a/n: I just wanted to thank each and everyone of you who are still reading this, and many many thanks to all of you who take the time to review it, it really means a lot. Sometimes i forget to thank you guys, but i'm very grateful to you!

...and one more thing---if Marish doesn't get the Emmy this year---- well i will be one pissed off lady; because i think this could be her best season ever.

CHAPTER 12

"We got blood!" Porter heard one of the crime scene people call out. He quickly ran to where the voice was coming from, "Looks like he tried to clean it up, but he missed a spot." The guy said as he showed Porter the smudge of blood that was on the corner of the wall, "Give me a minute to spray this down with some luminol, and then we'll take a look with the lights out. My guess, this place is covered in blood."

"Agent Porter," A uniform officer came over to him, "He's gone and from the looks of things, he's not coming back."

"F," Porter spat, "Okay, well I want every single millimeter of this place inspected with a fine tooth comb, got it?"

"Got it," the officer said and turned to walk away.

Porter took out his cell punched a few keys on the keypad, sighed and put the phone to his ear, "Yeah, he's gone, Don."

EOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEO

"Breakfast in bed again?" Olivia said wide eyed when she saw Elliot walk in the bedroom with a breakfast tray. He placed it on the table beside the bed and climbed up.

"Nothing but the best for you," He said with a smile and placed a kiss on her forehead, "Besides you really need be resting your leg."

"Shit, well if I knew all it took was a bum leg to get you to make me breakfast in bed, I would have done it a long time ago," she said with a wink. She grabbed his shirt with her fist and pressed her lips firmly to his, "So, you make Munch breakfast in bed when he broke his leg?" She said and let out a laugh.

"You want to make this your last breakfast in bed?" Elliot smirked.

"And yet you didn't deny it. Should I be worried?" Olivia said with sly smile. Elliot leaned over and cupped Olivia's jaw and took her mouth into his sucking all the air out of her lungs, "Guess not." She said as she tried to catch her breath. The tingling sensation she felt run through her body was intoxicating. She pulled Elliot to her again, "Do that again," She whispered.

Elliot raised a brow, "Yeah?" He asked.

"Yeah," She said with a seductive smile and waited for Elliot to meet her request.

He was a little apprehensive at first, he knew that with a kiss like that it was definitely going to lead to something more, at least for him. He knew it was wrong to get them all hot and bothered when they clearly weren't ready to go where it was leading too.

"Elliot?" She said breaking him out of his trance, "Kiss me already!"

With no time to weigh the options he placed his lips back on hers. He let her tongue slip through his mouth first, making sure she was in control. He ran his hands through the back of her hair and she purred as their tongues meshed. He had to calm himself down, the pressure that was building up in his groin was beginning to feel very uncomfortable with the weight of Olivia's body that was now beneath him…what the hell? How did that happen?

"Olivia…" Elliot said worriedly and pulled back.

She placed her finger to his lips, "Shhhhhh…" She whispered. She knew what he was thinking, she knew why he was pulling back, and she wanted nothing to do with it. For the first time she was not thinking of White when they were kissing; now however he had entered her brain again, ruining yet another opportunity to feel normal.

She sighed and he rolled off of her, "I'm sorry…" He whispered and pulled a piece of hair that was in her eyes behind her ear, "I just know that…"

"Whatever," she sighed as she held back the tears that were threatening to spill.

"Olivia," He said worried that she wouldn't look him in the eyes.

"No, just forget it." She said and rubbed her eyebrow with her knuckle, "I think I just want to be a lone for a little bit," She choked out.

He looked at her in bewilderment, "I…Liv…please just talk to me."

But how could she? How could she explain to him this feeling that she didn't even recognize herself? Her chest felt heavy and she felt faint even though she lying down, "I…I don't know how…" She confessed.

Elliot let out a long breath, pleased that she hadn't asked him to leave again, "Just tell me what you're feeling," He said as he played with her hair.

"That's just it, Elliot!" She said in frustration, "One minute I'm fine and I want to do things to you," the moment those words left her mouth she felt the blush rush up to her cheeks and she choked on her words.

"And the next you're…thinking of the attack..." Elliot continued. He knew what she was thinking, it was the same thing he had heard from survivors. It was classic, and Liv should know that it is normal reaction.

"Yeah…but," She bit her lip and tried to think of how to word this, "What if I'm acting a like baby? I mean there is no proof that I was…raped. I mean for all I know I wasn't. And here I am acting like a victim when I might not even be one!" That did it, the tears fell and she had no control over it.

Elliot scooped her into his arms and rubbed her shoulders gently, "Olivia," He said in calming voice, "I hate to be the one to bring this to your attention; but even if he didn't actually…rape you, he still…roughed you up a bit."

She took a deep breath, "I just feel like I'm over reacting for nothing."

Elliot squeezed Olivia tight, "You're not over reacting, Liv. He had you," He shook his head trying to get the images of White out of his head, "He cut you, broke your ankle, cut your head! For fucks sake he even put a bullet through his mothers head!" He couldn't control himself, he had been holding a lot of things back for her, but he slipped, "Jesus Olivia, we know what he is capable of." There was a long silence before he spoke again, "Do you know how scared I was?" he asked almost inaudible.

"About as scared as I was when I thought I was never going to see you again?" She said intertwining her fingers with his.

"Scared doesn't even begin to describe it, Liv." He said thinking back to that day. His heart pounded in his chest just thinking about it.

"I'm sorry I went after him, I'm sorry I got us into this fucking mess in the first place," She said as she felt her temper begin to rise as well.

"Why'd you do it, Olivia?" He asked as his eyes searched hers for an answer.

"Because!" She said moving away from him, "Do you know what it was like? He was going to kill you Elliot! Don't you get that? He was going to kill you! Because of me! How could I be responsible for that? He killed Simon, Elliot! But if he got you too---Oh my God…I just…I couldn't," She was sobbing now and on the verge of hyperventilating, "I would have died if I lost you," She said just above a whisper, "My God Elliot what would I have done if he killed you?" She looked into his dark blue eyes wanting so much to tell him that she has loved him since the first time she looked into them, "That's why I did it." She said taking a deep breath. Relief coming over her as she felt a like a ton of bricks had been lifted off of her chest.

She looked at him and searched his eyes; the feeling of losing him came flooding back to her. The need to touch him, hold him, the need to just feel him became overwhelming and she found her self rubbing her hands all over his body, her lips hot and almost salivating to get them pressed onto his. She pressed down on his lips with full force, wasting no as time she pushed through his lips and pursued his tongue with her own.

She could taste her own salty tears as they made their way down her cheeks and into their mouths. She ran her hands up his chest and over his shoulders, it started as nothing sexual, just the need to feel him, know that he was there and that White didn't get to him;

BUT…

This was Elliot Stabler we were talking about here and his hands were wondering all over her. Her clothes seemed too tight, to warm, to controlling and she felt this overpowering need to take them off. White be damned, she wasn't going let him ruin this moment with Elliot. She had waited 9 years for this! 9 agonizing, frustrating, heart wrenching, years. No, she wasn't going to let him ruin this, anything but this.

She crossed her arms at her chest and pulled off her shirt shocking Elliot with her actions. He tried to look her in the eyes but the view was distracting. Her breasts were perfectly plump, bubbly, and bouncy and they needed to free themselves from the tight containment of that bra, he thought as he moaned into her mouth.

Her hands griped his shirt and she demanded that it be taken off immediately, which of course he complied. Her hand ran up and down his bare chest and she placed her mouth on his neck sucking gently. She purred softly and he thought he was going to die right then and there.

Something told him to just go with it and not to stop her, not that he wanted to stop her…but you know. The sensation of her lips on his skin was contagious and she wanted to feel his lips all over her, "Don't stop, just don't fucking stop." She demanded.

Elliot looked up at her and smiled, placing kisses down her chest. His hands reached behind her back and somehow managed to unclasp the contraption that was keeping his lips from her luscious breasts. He discarded her bra to the floor and cupped his hands on her breasts. He nearly wet himself when he heard her moan something that sounded like his name.

Then suddenly she froze, and he froze, and panic struck both of them this time...