Weak point
Cas sat at a bench in the middle of campus. He clutched his hot coffee in one hand and scrolled through his phone with the other. It was a nice day out and later on he'd be starting his pledges initiations.
"Cas?," a faintly familiar voice sounded in front of him.
He looked up to see Dean standing in front of him with bookbag slung over one shoulder casually. Cas smiled brightly. "Dean. What are you doing?," he asked him.
"I just got out of class so I was about to head back to my dorm," he answered.
Cas patted the seat next to him. Dean eyed it suspiciously before sitting down anyways. Cas laughed then pocketed his cell phone. "Relax. Hell week hasn't officially began so I'm not going to do anything to you. For now," he said with a smirk.
Dean laughed nervously as he slid his hands down his legs. "The dorms must suck. I remember having to live there, too," Cas commented when Dean didn't say anything.
Dean nodded. "Yeah well, hopefully I can make it through this week without wussing out then you'll be looking at your new roommate," he said with a smile to match Cas'.
"You'll do fine. We're not like other frats," Cas told him confidently.
"Yeah. I heard Beta is really tough on their pledges," Dean commented as he crossed his legs on the bench.
Cas stared off into the distance as he nodded slowly. He tried not to remember finding himself at Betas party the year before. The night everything changed.
"Cas?," Deans voice broke him out of his wary thoughts before they could get any further.
"Hm?," Cas hummed as he looked over at Dean.
"You kind of spaced out there for a second. Long night?," he asked in a concerned tone.
"Uh, yeah. You could say that," he answered him.
"Well, hopefully you're not too rough with me," Dean said with a shy smirk.
Cas' heart accelerated. Was he flirting with him? He swallowed nervously then pulled his phone out of his pocket. He saw a few text messages from Gabriel but also noticed that he was going to be late to his meeting soon.
He stood up abruptly and offered Dean an apologetic smile. "Sorry, I have a, uh, a thing I need to get to."
Dean nodded as his eyes flickered down to the ground. "Yeah. Okay. I'll just see you later tonight."
Cas ran his hand through his hair. "Sure. I promise not to be too rough with you," he said with a small smile.
Dean looked back up and smiled back. He gave Cas a small wave and Cas gave him one back. He walked away while sighing internally. He couldn't like someone. Not yet. He wasn't ready for that.
His shoulder crashed into someone else's when he wasn't paying attention to where he was going. "Watch where you're going," the annoyed voice told him.
Cas looked behind him to see Michael Milton. His breath hitched as his eyes shot down. "Sorry, Novak. I didn't realize it was you," Michael apologized.
Cas nodded as he turned back around and walked back in the direction he came from. He stopped a few feet away before turning his head around. Michael wasn't too far from where he bumped into him. He was limping in the opposite direction and getting looks of sympathy from others.
He rolled his eyes and kept walking until he reached the small building on the other side of the campus. He took a few looks around to see if anyone was watching before he walked in.
He walked into the dull white room and quickly took an empty seat away from everyone else. Jo Harvelle sat a few seats away from him. She looked different this week. Her eyes were brighter and she was smiling. Actually smiling.
"Castiel?," Jody, the coordinators, voice called out to him. He looked up and raised an eyebrow at her.
"Castiel. You've been coming here every week for a year now and you still have never said a word. Would you like to speak today? I can't help you unless you want to be helped," she said softly.
Cas could feel the burning sensation of all eyes on him. He hated the attention being on him. He shook his head firmly then sank into his seat. He wished he could be invisible at this moment.
Jody tightened her lips but nodded in acceptance. "Anyone else want to speak? Jo? You seem happy today," she pointed out.
Jo bit her lip but nodded after a few minutes. "Something happened," she started.
Jody raised an eyebrow in surprise but gestured for her to continue. Jo tucked a strand of blonde behind her ear then sighed softly. "M- My rapist was found beaten up and robbed last night," she told the group.
A few gasps were shared throughout the circle. "And how do you feel about that?," Jody asked her as her eyebrows creased together with concern.
"Is it wrong to say that I feel relieved?," she asked in a small voice. Cas looked over at her. He wasn't expecting that reaction from her. Maybe it's a good reaction.
"Not at all. What about it makes you feel relieved?," Jody questioned her.
"I feel relieved that he won't have any more victims. Well, at least not for a while. He was stabbed in the leg and when I found out, I- I laughed. I smiled. I felt like myself for the first time in months," she answered honestly.
Jody nodded along as she spoke. A small smile pulled at Cas' lips. It felt good to know that what he did actually helped Jo. He didn't feel an ounce of guilt towards Michael.
The group was silent once more. Cas looked up at Jody who was currently scanning the circle for anyone else who wanted to speak. "Well, if no one else has anything else they want to share then I suppose group is over for this week," she announced.
Everyone started to collect their things before a small voice spoke up. "I was raped." Cas looked over at a petite girl with dark brown hair and wide brown eyes.
Jody said nothing and waited for the girl to continue. "I went to the campus bar with some of my friends and there was this guy there. Ezekiel. I still remember his name. And I- I don't know. I guess at some point he drugged my drink. And the last thing I can remember is him walking me out of the bar. Then I woke up half naked in the middle of campus," she said in an uneven voice.
Cas frowned and tightened his fist as her words sunk in. "Did you report the crime, Meg?," Jody asked the girl as she touched her leg lightly.
Meg nodded as a stray tear slipped down her cheek. "They didn't believe me. He's in a fraternity and his parents donate to the school. They didn't believe me," she whispered harshly.
Jody wrapped her arm around the thin girls shoulder. "Just remember that every day it will get a little easier. Every day you will get a little stronger. You just have to keep going," she told her before looking out at the rest of the group. "That goes for all of you."
Cas stood up quickly and rushed out of the room. He felt like he was suffocating in that small room. He ran out into the fresh evening air and caught his breath.
He leaned against the cool brick wall and closed his eyes. What bullshit. It doesn't get easier. Every day is a struggle. A struggle to enjoy being in the skin he's in. It's a struggle to look anyone in the eye or even laugh anymore.
He shook his head to himself then walked in the direction of his frat house. His mind raced with all the Ezekiel's he might've known but he only came up blank. It wasn't an exactly common name but he knew most of the fraternity's and their members on campus.
He arrived at the house a few minutes later. Most of the pledges were already there and helping carry out all the beer and tables to the front lawn. He dodged a few of them and attempted to keep his head down so he wouldn't be asked to do anything.
A hand grabbed onto his forearm tightly and he felt his skin begin to burn under the touch. He pulled quickly away from whoever had grabbed him.
"Easy, dude! It's me. Where have you been? Night ones about to begin," Gabe said as he held his hands up defensively.
"You know I have study groups on Mondays," Cas lied. He had been lying to his best friend for over a year now. It hurt that he couldn't exactly tell him that he goes to rape survivors counseling every week.
Gabe eyed him suspiciously but decided to drop it. "Ah, that's right. Well, hurry up and get dressed. Your group of pledges look lost right now."
Cas nodded and practically ran upstairs to his room. He shut and locked the door quickly before sitting down at his desk. He opened his laptop up and typed in Ezekiel's name.
After a couple minutes of checking all social medias, he finally had enough information on Megs attacker. A knock at his door sounded just as he finished writing down an address.
"Yeah?," he asked loudly to whoever was on the other side of the door.
"It's me. Dean. Uh, Gabriel said to come check on you and tell you to get your ass down here," he said awkwardly.
Cas smiled while digging through his closet for something new to wear. He took off his shirt before slipping on his frats shirt that he got a few months ago. He pulled on a tight pair of jeans then slipped on his favorite pair of white vans.
He checked his hair in the mirror hastily before deciding that his hair wasn't going to be maintainable tonight. He swung open the door to see Dean still standing on the other side. He had a slight blush on his neck as his eyes drifted down Cas' body.
"Well?," Cas asked him a bit annoyed that he wouldn't move or say anything.
"Oh. I- I'm sorry," Dean stuttered as he practically ran down the hallway to get away from Cas.
Cas felt a surge of guilt rip through him. He hadn't mean to be so rude to the guy but he also didn't want to catch unwanted feelings anytime soon.
Cas walked slowly down the staircase and followed a group of people out the front door. The party was already beginning and Cas still had no idea what he was supposed to be making his pledges do.
"Gabe? What's going on?," Cas asked his friend who had already seemed to misplaced his shirt before the evening even began.
Gabe laughed loudly before handing Cas a red cup full of beer. Cas looked down at it with a twisted stomach but smiled weakly. Gabe slung an arm over his shoulder and walked him over to the group of pledges.
"Looks like we're going to have some slaves for the night," Gabe said with another drunken chuckle.
Cas furrowed his brow. "What? We've never done that before," Cas pointed out.
"Yeah, well, Raphael stole the idea from another frat. They work their pledges in shifts to be their slaves all throughout the week. Imagine it. We don't have to carry our own backpacks, get our own coffee and they can even rub our feet," he said with excitement.
Cas slung Gabe's arm off of him and shook his head. "I don't like the sound of that. I don't like to be crowded."
"Well, get used to it cause it looks like pretty boy over there is working the first shift," he said with a devious smirk.
Cas looked over at Dean who was sipping out of a cup of his own. Maybe he could slip away when no one noticed or was too drunk to care to go find Ezekiel. He needed to let off some steam.
Dean caught his eye and slowly put his cup down on a nearby table. He sauntered over to Cas. "I guess you heard the first game of the week," he said a little shyly.
Cas nodded as he ran a hand through his hair. His frat bracelet must've caught Deans eye. Dean reached out and gently grabbed Cas' wrist to get a better look. Cas flinched while expecting the burning sensation to take over his body whenever someone touched him but he felt nothing. Only the sensation of skin on skin.
"It's the classic Alpha Sigma Phi bracelet. Everyone gets one after your initiated," Cas explained.
Dean nodded as he continued to study it. "C. N?," he asked him with a raise of his brow.
"My initials. Castiel Novak," he replied.
"Oh, cool," Dean said and all too soon released his wrist. Cas frowned when his touch went away but tried not to think too hard about it.
"I'm sorry if I disturbed you in your room earlier. I didn't mean to or anything. It's just when a brother tells you to do something that you kind of have to do it," Dean apologized.
Cas waved him off. "Don't listen to Gabe. He just likes to get under people's skin. And you don't have to listen to any brother here except for me."
Dean chuckled and flashed him his perfect teeth. Cas offered him a small smile in return. "Novak," that familiar voice that he heard earlier said from the right of him.
He turned around to see Michael and two other guys that definitely weren't apart of Alpha walking with him. "We need to talk."