Hannibal stared at Clarice as he cut an apple, in a bowl on the counter below him he had peeled some oranges and grapefruit. He traced her face with his eyes, watched her fight with herself about what she so clearly wanted to say, and smirked when she popped another pre-maternal vitamin.
Clarice wondered if it was a good time of morning to bring up the problems with her pregnancy. Sure Hannibal had been alive and awake far longer then she, but he must still be tired. She glanced at him and his eyes flared through his smirk. Watching her again, not a good time to check. Either way, she could never tell if he was tired, he either looked very mellow, often replying to conversations with 'hmm's or 'ahh's, sometimes an odd grunt, looked playfully venomous, usually pulling out all the stops to derail someone's ego, or he looked somewhat loving, but that one could easily be mistaken with mellow. There was no tired look with him, meaning no way to determine a safe zone in time.
As Hannibal finished cutting the first apple, and began on the second, he pushed the bowl across the counter in front of Clarice. She gave it a considering look before pulling out a piece of grapefruit.
"Do you think we are really the kind of people to raise a child?" Wow, word vomit. She nearly choked on the grapefruit as she spoke, it took a moment to down the wad of chewed fruit.
Hannibal continued cutting the apple, shrugging. Clearly he wasn't too concerned either way. Well, he was Hannibal the Cannibal, and he had made it this far didn't he.
"I'm serious Hannibal," she impressed before continuing, seeing as he seemed unflustered by the idea at all, "I'm talking about the way we live, the way we are. Do you really think we are the kind of people to raise a child?" She tried to put emphasis on the words 'way we are'.
Hannibal didn't stop cutting again, but his did look at her, "after all the two of us have been through, you underestimate your ability to care for someone? Need I remind you who you live with, who you've allowed yourself to come to understand. Who you love?"
Clarice shook her head as she finished chewing another piece of grapefruit, "that's not what I meant. I mean that you and I live dangerous lives now, that both of us are criminals, and that I think that that sort of lifestyle isn't right for a child," she said softly before adding, "you know, personally, what its like to have to be in hiding as a child."
Hannibal frowned as he finished cutting the fruit and one-by-one placed each piece in her bowl. She had put it lightly, but it still, under all the composure, stung his heart. He wasn't keen on speaking about his time in hiding back in Lithuania. He knew she meant that it ended badly, with the death of Mischa, and his introduction to cannibalism to start. His whole life had been heavily affected by what happened then, but times were different now, no one would die this time. He would make sure of that.
"Things aren't the same as they were back then Clarice, we live in a time that allows us the right of privacy and freedom. A child whose parents were no more then a whore and a bastard, with naught but a run down dump of a home could thrive and become a successful being to society. We are neither, and we are well off to say the least, a child in a situation such as this would not struggle, not even in the case of solid hiding would the child suffer, because together we are far above that of any teacher or tutor they may encounter. I fail to see a problem with having a baby, our histories alone would make us fair dame and sire."
"Hannibal, what happens if we get caught? Then what? The kid would be either placed in a mental institute or in foster care, and it would never understand why what we do is so wrong, or why anyone would take them away. They would be hurt, the same way I was, and the same way you were."
Hannibal stared, silent for the first time in a long void of it. Clarice felt warm and uncomfortable under his gaze. She knew she hit a nerve.
Hannibal always regretted not being able to save Mischa, her death made him who he was today, and who he would be for the rest of his life. He watched his parents die outside their family's cottage, lived in the god-forsaken Lecter Castle, then turned to an orphanage, and then was taken away by his uncle. He ended up in an asylum because of what happened, had to change his life constantly because of it, and she knew that what she said made sense, and he wouldn't deny it. He knew better.
"So your willing to disown the child," he said it gently, but his voice was chilled with venom, "your willing to destroy it? Possibly kill it, your not very far along."
Clarice felt her heart sink. He had been right when he told her he would always win; she never thought about what would happen if she decided this life was too rough for a child. She could never get an abortion, never, but leaving the child in an orphanage would be no better then having it and getting caught in the mix. It was too risky for their safety to try for adoption.
Clarice wan't left with much of an option, she either had it and risked endangering its future, or killing it, and never forgiving herself. Hannibal would never forgive her either.
"Its far better we have the baby Clarice, there are risks for every parent, every child born has a chance of dying, being taken, or ending up fucked up somewhere. We can do our best to live a normal life, teach the child what we know, what will help him or her and hope for the best, like any parent would."
Clarice smiled faintly, but she wasn't altogether convinced. But what other choice did she have?
"Would you be willing to amp down our lives for this Hannibal? We could move into a smaller house and try to settle somewhere, get permanent Ids and lay low. You would have to accept that life for the sake of the child, at least for the beginning."
Hannibal smirked again, "I'll put the house up for sale now if it will please you Clarice," he mused, reaching for the laptop that lingered on the counter side to them.
"Where to? I might as well look for a new house while I'm at it?"
Yes, this is a dreadfully awful chapter. I may re-do it, but for now I'm leaving it like this. Sorry about the shortness and all that, I've got writers-block. Try not to hate it too much.