Felicity reflects on Simon (and shows her vulnerable side???). This is kind of OOC, and it contradicts the previous chapter. Oh well.
Simon knows everything about me, about my family. He knows about my father, and he knows about my mother, and he knows about every bad thing I have ever done. Everyone gossips about us; I can feel it. But only he knows. I do not look at Simon anymore.
Gemma talks of him sometimes. I do not think she loves him, and I do not think that he loves her. He will flirt with her, court her, maybe even marry her. He knows that there's something unusual about Gemma, but he doesn't know what. He doesn't really know her, and he does not love her. He knows me, he knows everything about me. But he does not love me either.
I did love him back then, in that time of whispered secrets and secret kisses, and all those games we played. I can remember him in my bedroom at two in the morning. I can still see his face in the mirror above my vanity, a flash of unruly blond hair. Simon made me feel dangerous, but safe. I've learned that security is always a lie.
I wonder now if anything he said to me was true. Or if all those "Miss Worthington's" and softer "Felicity's" were just another game to him. I can play those games; I have played those games. But it all felt different when I was with Simon. I guess I can't trust my feelings.
I can't trust my father or mother or even my best friend. Pippa, beautiful Pippa with her violet eyes, the first person who ever loved me back. She deserted me. She died. It was all Gemma's fault.
I hate Gemma. I hate her, and I want to be her. I want to be pursued by Simon, and I want to kiss him again, and I want to forget. I want to have that power she has, that magic. Nothing bad can happen to Gemma. She is special. I am nothing.
Simon knows that I am nothing. He will never look at me again. I will not look at him either. I may have loved him back then, but he knows everything about me.
Please R&R. I don't really like this... concrit is appreciated, even if this is really short.