Chapter 11

Rachel's safe place was breathtaking. We trekked the path going to a manmade pond, there was a picnic table with wooden benches attached to it. There was a small cabin too; it looked as if it was vacation house of some sort. Rachel moved in the place with precision. She knew the places to get all necessary for our impromptu picnic it was like she didn't just sneak in here whenever she needed to.

"Does your family own this place?" I asked curiously. Rachel nodded, "My dads wanted a place where we can go on picnics when I was still a little girl, not everyone in Lima was so open to see two gay dads raise a child." She said dejectedly.

"I'm sorry to hear that" I told her, "it must be hard for you to have gone through that" I added. She just smiled and shook her head "No, it was okay. I mean, I love the exclusivity of it."

I was waiting for her to say something else, but for a few minutes neither one of us were speaking, she was just preparing the table, refusing me to help. She thinks I should just save the little energy I have left after practice. I took privilege of that.

We ate in silence; I noticed that she got all my favorites, even bacon. She got the entire vegetarian version and didn't lecture me about my food choices.

"I hope you're enjoying your meal Quinn." She said earnestly.

"Isho goo-ood, Waech" I said chewing on my food. I smiled and finished off the food in my mouth and tried again "It's so good. Thank you Rachel". She beamed back.

"I got you a strawberry cheesecake and their secret menu of a milkshake." Rachel said while handing the them to me.

I sipped on the milkshake and I instantly liked it. "Mmm" taste like strawberries. She sniggered and I wrinkled my forehead "How is strawberry milkshake a secret menu?" I asked with the the after taste of strawberries, which is a staple milkshake of all time, by the way. She just giggled some more.

"See, that's not just strawberries. It has fresh orange juice and Greek yogurt and instead of cow's milk, it has soy milk" she said proudly. I didn't miss how she scrunched up on the "cow" part of it all.

"It's my signature drink!" she added. "You mean it's your favorite from their menu?" I clarified.

"Nope!" she said popping the P sound. "I asked the waiter then to make me a vegetarian version of a milkshake and they said they don't have one." She started narrating "I asked if they had any strawberries and oranges and maybe a yogurt," she continued. "It was too complex for their cook then, and they asked me to come on back and make it myself. So I got everything that I can work, and made these goodies." She finished with a sip of her own drink.

"Well cheers to that cheffy" I picked up my drink and clinked cups with her. She smiled back all smug "Why thank you".

After eating everything that I could, I told her to just sit still and I'll clear everything else because I am now pumped up with energy, she gladly obliged and watched me move around the kitchen.

When I was done, she was sat at the living room by the fire and I sat on her side leaning my head to her shoulder, snuggling closer. She stiffened a little until I felt her ease in and laid her head atop mine.

"Can I ask you something?" she asked only above a whisper. I nodded but she still didn't continue until I said yes.

"What's going on with you and Santana?"

How do I answer that? What did she mean by what's going on between San and I? I tried to carefully compose what I'll say, without giving away anything at once.

"And then there's that whole thing with Brittany too?" she added as an afterthought when I didn't answer right away..

"Hmm. You know how the three of us are best friends? We are just having our moments." I said dismissively.

She nodded; we were facing each other now, but bodies still close. It looked like she wanted to say something more; we were just looking at each other until she averted her eyes back to the fire. I can see faint freckles below her eyes as the light from the fire reflected on her face.

"It looks like there's more." she looked at me searchingly. "You don't necessarily have to share." She placed her hand on top of mine "But if you want to talk about anything, you can talk to me."

I smiled and shook my head. How do you tell a friend, anyone for that matter, that you have feelings for someone in who is already in a relationship? Someone such as your best friends and not make you the worst person in the world for pining on an unavailable person?

She had an encouraging smile on her face, it made me feel like she will be accepting of whatever it is that I have to say, she shook my hand and told me that I can take my time, if I need to.

"I have feelings for Santana" I blurted in a hurry together with a sneeze. She scrunched up her forehead, unsure if she heard me right. She started laughing. Like one of those boisterous ones.

I paled at her expression; placing my now free hands covering my face. "I'm a big joke. I know."

I didn't mean to cry just as much as I'm sure Rachel didn't mean to laugh. I was only trying to hide the embarrassment from my face when I suddenly started feeling tears prick my eyes and torrents of emotions as my eyes begin to flood.

I heard Rachel's laughter died down, or did I drown it white my stifled cries? She wrapped her arms around me, and rocked me while humming a lullaby. I melted into her arms, angling so I can hold onto her tightly, burying my face to the nook of her shoulder.

She hummed that song we rehearsed at glee, what was that song again? Oh, Keep Holding On, what is?

"It's okay Quinn; I'm here to for you." She was rubbing my back, "Cry it out if you must, and then later, we'll talk." She continued to shush me, wiping blond tresses out of my face. "It's going to be okay my dear."