I just want to thank all the people that have reviewed so far. You guys are great. Seriously, I would be like a tree without water, unable to sprout and let my branches spring into the sky, without you guys. Thanks for all the feedback. You're one amazing group of individuals : )

This chapter is SUPER short. Sorry. The next one is long, I promise.

You should listen to Cold Water by Damien Rice when you read this. It's what I listened to when I wrote it, and I used some lines from the song. It makes it like, 10X more emotional. : )

Warning: "Insanity, like fire, leaves burns. A scarred past, shattered dreams and broken melodies. Eating away until we've reached the middle of the bridge, and the wood beneath our feet is gone. There is no turning back now. When you've reached the end of the plank, there is no where to go but down."

I need to post that story somewhere..

Disclaimer: I'll bring Julian with me to the death. "The rest of our world, past and future, will be taken someplace where 'infection' can be solved with antiseptics. It does not belong to us, for our minds and hearts have been tainted with the blood of the Sick."

Man, I gotta post that. Oh well. It'll have to wait.

When you're sick with grief and fear, you're imagination can run wild.

When you throw anger and hate into the mix, everything goes down hill fast.

It had been two long weeks since his encounter with Julian, and he had yet to come up with any sort of lead whatsoever.

Rat's were skilled hiders, and though Abel, like a house cat, was skilled at finding rat holes, his vision seemed fogged.

Every day he blamed himself. If he hadn't been careless, Esther would not be suffering some grim misfortune. He simply could not tell himself otherwise.

But Leon argued otherwise. He would not be plagued with macabre tales of captivity and guilt. So Abel kept his complaining to himself, which only drove him closer to the edge.

His mind was deceiving, playing tricks and throwing nightmares into the waking world. It had been on more account than one that the guilt inspired Esther-apparation came to haunt his already troubled soul. Leon always woke to his frantic screams in the middle of the night.

Abel didn't know how much more his sanity could take. It was bowing under the constant stress. His mind was being torn asunder and his emotions were alive in wild paint. It was all making his sanity burst at the seams.

So he did what he always did when he was troubled. He would pray. Right now, he, Leon, and Tres sat in a small chapel just ouside of Barcelona. But lately, it didn't seem the Lord would help him. He was no fool as to claim the Lord was not there, but his prayers were left unanswered, and his troubles left to haunt him. It was punishment, he was sure of it.

It seemed he was on his own this time, an ultimate test of faith.

He was losing sleep. How could one rest when unrest settled beneath closed lids? Dreams brought nightmares, and nightmares brought serious tests of his sanity. He couldn't afford the luxury of a long night sleep, plagued with dreams of malevolent stones building a constant prison of hatred he remained in, and could not escape from.

Hate, for himself and for Julian, surrounded him now, like cold water. And he had no hand to hold onto. Falling, sinking to the bottom of the vast sea of emotion he had been thrown into. Drowning, gasping for a breath of happiness.

Could the Lord hear him now? Or was he lost?

A protector, he once was. And now what did he amount to?

A decrepit milksop. a shadow of what he once was, all because weakness chained him down.

Dreams shattered and life forever scarred, it was practically impossible for a heart to be strong.

He made himself sick. His existence was pitiful, and his weakness disgusted him to the point where he wanted to shatter it into a million pieces, to remove himself from this ruthful existence.

Abel looked about. Leon was silent next to him, a force radiating with quiet confidence and surety. Somehow, their situation did not taint his positivity that they would find Esther. Dark eyes stared ahead, his eyes daring the Lord himself to try to keep Esther from him and his companions forever. Tres, stared ahead as well, his operating systems buzzing silently beneath his human exterior, doing whatever it is they did, his face blank and stoic as ever.

Abel wished he could stay like them. Calm, confident, sane. But, as it was, he simply couldn't. Abel was the kind of person who would beat himself up about something gone wrong several years after the problem was solved. He held onto bad memories with a death grip, and constantly tried to make up for them in his every day actions.

He bowed his head and let his eyes drift closed, letting inner voice take over.

"Lord, I need you now. Please, help me find her. Don't leave me to do this alone, because I am not strong enough. Reveal the path the I must see, I beg you. I cannot lose my only light, my only love, my dear Esther."

And yet again, he felt nothing. No sense of calm or any feeling of released emotion.

Just a battered heart left to mend with broken string.

Short. Sorry. I'll get the next one up soon, promise.

Please review!