Title: Goodbye

Rating: PG-13 due to language

Disclaimer: I don't own these characters. They're all Stephenie Meyers'.

Summary: In preparation for the big change, Bella says goodbye.

The next few days were full of preparations and planning. Before I knew it, it had been four nights since the wedding. Tonight was the scheduled time for me to begin my "decent into eternal damnation" as Edward has so uncooperatively titled it. My rusty pick-up truck grumbled along the road with Edward's shiny Volvo sliding along gracefully in my rearview mirror. We had decided it best to leave my truck with Charlie, seeing as it would likely not make it to Denali in one piece.

I ran over the story one more time in my head as we drew closer and closer to Charlie's house. He must have been expecting this, since he was under the impression that I would be attending college in Alaska. My truck screeched to a halt in front of the ordinary Swan residence that I no longer called home. Edward was beside my door, letting me out before my key was even out of the ignition.

"I'll be right out here waiting." He assured me. He was very understanding of the fact that I needed to do this alone, for the most part, that is.

I nodded and shakily stepped out of the truck. This is the last time I would see my father. As ready as I was to make the change, giving up Charlie, Renee, and even Jacob were the hardest parts of the decision. I stepped on to the porch and suddenly realized that I didn't know whether to knock or just enter. I hesitated for a moment and then just let myself in. I knew Charlie wouldn't mind, but I still felt like an unannounced visitor.

"Charlie?" I called out.

"Bella!" His voice came from the kitchen. He was eating a TV dinner when I walked in. I suddenly felt very guilty for not teaching him how to cook.

"Hey dad, I just came by to-"

"Say goodbye?" He finished for me.

"Yeah, but….how did you-"

"Jacob warned me that you would be leaving soon." I froze. " He told me that he had something for me to give you, but he never made it over here to actually give it to me. Billy says he has been shut up in his room all week."

"Did Jacob tell you why I was leaving?" I edged.

"Well the reason is rather obvious." He explained. "You can't really stay here when your college is in another state."

I exhaled in relief.

"Yeah, we have a house in Denali, which is only a ten minute drive from campus. Which reminds me," I handed him the keys in my hand. "The truck wont be able to make it to Denali, I think I'm going to have to leave it here." He nodded and accepted the keys from my outstretched hand.

"Is Carlisle helping Edward and you pay for the house?" He questioned. I opened my mouth to speak but he stopped me with another question. "Are you guys going to be visiting your families on the weekends at all, or are you more focused on starting one of your own?"

"Oh…" Crap. I was hoping to avoid this part of the conversation. "Well…see, Esme bought the house and Carlisle got a job up there…so we are all kinda moving together."

"Oh, so you wont really be coming back here that often." His voice cracked with the pain that he was trying so desperately to hide.

"No, not really." I winced. "And, Edward and I will probably not have kids. I am not so fond of the idea." I lied. The truth of the matter was, Edward was close to 100 years old, his sperm was no longer fertile. Plus, it had taken on the consistency of a frozen slushy.

Charlie struggled to conceal his disappointment.

"When you guys leaving?" He mumbled.

"Well, we're leaving on our honeymoon today." I blushed at the words. "and then, we're just not coming back. The rest of the family will be moving in while we're gone."

"So I guess that makes this goodbye then." Charlie concluded.

"Yes." I felt the tears prickling at my eyes.

He cleared his throat and tried to make some more conversation.

"So, uh, where are you guys going on yer honeymoon?" He pushed his food aside and stood up.

"I don't know." I thought quickly. "Its supposed to be a surprise."

He nodded and we stood in silence for a moment.

"Well," his voice cracked. "I guess you probably have to get going then.." The pain in his voice was obvious. It was even worse considering that he was still under the impression that he would see me again, whereas I knew that this was the last time I would ever see my father. Tears streamed quietly down my face as I threw my arms around his neck. Charlie was never one for displaying emotion, but he hugged me back fiercely and emitted a half-concealed sob.

"I always knew this day would come, Bells, I just never imagined it would come so soon."

"I know dad, I'm sorry." I grimaced.

"No, Bella, don't be sorry. I couldn't have wished for you to be any better off. I know you will have a great life now, even considering the poor excuse I've been for a parent."

"Charlie Swan," I scolded. "You have been a great father. I couldn't have asked for a better parent."

"Thanks Bells. You've been a pretty enjoyable daughter yourself." I knew that I needed to strop this heart felt nonsense. It as only making things harder. Charlie seemed to sense my thoughts.

"Alright, Bella. Edward is waiting for you I see, you have to get going."

I threw a glance out the window. Edward stepped out of the Volvo and began trekking up the path. "Edward's going to say goodbye too."

He nodded his approval.

"Edward!" Charlie acknowledged as he entered. "Glad you came in."

"Sir." Edward addressed him as he grasped his hand firmly. "Ready to go?" He turned to me.

With tears still in my eyes, I nodded.

"Bye dad." I hugged him again.

"Goodbye, Bells." He turned to Edward. "Take good care of her."

"I will, Charlie. You have my word."

Charlie let one small tear escape his composed persona as he turned back to me one final time.

"I love you Bella."

"I love you too dad." I choked.

And with that, I turned and walked away with Edward at my side. The moment I was in the Volvo, the tears flowed freely. I watched Charlie stare out the window and hoped that he wouldn't be too hurt when I never returned. A couple of miles down the road, I noticed that my body was shaking with sobs. A fact that Edward hadn't failed to notice either. He slowed to car down and pulled over to the side of the road. In one too graceful movement, Edward pulled himself into the backseat and then pulled me from the passenger seat to his lap. He held me closely and stroked my hair as my tears dampened his t-shirt.

"Bella, you don't have to do this." He comforted me.

"Yes Edward, I do. I've made up my mind. The hardest part is over." I assured him.

"No. Its not." He disagreed.

"Edward, the three days of suffering is not going to be that ba-"

"Not that." He interrupted. "I meant Jacob."

"No." I dismissed the idea immediately. "I don't want to say goodbye to him."

"Bella, yes you do, even if you don't think so now, you will later - when it's too late. I won't let you go into this with any possible regrets if I can help it."

I shook my head in disbelief. Edward was actually suggesting that I give the boy who had enough nerve to kiss me at our wedding, blackmail me with one of the worst threats possible, and then spy on us the next morning a second thought!?

"No, Edward." I repeated. " I don't want to see Jacob. Not after he-"

"He didn't tell Charlie."

"But that doesn't change the other asinine things he did."

"Bella, the kid is in love with you. Give him a break, I would have done the same thing if the situation were reversed."

I knew I was going to lose this argument.

"Do you want me to drive you there?"

I shot him a dark glance.

"Alright," He edited. "you can take the Volvo, and I'll meet you at home."

It took me a moment to realize that he was completely serious.

"You're not going to give this up, are you?" I groaned.

"Nope."

"You can't know for sure if I actually talk to him." I muttered rebelliously under my breath,

He laughed out loud. "Bella, sweetheart, you know you can't lie worth a damn."

I scowled. He was right again. He lifted my chin with his fingertips and met my lips with his. "I win." He grinned.

"Yeah, yeah." I punched him lightly in the shoulder. The lack of force behind the gesture was more for my sake than his.

My emotions calmed as he continued to stroke my hair.

I sighed.

"Are you ready to get this over with?" He urged.

"You're awful." I accused.

"No regrets." He reminded me.

I glared at him for a moment before giving in.

"Fine." I muttered. "But I'm only going to say goodbye and then thank him for not telling Charlie."

"That's all I am asking you to do." He encouraged, "But Bella, promise me something."

"Sure."

"Don't punch him."

"I can't promise that, so I guess I just wont go." I replied slyly.

"Bella." He looked into my eyes with fierce contact.

"UGH! Fine. I'll go talk to him and I wont punch his sorry ass no matter how much he deserves it."

"Good." He kissed my forehead. "I'll see you when you get home." With that, he gracefully deposited me in the front seat and in a moment he was gone.

My angry expression was useless in his absence. I started the Volvo in defeat. It was strange to drive anything other than the truck. The Volvo smoothly glided out onto the road and took off in the direction of La Push. I focused my thoughts on calming my anger and holding back my tears so that I didn't look like a pansy in front of any more people than I already had today. All too quickly, I drove into Jacob's driveway. I hesitated a moment before I stepped out onto the pavement.

Billy answered the door cautiously and when he was certain that the Volvo's only passenger was me, he let me in.

Without returning my greeting, Billy yelled out- "Jacob!! Get out here, you got company!"

No response. Billy shot me an accusatory glare.

"He probably wont come out. He hasn't spoken to anyone in four days."

I was about to open my mouth in defense when I was cut off by the sudden explosion from the door behind me.

"Where is he!?" I recognized Embry's voice immediately. "If he doesn't stop thinking about those two in bed together, I swear I'm going to…." He stopped short when his eyes fell on me.

"Bella." His eyes narrowed as he spoke my name.

I comprehended the situation carefully. Apparently, Jacob had been thinking a lot about what he had witnessed when he spied on us four days ago. I felt bad suddenly, realizing that - as their thoughts were connected, all of his brother werewolves were being subjected to the memory also.

Embry tensed suddenly, he looked like he was ready to hit me. I winced reflexively.

Billy, sensing the tension, stepped in. "He is in his room, Bella." He directed. "Go ahead."

I hesitated a moment to shoot Embry a pleading glance. He just glared at me in disgust. I dismissed myself and picked my way through the familiar house to his room.

I knocked once, twice, no response. I cautiously let myself in to the room. His room was a mess. Crumpled paper and clothes were strewn everywhere. He was asleep on the bed, or so it appeared. He could be a better actor than me, I realized. I picked up a crumpled piece of paper to throw at his head and was about to do so when I noticed my name written sloppily on the inside of it.

Suddenly curious, I opened the piece of paper and read the scrawled words inside of it.

BELLA,

I AM SO SORRY THAT I HAVE BEEN SUCH AN ASS, I

I frowned and picked up another one.

BELLA,

PLEASE DON'T DO THIS. I LOVE YOU TOO MUCH TO LOSE YOU LIKE THIS

I KNOW THAT MY FEELINGS DON'T MEAN MUCH TO YOU, BELLA, BUT

DON'T LET HIM DO THIS TO YOU…. PICK ME

Intrigued, I chose another off of the ground.

BELLA,

I AM SO SORRY THAT I RUINED YOUR WEDDING. IT WAS RUDE AND SELFISH

OF ME. I JUST CAN'T BEAR TO LOSE YOU LIKE THIS. DON'T YOU EVER WONDER

WHAT-IF? ITS NOT TOO LATE TO FIND OUT BELLA, BUT IF YOU GO THROUGH

WITH THIS

"The actual letter is right there." His calm voice startled me. I jerked my head up and found him sitting on his bed pointing to a neatly folded letter on his night stand. I picked my way carefully through the graveyard of crumpled papers and sat next to him. I hesitantly looked between him and the square of paper.

"Go ahead." He permitted. I picked up the letter and rotated it in my hands a few times before starting.

"Jake-"

"Just read it, Bella."

I studied his perfectly composed face for a moment before awkwardly fumbling around with the simple folds. This letter was much longer than the other ones.

BELLA,

YOU WILL PROBABLY NEVER COME BACK HERE TO SEE ME AFTER ALL

OF THE CRAP I HAVE SUBJECTED YOU TO LATELY. I'M SORRY FOR THAT.

I REALIZE THAT I WAS OUT OF LINE AT YOUR WEDDING AND I APOLOGIZE.

YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND THOUGH, BELLA, I ONLY DID THOSE THINGS

BECAUSE I LOVE YOU.. I KNOW THAT YOU DON'T FEEL THE SAME WAY, OR

AT LEAST, YOU CLAIM THAT YOU DON'T.

AS MUCH AS I WOULD LIKE YOU TO NOT ALLOW HIM TO STEAL YOUR

LIFE, I UNDERSTAND WHY HE HAS CONVINCED YOU TO. IF I HAD YOU, I

WOULD WANT TO KEEP YOU FOR FOREVER TOO. I COULDN'T LET THE

WEDDING BE THE LAST MEMORY THAT YOU HAD OF ME, SO I HAD TO AT

LEAST WRITE. I UNDERSTAND IF YOU JUST WANT TO TEAR THIS PAPER UP,

BUT BEFORE YOU DO, I NEED YOU TO KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU.. I WOULD

ALWAYS HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU, BUT IF HE CHANGES YOU, I WILL

NEVER BE ABLE TO SAFELY SEE YOU AGAIN. WE WOULD BE ENEMIES THEN,

AND THOSE ARE NOT THE CONDITIONS I EVER WANT TO SEE YOU UNDER.

I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU THOUGH, NO MATTER WHAT YOU BECOME.

ITS NOT TOO LATE TO CHANGE YOUR MIND, BELLA. I'M STILL HERE, AND

AS LONG AS YOUR HEART IS STILL BEATING, I WILL BE WAITING FOR YOU.

WITH ALL MY LOVE, JACOB.

I reread it about four times, making sure to soak in every detail before I spoke. I brought up the most important point first.

"Jacob, Edward doesn't want to change me."

The confusion was written clearly all over his face.

"Then….why-"

"This is my decision." I explained. "This is what I want."

"But, why would you want something like that?"

"Alright Jake. I will put this in perspective for you. Lets say that this was some type of alternate reality, and I was in love with you and not Edward." He fought to suppress his grin. "Now, lets say that I was immortal and you were not. Wouldn't you, if there was any way possible, want to become immortal also, so you could stay with me for longer?"

He frowned. "I guess I understand where you are coming from."

I sighed in relief. That was easier than I had expected.

"Aren't you scared?" His voice came out as a whisper.

"Yes." I replied honestly. He looked at me questioningly.

"I'm scared Jake. I'm scared about a lot of things. I'm scared of the pain, I'm scared f losing Charlie, and you. But more than anything, I am scared to lose him again. I'm scared to be without Edward."

Jacob frowned again.

"You know what happened to me the last time I was without him." I reminded him.

"You were a mess." He admitted.

I nodded. "I'm not able to lose him again, Jake. I am not strong enough to handle it. I have to do everything I can to stay with my husband now. He is my life."

"You were a mess." He repeated.

I just nodded again.

"Is that what it will be like….for me, when you leave?"

My stomach dropped. Leaving him seemed so much more cruel when he said it like that. I felt awful.

"Not if you don't let it." I fought tears. "And it is your choice not to see me again." I reminded him.

"No, Bella. I would never chose that. No matter what you become. The reason I can't see you again is in the interest of your own lif…..existence." He corrected himself. "If they bite you, the treaty is broken and I am bound by nature to look at you as an enemy. No matter how much I love you…." He trailed off.

"Yeah." I responded glumly.

"So if your actually going to go through with this," He threw me a pleading glance. "Then I guess this is goodbye."

"Not yet." I waved off the idea. "You're not done apologizing to me. I'm waiting for-"

"I already said I was sorry." He gestured to the letter in my hands.

"No, not for everything." I shot back coldly, "you neglected to apologize for spying on us."

He instantly froze. "How did you-?"

"Jacob, did you honestly forget that my husband can read minds."

"Damnit." He muttered.

I shook my head in disgust.

"Bella, I'm sorry. I was just hoping that if he was unable to perform…."

"JAKE!" I scolded harshly, "Did you HONESTLY think that I would leave him if he couldn't have sex with me?!"

"I wanted to make sure that he didn't kill you in the process too…" He muttered under his breath.

"You're ridiculous." I groaned.

"Well thank you very much for making it very clear that neither of those scenarios occurred." The sarcasm was heavy in his words.

"Really, Jake, you're a glutton for punishment." I scowled. "Why must you be such a masochist?"

He just stared at his feet in response.

"So is that it then?" He finally spoke. "Are you actually going to do this?"

"Yes, Jake. My mind has been made up."

"What if I begged?"

"Oh, please don't. You'll only make a fool of yourself."

"Well then," He stood. "I guess this is it."

I rose with him. Tears filled my eyes as he extended a hand for me to shake.

"Don't be absurd, Jake." I scolded as I flung my arms around his neck. He hugged me back, not opposing to my emotional reaction at all. He buried his head in my shoulder and I swear I heard a few half-hidden sobs.

"No matter what, Jake," I whispered. "You will always be my best friend."

"No matter what, Bella," He countered. "I will always love you."

We embraced each other silently for another moment before he spoke again, suddenly concerned.

"Where will you go?"

Oh! I had almost forgotten to relay the plans to him.

"Edward and I are leaving on our honeymoon tonight, and then we are moving to a new location."

The disbelief was apparent in his eyes, but he allowed it.

"Goodbye then, Bella."

"Should I write?"

"No, Bella, I think it would be best if you didn't." He whispered. Trying, no doubt, to disguise the torment in his voice beneath the silence.

"A clean break." I nodded. "Goodbye, Jacob. I'll miss you." I leaned forward and quickly kissed him on the cheek.

"Goodbye, Bells. I love you…"

The pain in his eyes was almost unbearable. I turned before I could witness anymore of his boiling hot tears and exited. After the door was shut, I whispered. "I love you too Jacob. Just not in the way you want me to."

I felt more tears coming. I dashed out of the house and locked myself securely in the Volvo. I managed to calm my tears until I was a few miles away from Jake. When I began to lose visibility of the road, I pulled over and gave in to my despair.

Edward had been right. I would have regretted not saying goodbye in the long run., even though it was definitely the hardest goodbye of all. I didn't know how long I had been sitting there before I finally restarted the car. I struggled to compose myself as I pulled up the Cullen driveway and into sight of my waiting husband.

He opened the door for me and helped me out. Using his ice-cold thumb, he wiped away the one remaining tear from my eye.

"You okay?" His concern was almost tangible.

I nodded.

"Are you sure you want to do this?"

I nodded again.

"You ready?"

"Are you?"

He held out his hand in response. I took it gingerly and allowed him to lead me into the house. Hand-in-hand, we ascended the stairs to our future.