a/n: yes, i realize i have been slacking on my updates...no excuses, play like a champion...

Chapter 17

4 months later…

"Feel good to finally get that cast off?" Porter asked Liv as he helped her into the house.

"God, you have no idea," she said with a refreshing smile as she limped into the house.

"Doctor Henley said it was healing nice." She gave him a smile but didn't reply, "It sure did take a long time though. I mean 4 hours for a routine procedure?" He said, not noticing the terrified look Olivia shot him.

"Uh, yeah…I guess," she said and quickly walked towards the living room; hoping to avoid any comments about the visit.

"Can I get you anything?" He asked as he watched her take a seat on the couch.

"Um, maybe a cup of tea?"

"You got it." He said and disappeared to the kitchen.

She let out a sigh of relief, God he was always there! She could never get any peace! She hated pretending like everything was fine, when it clearly wasn't. She wanted to call Elliot…no she wanted to see Elliot. He was probably pissed that she had not called him, not once. Not by lack of trying though. Porter had found the cell and went off on her for 3 hours about how stupid that was. About how not only was it putting her life in jeopardy but his as well; not to mention Elliot's family. That is what did it. The thought of her putting Elliot's family in jeopardy made her sick to her stomach.

By the time Porter had the tea ready Olivia was already asleep on the couch. He smiled as he watched her sleep, but it worried him just the same. She had been doing that a lot lately-- sleeping. It was as if she was exhausted 24 hours a day. He knew that she was depressed, and he felt bad that there was nothing he could do for her. He wanted to smack the shit out of Elliot. He was the cause of, and solution too Olivia's depression.

Porter had really been trying to get on her good side once again. Everyday he spent with her he tried to get her to open up, even if it meant that she talk about Elliot. She wouldn't open up though; not even a word. He soon realized the topic of Elliot Stabler was not to be mentioned.

As Porter watched her sleep he knew that she had never fully committed to him. That she had always belonged to someone else. That perhaps when they were together it was just a hypothetical. She never had any real plans for their future, and her heart was never truly his, because it was already taken. She was a taken woman, even when she wasn't.

He carefully placed a blanket over her as his cell phone rang scaring the hell out of him. He quickly answered it as he ran out of the room hoping it didn't wake Olivia, "Porter."

EOEOEOEOEOEOEOEO

Olivia stirred as she began to wake up. It took her a moment to realize that she was on the couch. She then sighed knowing that it had all been a dream. She was still here, stuck with Porter. She felt bad for the guy, she really did. She has been nothing but moody and awful the past few months.

Her thoughts went back to the Doctors' appointment and what he had told her; nothing that she hadn't already suspected, but she guessed it was still good to know for sure. She looked down at her leg; it felt so free; no longer being held down with a 20 pound cast. The scars were hideous, and she couldn't get over how pale her leg was. However she smiled because she knew that she was going to be fine. A little bit of rehab and her leg will be 100 percent. She had spent nights fearing the worst; that she would be sitting desk for the rest of her career. She cried when Dr. Henley told her the good news.

"Hey," she heard Dean say in a soft voice.

She opened her eyes and sat up, "Hey. I can't believe I slept that long. Is it really 7?"

Dean smiled, "Yeah. Don't worry. I ordered a pizza, should be here any minute. Also--I have some good news." He said with a huge smile on his face.

"What?" She asked as her eyes began to dilate.

"They're close Liv…really fucking close! They're going to nail this guy."

Olivia jerked up, "What? Seriously?"

Dean laughed, "Seriously. It should only be a matter of days."

Olivia practically jumped on top of him and gave him the biggest hug she could muster up. She couldn't believe it. It was the best news she had heard all day…okay the second best news she had heard all day…

EOEOEOEO

"We think we got him, Cap," Munch said as he started to gather his things, "I just got off the phone with Agent Bernard apparently some guy picked up a hitchhiker on the 90 near Rapid City, South Dakota. After several hours the hitchhiker falls asleep, the driver notices blood soaking through his shirt. The guy drives to the nearest hospital and drops him off." He looked at his Captain and could see a little light of hope shinning through his wide eyes, "I take off in 2 hours. I'll call you when I get there." He said and walked out of the precinct.

Cragen for the first time in months had a smile across his face. He picked up the phone that was on the desk that had not been used for far too long. He thought about Olivia as he placed her phone in his hands and hoped he would get to see her soon, "Elliot. It's Don. We got some good news."

EOEOEOEOEO

Porter knocked on Olivia's door with a loud bang, "Olivia!" He said sternly. He was pissed, no, he was furious. How could he not tell her? He was so angry that she didn't tell him he felt like his head was going to explode; but, if he wanted to be honest with himself he knew that that wasn't the reason he was so pissed.

"What?" She said as she flew open the door, not having the slightest clue as to why Porter was banging angrily on her bedroom door.

Porter just sighed as he took in the sight of Olivia. God, he was such an idiot! How did he not notice? It was completely obvious! She was wearing a white tank that just skimmed the hem of her navy blue shorts. He thought about the past month and how he had seen her clad in only a sweats. Now he finally understood, as there was just the tiniest bit of a bump on the front of her stomach.

"What?" She said again; as she crossed her arms over her stomach; all of a sudden aware of her attire. He looked at her, and she looked at him, and that was all it took.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he said softly, his anger diminishing as he looked into her deep dark chocolate eyes. She looked so tired, so confused, and so completely dejected that he knew he couldn't be mad at her; after all this wasn't about him, it was about her. God he was such a jerk!

Olivia sighed, "I just found out today…" Officially, she thought; even though she had known for months.

Porter was silent for a minute as he stared at her bump. His heart broke yet again, "Is it--"

"Elliot's?" She asked and he nodded, "Yes."

Porter held on to the doorframe in an attempt not to fall over, "Wow. Okay, well if there is anything you need, don't be afraid to ask, okay?"

"Thanks, Dean." Olivia said as she placed her hand on his, "It means a lot."

"Okay, well…I'll let you be." He closed the door and went to his bedroom to lie down. He ran his hand over his face in disbelief. The woman he was in love with was pregnant…with another man's child.

EOEOEOEOEO

"I can't believe this!" Olivia yelped as she held on to Porters hand. This smile on her face was ear to ear. They were finally going home. White had been found, and was currently fighting for his no good life in a small hospital in South Dakota. She hoped that Elliot would meet them at the airport. She still had yet to talk to him, and she hoped that he was as excited to see her, as she was to see him.

Dean looked over at her and squeezed her hand. He smiled as he thought about how much he was going to miss her once they got back to New York. It had taken two weeks to clear everything and get the okay to go home. Those two weeks though, Dean would not have traded for anything in the world. The Olivia he had fallen in love with came back to life. Sure it was probably just because she was happy to be going home, but he didn't care.

They played cards, watched movies and talked; really talked, about everything. He had never been so in love with her then he was now. Having her talk about being a mom was the sexiest thing he had ever heard. She had so many fears about it because of her own mother, but he just kept reassuring her that she was going to be terrific.

He even took her shopping for maternity clothes. It was as if they were becoming good friends again, and he loved every second of it.

"You know, Dean. I'm really going to miss you. Despite the situation I have had a lot of fun…well the past two weeks that is," she said with a smile and nudged him in the arm.

"It meant a lot to me too, Liv."

"You going back to D.C.?" She asked curious as to where his next assignment would be.

Dean smiled, "Actually, I'm going to be staying in New York for a little while."

Olivia's eyes widened, "Really?"

"Yup. I'm going to be overseeing one of the branches. It's in a little bit of turmoil and they need someone to straighten things out."

"That's great!" She said with a smile, "I would have missed you."

"Really?" Dean asked surprised.

"Really."

EOEOEOEOEOEO

When they stepped off the plane Olivia's eyes searched the crowd like a hawk. Each passing second causing her heart to skip a beat; he wasn't there. Was he mad at her for not calling? Surly he had to understand right?

"Olivia!" She heard someone shout out amongst the hundreds of people. She quickly scanned the area.

"Captain!" She said with a smile; hoping he didn't notice the disappointment in her face, "It's so good to see you." She said as he pulled her into a hug.

"We've missed you so much." He said as he patted her back, "Here let me get your bags," He said as he took her luggage, "We gotta hurry, I told everyone I would have you at the station 10 minutes ago," He said as he turned and started walking, Olivia and Porter on his heels.

"Everyone's at the station?" She asked wondering if that was where Elliot was.

"Yup, your Welcome Back Party, Benson."

Olivia smiled, it was nice that her coworkers would do something so special for her. She couldn't wait to get there, and to see Elliot.

EOEOEOEOEO

Once again Olivia felt her heart drop. She scanned the precinct and there was not one sign that Elliot was there. What the fuck? Where was Elliot? She thought. She gave everyone hugs, and her and Dean shared stories, she ate a piece of cake; but her patients was running low. Where the fuck was he?

She finally couldn't take it anymore and asked the first person she saw as she made her way back from the bathroom, "Hey Lake, do you know where Elliot is?" She asked trying not to sound too pathetic.

Lake smiled, "Oh yeah, Eli broke a fever last night, him and his wife were at the hospital all night."

Olivia frowned, "Oh," she said softly, "The baby okay?"

"Yeah, poor little guy. Stabler said it was a fluke that he went into the baby's room anyway. Said that he just shot out of bed and ran into the nursery. Eli wasn't even crying, but he had a 103 temp. So, he and Kath rushed him to the hospital. They might be home now. Why don't you call his house?"

Olivia stood there a little confused. Wife? House? Did Elliot move back in with Kathy? No, he couldn't have…could he? She quickly walked away to find Munch. If anyone would know it would be Munch.

She could feel her hormones going AWOL with each step she took. Her heart began to race as her mind though of every horrible thing it could imagine, "John!" she hollered when she saw him by there desks.

"Hey Liv, what's up?"

"Uh, Okay…uh…" shit, she didn't know what to say with out sounding, psycho, or pathetic. She decided to just bite the bullet and ask, "Did Elliot move back home?" She finally struggled out.

John looked at her, and she knew immediately what the answer was. Her face must have said it all because Munch quickly defended his friend, "Just because he needed a place to stay."

Olivia quickly held back the tears that were filling her eyes making it impossible to see straight, "Right." she said and walked away towards the cribs.

Porter witnessing all of this quickly followed her. He swore to God that when he got his hands on Stabler he was going to kill him; just fucking murder him.