DREAMGIRL
I had left the show early, and gotten on the tour bus immediately. I didn't want to deal with any more songs that would basically drive me into the ground. So what if it was called "I'm Still In Love With You"? I still sounded like a complete bitch, and it still showed me just how badly I had hurt Joe, and that was something I had tried to apologize for more then enough. Some may say I was over reacting, but I didn't really care.
I plopped myself down on the bright white lounge couch, fishing my sidekick out of my pocket and dialing my sister's number quickly. She picked up on the third ring.
"Kevin already told me." She spoke quietly, as if speaking at a normal tone would shatter my ears.
"As in, they finished playing?"
"No, he texted me right after you apparently stormed away with fire in your eyes. I downloaded the song, pretty catchy."
"Ashley! Focus! It's completely about me, in a negative sense." I let my head fall into my empty head, rubbing my eyes. Ashley just sighed.
"I think he just wants you to realize how he felt." Well, duh.
"Kevin didn't tell you much else, did he? Or do you not read magazines?" My tone was angry and spiteful. I don't really know why I was being a complete bitch to my sister, it just felt right.
"I try to stay away from negative gossip, but I'm checking TMZ right now and- Oh my dear God, why are there pictures of you kissing Joe all over this website?" I just sighed loudly into the receiver, lifting my head.
"Why do you think Ashley?"
"There are pictures of you and Nick, too! Oh my God, these comments are mean. 'That skinny bitch should get her own fucking men'. Looks like America doesn't like you much right now." Ashley laughed, reading off a few more comments. "Since when did being skinny become a bad thing?"
"Ash, that isn't the point. What's going on in the pictures is."
"So you and Joe are making out? It's not like that hasn't happened before."
"He's fucking toying with me. One second he's all over me, the next he's singing hate songs and telling me he doesn't want his fans knowing a thing about us!" Now I was standing, pacing back and forth in the lounge.
"Play along?" What?
"As in?" I heard Ashley scoff on the other end.
"Pretend it doesn't bother you. He's doing this to bother you intentionally. He wants you wrapped around his finger, and with the way you're reacting, that's not a hard feat. Just play along." Ashley's theory was so simple, and so genius. Why couldn't I think like that?
"That's perfect. Thanks Ashley. Love." I clicked off before I let her say anything else, and walked to my bunk, opening up my Mac book and Itunes quickly. I typed in Jonas Brothers and found myself buying their most recent album, putting one song in particular on repeat.
WONDERFUL
"You left without a single word! Not even sorry!" I was singing loudly, and very off key, dancing vigorously to the song on my Ipod as the boys boarded the bus. It was around midnight, and they looked tired. I stopped dead in my tracks, only now realizing how much I actually enjoyed this song. Nick gave me a skeptical look, walking towards the couch and collapsing quickly.
"Having fun?" Kevin questioned skeptically, and I just smiled.
"Tons. I was just listening to the album. It's actually really good. Oh my God, and that one song, the opener? Amazing." I pressed play on my Ipod again, sinking into the couch and singing the song, now completely on key. Joe stepped out from behind his brother's shadow, his eyes wide.
"You liked that song?" He questioned. I nodded, still singing the words.
"Yup. It really made me realize how much of a selfish bitch I was for being forced away to Beijing for two years, against my will. I'm a bad person." Nick got a kick out of that one, wrapping an arm around my shoulder while trying to hide his extreme laughter. I just smiled. Joe did the same, but this time, it wasn't his usual I'm better then you smirk, but an actual, genuine smile.
"Glad you like it." He stated simply. "I'm getting some sleep." He turned on his heels, walking back to the bunks. Kevin fell into the seat next to me.
"You talked to Ashley, didn't you?" I nodded in response, turning off the song and smiling. "I knew there was a reason I loved her, other then her gorgeous body and the fact that she's amazing in-"
"Too much information!" Nick yelled, covering his ears, causing Kevin and me to laugh uncontrollably.
"Awe, sorry bud. I won't talk about it anymore." Kevin ruffled up his younger brother's hair and smiled. "Well, time to hit the sack." He stood, stretching, and walked back to the bunks.
"And then there was two." Nick broke the two-minute long silence, which wasn't awkward at all. I smiled, snuggling into his side. He looked down at me, somewhat surprised. I just let my eyes fall closed, listening to his heartbeat. I heard footsteps joining us, as the bus started moving. Then I heard Joe and Nick talking. They had obviously thought I had fallen asleep.
"Was that too mean?" I heard Joe begin, collapsing on the floor.
"Do you really want to talk about this with her right here?" Joe scoffed.
"She can't hear me. She's out like a light." Ha. You wish, Jonas.
"Alright, then yeah. I do think it was uncalled for. Singing that song as part of the set list is normal, but you made it first on purpose. I just wanna know why."
"I don't know, man. I just did it. I don't know why I've been doing any of this stupid immature bullshit lately. She drives me crazy. I can't help it. But I like it. Something about the adrenaline rush I get from it, it's amazing."
"It's love, dip-shit."
"I don't want to be in love with her. She hurt me too much last time."
"Yeah, well she's back now, and obviously sorry. If you don't make your move and seal the deal, someone else will. And that someone… could be me." Okay, I definitely shouldn't have heard that part.
"Nick, are you serious?" Joe's tone was almost angry, but at the same time, completely clueless.
"Yeah, I'm serious. I'm pretty sure she even knows, seeing as Kevin has a strangely big mouth. It's not like I'd ever act on it, she's obviously and painfully in love with you." I heard Nick sigh lightly, his arm being removed from my shoulder, most likely running through his curls. "Stop being such a jackass and just let this happen."
"You're right," Joe muttered quietly. "I should just stop being a prick, and let this happen."
"My point exactly." I chose this moment to stir, moving my body so my head was in Nick's lap.
"Do you think she heard us?" Joe questioned. I could feel his eyes on me as I "slept" angelically.
"No. She's a heavy sleeper."
"Alright. Thanks, Nick." I heard Joe's footsteps retreating into the bunk, and the curtain being pulled closed.
"Okay, you can stop pretending now." I felt Nick poke me in the ribs, sending me into a fit of giggles. I swatted his hands away.
"Mercy! Mercy!"
"I can't believe you just let that whole conversation happen."
"If you knew I was awake, why didn't you stop him from talking?"
"I knew you wanted to hear every word." Nick smirked, causing me to do the same. He knew me too well. I sat up, a silence falling around us.
"So, did you mean it?"
"Yeah, I did," he turned his whole body towards me, staring into my eyes, "but I would never act on it. Plus, I have Belle." He shrugged. Everything was so nonchalant to him. I only wish I could be that way.
Looking up at Nick, I smiled, leaning in and placing a quick kiss on his cheek.
"I wish I felt the same about you, but sadly, I don't. Well, I love you, but I'm not in love with you." Nick smiled, rolling his eyes.
"I know."