Sunrise

Chapter 20: It's Been a While

It's Been a While—Staind.

OOO

When I finally came back to the world, I didn't open my eyes. In fact, I probably gave no sign I was conscious. I had the faintest dreams of being scooped up and carried a long way, the wind rustling my hair and clothes. I heard murmurs and voices, speaking to quickly for me to completely understand. "God… back…what happened… Alice… she collapsed… okay…" I no longer felt cold stone beneath my head as before, no longer smelt the city air.

I forced my eyes opened, groaning. My family's faces swam into focus. My dad was the first one I saw and I sat up and hugged him, sobbing into his shirt. He stiffened for a moment—not used to this motion; I'd never randomly hugged him before—before wrapping his arms around me, too. "Dad!" I blubbered, my shoulders shaking uncontrollably. "I'm so glad that—" I broke off, unable to speak. My father began to murmur and soothe me while I sobbed for what seemed like hours.

I just couldn't believe I was home.

"What did they do to you?" Mom gasped from behind me, laying a tentative hand on my shoulder. I only cried harder, images flashing behind my eyes relentlessly. Edward stiffened again.

"Bella," he growled, his tone full of anger at someone I didn't know. "It was…"

"Horrible," Jasper and Alice finished, reading emotions and remembering visions.

I could barely breathe, I was bawling so hard. "Make it stop," I pleaded to no one in particular as the knife cut through my neck. "Make it stop!"

Calm then. Calm so strong that my chest wracking sobs became sniffles. Calm so strong it eroded all my other fears and made me want to fall asleep. I thrashed in my father's arms, tears still making seeing impossible.

"No!" I cried out. I didn't want to sleep before I saw everyone. "No, no, no, no, no!"

The calm didn't cease, though, and I heard Carlisle say, "Jasper, enough."

"What is it, sweetheart?" Bella asked, stroking my hair. My father stiffened before I could even ask my question.

"He's not here, is he?" I said quietly. "He went back, didn't he?"

No one said a word, but my answer rang clear in the silence.

OOO

It was the day after that I woke in my bedroom, curled into a call, trying to force away the pain. I was driving Jasper crazy, I was sure. But I refused to come out, and I'd pushed a dresser in front of my door. They could push past it if they wanted, of course, but they got the message.

I'd known it was too good to be true.

Finding my family, beating a couple of neighborhood bastard's asses, saving some random girl… My mind struggled to remember her name. Halley, had Jaime said? Oh, Jaime… I needed to call him back so he didn't go ballistic.

But just as I reached for my cell, which had been buzzing all day, actually, Alice knocked down the door. Literally.

I gapped at her as she strode in like it was no big deal, ignoring Esme's irritated yell. She surveyed the damage she'd caused, not glancing at me, and then she picked the door up and leaned it against the wall before shoving the dresser to the other side of the room.

"Hey, girlie," she said, turning around. "Let's shop."

"No," I contended firmly.

I could tell my aunt was frowning. "It's called Aunt Duty. I'm required to make you more miserable than you already are."

"That's what you said to me when I was human," Bella said from the doorway, arms crossed and a smirk on her face.

"It's only natural that your daughter gets the same treatment."

"No," I repeated, more angry this time. "You think that if I've been in bed all day, I want to go out? Plus, I'm not in any shape to go to a mall. Look at me." I didn't bother waving an arm at my appearance. They got the idea.

Alice grinned, almost evilly. "That's where I come in," she informed me, placing her hands on her hips. "Welcome to Alice's Beauty & Co."

OOO

I could honestly say that I had no idea why I'd ever wanted to come back. Ever.

Okay, so maybe not honestly. But I was really starting to wonder if murder by overexposure to clothes was sue-able. My parents would sue my aunt if she killed me, right? Well, besides that tiny matter, I was going to be suffocated by the pile of clothing in my arms.

Which is probably why Rosalie had the mercy to take some of them off my hands. She smiled slightly at me, rolling her eyes at Alice, who was a buzzing ball of energy, racing around the room in spurts of hyper-activeness.

"And we're buying all of this?" I asked incredulously as Alice had men place the items on the counter. The clerk goggled at the pile—I really could only see his eyes, so I had no idea if his mouth had dropped—before asking Alice:

"Are you sure, Ma'am?"

She fixed him with a stare that gave him the impression that there must be something severely wrong with his brain, and he began to ring up the items at once.

"Cara, really," Alice replied calmly, most likely to my previous question. "I know it'll all look fantastic on you." She winked at me as she declared her vague answer, and I frowned.

Only Alice.

After that, she made me change in a bathroom and created a mini-salon, redoing my hair and make-up. Shoppers walked by on their way to their stalls, a little dazed by that fact.

"I don't need make-up, Alice," I protested angrily. "I'm not looking for guys."

She faltered for a moment, but then ignored me and pressed on. When she was done, we headed to a movie. The genre was carefully picked—Couldn't be a love story, I'd cry. Couldn't be a horror flick, I'd crack. Couldn't be a Drama, because my life was chock-full of that crap. So, we went with a chick-flick, with the shitty kind of romance that never happens. Ever.

And then we went home, and I hadn't had fun, at all. Jasper picked up on that right away, sending my dad a glare. Edward ignored him, trailing his fingers over the ivory keys of his piano. I frowned, examining the exchange. Alice smiled brightly then, grabbing my hand and leading swiftly up the stairs.

She closed the door to my room—I guessed Esme had fixed it in my leave—and threw a bag at me. "Let's try on your clothes!" she suggested exuberantly. I frowned at the bag in my hands.

"But you said you knew they'd all look great on me," I argued, confused.

"It's still fun to try them on anyways. Go! And use your vampire speed. I don't feel like waiting all day."

I shot her a glare. "You wasted all day taking me shopping," I grumbled, but unexpectedly, she didn't reply.

When I'd finished with the torture of being a runway model, Alice decided that we should play a board game. "Alice," Esme said disapprovingly. "You know what will happen. You know the cards everyone will pick up. You'll cheat."

Alice held up her hand in an oath. "I solemnly—"

"Very solemnly," interjected Emmett, elbowing Jasper.

"—swear that I, Mary Alice Brandon Cullen, will not cheat in our game of Monopoly."

"I hate Monopoly," I grumbled, but sat down anyway. The family ignored my statement. Well, except for Emmett, who laughed and rumpled my hair.

"Me too, kiddo."

So why-oh-why were we playing it?

After an hour, and not much progress in winning any property, but definitely down the road of going broke, we all agreed to stop. It was not that great of a game for Vampires, really. Besides, Edward was reading everyone's minds and manipulating the dice. I was almost positive Alice was indeed cheating—she was winning—despite the angelic look on her face.

So Emmett volunteered baseball instead.

Vampires, plus baseball, plus insane storm, equals a completely, wicked awesome game.

We were competitive—all of us could admit to that. Esme played referee, but I, my mom, my dad, and Carlisle were on a team. We got the mind reader, and Emmett, Rosalie, and Jasper got the psychic. We were about as evenly matched as it could get, because while Emmett had the most strength, Rosalie didn't like getting too dirty.

Plus, we had Carlisle and Edward—two people who have been playing the game since the beginning. I smiled, and I knew how to do everything. In their face.

It was an exhilarating experience, with lots of thunder and space. My dad and I conveyed our plans to each other secretly, and the rush of the game filled my head.

I was really surprised that we hadn't broken more baseballs than we did. Well, we broke five. We lost about ten.

And we won.

But as I stepped into the house again, I was overwhelmed with sadness. Matt would have enjoyed baseball.

OOO

I knew what they were doing.

It was kinda obvious, actually. For people who've been around longer than the average human, you'd think they had more of a sense of secrecy. But my family was weird like that. They never had secrets, so when they actually tried to keep one (without raising suspicion), it was nearly impossible to do.

Actually, I was almost sure Alice was seeing the outcome right now.

I stopped inside my parents doorway—the good thing about having vampire hearing is you know you'll never walk in on your parents, but then again, you can always hear them. They were talking swiftly, nearly silently, and their tones hushed, halting, as they saw me in the doorway. We stared at each other for a moment, me and my dad, and he knew.

"Where did he go?" I asked, crossing my arms. "I know he was here."

My Dad had looked away from me, suddenly very interested by his endless possession of CDs. But as I asked the question, he looked up again, and my mother stared at me in shock. "And Alice…?" my dad inquired.

It had made sense to me as of five minutes ago. My aunt had been… preoccupying me on my family's orders—taking me shopping, the movie, the board game. They were all distractions from my disappointment. But I'd been starting to grow suspicious when she'd resorted to Monopoly, a game the whole family hated. Plus, this was a question I'd been wanting answer for a while, now. I still couldn't see Matt.

And I'd been here for a week.

"Alice went hunting," I told him, my gaze hardening. "She seems to think bribery isn't worth my happiness." I was being disrespectful, I know. But as I tapped my fingers on my arm, it occurred to my farther that I wasn't angry. I was heartbroken.

Edward frowned, and I thought desperately: Please? I need to know. This isn't something I'm asking you, Dad. I'm begging.

My father's resolve snapped as I drew out the puppy-dog-eyes. I didn't think that's what altered his decision, though. It wasn't very effective for a vampire dad, but he knew what it was like to be without someone you loved.

"He was called back to Italy," my dad admitted heavily, and my mom rushed to catch me as I collapsed.

He gave up.

Those three words rang continuously through my mind. Now wonder he wouldn't let me contact him. No wonder he'd left the Cullen Household. No wonder my parents hadn't talked to me about it. He gave up. He wanted nothing to do with me. It was over—I was over. My entire existence seemed to crumble at the words. My heart felt like it was shattering into a billion pieces. It wasn't just broken, it was destroyed.

"What the hell is going on?" Jasper exclaimed, bursting through the door. "Apparently the world is ending." He doubled over, glancing pointedly at me. I must have looked terrible—my chest heaving from my sobs, clenched fists against my teary eyes.

"Jasper, don't," Edward ordered as a wave of calm diffused through the room. "If you can't handle it, then go outside, but Cara has to get through this… obstacle by herself."

Obstacle? It was more like a void.

But when I glanced up, Jasper was gone. I vaguely recalled a pat on the shoulder as he went. My mother was stroking my hair, but my dad pulled me to my feet, having to support me because I'd given up as well. "Bella," he said quietly, without a glance in her direction, "I think I need to have a chat with Cara." He didn't say "alone", but my mother must have gotten the message because she kissed me on the forehead before she left.

My father steered me towards the couch, sat me down, and grabbed a chair. He straddled it, crossing his arms and leaning back. We did not speak for a long time, mostly because I was incapable of speech and because he was mulling over what to say. When my sobs wouldn't slow, he began.

"I know what you're thinking," he said, and I glanced up. Of course he did. "But you're not thinking particularly straight, to be honest. I confronted the same issue when… well, with your mother. There was an extremely difficult misunderstanding—"

"Yeah, I know," I sniffled. "Everyone went suicidal and flew to Italy."

Edward blinked. It was his way of looking surprised—he wasn't surprised that often, I guess. "How—? Never mind." Understanding lit his face and he added, "I forgot things… come naturally to you."

"That's not what happened," I insisted, shaking my head. "I didn't even know about my power yet. Matt—" My voice broke on the word. "He told me about it."

He nodded, and there was a long span of silence. Technically, I didn't know why I was speaking out loud at all.

"Yes, well… Don't ever resort to that. It makes a bigger deal than necessary." There was another lapse of awkwardness, and then he continued, "Cara, stop thinking for a moment." The words: He gave up were still running through my mind. "I know what you think it is, but you've received the message wrong. He returned to Italy because Aro wanted him there. He didn't just 'give up'. He left because it was an order, and he has to follow orders."

I know the feeling, I thought, and that only brought the tears back.

As the liquid leaked from my eyes, Edward strode over to me and grabbed my shoulders. He did not shake me, but the action allowed him to see my face. I adverted my eyes, afraid to look my father in the face. I wasn't afraid of him, I was afraid of what I would find. Would his eyes betray the truth and scream of his lies? It was obvious that Matt had already forgotten me. He didn't care. And—Oh, yeah. I'd killed his brother.

"Cara, stop!" He forced me to look him in the eye, and as he registered the pain clear in my human eyes, he mentally staggered. His eyes took on a self-loathing look. "Are these the type of thoughts that ran through Bella's mind when I made the foolish attempt to leave her?" he asked himself, and was quiet for a moment while he regained his control.

"He loves you, Cara. Do you know that when he found out about you being captured, helpless…" Edward shook his head, trying to forget it himself. "Do you know how angry he became? The rage he felt? Jasper nearly wanted to leave the room. I was reading his thoughts, Cara, and do you know what he was thinking?"

I shook my head. "No."

"In exact context: It's my fault. I should've killed him when I had the chance… What is there to throw? I wonder if Edward will mind if I ripped his piano apart."

I blinked rapidly. "Your piano?"

"I'm glad to say I didn't let him. Emmett had to restrain him, actually. I was surprised… his eyes were golden. Did they used to be?"

"No," I told him. "They were red. But then he converted."

"Because he loves you, maybe?" Edward asked smugly.

I allowed myself to nod. And it occurred to me that this was quite the embarrassing subject to talk with my father about. I changed the subject from my love life before he could get into the "love" part.

"What was your reaction when he came?" I whispered. "I only learned recently that he didn't do any of the things I thought he had. I was so confused when Lucas told me… he came here. I thought I saw him in Esme's kitchen once, but—" I broke off, my thoughts racing ahead of my words. I couldn't concentrate anymore. For someone who knew everything, I was extremely confused.

"He came to us hoping to find you here. When he realized what had happened—that you'd gone to Alabama—he tried to leave himself. We'd thought you'd left Italy to escape something, so we kept him with us for a while. Alice kept an eye on you and I kept a watch on his mind." I noticed my father did not say his name. "When I'd realized you'd left to warn the Quileutes, Carlisle made sure they knew. Then, an hour after we decided to come and get you, Alice saw what happened with Lucas, Robbie, and… the crash.

"At first, Jasper had thought it was Matthew—" I winced "—who was feeling lovesick and miserable. And he was, but then, shortly after Alice saw your car being smashed to smithereens, Matt experienced a pain that would fit your… scenario. Alice and I put two and two together and came to a decision. You could both share emotional and physical ties."

"Yeah, I know. Lucas told me something like that. I think I absent-mindedly shut off receiving it. Is that possible?"

He nodded. "Caius believes so."

"Weird."

"He never shut it off, though." Edward's abrupt seriousness was radiated in his eyes. "Not once."

Italy, I thought. That one word seemed to have so many restrictions, so much weight. Everything there could stand in my way of getting my life back… well, so to speak. Maybe I should just lie down and admit… defeat?

My father did shake my shoulders this time. "No!" he ordered. "You can't!"

"Why not?"

He stared me in the eye, and I had a feeling I already knew the answer. "Because you know it'll kill you both."

"And frankly," called Alice from the doorway, "I'm getting sick of dealing with this un-fun, miserable Cara. I'm telling you, Edward, the angry version of her was so much more enjoyable." Alice grinned at me from over my father's shoulder. "So, kiddo, go fix it."

OOO

WEEEE!!!!

Haha, that was indeed random. : ). So how are you all? I must warn you now to those of you who review, I might not be able to answer any questions for a while. I'm gone as of tomorrow morning, and I won't return until Saturday night.

But, yes. She's going back to Italy. And this was a filler chapter. But Cara needed to fix her relationship with Edward and get the hell off her sorry ass. –grins-. This chapter was to mainly answer questions.

About questions, some of you may have been confused when Cara was thinking: "Hurry up," and "how had he known?" from the last chapter. She saw Edward behind the dude with the gun when she opened her eyes, and hurry up was because she didn't want to get shot. All clear?

Jamie