Disclaimer: I don't own Once Upon a Time.
Warning: SwanQueen. Possibly misplaced grammar. English isn't my native language, but I promise to always try my best at catching every mistake I can.
AN: Hook and Emma never happened, but the Regina and Robin plot still remains. Takes place during the Maleficent-Lily Arc.
Acceptance
Emma was slightly drunk.
She sat in the far corner of Granny's diner, where the shadows never really seem to disperse, and she nursed a glass of whiskey. She could tell that Ruby and Granny were staring at her unsure of what to do or what to say. They had never seen Emma (who was always the embodiment of strength and confidence) look so lost. They tried to comfort her and Emma, after giving a weak smile and asking to be left alone, felt relief that they did what she wanted. Ruby gave Emma one last concern look and a quiet "We're here if you need us," and Emma was left in peace to wallow and think.
They lied.
The parents she always believed in as the epitome of all things good and kind had done something unforgivable. They had taken a child (not just anyone's child, Maleficent's child) and they had sacrifice that infant for Emma.
"We did it, Emma, so that you could be the person you are now. That goodness in you is what we are trying to save!"
Her mother's words echoed in her head.
Maybe the worst part of all this mess was that her parents felt justified in a way about it. There was regrets and there was sadness, but in their minds, their actions were above reproach. They did what they had to do for Emma. They wanted to give her, her best chance.
'Wow. The view from their pedestal must be amazing,' Emma thought bitterly. She took another shot of whiskey.
Through all the turmoil, she thought about her son's other mother. It was on the tip of her fingertip to call Regina. She even had her phone out and the photo of Regina scowling at her from the screen made her lips twitch. The one thing that made any sense in this crazy world was Regina.
She needed Regina.
It was almost terrifying how much she wanted to see the other woman. After a moment, she put the phone back (face down) on the counter. Emma doesn't know if she wanted Regina to see her like this. Lonely. Despondent. Hurt. Then again, Regina has already seen her at her worst hasn't she? And she had seen Regina at her worst.
Almost like an answer to her prayer, someone slid into the seat across from her.
When she looked up, Regina was there.
Dark scowl and all.
"Are you alright?" Regina asked.
Against her will, Emma felt herself relax a little. The tension for the last few weeks seeped away and the suffocating feeling in her chest eased. Regina was like a breath of fresh air. Here was someone who didn't see her as the Savior or Snow White's daughter.
Here was someone who saw 'Emma'.
"Why didn't you say anything?" Emma asked. Regina had known all along what her mother had done and she had kept quiet.
There was a part of Emma that felt a little betrayed that Regina had kept this secret from her.
But then again, it just goes to show how much Regina had changed. The old Regina would have used the information to exploit and hurt people. This Regina had quietly listened to Snow and agreed to keep the secret.
"It wasn't my secret to tell," Regina answered. Her dark eyes looked tired and wary. "Are you angry with me?"
Emma shook her head. "No." If anything, she felt a burst of pride for Regina. It was Snow and David who failed her.
Emma finished the glass of whiskey much to Regina's grimace.
"Come on, let's take a walk and sober you up," Regina grabbed Emma's arm.
"I'm not that drunk," Emma protested. She doesn't fight it though, when Regina pulled her from the booth. She tried to ignore the way her arm tingled where they touched. She was a tad disappointed when Regina released her when they got outside.
The season was getting colder and outside Granny's diner Emma gathered her leather jacket closer to herself as the wind blew. Regina in her tailored winter coat shivered slightly. The winters in Storybrook was never the same after the whole Ice Queen fiasco. The colder season are more brutal and longer lasting.
It was almost perfect the way it fit her mood.
Emma moodily trudged down the street following after Regina's elegant figure. She's more ungainly and awkward and if there was ever a time where she felt ugly in comparison, it was now as Regina seamlessly walked forward with her chin held high as if she owned everything.
Emma finally matched her step with Regina and they walked shoulder to shoulder.
They said nothing, yet everything in the silence as they walked down the street. Like always, there was a connection there that went beyond being Henry's mothers.
'Are you okay?' Regina silently asked.
'No.'
'You will be.'
The confidence of that silent answer almost made Emma believe that everything will turn out alright. Abruptly, Emma stopped and she grabbed a surprise Regina. She pulled Regina into a tight hug.
"Thanks."
There wasn't enough words in the world to convey what Regina meant to her.
Regina was a blessing.
Emma firmly believed that even when Regina herself didn't think so.
Regina was stiff in her arms. Then slowly, Regina's body lost the tension. She even brought a hesitant hand up to gently rest on Emma's back.
They held each other for a long moment.
Reluctantly, Emma release Regina when she noticed that some stragglers on the street were starting to stare.
"Will you help me with something?" Emma asked.
Regina frowned, but nodded.
"I need to find someone. Will you come with me?"
Emma needed to find Lily.
"You're leaving Storybrook?" Regina frowned slightly. "And you want me to come with you?"
"Yeah."
"Alright," Regina agreed. She looked thoughtful. "We can warned Robin about Zelena while we're there."
A pang went through Emma when Regina said his name.
"Yeah." Emma's voice was more subdued.
Regina gave her a strange look.
"Are you okay?" Regina looked almost concern. She placed a hand against Emma's forehead as if to check for a fever.
Emma flushed.
"I'm fine." Emma hastily moved away. "We'll leave in a few days?"
Regina nodded. "Henry can stay with Mary Margret and David while we're gone."
Emma flinched.
Regina sighed. "They're his family too." Her voice was almost gentler than normal.
"I know," Emma said unhappily. Like it or not, Emma wouldn't deprive Henry of his grandparents no matter how she felt about them.
They were both lost in thoughts as they continued to walk.
Before she knew it, they were already at Regina's home.
"Come on," Regina grabbed the edge of Emma's jacket. "You can spend the night."
Wide-eyed, Emma could only follow Regina up the cobbled walkway.
Right before they reached the front door, Emma grabbed Regina's hand and stopped her.
"Hey Regina, do you remember that time you locked yourself in your office?" Emma asked.
It wasn't a pleasant memory for Regina. The sour look on her face told Emma that she did remember, but wished she didn't.
"I told you that I would help you find your happy ending," Emma looked Regina right in the eyes. "I meant it."
Even if Regina's happy ending was with Robin Hood.
"Always the savior, aren't you, Ms. Swan," Regina rolled her eyes. Still, years of carefully studying Regina allowed Emma to pick up on the slight upturn of Regina's lips.
The front door opened revealing Henry.
"Hey Mom. Mom," he greeted them.
Later, while sitting with her son and Regina in a ridiculous large kitchen and listening to Henry talk about his day, Emma felt like she had finally found her place in her world. It was with the two people she cared for the most and Emma was overwhelm with a sense of happiness that was so strong, it scared her.
Past history have always warned her that when one good thing happens, usually a bad thing follows.
A dark sliver of thought wormed its way through her head.
She would have done everything, give anything, to keep Regina and Henry safe.
That's why, when Lily was down on her knees with a hateful glare and a promise to destroy every good thing in Emma's life, Emma almost pulled the trigger.
Regina stopped her.
In the motel room she had booked that night, Emma buried her face into her knees and shuddered, horrified about what she had been about to do.
"It's okay," Regina said through the door that Emma refused to open. But no amount of words could make the fear in Emma disappear. She came so close to becoming a monster. If Regina hadn't stopped her...
'You were born with a propensity for darkness.' Snow's voice echoed in her head.
"Listen Emma," Regina's voice sounded tired. "The fact that you stopped proved that you're every bit the savior that Henry thought you were. "
'No. No, I'm not.' Emma thought miserably. If Regina hadn't been there, she wouldn't have hesitated. Lily would be dead now instead of sleeping in the other room under guard by Robin.
Emma heard Regina sighed.
"Having faith in yourself is a hard thing. I know from experience." There was a dark sense of humor in Regina's voice. "So here's my advice. If you don't have faith in yourself, then have faith in Henry. He believes in you. So does your parents. Most of Storybrook, too." A small huff and a slight hesitation. "I believe in you as well. "
Emma got up and opened the door.
Regina looked a little startled.
That's when Emma noticed the bags under Regina's eyes and the exhausted expression.
"It's been one hell of a day, huh?" Emma leaned against the door. She shared a rueful look with Regina.
Finding Lily. Finding Robin. Finding Zelena. A pregnant Zelena.
Emma doesn't know how much more she could honestly take or how much more Regina could stand.
Still...standing in the doorway of a crappy motel room with the dirty lights and dingy carpets, Emma realized that she wouldn't want to be anywhere else right now because the little confession that Regina gave was enough to make everything that happened worth it.
She finally got the confirmation she needed.
She had gone from being a nuisance, to being Henry's other mother, to, finally at that moment, being someone Regina considered a friend. Not that Regina had too many of those (Regina had too many trust issues).
That's what makes it more precious.
Emma chose to believe Regina. She could feel the truth in Regina's words. Regina was, after all, the one person in the world who was always overwhelming blunt when it came to Emma. She wasn't afraid to tell Emma the hard truth.
"Get some rest," Regina laid a slender hand on Emma's shoulder. "We have a long drive ahead of us."
'The carpool from hell,' Emma thought with a cringe.
Her and Regina along with Robin, Lily, and Zelena. It would be a miracle if they made it back to Storybrook in one piece.
"Goodnight, Emma."
With that Regina turned to go back to her room.
'I believe in you as well.'
Regina's acceptance was enough for Emma at the moment.
Emma, with that thought in mind, drifted off to sleep peacefully for the first time in weeks.