Prompt: Heropulchure; 5?
She was so fucked.
It'd started with a bender that ended in her waking up in the Flying Fortress. Pretty awkward on its own, but she'd woken up nude with bite marks all over her neck and shoulders. Clearly, she'd gotten freaky with a major freak at some point. But whatever, these things happen, might as well look for some enemy info before absconding the hell out of there.
She got her monthly buddy like three weeks later, and a quick trip to the doctor had her announced cootie free, so whatever, crisis averted, everything is gucci gucci.
Well except for the part where it actually wasn't. Turns out Aunt Flo can still come over for a visit even if you've got a bun in the oven. Also turns out that she was allergic to anti-quickening potions. So yeah.
Draco was so pissed when she told him he was gonna have a little sibling soon.
Doctor insisted on weekly check ups since adventurers get up to all kinds of magical and biochemical nonsense, there's not way of telling who or what might affect the kid at any given day. Around week three of check ups she finds out the kid is draining her life energy. She learns two things: 1, kids apparently aren't supposed to do that. 2, kid's most likely undead.
Also she needs to find a mage that can infuse her with more life energy on a regular basis or the kid's gonna drain her dry.
Fun.
So if the kid's undead, the babydaddy's undead, which means she probably screwed some shambling monstrosity on that bender. Kind of a harsh blow to her pride, but at least that would explain the legion of bitemarks, about half of which were deep enough to scar. Some of the local mages kept wanting to study her since you don't get someone carrying zombiespawn just everyday, but a few fireballs from Draco managed to scare them off. If she was gonna have to deal with some freaky ass pregnancy, she was gonna do it without a bunch of weirdos following her every move.
And damn if she didn't do the thing. Seven months practically cooped up in house arrest, watching movies and getting fat and having to deal with some other jerks fighting the forces of evil while she was puking her guts out. Sure, no one would blame her if she were to go out and "accidentally" tank a blow to the stomach hard enough to off her little bundle of joy, but with as little life energy as she was running on these days her body probably wouldn't be able to recover from the miscarriage. And in the choice between motherhood and death she was only allowed so many coin tosses.
Contractions hurt like a bitch and no matter what her own mother had told her, literally nothing could've prepared her for the fact that she'd be spending four hours in a bed screaming and sweating like a pig. Ash had offered to let her squeeze his hand during the whole process. By the time the nurses were cleaning the kid off, the doctor was treating him for broken bones.
She heard the nurses and the doctors mumbling something about the kid and passed out.
Roughly half a day later she woke up, called the nurse and asked for a glass of water, pain pills, and thirty blueberry pancakes with butter and pecan syrup.
And also her kid, that'd be cool too.
The nurse came by with a screaming bundle in her arms like half an hour later and told her that she'd had a beautiful baby daughter in that exact kind of way people do when they really wanna say this kid is hellspawn and get it away from me. She kinda had a weird look on her face too, but whatever, hellspawn or not the kid was still her kid and that made it at least halfway decent.
She undid the wrapping around the kid's teeny tiny body and actually fell in love with the little button nose and the pale skin and the chubby cheeks and scrunchy eyes and the—
Her fucking daughter had red hair.
Red hair.
Red.
Hair.
She was so fucked.
NOTE: This is most likely gonna be the last heropulchure request for a while. Not because of an issue with the ship, but the person who keeps requesting it.