling with his. He could see it on her face; he saw it on Alex's face, too. She also looked like she had been up all night crying.

#

"Jesus Christ, Cabot, you pull a rager or something last night?"

Alex sighed and looked up. She'd recognize that southern drawl anywhere.

"Always so good to see you, Abby," Alex said. "I thought southerners were supposed to be charming?"

"We can, but we're also brutally honest," Abbie said. "I hope you didn't have court today."

Alex shook her head. "No, thank God," she said. "What brings you by?"

"In town for a training and heard through the grapevine you are looking to go fed," Abbie said.

"This place leaks like siv," Alex said. "Maybe, but it's some time away."

"What about your detective?" Abbie said.

Alex closed her eyes and sighed. It told Abbie everything she needed to know about what was wrong with Alex.

"Ohhh," Abbie said. "So, this isn't a new look for you. This is 'Olivia Benson broke my heart' face."

"Can you not, today?" Alex said.

"Ok, I'm sorry," Abbie said. "Is that what it is though? I mean, are you two together, like officially?"

"We … were," Alex said. "Until last night."

"Damn," Abbie said. "What happened?"

"The thing that we both knew would happen," Alex said. "Work. I mean, we tried, and we did well for a while, but in the end …"

"Wait a second? Does this have anything to do with you leaving her and Elliot in Federal lock-up for hours this week?" Abbie said.

"Seriously? Do you have this place bugged?" Alex said.

"No, but the Feds leak as much as the DA's office," Abbie said. "When I got wind a Manhattan ADA and NYPD commander left their detectives in lock-up for a little extra time-out, I knew it had to be SVU. What did Benson and Stabler do this time?"

Alex shook her head. "I don't' even want to talk about it," Alex said. "But to answer your question, no, that's not exactly why we broke up. But it led to the conversation where we both had to admit this wasn't working as we hoped it would."

"Well, of course not," Abbie said. "I could have told you that."

"You encouraged it!"

"I figured if it was serious, one of you would transfer out," Abbie said.

"Well, I was working on it, but now, I guess it doesn't matter," Alex said.

"Well, if you're seriously interested in going Fed, there's a spot opening up in my office in a couple months," Abbie said. "I'm sure we'd love to have you."

"In D.C.?"

"Yeah, but maybe it will help get your mind off Detective Benson," Abbie said.

Alex sat back in her chair and put her chin on her hand, contemplating Abbie's offer.

#

Two weeks later

Things had been chilly between Olivia and Alex. There was no fighting, but the temperature had changed. For Olivia, it changed when she heard a rumor Alex was considering a Federal prosecutor position in D.C. In her mind, it justified what she said about Alex only caring about her career.

For Alex, it changed as a response to Olivia's icy reception to her. She had been hopeful, after their breakup, that they could eventually go back to being friends – as far-fetched as it founded to be friends with someone you just broke up with.

Neither of them were rude. They just did their jobs and tried to forget they were in love.

"Go find Cabot and get a warrant," Cragen instructed his detectives. It was after-hours and they had no idea where she was and she didn't answer when Elliot tried to call.

"Maybe her assistant will know if she had plans," Olivia said, searching through her phone for Julie's home number.

Ring. Ring. Ring.

"Julia, it's Detective Benson. We're looking for Alex. Do you know where she is?"

"Oh, Olivia, hi," Julie said. "Um, you know, I don't think she … had anything on her calendar." She was speaking slow and Olivia could tell she was feeling uncomfortable. Julie didn't "know" Olivia and Alex had been dating, but both ladies had a feeling Julie suspected.

Olivia lowered her voice so as to not speak in front of her colleagues. "Look, I know this is unusual, but I promise this is work related. We need a warrant and she didn't answer her phone," Olivia said, trying to reassure the young girl.

"Ok. I overheard her say something about Viccio's," Julie said softly. "She's probably there now."

"Viccio's?"

"Yes," Julie said, almost apologetically.

"Ok, thanks Julie," Olivia said. "I owe you."

She closed her phone and handed the name of the place down for Elliot. She tried to not assume the worst, but with the way Julie was acting, it wasn't looking good. Viccio's was a pretty fancy restaurant, and she obviously wasn't there for work or it would have been on Julie's calendar.

Elliot looked at the name of the place. "You sure you want to go, Liv?" He knew what was up.

Olivia nodded. "Yeah, let's go."

#

The host pointed Alex out in the restaurant and Olivia and Elliot made their way back to Alex's table. Olivia stopped dead in her tracks when she saw Alex – that fucking red dress. Alex was definitely on a date.

Elliot saw his partner and took the lead, having a seat across from Alex. She was alone at the moment. Maybe she got stood up, Olivia thought, then realized how nuts it would be to think anyone would stand Alex up.

Olivia didn't remember much of the conversation, leaving Elliot to do most of the talking. That was, until she recognized the voice behind her – Trevor Langan.

Olivia's mouth dropped over, and she clenched her jaw for a moment before speaking.

"Looks like Alex is, uh, dining with the enemy," Olivia said, glaring at Alex.

"Can you give us two minutes?" Alex asked Trevor. He nodded and walked to the bar, leaving Alex with her detectives.

Alex turned back to Elliot, hoping to solve the matter at hand. Olivia couldn't even look at Alex. The blonde glanced apologetically at Olivia. She knew what it must look like to her.

Olivia never looked up. She just took the paper back from Alex and steamed until they left the restaurant.

#

It was late when Olivia got home. She quickly changed out of her work clothes and grabbed a beer from the fridge. She needed to wind down and before sleep and figure out exactly how her world had crashed around here in the last two weeks.

It was nearly 10:30 p.m. when Olivia heard a knock on her door. Any other night, she would go straight for her gun before checking it at this hour, but tonight, she had a good idea who was outside.

She opened the door. "What? Your date end early?"

"Can I come in?" Alex said. She was still in that damn dress.

Olivia moved to the side and let Alex pass by. She took a place on the couch and slipped her shoes off.

"By all means, make yourself at home," Olivia said, rolling her eyes.

Alex sighed. "My feet hurt," she said. "Can we just please talk for a minute?"

"I don't know what we have to talk about," Olivia said. "Look, we broke up. You can date anyone you want. I just didn't expect … him. And Viccio's? Really?"

They had planned to go there before breaking up – Alex had been begging – they just never made it.

"It wasn't a date," Alex said.

"It sure looked like a date," Olivia said. As angry as she was, she couldn't take her eyes off Alex in that red dress. "It wasn't a case because he's not representing anyone we're prosecuting."

"I was trying to talk him into coming to a fundraiser and sponsoring a table," Alex said. "The Children's Advocacy Center fundraiser is coming up, and I'm on the board and in charge of the fundraiser this year. I was trying to soften the blow."

"So, what? You bribed him with sex?"

"Stop it!" Alex said. "What the hell is your problem? I didn't – and wouldn't – sleep with Trevor Langan. But this isn't even about him, is it? You've been treating me like shit for nearly two weeks."

Olivia looked away, fighting back the urge to yell back at Alex.

"When we broke up, I thought we handled it pretty well," Alex said. "I mean, we talked it out and we made that decision together. So, if you're made we broke up, you need to remember you said the words first, not me."

Olivia remained silent.

"And for a few days, it was okay. I mean, it was awkward, but I thought maybe, just maybe, we could still be friends," Alex said. "But then, you started flat out ignoring me. Not returning my calls. Not looking at me. No talking to me. Nothing. I mean, geez, I thought I deserved better treatment than that."

"Yeah, and I thought I deserved to be treated better than to hear you're moving to D.C. through the rumor mill," Olivia spat back. Alex's mouth opened. "Yeah, I heard that. So, please, tell me again how you were only going to take a Fed job for me and not for your career."

"That's what this is about?" Alex said. She tilted her head back and ran her fingers through her hair. Olivia couldn't keep her eyes off the blonde even as angry as she was. "That's not even … you know what, it doesn't even matter."

The two women, in all their yelling had managed to be sitting awfully close on the couch.

Alex leaned down to put her shoes on, then decided to finish her sentence to Olivia, to tell her about D.C. When she raised back up, Olivia took her face in her hand and kissed her hard and passionate.

The detective pulled away, realizing maybe she shouldn't have done that. They both took a breath and stared at each other.

"I'm sorry," Olivia said. Before she could say anything else, Alex leaned in and kissed her.

They kissed hurriedly, Olivia pulling Alex on top of her, and pushing her dress up. Alex pushing Olivia's pajama bottoms down, and pulling her shirt off.

They fucked – right there on the couch – wantonly and desperate for each other's touch. They weren't making love; they had a need and wanted each other.

When they were done, Olivia led Alex to the bedroom, hung up the blonde's dress so it didn't wrinkle, and gave Alex some pajamas to sleep in. They crawled in bed, as they had done tons of time, and made love again. This time, tenderly.

Hours later, as the light began to creep into Olivia's bedroom window, the two women laid together, holding each other, both wide awake.

"You awake?" Alex said. She knew Olivia was awake. She could tell by her breathing.

"Yeah," Olivia whispered.

"I don't regret this," Alex said.

"Ditto," Olivia said. Alex smiled.

"Nothing has changed," Alex said.

"Nothing has changed," Olivia repeated. Both in the same place they had been just months ago.

"I turned down the job in D.C.," Alex said.

"What?"

"I was never really interested," Alex said. "But, Abbie …"

"Oh," Olivia said. She realized how she had treated Alex for nothing. "I'm sorry for how I treated you."

"You were hurting," Alex said. "So was I – I still am."

"Me, too," Olivia said.

"I know," Alex said. "Liv, you know we still can't …"

"I know," Olivia said.

"But, my plans haven't changed," Alex said. "I still want to work for the U.S. attorney's office. And, when or if that day comes, then maybe … we can try again?"

Olivia nodded. "I'd like that." They both took a deep breath. Alex laid her head on Olivia's shoulder and the two of them went back to napping until they had to get up and go to work.

Back to pretending they weren't in love with each other.

As always, your reviews are appreciated. Love it, hate it, have ideas? Let me know with a comment or on twitter -rileyclocks!