Life, Again, and Love
We moved to a large city. I found a job with a law firm that's offering to pay my way through a legal degree. I suggested commuting, but the workload is too large. So, we've found a three-bedroom apartment. The only animals around are domesticated or birds, or both.
Living out here, it feels like the past four years were a dream. Part of me wants to go back to the serene backwoods. My OCD is getting worse again by necessity out here. I handled paperwork in my last job, but the paperwork wasn't this excruciating and complicated.
The girls have more to disintegrate in the city. That also concerns me.
Dwayne is the fun parent. He found work at a store that sells comics, movies, video games, and action figures, among other similar things. The girls love hanging out there.
Speaking of Dwayne, he can still calm me better than anyone else. We talk through my stringent tendencies and he's usually able to talk me down from panic attacks. These methods don't always work out, and like I said, my OCD is getting worse again, but I'm terrified even imagining where I would be if I were still living life as a family of one. Dwayne and I having each other is probably all we need, the opposite of the downfall we once thought of it as. He's said throughout our relationship that he can't believe someone as beautiful as me loves someone like him. I don't have an explanation for it. I just don't think looks matter. He understands me and cares for me, and that's all I ever asked for. It certainly doesn't hurt that his size means tight hugs, and tight hugs mean a sense of security for me.