Prompt: Heropulchure roommate au. Very begrudging roommates.
You opened the door wide, a scowl evident on your face even before the smell of blood and lye hit you. You rapped your knuckles loudly against the door.
"Hey. It's your turn to wash the dishes, jerkface."
Your roommate was busy scrubbing what was obviously blood off of the combination bathtub and shower, the source of the room's smell. You're entirely certain that there was a body in said shower not too long ago, but you've never been able to find one. Not that you really care. The bastard keeps the house clean and always pays rent on time, so you're willing to let his obvious serial killing slide.
He pauses in his scrubbing and glares at you.
"I'm kind of busy," he says.
"Yeah well, except unlike you, mister stay-at-home-dad, I actually just got back from work, and I picked your daughter up from preschool, so you can go ahead and do the dishes."
"Go to hell."
"Jokes on you motherfucker, I've been in hell ever since I signed the lease."