What Names Make of Us
The girl roamed up and down the ruined streets. It was difficult to move, but the woods had been difficult too, and the boat. She went quickly, carefully, making sure not to slip and fall. She didn't know if the box she carried would break if she did. She did not want to find out.
The familiar building appeared when she turned the corner. The one with the kind lady in it. The lady with the words. She smiled at the sight, but did not drop her guard. She had been attacked here before. Today could be no different.
Today was different. She got to the building and climbed the outside. The box was slung on her back. The man who had given it to her had said words that she hadn't understood, but he had said that it was a precious box. He had been dressed differently than everyone else in the broken city. Cleaner. Black and white instead of dirty colours. She had liked his face. It was a kind face.
She got to her window and pushed it open. She did not enter. Once she had entered and the building had attacked her. She would wait until the lady said it was safe.
At the kind lady's gesture, she entered. The building did not attack her. There were three other people in the building. Tall dark man with outward sorrow and hidden joy. Tall less dark man with outward joy and hidden sorrow. Bright boy with bright curiosity and a sad smile. She had seen them before with the kind faced man. She trusted them, like she trusted the lady.
The kind lady smiled at her as she took the box. "Thank you Cassandra." The kind lady had been the first person to call her that. She liked it. Someday, she would like to be able to say it too. "I'm sorry you had to go get it, but these three were caught up in a territory dispute." She didn't understand most of the words. 'Sorry' she knew, and 'territory'. She saw the injuries on the men and bright boy and the tears in their clothes. She did not understand why the kind lady was sorry. But the kind lady was smiling, so it couldn't be a big sorry. Just a little sorry.
She also did not understand why the lady handed the box back to her. Was she supposed to deliver it somewhere else? Was the kind lady sorry for not giving her good directions? No, the kind lady always gave good directions. She looked at the kind lady in confusion. The kind lady smiled. "Open it." Her hands made motions like she was opening the box, but the box was in her hands.
Still confused, she opened the box. It was full of black fabric. Now curious, she pulled out the smaller fabric on top. It was the mask that other lady wore, the one who was always ready to fight, who made the kind lady angry. She didn't know why the fight lady made the kind lady angry. She thought maybe the fight lady had stolen something from the kind lady.
Stolen this. This outfit. The kind lady was never as angry when the fight lady was wearing purple.
Quickly, she looked back up at the kind lady. But the lady didn't seem angry that she was holding the outfit. She looked very happy. And proud. "This used to be my costume, my name. It's yours, if you want it."
She looked between the outfit and the people. It looked very similar to the outfits the men and bright boy wore. Not just in colour, but feel. She had seen people before, who wore the same kind of outfit. They always walked with a sense of belonging. If she had this, would she belong too?
She'd like that. The last time someone had looked at her like she had belonged had been before she had stolen a man's life. Even now, she could feel the slowing of his pulse, see the light leave his eyes.
No, that is not a thing to think about now. She looked at the people in front of her and knew that they would never ask her to steal like that. And she also knew that she would do everything she was able to keep the light in their eyes. She pulled on the mask.
She worried for a moment, if that was not what the lady had wanted, but through the dark lenses of the mask, she saw the lady's smile grow. "Welcome to the family. Batgirl." Everyone was smiling. Even the tall dark man. His face was quiet, but he screamed happiness and pride, almost as much as the lady.
Batgirl. The way the lady said it made it sound similar to Cassandra. Batgirl. She liked that one too. Maybe she would get to say it too, someday.
Words flooded into her mind, more than she had known existed. She didn't notice as they pushed out the motion. She was busy marveling at the sudden understanding she had. Words, words, words. She didn't know all of them. The man who had given her the words said a few that she didn't know, hadn't learned. But she could figure them out, because the words before and the words after made sense now.
And she understood why the lady – Barbara was her name – had insisted she learn words, and gotten frustrated when Batgirl hadn't understood. In just a few sentences – which she could speak now – she had conveyed more information than she had been able to before. She never would have been able to understand what the psychic had done to her without the words.
She had a name. She hadn't understood the concept of those before. Barbara was Barbara just as Batgirl was Batgirl and Cassandra both.
She had lost her ability though. She could no longer understand people. She could no longer see an attack in a muscle twitch, nor an intent. The words had pushed all of that out. They tumbled through her brain, loud and disordered and insistent on taking her attention. She could not quiet them. With the words, she could not fight. She could not be useful.
With a heavy heart, she went back to the Clocktower. Even knowing the name of the building didn't lift her spirits.
Barbara was there, as she always was. "Batgirl? Are you alright?"
With a sigh, Batgirl pulled off her mask. "Barbara..." How to say this?
Barbara gasped, breaking her train of thought. Words were so easily distracted. "Did you just speak?"
Oh. "Yes. There was a psychic-" She cut off when Barbara rolled towards her and pulled her down into a hug.
"Cass, this is wonderful!" Then Barbara pulled away, concern on her face. And it was a relief to still be able to see that. "You said it was a psychic? Are you alright? What did he do to you?" Her hands went to either side of Batgirl's face, as if she would be able to see what the psychic had done.
Batgirl thought back to the psychic's explanation. "I saved him, and he wanted to thank me. But my brain was weird, so he... 'rewired' it. I..." She hesitated. "Barbara, I can't see anymore." And one of Barbara's hands came up, waving in front of her face. Batgirl almost laughed. "No, I can see like that. But I can't see..." She couldn't explain it. She pulled out of Barbara's grip, raising her hands. How to...?
She lifted Barbara's hand so it was flat and the palm was facing her. Then she placed her fist against it. It was how she used to say hello, and explain how she talked. Maybe it could explain this.
Understanding lit in Barbara's face. "You can't understand people's body language anymore?" Body language? That was what it was called? It seemed like a small term, but it described it perfectly. Batgirl nodded. "Oh, Cass. I'm sorry."
"I... I feel weird. Like I should be able to see like I used to, like I know how, but I just... can't." She felt like part of her had been blocked off, sectioned away. Like someone had given her a feast, but forgotten to give her water.
Barbara smiled sadly. "I know the feeling. Before this," she knocked on her chair, "I could dance, and run, and fly like you do. And I loved every second of it." She leaned back in her chair and gazed down at her legs, sad, but a long-ago sadness. "I've never gotten over it, but I've accepted it. Accepted being a little broken."
Batgirl stared at Barbara. She had never considered... "If it's any... I don't know the word." She knew words, but not all of them. She didn't know which one to use here.
"Can you describe it?"
Hm. "Make you feel better?"
Barbara thought for a moment. "Consolation, I think."
That sounded about right. "If it's any cons- consolation, when I first saw you, you never looked broken." She thought back to that day in the Clocktower, stealing cans of food from Barbara's cupboard. "You looked strong. You looked brave, and kind."
As she spoke, Barbara started crying. Batgirl jumped, startled. She had only seen Barbara cry once, when No Man's Land was lifted and Gotham could go back to being a proper city full of people. Had she done something to upset Barbara? Her words were still new. Had she used them wrong?
But Barbara was also smiling. "Thank you. I needed to hear that."
Batgirl smiled weakly. She hadn't done something wrong. "Barbara?"
"Hm?"
"You told me things. I saw that they were stories, but I couldn't understand them. Could you tell them to me now?" She had heard the word 'Batgirl' in many of them, and 'Robin' and 'Batman' and 'Nightwing'. She felt like they were important, and would like to hear them.
"Of course!" Barbara led her to the living room, and transferred herself to the couch. Batgirl sat beside her. "When I was about your age, all I wanted was to be a cop, like my dad. But he wouldn't let me, said it was too dangerous. And then, I went to a costume party, dressed as Batman. It was great, until Killer Moth crashed the party..."
Cassandra walked down the stairs, humming a song she had heard on the radio before leaving her apartment. It had a good dancing beat. She'd have to ask Tim or Barb what it was called so she could buy the CD.
She winced a bit as she pushed open the door. She'd been fighting a cult of... something or other, she hadn't been listening, a few nights ago. Of course, one of them had used magic to freeze her in place. And then stabbed her. Robin had knocked the magic user out, and once the rest of the cult had been out cold, rushed her back to her apartment for stitches.
She'd insisted she was fine, but Barb had forbidden her from patrol. And since taking the Batgirl suit away had never stopped Cass before, she'd had Alfred stop by Cass's apartment every night. Anyone else, she would have been able to slip by. Robin? No problem. Nightwing? Easy. Alfred? No one got past Alfred. He was a deadly combination of baked goods and pleasantness that was too perfect to be coincidence.
And she'd thought he'd been kind. He was, but now she saw him for what he was. Cunning, manipulative, and ruthless. She hoped she'd never get on his bad side.
So, no patrol. Not until her stitches came out, at least, although Barbara would probably insist on another week to be safe. Cass wrinkled her face at the thought.
"Just take some time to be Cass," Barbara had said the first and only time Cass had tried to sneak past Alfred. "I know you don't have much interest in an identity besides Batgirl, but it's important. You're Batgirl, but you're also Cassandra. You should see what she's like."
Which made no sense. Cass was Batgirl was Cass. But since she had nothing else to do during the day besides trying (and failing) to read, she was exploring her neighbourhood.
Her first stop was a place she'd found yesterday. A little ice cream shop, shoved between two office buildings. She didn't know what it was called; even if she could read, the sign was too worn out to make sense of the letters. But it was a block from her apartment and it had the best chocolate ice cream Cass had ever tried.
"Oh! Cass!"
The voice sounded familiar. Cass turned, smiling when she caught sight of the familiar boy. Even without the red vest, he was completely recognizable. "Hi Ro-"
He held his finger to his lips and made a shushing sound. "Not outside of the costume, remember?"
Right. Secret identity. She still didn't see the point. "Right. Um." He'd never told her his name. Really, the only 'real' name she knew was Batman's. But that was only because Bruce Wayne looked exactly the same, no matter how clumsy he tried to be.
"Oh, right. Um, Alvin." That was a lie. She crossed her arms and jutted out her hip, raising one eyebrow. She'd seen Stephanie do it, and it always conveyed disbelief so well.
He just grinned at her. "Sorry. I'll keep bugging him." Him being Batman. "He won't let me tell anyone. It's so infuriating."
"I heard." Barb had told her about Robin's constant difficulties in Young Justice, being the only member who didn't technically exist. "Just tell Bruce that if I can keep his secret, I can keep yours."
"Sure." Her words took a moment to sink in, and when they did, he gaped at her. "How...? When?!"
Had Robin known who Batman was? He had to. Barbara knew. Cass hoped she hadn't just spilled Batman's secret. That would be the exact opposite of what she wanted. "When he went on trial. He was all over the television."
She could see it click in Robin's mind, that little expression he got when he detectived something. Was detectived a word? She would have to ask. If it wasn't, it should be. It was a good word. "Right. And you would have seen how he moved."
Cass nodded. "Yup." She poked 'Alvin' in the side. "I was going to get ice cream. Want to come?"
"Yes!" 'Alvin' lit up at the idea. Together, they headed for her ice cream place. "'The Ice Cream Social', huh? Good name."
How had he read that? She looked up at the sign again. The words were still very faded. She squinted at it for a minute before shaking her head. Someday, she'd be able to read the sign, no matter how faded the words were.
They entered, passing the frozen yogurt machine on the wall and heading straight for the ice cream counter. "Hello!"
The man behind the counter smiled at her. "Hello. Back again?"
She grinned. Once she'd found the place yesterday, she'd been back twice more. It was really good ice cream. "Yes. I brought a friend!"
"And hello to you sir. What can I get you kids today?"
"Two scoops of chocolate." Cass said immediately. Maybe she should try something different though. "On a waffle cone. With sprinkles and peanuts." And then belatedly, she added, "Please." The man chuckled and dipped his scooper into the chocolate, rolling the ice cream into a beautiful ball.
'Alvin' was looking closely at the vanilla ice cream. "I don't mean to be rude, but is this made with real vanilla, or artificial?"
"Real." The man handed Cass her cone and she took it eagerly. "It's a bit more expensive, but I think it's worth it."
'Alvin' still looked skeptical, but he nodded. "I'll take two scoops in a sugar cone please."
They had paid, left, and gotten halfway to the nearest park bench before 'Alvin' tried his ice cream. "Wow. That is surprisingly good for a hole in the wall parlour."
Cass was almost done her first scoop. The sprinkles and nuts had been a great idea. Next time, she was trying chocolate syrup as well. "It has the best ice cream." They sat on a bench that was secluded enough not to be overheard. "Did you need something?" Robin didn't normally come and find her during the day. He never had, if she was being accurate. Being accurate was very important, Batman often said.
"Nah, not really." 'Alvin' leaned back on the bench and took a large lick of his ice cream. "Babs was wondering how being Cass was going."
"Hm." She considered, finishing her first scoop and starting the second while she thought. "Not as bad as I thought. It's boring, but in a good way. It'll be bad boring in a few days though."
'Alvin' nodded, and continued working on his ice cream. Cass used the silence to think. Barbara had given her Batgirl. How could she be anything else? Batgirl was motion, and strength, and trust, and family. Batgirl was good, and innocence. Batgirl was everything she had lost when Cain had put that pink dress on her, and put her hair in two tails, and told her to kill a man.
But...
(Be accurate. An inaccurate report could cause serious harm or death to someone, simply because they didn't have all the information.)
Barbara had also given her Cassandra. Barbara had given her Cassandra before she'd given her Batgirl. It was the first name she'd ever had. But who was Cassandra?
"Just take some time to be Cassandra." Barb had said. "You should see what she's like."
What was Cassandra like? Cassandra...
Cassandra liked chocolate ice cream. She'd never had ice cream on patrol before. Stephanie had taken her out for burgers once though. And Cassandra liked music, and dancing to music. And Cassandra was friends with Barb, just like Batgirl was friends with Oracle. And Cassandra rather liked this park bench. There was a tree big enough to give them shade behind the bench, and a small pond nearby, and frogs singing in the pond.
Maybe Barb had a point.
"Your ice cream is melting." 'Alvin' pointed out.
Quickly, Cass licked up the melted ice cream running down her cone before it could touch her hand. Then she ate the rest of it, savouring every bite. She had a mission now. She had to find out what the name that Barbara had given her meant. She knew what the name meant, Steph had looked it up once. Unheeded Prophetess. But Cass wanted to know what it meant to her, what Cassandra was when she wasn't Batgirl.
She popped the tip of her cone in her mouth, then turned to 'Alvin', very ready to go find more things about herself. 'Alvin' was just starting his second scoop. She frowned. "You eat slow. How are we supposed to have a good boring day if you're going to spend the entire time eating?"
"This is part of the good boring." He took another slow lick of his ice cream. "Just sit back, relax. Do some people watching."
"Some what?"
"Look at the people. If you want to make detective practice out of it, try and figure out where they came from and where they're going. Or what their job is. Or just watch them. Up to you."
So Cass did. The lady with the stroller was heading home from the park. That couple had just come from The Ice Cream Social. She recognized the perfect scoops. That man was coming back from grocery shopping. That man and his dog were going through garbages for bottles. They had a very impressive stack in their cart. That lady and her dog were heading to play fetch.
That man looked depressed. With his rumpled suit and large cardboard box, she thought maybe he'd just been fired. Those three kids were very excited, but the fourth one was dragging her feet as she walked. She was soaking wet. Maybe she'd fallen in a pond? Those two guys looked shady. Every once in a while, someone would approach them and some subtle hand movements would happen. They were probably drug dealers. That woman was sitting on another park bench and rubbing circles on her tummy. Every once in a while she would look down at it and smile. She was probably pregnant, but it was too early for her to be showing.
Cassandra thought she liked people watching too.
Cassandra Cain snarled and punched the wall. She had not wanted this name. She rejected it. After what her father and Deathstroke had done to her...
She punched the wall again. She was going to kill both of them. Then her sisters would be safe and those two monsters would never hurt anyone ever again. She'd already gotten the information she needed from the Batcave. She knew where to find him. She pulled on her cape and mask and headed out.
But when she got there, it was Deathstroke and her sisters, waiting for her. Her sisters put up a fight. They were very well trained, nearly as well trained as she was. But she had been fighting for much longer than any of them, than all of them combined. Cain had tried to make an army of Cassandras. He had made an army alright, but none were her equal.
They did accomplish one thing though. While she was fighting her sisters, Deathstroke had gotten away. That was fine. Deathstroke could wait. It was Cain she wanted.
Once all but one of her sisters were unconscious, she stepped on the last girl's shoulder, pinning her to the ground. "Where is David Cain?"
The girl just snarled. "You're going to have to do better than that."
Cassandra Cain pulled a batarang from her belt. "Fine." She threw it hard enough for it to embed itself in her shoulder, despite the blunt edges. The girl screamed. Another batarang, this time in the upper arm. Then another one, an inch lower.
She had just gotten to the elbow when the girl cried out, "He's in Platinum Flats! He said he was going to destroy the heroes with one shot!"
"Thank you." Cassandra Cain then kicked the girl in the head, knocking her out. Almost as an afterthought, she pulled out the batarangs and bandaged the wounds. They were deep, but not deep enough to need stitches.
Platinum Flats was a new community, built just this year specifically with the comfort and safety of the people living there. As a result, the apartments mostly looked the same, and the entire city was laid out in a type of pattern. There was a hotel every this number of blocks, and four major shopping centers, one in each corner of the city. There was even a coffee shop every five blocks. It was a boring city, with none of the life of Gotham. But it was where Barbara had set up shop. Her Birds were investigating something weird about the city.
If David Cain wanted to destroy the hero community in one shot, there was no better target than Oracle. Oracle was the information nexus. She, more than Batman or Superman or even Wonder Woman, kept the heroes connected. Without her, the Justice League, the JSA and every other community would be crippled.
She'd only been to the Birds' building once, but it was enough. Barb had bought the building as soon as it had been completed, and then done her own renovations. But Cass didn't know if those renovations were done, or if they included bulletproof glass. Not that it would matter. David Cain had taught her all about guns, years ago. And that sniper rifle was strong enough to punch through any kinds of glass, bulletproof or not.
She grappled across the street, to the building Cain was sitting on top of. Sitting on top of and pointing a gun at the only woman to have ever cared for Cass. Despite laying down for better stability, it was nothing for Cain to roll to his feet, dodging her kick. "I suppose it's too much to hope you're here to help me?"
After all he'd done, he expected her to lie down and submit. "I'm not." He couldn't see her face, but she hoped he'd picked up some of what he'd taught her. Her every line screamed furious. "I'm here to kill you!"
He smirked and aimed his gun. She leapt at him, just barely managing to change the trajectory when it went off. She could see Barbara across the street look up in shock as the bullet landed in her carpet, and move immediately away from the windows. She kicked the gun out of his hands, and it skidded onto the rain soaked rooftop.
He was saying words to her, but she ignored them. She ignored everything but her mission. Finish him. Make up for what she'd done, what he'd made her do.
Be done. Done with him. Done with everything.
He kept trying to speak, but she didn't let him. She swiped his ankles out from under him, leaping onto his chest and punching him once, twice, three times in the face. He roared and threw her off, still trying to speak, so she hit him in the throat. Now he would be the silent one.
"All the years you trained me, all the years you taught me what you wanted me to know, you never asked what I wanted." It shouldn't be this easy to beat him. Perhaps he was just getting old. Perhaps she had surpassed him. "I wanted to read!" She stomped down for emphasis, breaking most of the bones in his right hand. He would never shoot without shaking again. "I wanted to speak!" She hoisted him up by his shirt and punched him.
"I wanted a father!"
WHAM
"I wanted a family!"
WHAM
"I wanted somewhere to belong!"
WHAM
Blood bubbled out of his mouth, words trying to form around broken teeth. "Cassandra... listen..."
"Never again." She kicked him, a high kick to the face. "And you have no right to that name."
Her kick sent him over the side of the building. Cassandra Cain stood over him, his left hand the only thing between him and a thirty story fall. She raised a foot.
She wanted this. She wanted to kill him.
But the pain wouldn't go away. She wouldn't become him, a monster who gets paid to take life. She would be worse, a person fallen, corrupted. The Cassandra she had been before would choose to become a monster. The Cassandra she had been before would die. Only Cain would be left.
She lowered her foot. David Cain was speaking, but she wasn't listening. She moved a few steps away and took off her cowl. She wouldn't kill him, but she wouldn't save him either. She was making this choice. Not Batgirl.
If he pulls himself up, he goes to prison. It was as simple as that.
She had broken his other hand. There was no way for him to pull himself off.
She heard his fingers slip off the ledge, but she was already diving forward, grabbing for it. He nearly dragged her down with him, but a line wrapped around her ankle. A familiar voice called out, "Batman! Hurry!"
Batman, tall and dark with hidden joy and outward sorrow, rappelled down the building, just enough to wrap another line around Cain's chest.
Five minutes later, Cain was unconscious with a tranquilizer that would keep him out for at least four hours. Batman took no chances though. He never did. He tied Cain tight. Very tight. "Batgirl, I know it feels like your mission isn't over."
It wasn't. Cain was still alive. She had come into this with conviction. She had promised she was going to kill David Cain, and he was still alive. He was still alive.
She said nothing, so Batman continued. "All of us feel the same way, because the mission is never over." That was helpful. "If you choose to clean up his mess, that's a worthy mission. If you choose to put criminals behind bars, that's one less on the streets to hurt others. But it's your choice. It's always your choice."
He took a deep breath. Cass frowned. He was... nervous? Batman didn't do nervous. But he was.
"Just like this is your choice. Something I should have done long ago." Batman glanced at Robin, who was very conspicuously giving them space, telling Oracle it was all clear. "If you want, when we get back to Gotham, we can start adoption proceedings."
What?
He seemed flustered, talking fast, trying to justify his words as soon as they came out. "You're one of us. You always have been. And I'm sorry I didn't let you know before. I just want to make sure you'll always have a real family as long as I'm around."
Cass grinned widely and stepped forward, wrapping her arms around Bruce's chest. "Yes."
And they stood in the rain, smiling and crying.
Cassandra Wayne sat on the roof and thought. She was going out tonight, as Batgirl. But right now, she wanted to sit and think. For right now, sitting and thinking was good.
It was the anniversary of the day she'd first become Batgirl. And she wanted to think about what that meant to her. She knew what Batgirl meant to other people. For Barbara, Batgirl was freedom, and youth, and hope, and joy. She'd met her first love as Batgirl, she'd found her calling as Batgirl. She'd lost everything as Batgirl.
For most of the family, Batgirl was trust, and dependability. Batgirl was an ally, a friend, someone to count on when things were at their worst.
For Cass...
Cassandra was a small child who watched as a man died. Cassandra was a girl experiencing ice cream for the first time. Cassandra was a girl who was learning what parents were supposed to be, from Barb and from Bruce. Cassandra was a girl who had nearly fallen, but who had caught herself. Cassandra was a girl who had been crying out for a family, and who had finally been heard.
Batgirl wasn't innocence. Batgirl was stronger than that. Batgirl didn't turn away from the evils of the world so as to be uncorrupted by them. Batgirl faced the evils head on, bathed herself in the blood, mud and sweat of battle, so as to save those too innocent to save themselves. Batgirl was strong, and good, and sometimes she fell, but she always picked herself back up.
There would be no celebration for Batgirl today. No one else had marked the date. The only reason Cass knew the date was because she'd gone through Barbara's No Man's Land journal and done a lot of counting to figure it out.
And now. Cassandra Wayne stood up and climbed down from the roof. She didn't know who Cassandra Wayne would be from here on. All she knew is that she rejected the name of Cain, and all that came with it. She could speak. She would learn to read. She had somewhere she belonged, where she had a family. Cassandra Wayne would be similar to her as she had been, but also completely different. And she couldn't wait.
AN: For Batfam Week's fifth prompt Legacy.
I had a section of story that followed Cass and David's fight from the comics more closely, but it ended up being too wordy and not what I wanted from the story, so I scrapped it. I hope you like the paraphrased version!
Read and enjoy!