Shatter His Will

Wonderweiss walked with Ichigo. He wrapped an arm protectively around his waist and kept him walking in a straight line. He watched the others carefully as he walked with him. No one really stopped to question them, of course. They'd decided to walk through the area when it would be the least busy. It seemed a good idea. Truth and Pet were vying with each other for control, and neither one was giving, so Ichigo couldn't speak or do anything if he wanted to at the moment. The constant contention between the two shards of himself was causing him a great deal of pain and nausea, to be quite honest.

Truth saw the gates, and Pet tried to run. Truth held him tight, he was not going to let Pet ruin this. They had to break this illusion and he knew it.

Outwardly, Ichigo seemed to flinch as soon as they came to the gates but then just kept quiet, his head bowed low. Five years had changed him in so many ways, and he was not the boy that once stood near these gates. No, he was a different person. Byakuya walked behind them, purposefully keeping himself out of Ichigo's sight, just in case he broke into a panic before they got there. Rukia walked beside him, but also out of Ichigo's line of sight. Once he was safely inside, they could try and talk to him, and get him to respond, or at least they hoped.

They were led into a room, just a spare room that had been arranged for Ichigo go use. There was an extra futon as well, because they were under strict orders that he was never to be left on his own. He froze when he looked around. All the rooms were roughly the same, so the idea that Ichigo recognized it from the illusion wasn't far-fetched at all. He shook a little then closed his eyes, trying to clear his head it would seem.

"Not the same," he whispered finally, opening his eyes and looking around in earnest now.

Byakuya let a sigh he hadn't realized he was holding and entered the room cautiously. Ichigo looked up at him, eyes darting back and forth over his face and a shudder passing over him briefly before he gripped one hand in the other. Wonderweiss held tightly to his waist even as he stood there and looked around. It still seemed that Ichigo almost didn't acknowledge the Arrancar's existence entirely.

"Ichigo, would you like to have something to eat? I can have my cooks fix you anything you want," he said softly.

Ichigo blinked and looked around, stopping on each face.

"Pet…I can eat?" he said softly.

Rukia stepped forward slowly, her heart clenching at the words. "Of course, Ichigo, anything you want," she said softly, glancing up at her brother.

"I…I don't have to do anything?" he said again, looking around rapidly, suddenly appearing nervous and clutching his hands together tighter. Again, Pet was trying to assert control in an annoying need to submit to the people in this room.

Rukia fought the urge to cry. "No, why would you have to do something?"

"P-pets work f-for f-f-food," he whispered, not looking at any of them. "M-master said…only then…b-but he never gave what he p-promised, always took it away…wasn't good enough…"

Byakuya bit his lip almost to the point of bleeding. "Ichigo, you are here as a guest, you can have anything you want to eat."

Ichigo looked at Byakuya curiously, trying desperately to separate the vision of the cruel Master from the calm and stoic man before him. "Chocolate?" he said softly. He glanced at Wonderweiss briefly then looked at Byakuya with expectant eyes.

Rukia started to say something about that not being the best thing and Byakuya put a hand on her to stop her. "What do you want made out of chocolate, Ichigo?"

He shook his head, then turned away. He really didn't know. He just wanted proof that this was real. Master would never bring him something like that. Truth even agreed with that. While he thought what his eyes told him was real, he still doubted it, even though not nearly as much as Pet or the others would have. And if this person that mirrored the master would bring him something like that, then he would know it wasn't the master staring at him.

Ichigo stood, staring out of the room into the open garden until Byakuya came back with a covered tray. Wonderweiss had gone out into the small garden and was sitting in the middle of it smelling flowers. Ichigo watched him, a curious look on his face. Byakuya sat the tray down on a small table and smiled at Ichigo. It had been hard to get the servants to relinquish the food to him personally, but they relented, allowing him to take it himself. No reason for more people to intrude on Ichigo, especially ones that would go around calling him Kuchiki-sama in front of Ichigo.

"I found some candy bars, and there was a small bit of a chocolate cake left from this week's dinner party," he said as he pulled off the cover.

Ichigo looked it over, and a hint of a smile twitched at the corner of his mouth as he reached out and touched the items on the tray. It wasn't a lot, and it certainly wasn't a meal, but he grabbed one piece of the candy and began to eat it, sucking the bar rather than biting into it. He obviously enjoyed it quite a bit, though because he had a look of pleasure on his face they hadn't seen yet.

Byakuya glanced over at Rukia who was sitting on the other futon. She smiled softly as he ate the proffered chocolate and then the small piece of cake. He didn't want to overload him, especially with sweet western foods. Eventually he was licking the remaining chocolate from his fingers thoughtfully.

Truth knew this wasn't the same Master. But what if he was fooling him? Pet continued to whine in his mind and say these things. For a second Fighter seemed to chide them both for being idiots. Still, none of them, none of Ichigo, could help it. Master was everything, his entire world. He lived only to serve him. He shook his head. No. No, he didn't. He never did. It was so confusing and he was having such a hard time dragging himself up from his own mind.

Byakuya and Rukia watched the struggle going on in Ichigo's mind and it broke both their hearts that they couldn't fight this battle for him. Instead, he eventually went out into the garden where Wonderweiss was. He sat down on a bench and Wonderweiss got up and started trying to put flowers in Ichigo's hair.

-oooooo-OOOOOO-oooooo-

Dammit. He couldn't concentrate. He rolled the pen in his mouth, leaving teeth marks as he stared at the papers on his desk dumbly. He looked up at the clock. It was coming on afternoon and he still hadn't finished his paper for classes this week. He swallowed. His mind wasn't here, it was in Soul Society. He was worried about Ichigo. Finally, Uryū stood up and wandered out of the house. He needed some air. He stopped when he got to the soccer field and watched some of the younger kids play for a while.

"Uryū, hey," came a voice, and he looked to see it was Keigo. He smiled ad walked up with his hands in his pockets. "Yo man, what's up. Long time no see. How are you?"

Uryū sighed. "Been better. Worried over a few things, is all."

"I heard Ichigo came back to town. He didn't come visit though," he said sadly. "You see him?"

Uryū swallowed a thick ball and nodded. "Um, yeah. I did."

"How is he? I heard he went off to Tokyo and is living some artist's life or something. Painting, of all things," he said with a smirk. "Never saw that coming. He never did well in art at all."

Kon, not Ichigo, Uryū said in his head. "He's a bit different, but still him, you know."

Keigo stood and watched the kids playing. "Something bothers you," he said finally.

"Yeah, a big something," he said with a sigh.

Keigo was quiet for a while. "Uryū," he said finally. "What…" He stopped. "I'll understand if you can't tell me. But I know…for a long time…that isn't Ichigo. Not really."

Uryū's head snapped toward him without meaning to do so. Sometimes he forgot Keigo was slightly spiritually aware. He smiled sadly. "Yeah. Not really. The artist is a bit different, you know, than the person we used to know."

"So…what happened to him?" he asked. Uryū knew he didn't mean Kon.

"Thought he was gone, dead. So sure of it, but he isn't," he said quietly. "What's left…" Uryū sighed deeply now. "It is so different and so broken."

Keigo nodded. "Sometimes, broken things are prettier than new ones, you know." Keigo smiled and handed Uryū something. Uryū looked at it. It was a packet of gold filler, the kind used to fix broken pots. "I started helping repair pottery a few weeks ago at a shop. I thought it was stupid, you know, why fix a broken pot instead of just buying a new one. I mean, all that work, just to fix something easily replaced. But then, I got to realizing…broken doesn't mean it can't be valuable and fixed. This old lady, she came in last week. She had this tea pot. When she handed it to me, it had cracked into three pieces, but I could see it had been broken several times already, you know. I asked why she kept fixing it." Keigo nodded to himself it seemed. "She just said it had history. She'd gotten it on her wedding day, and she'd dropped it when she went into labor with her oldest daughter. Then she'd knocked it from the table when her husband had a heart attack. And this time, her little granddaughter had pulled it off the living table. So there was a lot to it. So we fixed it. And when I looked at it, with all those gold filled cracks, I thought about all those things that the old woman saw in that pot."

Uryū nodded. "What are you telling me this for?"

"Just…go for what you want, Uryū. Not what everyone thinks you should. If…if you know where Ichigo is, and he's broken, then maybe you could help fix him a little."

Keigo walked away and he wasn't sure how to feel about getting wisdom from him. But he supposed, they all had changed a lot along the way. He knew what he should do. He made the slow walk to the Kurosaki house. He knocked and Kon answered with a smile.

"Oh, Uryū, didn't expect you," he said and let him in. Uryū could see past the smile. He knew too well the pain that was hidden behind it.

"Who is it?" came Yuzu's voice.

"It's Uryū," Kon answered as they came into the house.

"Uryū!" she said as she came out. "Show me the bow thing! They said I could see it if you did it for me!"

Uryū blinked. "Bow thing?"

Kon sighed. "Isshin gave the girls the whole story, so they know about Quincies, and that their mother was one. So she's been bugging us to death about it since she can't see her father as a Shinigami, obviously."

Uryū frowned, but shook his head and turned, manifesting his bow. Yuzu squealed loudly enough to bring Karin running from the back of the house. She rolled her eyes as Uryū dropped his arm with a shake of his head. He looked up to see Isshin coming down in soul form.

"Uryū-kun, you've come just in time. We were about to head to Soul Society. Would you like to come with us? Kon, Seras, and Aiko are going, and the girls are going to cover for me here at the clinic, saying I'm on vacation," he said as he walked toward the door, opening it just as Renji was about to knock.

"Kurosaki-san, are you ready?" he asked with a strange look. The fact that he hadn't even gotten to knock rattling him a bit.

"I am, Uryū will be coming along," he said.

Uryū blinked. He hadn't actually said he was going, he thought, but he would. He followed them out and a few minutes later Kon and his two companions emerged. They followed Renji through the senkaimon and back into Soul Society. As they stepped out into the other world, Uryū felt his heart hammer in his chest. He didn't know what to expect. He glanced at Renji.

"Is…is he still at the fourth?" he asked.

Renji shook his head. "Um, no, we moved him to Kuchiki Manor. Come, we'll be putting you all up there as well. It will be best for him to have people around."

Renji led them all in, showing Kon, Seras, and Aiko to their room first, then leading Isshin and Uryū outside where Rukia was sitting outside the partially opened doorway to Ichigo's room. She looked up at them with a sad smile.

"Any progress?" Isshin asked as he sat down on the path beside her. Uryū stood near the door, unsure if he should go in and see to him or wait and let Isshin tend him if need be.

She sighed. "Nii-sama gave him some chocolate earlier, and he seemed to feel a little better. But when we asked what he wanted, he was shocked he could ask for food. And then he said something about having it taken away. I get the impression that Aizen would offer him something and then take it away just to cause him pain." She glanced at the late afternoon sky. "He was exhausted, but we finally managed to get him to lie down with that Arrancar's help."

There was a soft moan in the room behind them. Since the door was partially slid open, they could see he was thrashing in his sleep. Rukia and Isshin stood up and went in. Uryū followed them. The last Rukia wanted was him trying to flay the skin off his arms in his sleep again. She kneeled beside him as his breathing hitched and he muttered under his breath. She wanted to touch him, but she wasn't sure if that would help or hurt at the moment.

Then his eyes flashed open and he stared at her and started to hyperventilate immediately. "No! Leave me alone…" he gasped in between panting breaths and covered his eyes, pushing backward into the wall behind him. Rukia stepped back, a twinge at her heart. He was more coherent, at least.

Uryū saw him starting to tear at his hair, frowning when he came away with a hand full of orange strands. He didn't think, really, only reacted. He had barely registered that on the other side of the room, the purple eyed Arrancar was crouched and watching them. Uryū just reached out and grabbed both his wrists to pull them away from his head. Ichigo fixed him with an intense stare, but didn't flinch away.

"I-Uryū?" he asked, looking around him, seemingly lost. "Uryū," he said again more sure of himself this time. "Uryū. Uryū…" he kept repeating.

Rukia looked at the Quincy and nodded at him. Uryū carefully sat down on the low futon, not letting go of his wrists where he lightly gripped them. Ichigo was still nodding and repeating his name at random times, looking around the room, pointedly avoiding Rukia at all costs. His eyes also seemed to skip over Isshin's presence as well as the Arrancar. Finally, his eyes came up and met Uryū's again. He looked at where his hands were gripping his wrists and he turned his hands around in the grip and brushed his hands over Uryū's carefully, as though the other man's hands were fragile. He looked up and nodded.

"Stay?" he asked quietly. "Uryū…safe."

To say that you could have knocked Uryū over with a feather was an understatement. He nodded slowly to his friend and saw him relax his back; his hands still lay on top of the Quincy's own. He nodded again, more sure then dropped back to the bed, but as soon as Uryū started to stand, he felt a frantic hand on his leg and saw the wide eyed stare in Ichigo's eyes. He bit down on his lip and nodded, sitting back down, Ichigo's hand not moving this time from Uryū's leg. And then, moments passed, and he had settled into a quiet sleep.

Rukia looked at Uryū. "I'll find you a pillow or two, that's the calmest I've seen him."

"But why?" he asked, looking down at the face that he had thought he knew and at one time hated just for being a Shinigami.

She smiled. "Uryū, you weren't there. Aizen didn't use you to torture him. You, Urahara, Chad, Orihime…he feels like you're safe, where he's still trying to separate in his head that the illusion of us and the real us here in soul society are different things. I'm sure he would have reacted the same way with the others. He just needs to feel human contact again, Unohana said. Contact not equated with pain."

"I thought that once the cuffs were removed, he'd, you know, be normal again, he's still talks like a child…" he said, thoughtfully, now dropping a hand onto his head. He almost fliched and glanced to see Isshin watching him. Was it odd for him to be doing this with Isshin's son? He felt somewhat embarrassed to be showing such outward affection.

A presence at the doorway made them all look up. It was Byakuya watching. "Unohana-Taichou told me that his mind is mended, but he is used to acting a certain way. Breaking those habits will take time. He's finally stopped calling himself pet, and is using I to refer to himself. It isn't much, but she says it is a marked improvement. His entire consciousness was nearly crushed, so it has to take time."

Byakuya sighed, nodding to Isshin and left them. Rukia went to retrieve the pillows and returned with them. Isshin said nothing but eventually went to his own room to do some thinking of his own. He understood all the things that Unohana had said, but there were inconsistencies. It was almost like there were differing versions of his son. He worried at that, but it was a discussion come the next day. For not, he wanted to head into the Rukogai and find some pho and sake.

After Isshin left, and Rukia handed over the pillows, Uryū nodded to her. He took the offered pillows and put them behind his back. He leaned against the wall and sighed. He'd stretched his legs out across the futon, and Ichigo had fallen asleep against his leg with one hand clutching his thigh. It wasn't that uncomfortable, and for some reason, he was happy that he could be the one to offer him some security while they tried to return Ichigo's mind to a stable condition. He ran his fingers through the tangled, long orange hair. It was still somewhat dingy, as they hadn't gotten him into a real bath yet, just sponged him off while he was out. He figured that would be the first step in the morning. Sleep eventually found him, and his mind drifted away.

-oooooo-OOOOOO-oooooo-

Kon settled in on the futon between Seras and Aiko. Niether had spoken much, nor had they mentioned Kon's choice not to see Ichigo again today. It was late afternoon when they had arrived, and since then, Kon had busied himself setting up their temporary lodging. He'd grabbed a backpack with some things that they'd need, but he knew Byakuya ad Rukia would provide anything else that they needed. As night had fallen, they had sat on the decking and watched the night. Kon had told his partners a little about Soul Society, and they had in turn explained some things about themselves to him.

He guessed now it made sense why they had never been bothered by the odd thigns that he said or did. Since they were aware of hollows, as well as all the other things in the world, it wasn't that surprising to find out how different Kon was to others.

"Will…will you stay with me?" Kon said as they snuggled into each other.

Aiko snorted. "Of course, Kon, why wouldn't we? We love you."

Kon sighed. "I just, I'll be different, and you know now, I…I'm not even human to start with…"

"We told you what we were, Kon. We aren't going to reject you for being something besides human," Seras said as she nuzzled into the hollow of his neck from the front.

They generally slept on either side of him, with Aiko lying behind Kon. Their relationship was not conventional in any means, but more than that, Kon belonged to them. He felt it in his whole being that he was theirs completely, and when he thought that, he felt happy. He didn't know why. It seemed fulfilling to have someone want him to belong to them. Ever since the first day they had met, Kon had belonged to them. He felt Seras run her gentle fingers through his hair and he sighed deeply. Behind him, Aiko had slid both hands around under the band of his pajama pants and stroked his hips.

"Do you need us?" Aiko whispered into the back of his neck, pausing to lick gently just under his hairline.

He felt the full body tremble take him, and then his breath hitched hard. Seras shifted and pulled his head up and locking her eyes onto him. The tears were beginning, and both Seras and Aiko knew what it meant.

He needed them.

-oooooo-OOOOOO-oooooo-

Uryū awoke to the smell of food. He blinked slowly and saw that Byakuya's servants had brought him and Ichigo a couple covered dishes. His stomach agreed with his nose that he was starving and it smelled wonderful. He moved to get up but felt hands clench around his waist. He looked down to realize that during the night, Ichigo had moved and wrapped both arms around his waist and buried his head in his lap. And it appeared that letting go of him wasn't going to be an option while he was asleep. Uryū frowned, not sure if he liked becoming a security blanket or not. He heard a throat clear and looked up to see Renji staring at the compromising position. Uryū flushed immediately red.

"Um, yeah, he…"

Renji smiled. "At least he's letting someone get close enough to hold him. He needs it," he said, not an ounce of mockery in his voice.

Uryū smiled. "Does it count if he's asleep?"

"I think so," Renji said with a nod.

Uryū looked up. "He needs a bath, badly, his hair looks like its brown. Is there one nearby?" he asked as Renji pushed the small table with the tray close enough for Uryū to reach without getting up.

Renji nodded. "Yeah, just out the door and around to the right, there's a bath. There's clothes and towels over there on the dresser I laid out for you. I…I was going to ask you to do it, I doubted he would let me take him."

Uryū nodded. "Yeah, me too," he said as he ate the offered eggs and ham quickly. Not really a traditional breakfast, but he guessed that Byakuya's chefs were experimenting.

As he finished, he found Ichigo watching him quietly from his place in his lap without moving. He looked down, finding it odd that Ichigo's head in his lap didn't seem to bother him in the slightest. He smiled gently. "There's breakfast, then you're going in the bath," Uryū said.

Ichigo looked confused. "Bath? Pet…I can bathe?"

Uryū frowned. "Of course, you look like you haven't had a bath in a long time. Didn't they let you bathe?"

He shook his head. "Not real bath."

"One room," Uryū heard from the other side of the room.

Uryū started slightly, having forgotten that the Arrancar was even there. He was so quiet most the time. "In one room," he said again. Uryū saw that the servants had brought him a food tray as well for breakfast, but he'd eaten already and now sat with his back to the wall and watched Uryū ad Ichigo. Uryū had to wonder how long he'd watched them sleep. Something about that was extremely bothersome. Uryū cleared his throat, trying to ignore that and looked at Ichigo.

"Okay, here, sit up and eat something," he said nodding at Ichigo.

Ichigo slowly unwrapped his arms from Uryū's waist and sat up, staring at the plate in front of him. Ichigo looked at it blankly until Uryū picked up his hand and put the chopsticks into it, remembering he was right handed. Ichigo stared at them for a long moment, as though trying to remember how to use them. Uryū groaned inwardly. Of course, he probably couldn't even remember how to do such a simple thing after what had happened to his head.

"Here," Uryū said, helping him as one helped a child learn to use the utensils.

After a moment, he was clumsily using them, steadily improving. Most likely he was slowly recalling how to use them, his body retraining something he hadn't done in so long. Five years, even without the damage to his mind, would be a long time to go without using some basic skills like using utensils. At first, Ichigo was timid as he ate, and kept glancing up at Uryū as if to make sure it wasn't going to be taken. When he was done, he stared at the empty plate curiously, and then ran his fingers around the outside.

"Okay, ready to get cleaned up properly?" Uryū asked, smiling at him and standing.

Ichigo sat still for a while and looked up. Uryū reached out, and felt him grab his hand in a painfully hard grasp. He winced but let him. He slowly led him to the door, grabbing the towels and a clean yukata as they went. He hoped this went well. Being clean and comfortable went a long way to feeling better.