Chapter 18

"…and I don't even have a place to stay," she sobbed, "I just thought we would live together." Olivia had her head on Dean's shoulder as she cried her pregnant heart out, "God, I'm so stupid."

Dean rubbed her back softly, "You're not stupid, Olivia. He's stupid; Elliot is stupid!"

Olivia ran her hands over her tear stained face, "What am I going to do Dean? I don't even have a place to stay."

Dean smiled, "See that I can help you with. You stay with me," you could see the look of fear on Olivia's face from a mile away, it made Dean smile, because that was the Olivia he knew and fell in love with, "Well you sure is hell can't stay in the crib. Come on, the feds set me up with a sublet. Besides it will just be until you find a new place."

The thought of having to search for a new apartment was more than Olivia could bear. She'd have to make sure it had two bedrooms, one for her and one for her poor bastard child. Oh God, she was a wreck. Her shoulders shook violently in Dean's arms as she tried to imagine raising Elliot's child, with out Elliot.

"I can't believe he didn't even come. I mean he at least owed you that. What a fucking coward."

His words didn't help soothe her; they just made her cry harder. She was devastated and she didn't know what to do. She was thankful when she heard on a knock on the crib door and Casey's voice on the other end.

Dean left her side to open the door. He whispered something to Casey and walked out of the crib, "Liv? Honey, what's wrong?" Casey said as she quickly made her way over to the cot.

"Everything," she sobbed out as her friend took her into her arms, "everything."

EOEOEOEOEO

He ran as fast as he could from the parking lot to the station house. He took the stairs not even wanting to deal with the wait for the elevator. He didn't have time to stand around; he had to keep moving, moving until he saw her.

He had been stuck on the Brooklyn Bridge for the past 2 and half hours. He was livid that he missed her homecoming; even more livid that his cell battery had died. He was at the airport. He had even arrived on time. He was ready for her to get off the plane with a dozen roses in his hand. However, she never got off the plane. She had never come. His heart broke when he realized that maybe she wasn't coming home. Maybe something had happened and she would not be returning to him today. His heart sank.

He then however, decided to call the station house from a payphone and see if she got on another flight or something. Of course it turned out that he was at the wrong airport. She was flying into JFK, he was at La Guardia. He had never been so happy about his idiocy; however it didn't take him long to become infuriated with himself when he realized he wasn't going to get to see her before she got to the precinct.

He was also furious because he couldn't find the car charger to his phone. He cursed himself for forgetting to charge it the previous night. Getting caught on the Brooklyn Bridge was just the icing on the cake.

EOEOEOEOEO

"Where is she?" He panted as he entered the room. All eyes immediately turned to stare at him.

Cragen walked up to him and patted his shoulder, "You just missed her."

"Goddamnit!" He roared, "Where is she?" All eyes looked away, no one wanted to be the bearer of the bad news, "Cap, where did she go?"

"She left with Porter, that's all I know." Cragen replied.

"Son of a bitch," he said under his breath, "give me his number."

"She seemed pretty upset…" Lake said.

Elliot walked over to him and stared him down, "Give me his number."

"He's subletting a place on 5th." Munch said walking over to them before Elliot broke the bloke in half. He handed Elliot a piece of paper with his address on it and offered him a small smile. He leaned in so that only Elliot could here, "she thinks you got back together with, Kathy. At least that is what Casey told me."

"Fuck," Elliot said under his breath, he grabbed his cell phone charger and was gone.

EOEOEOEOEOEO

"Olivia! Olivia!" Elliot shouted as he banged on Porter's door. "Porter, open up!"

Porter opened the door in a huff, "Could you keep your voice down! For Christ sake!"

Out of breath from running up the five flights of stairs, Elliot leaned against the door frame and grasped for air, "Please, just tell me: is she here?"

"She was, but Casey came to pick her up a couple of minutes ago. She--" But Porter didn't finish because Elliot was already gone.

EOEOEOEOEO

He sat outside Casey's door for 2 hours and 14…no, 15 minutes. He had called Casey about 12 times but it went straight to her voicemail each time. Fuck it, he would wait out here for a month if that is what it took. How could Olivia think that he would go back to Kathy? Is that what everyone in the office thought? Of course they did, he was living with her…

He really needs to talk to Olivia. God, she must think he is the biggest asshole in the entire world. First he didn't show up at the airport, then the party, and then she heard that he got back together with Kathy! He pulled out his cell again and called Munch.

"Tell me you're with Casey and Olivia."

"I'm with Casey and Olivia."

"You are!?" Elliot exclaimed.

"No."

"God damnit, Munch! Do you know where they are?" and just as he spoke those words he saw Olivia pull up to the curb in a cab, "never mind," he told Munch and hung up the phone.

She looked gorgeous, breathtaking. He didn't know if it was because he hadn't seen her in awhile, or if-- Jesus, was she always this beautiful? She was stunning, she was glowing, and she was smiling…until she saw him.

She couldn't look him in the eyes, and she tried to dodge passed him, "Stay away from me you son of a bitch," she hollered as she walked up to the door.

"Olivia! Wait!" Elliot called after her, following her up the stairs and to the door, "Just let me explain, please just let me explain," he begged.

"Explain what?! That you forgot about me the second you left me? That everything you said to me was just a lie!" She was crying now and she hated herself for it. She promised herself she wasn't going to cry; fucking hormones, "Explain that you moved in with your WIFE the second you got back to New York! Explain that everything you told me was a lie! That you never loved me! That--"

"Stop! Olivia, just stop. I'm not back together with Kathy, I'm not." He paused to see if she was listening, she was so he continued, "Everything I said wasn't a lie, Liv. I love you, how could you think that I didn't?"

"Where were you? You didn't even have the audacity to show up to my 'Welcome Back' party!"

"I tried, Liv! I tried!" He grabbed her arm, "I messed up." He took a deep breath, now that he had her full attention he had to get this just right, "I went to La Guardia," He rubbed his hands over his face, "Liv, I went to fucking La Guardia instead of JFK…I stood there, waiting for you--and you never came, and I thought I had lost you again…" He placed his hands on his hips, "By the time I figured it out I sped to the precinct, Liv. I ran! I freaking ran! Of course you weren't there…so I went to Porters--"

"You went to Porter's?" She asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Yeah, and then I came here, and I have been waiting here now for," he looked at his watch, "2 hours and 26 minutes."

"You're living with, Kathy."

Elliot put up his hand, "No, I'm temporary staying with my kids. I'm living in the basement, Liv."

She looked up at him with those doe eyes that drew him to her, "Why?"

A dazzling smile appeared on his face, "Trust me?"

"I don't know why I should," she huffed. They both caught each others eyes and she smiled, and he knew. Of course she trusted him, with her life she trusted him.

He held out his hand, "Follow me."

She didn't take it right away, and in those 3 seconds that she hesitated; Elliot's heart froze and his chest fell to the floor. His eyes, for the first time looked down at the cement and not at her. He thought he was going to lose her, and he just got her back; but then he felt it, her palm in his.

EOEOEOEOEO

"Where are we going, Elliot?" She asked him as they walked. They had been walking for 15 minutes, in silence, and she was getting more nervous with each step.

He pulled her hand up to his lips and kissed it, "You said you trusted me."

Olivia smiled, "I do trust you, but my leg is killing me. Can we please take a cab?"

Elliot stopped and all the color dropped from his face, "Oh my God! Liv, you must think I'm a complete jackass! I totally forgot about your leg! The cast is off! How does it feel? Are you okay? Does it hurt?"

Olivia couldn't help but laugh, "Elliot, relax. My leg is okay, I'm just not back to par yet." She said, and she wasn't lying. Although the real reason she had to stop walking wasn't so much because of her leg, but her swelling belly, which he has yet to notice…

EOEOEOEO

A ten minute cab ride later and Elliot told the cabbie to pull over. "You really thought we were going to walk all this way?" Olivia teased as she tried to get out of the cab as gracefully as she could. Thankfully Elliot was too busy paying the guy to notice her.

"You ready?" He asked as he took her hand.

"Ready for what? Where the hell are we, Elliot? Queens? You took me to fucking Queens? Please tell me you are not taking me to yours and Kathy's house, because I swear to God, Elliot--"

Elliot placed his finger to Olivia's lips, "Relax, would you?" He said as he took a step closer to her closing the gap between them.

The contact from his finger on her lips sent her body through the loop. She wondered if he felt it too…and he had. Because his face was so close to hers she thought she might burst, "You believe me, Liv, don't you? That everyday you were gone, I thought about you, and wished for you to return? That I couldn't even sleep for days at a time, and the kids made me go see a shrink and Jesus Liv…."

But she cut him off with her lips, crashing them dramatically on his. He opened his mouth to hers instantly and allowed her tongue to take complete control. Her hands ran up his chest, but she flinched when she felt his hands run up her sides. She quickly broke the kiss and smiled nervously at him.

"I can't believe you went to La Guardia, you really are a jackass. Now tell me where the hell we are."

Elliot looked at the house in front of them. It was a two story house with white siding and royal blue trimming. There was a brand new wrap around porch attached, that was only half painted. Elliot walked them closer to the house, "It needed a lot of work," he said as he looked over at Liv, who was in awe. "It needed all new plumbing, electrical and duct work. My brother James is pretty good with his hands, he's been helping me. It's pretty much done…just a few minor things," he smiled and pointed to the porch.

"This is yours? You bought this house?" She asked looking at him with wide eyes.

Elliot grabbed her hands and kissed them, "Ours…if you want?"

"What?"

Elliot laughed, for a Detective she could play pretty dumb sometimes, "Want to see inside?" He asked taking her hand and walking towards the door.

"Elliot, wait." She said pulling back, "You're really not back together with, Kathy?"

He took his hand and lifted her chin up, so he could look into her beautiful eyes, "No, definitely not. Olivia--I love you, I have for a long time now. Damnit, I bought a house for us! I want to live with you, I want to marry you…Christ, Liv…I want you to carry my child! I want a little super baby Benson running around here! Do you know how many nights I would pass out here?" he couldn't help but laugh, "after working all day, I would come here to fix this or that…and I would think…'I have to get this done before she comes home.' I would work even harder, work faster…and then…I would just stop because I didn't know when you were coming home…if ever…and that thought…Jesus, Liv…it literally killed me."

She pulled Elliot into her and kissed him deeply, "I missed you so much, El. God, I missed you so much." She said as she continued to kiss him deeply on the mouth, "did you really mean all that, El? I mean, do you really see us…you know…married…with…um children?"

Elliot smiled and tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear, "white haired, with little grandkids running around." He took her hand and led her towards the front door, "Come on, I want to show you the inside."

He turned to move, but his hand jerked back. Realizing that she wasn't following Elliot frowned, "are you okay? Did I say too much? Shit Liv, I didn't mean to scare you…" Damnit, he probably scared her. He knew how commitment phobed she was, why did he have to say all that stuff? He was such a jackass.

She waved her hand in front of her face, "no…no…you're wonderful," and here came the tears again, "this is all so wonderful," she said as she gestured towards the house, "I can't believe you did all this."

"I would do anything for you, Liv." He said as he roped his hands around her and pulled her into a giant hug. He smelled her hair and smiled, "I'm so glad you're home. I missed you so much," he kissed the top her head, "God, Liv. You have no idea how much I missed you."

Olivia held onto Elliot like she was never going to let him go, and that was just fine with him. Her arms were wrapped so tight around him he almost couldn't breathe. He felt her lips press against his neck and her warm breath on his ear, "I missed you so much too." She brought her head back so she could look into his eyes before she pressed her lips to his. She let her lips just press against his before she broke them apart with her tongue and deepens the kiss.

Elliot pulled back and just stared at her. He didn't know what exactly it was, but something was different about her, he pressed his lips to her forehead and grabbed her hand, "come on," he said and they walked towards the door.