Disclaimer: I don't own Once Upon a Time.
Warning: SwanQueen. Possibly misplaced grammar. English isn't my native language, but I promise to always try my best at catching every mistake I can.
AN: This takes place during the Author Arc and goes through the Dark Swan Arc. Slight AU. I think you'll figure it out as you read what changes were made. Hook and Emma never happened, but the Regina and Robin plot still remains.
Awareness
Later Emma and Henry would refer to the world that the author wrote them into as the Mirror World. ("It's kind of like when Captain Kirk meets evil Spock, you know?" Henry shrugged and the nerd that Emma was on the inside felt proud that her son knew that reference.) They bonded over how strange everything had been. How off kiltered they felt as everyone they knew weren't themselves.
"It was weird to see Mom like that," Henry admitted as they sat in the park.
It has been a few weeks since they broke the spell and everything had, more or less, gotten back to normal. Or what passes for normal in Storybrook in any case.
Emma slouched next to Henry on the bench. Peering over her sunglasses, Emma caught sight of Archie walking Pongo in the distance. She lifted her hand in greeting and Archie waved back before disappearing around the bend.
"Yeah, it was." Emma agreed. Seeing Regina in place of Snow had probably been the strangest thing she had ever seen (this coming from the fact that Emma had seen a lot of strange things since coming to Storybrook).
Remembering that Regina from that world meant remembering how Regina had looked as she laid on the ground, brown eyes blown wide in shock as the blood spilled from her stomach. Remembering that Regina meant remembering how Henry desperately tried to staunch the wound and how utterly panicked Emma had been as she stood over Regina's body. Remembering meant remembering how helpless she felt. Regina was dying and there was nothing Emma could do but watch as Regina struggled to stay alive.
Even though everything had somehow worked itself out, Emma still wished Isaac was in front of her.
She would have loved to get another crack at his nose.
"I had another dream again," Henry confessed. He looked at Emma. His eyes seemed older than they should be. He looked tired and Emma knew the same look was reflected on her face. They haven't been able to sleep soundly since the nightmares started. "She died in this dream, too."
Having bad dreams about Regina dying was something they had in common now.
'Like mother, like son,' Emma thought depressingly.
In sympathy, she reached out to ruffle his hair.
"They'll pass," she said. She tried to put as much confidence in her tone as she could.
Henry, taking her words at face-value, nodded. The absolute trust he had in her made Emma swallow a little. The confidence he had in her placed a whole lot of responsibility onto her shoulders, responsibility that she was still getting use to as a mother and frankly, it terrified her, but at least Henry looked a little more at ease at Emma's reassurance.
A happy Henry meant that Emma was happy.
"Come on, Kid. I'll treat you to lunch at Grannys," Emma offered.
Her cell rang.
Pulling it out, Emma doesn't bother seeing who it was before she answered.
"Emma!" Snow's voice was frantic. "Listen!"
The rest of Snow's words were spoken fast and jumbled as the panic set in.
"Gold…. Darkness...Unleashed...Sorcerer dead!...Regina..."
Emma got the gist and the rest she understood because flying up above her head at that moment was a black shadow.
Henry, who was listening in on the call, paled. "It's going after mom, isn't it?"
"Not if I can help it," Emma said firmly.
She took off with Henry at her heel. She practically leaped into her bug and in the passenger seat, Henry scrabbled for the belt.
They must have broken every speeding limit in Storybrook.
'It's a good thing I'm the sheriff!' Emma thought grimly.
When they arrived at the town square where everything and everyone seemed to converge, Emma wasted no time jumping out the car. She spotted Snow's figure up head trying desperately to shield Regina. Snow kept Regina behind her as she fired arrow after arrow at the black shadow and Regina took to being protected the way cats took to a bath; bristling and with claws out. Even though she was unhappy, Regina did what David told her to do. She stayed behind everyone else, throwing fireball after fireball. Robin was beside her shooting his own arrows.
Emma's heart dropped when the black shadow descended.
The black mass threw Snow, David, and Robin to the side, as if they were nothing, and it wrapped itself around Regina.
"Mom!" Henry took off. Only Snow reaching out and grabbing him kept him from reaching his other mother. David and Robin got to their feet. They were thrown back several feet again by a forceful wind when they tried to get close.
"Regina!" Robin's voice was frantic. "Hang on!"
"Regina!" Snow cried.
"Mom!"
There was so many voices calling out Regina's name. Emma could only stand there, numb to what she was seeing. David and Robin and even Snow tried over and over again to push forward through the barrier and each time they were thrown.
The darkness wasn't willing to let Regina go.
When the darkness threw Henry that's when Regina shouted at them to stop.
Through the black mass, Emma saw Regina's face.
'It's over,' the expression said. Regina looked resigned. There was a heaviness in Regina's eyes and one of apology as she looked at a desperate Henry.
Emma finally reacted.
Ignoring all the cries of her name, she somehow managed to get through the tornado like winds that surrounded Regina. She shoved herself into the swirling mass of black shadows and she shoved Regina out.
'You're so much like your mother sometimes,' David said once. 'Your mother also has a habit of jumping into things without thinking.'
Recklessness ran in the family.
So does the ability to hope against the odds.
That's why (after the Enchanted Forrest, Camelot, after Merlin, even after freaking King Arthur) when that hope fails, the damage that it does cuts tens times worst than the deepest wounds.
Emma Swan, the Savior, doesn't exist.
Only Emma Swan, the Dark One, is left.
She was powerful, bitter, and admittedly a little unhinged as she sat on top of the jungle gym in Storybrook Park. Killian looked wary as he approached. His eyes studied the dark leather outfit, the white hair, and the pale make-up.
"Hey Swan," he said. His voice was cautious.
Emma patted the seat next to her.
It hurt slightly that he kept his guard up as he approached, but it was understandable. With his history with the Dark One, it was a wonder that he even took the seat next to her.
"How are you?" he asked.
Emma cocked an eyebrow.
"Right," he muttered.
Even with his reluctance, Emma was glad to see him. He was the one friend she made on her own since she came to Storybrook (Graham had belonged to Regina and Red had belong to Snow). Once she got pass the douchey, play-boy act, she found that they had a lot in common. They had the same dry sense of humor. They both like rum and traveling (her in her bug and him in the Jolly Roger). They even had the same fondness for their leather outfits. Mostly, though, they bonded over the fact that they survived the world in a similar way; always looking after themselves first and foremost.
Killian knew what it was like to have no one, to feel as if the world was looking down and judging. They drank to being a survivor on more than one occasion.
He even knew about her complicated feelings about Regina.
"I've seen the way you look at her mate," he said before the mess with Issac happened. He caught her in the corner of the Granny's diner, trying vainly not to stare at Regina. "Not judging," he said when Emma started to look defensive. "It would be rather hypocritical of me." At her surprised look, he added. "It's can be a long trip at sea with no woman, Swan."
He slid into her booth, uninvited.
"Though there's no accounting for taste," he remarked.
Emma had spent the rest of dinner defending Regina.
Killian ends up becoming someone she trusted. She went to him with all her Regina thoughts, complaints, and dreams and he listened. Sometimes, in the middle of the night, they would sit on the railing of the Jolly Roger sharing the rum as they stared up at the stars.
A part of Emma wistfully missed those times.
"Who sent you out here?" Emma asked.
"No one sent me, love." Killian gave her a charming smile. Her lie detector went off. Someone, probably Snow or David, had managed to convinced Killian to go talk with her. They were trying to use him to find out why she had cast the curse.
If only they knew how much she had sinned...
'I'm going to make up for it,' Emma thought. The plan she had was slowly coming together. Soon Excalibur will be complete and the nightmare would be over.
"What happen in Camelot, Swan?" he asked. Killian was nothing, if not blunt.
Emma snorted.
Killian searched her face. "Was it that bad?"
"Worst." Emma replied.
She still remembered the deep, dark desperation that coursed through her veins as she took Regina's body to that flower field. She could still tasted the bile when the horrible realization that Regina wouldn't survive finally hit her.
"Let me die a hero," Regina had said. The wound on her neck (the one she got trying to protect Emma) began to darken. Even after all this time, even after all the good she's done, Regina still felt the need to prove that she could be a savior. That she could be a hero.
Emma's shaking fingers had smoothed back a lock of Regina's hair.
"Take care of Henry," Regina scrabbled for Emma's hand. "Watch out for Robin too."
Emma brought her forehead down to touch Regina's forehead. She looked into a pair of dark eyes that was starting to flutter close. "I'm so sorry, Regina."
She couldn't let Regina die.
The dagger in Emma's hand grew bitter cold as a black tendril spilled out. Regina's body disappeared and Emma saw the name Regina Mills etched on the blade before a mist of black engulfed her.
She found herself in a gloomy, twisted part of a forest. In front of her, at the edge of a clearing, a dark, tar-looking liquid began to bubble and rise from a circular stone etched with runes. When it solidified, a figure in a tattered cloak rose.
What stepped out of that circle wasn't Regina. It wasn't even the Evil Queen. It was a new breed of evil.
That's when it finally hit Emma what she had done.
She could still see the tears and accusation in Regina's eyes.
In desperation, she conjured the curse and brought everyone back to Storybrook without their memories.
'I'm going to fix it,' Emma told herself. 'I have to.'
But she couldn't do it alone.
Emma was fully aware of Killian's one-sided feelings for her.
The old Emma would have ignored it in favor of friendship.
The new Emma wasn't afraid to exploit it.
"Will you help me with something?" she asked.
Killian eyed her carefully. "Depends, Swan, on what it is."
Emma moved.
Killian wasn't fast enough to evade her. His heart was already in Emma's grasp. It was warm, beating in Emma's hand.
"Swan." He seemed stunned.
"I'll give it back once I'm finished," she promised.
The heart vanished to a lock box she kept in her house. It was her only assurance that Killian wouldn't go babbling to David or Snow about what she was planning.
"What do you need me to do?" he looked wary.
"I need Excalibur. I need you to help me find the rest of it."
There wasn't any judgment on his face as he studied her.
That was why they got along so well.
Killian understood that sometimes there was no other path to travel other than the dark one.
"Alright, Swan," he said.
They got right to work.
...
The anguish on Regina's face when she found out the truth was hard.
"I never wanted to be like this! You've made me a monster!" Regina raged.
What followed afterward was Snow and David on twenty-four hour guard as Regina lets loose on the town.
Regina, as the Dark One, has less self-control. She's more volatile and her temper was shorter. No one except Henry was safe and already people were wishing for the Evil Queen days as Regina terrorized them.
Emma found herself tailing after Regina, desperately trying to keep the damage to a minimum until she could find a way to get Regina back to normal. Her plan of making Excalibur whole and using Zelena was beginning to crumble and wither.
In the end, in spite of the anger and betrayed, in spite of how bitter she was, Regina didn't think twice before handing the complete sword to Emma.
"You owe me, Emma," Regina said. There was determination in her voice. Her eyes were so clear and sure that it was difficult to image the internal struggle it took for Regina not to lash out and go after Snow who still with the crowd behind Emma. "Please."
'Let me die a hero.'
Emma's hand shook when she took the Excalibur.
She closed her eyes the moment she stabbed Regina.
There was a rush of wind and a tingling feeling as the darkness left her. She was Emma Swan, the savior, again. Excalibur fell apart in her hands and Emma caught Regina's falling body.
"Mom!" Henry was on Regina's other side.
"Henry..." Regina managed to smile weakly.
Emma couldn't take her eyes off Regina's face. Regina was so pale now. The whiteness of her complexion made the black poisonous cut on her neck stand out even more.
Henry's name was the last thing Regina said before her eyes closed and her heart stopped.
...
At Regina's funeral, she saw Robin hold on tightly to Roland's hand. She saw Snow and David holding onto each other. Even Henry was next to Violet.
The space by Emma's side was empty.
"Emma." Snow tried to reach out and comfort her, but Emma's magic kept an invisible barrier around her that no one could breach.
The coffin was lowered.
Emma turned away.
She used magic to teleport herself.
"Emma!" Her mother's voice was the last thing she heard as she poofed away.
She showed up in Gold's pawnshop. Grabbing the started man by his coat collar, Emma pulled him in close.
"You owe me," she said. The Dark One might have been pulled from her, but Emma the Savior was just as intimidating and twice as pissed. "You're going to help me get her back."
"Am I?" Gold asked. There was a smirk lingering around the corner of his mouth that Emma wanted to wipe off. She would have socked him if it wasn't for Belle who was standing nearby.
"You are," Emma said firmly.
After a few days of planning, she (and what seems like the entire town) plunged themselves into the Underworld.
...
"Why did you come all this way?" Regina frowned. Only Regina could find it less romantic and more annoying that Emma had journeyed all the way to the underworld to find her. "Why did you drag Henry down here?!"
"I didn't drag him," Emma protested. "He wanted to come."
"So you let him?!"
They got into another fight right then and there and really, Emma should have known that Regina would react in a less sane way when she realized that Henry had come along for the ride.
It was their default.
They were always fighting and arguing; always at each others throat. If only Emma didn't find a pissed-off Regina hot as hell, they might have argued less. They were an old bickering couple; only regretfully without the make-up sex.
There was a baffled look on Regina's face.
All too late, Emma realized that she said her thoughts out loud.
'Shit!'
"Emma-" Regina began.
Emma, horrified, used Snow as an excuse to make her escape. She wasn't proud of running, but it was better than the alternative where Regina is blatantly disgusted and sets Emma on fire. Or worst. Regina could give the 'I just don't feel the same about you,' speech while Emma listens, mortified and dejected.
Emma honestly wasn't ready for the rejection yet.
She avoids being alone with Regina even though Regina tried half a dozen times to speak with her in private. Eventually, Regina got the message. Angry, but composed, Regina allowed Emma to escape, but it didn't stop her from throwing sharp looks at Emma that was tinged with confusion.
Everyone felt the tension, even Henry who looked between his mothers with a frown.
"What happened, Swan?" Killian asked when he got her alone.
"Erg!" Emma wanted to hit her head against the wall.
"English, love." The look he gave her was half amused and half affectionate. Emma slumped on her ass to sit on the ground and Killian joined her.
"Sometimes I wish I'd fallen in love with you," she wearily confessed.
A relationship with even someone like Captain Hook would be less complicated than a relationship with Regina. Hell, a relationship with a Great White Shark would be less dangerous.
The tidal wave of emotion she felt every time she was even near Regina was starting to get more turbulent and complicated. Most times she doesn't know whether to strangle Regina or kiss her (only Regina could drive her that nuts).
Yes, a relationship with Killian would have been less complicated.
Killian doesn't response for a moment. There was a pained look hidden behind his eyes that made Emma flinch (she was so damn insensitive because she was well aware of his feelings for her).
Killian laid a hand on her shoulder.
He normally has only two expressions, playful or smirky, but now Emma was treated to a new expression.
"Things will work out, Swan," he said soberly. "Hero's always get their happy ending."
...
'Good-bye, Emma.'
...
The trip back from the underworld was less dramatic than getting there, but any relief at finally being home was null by the fact that once again she couldn't save Regina. The short, but sincere good-bye Regina gave to her echoed in Emma's head.
"I'm sorry, Mom," Henry said. His arms wrapped themselves around Emma who tried vainly not to cry (because crying in front of your teenage son was kind of lame).
"Thanks, Kiddo," she hugged him back just as tight.
Together, they mourned.
...
Hades, Emma realized grimly, was just as douchey in real life as he was in the cartoon.
He and Zelena deserve one another.
…
When Regina returned, thanks to Zeus, Emma doesn't react right away. She just stared numbly as Henry and Snow rushed forward. A part of her cracked a grin when she saw Regina almost fall backwards with the enthusiastic hug from the most hyper members of the Charming family. David is less forceful, but just as earnest as he greets her.
That left Emma.
The moment they locked eyes, Emma enfolded Regina into her arms.
"Welcome back."
...
Robin dies.
Hades dies.
Regina was in mourning, but she still took on double the work as she fought to take care of an emotionally fragile Zelena. Emma does everything she could to help, but she saw how Regina began to pull away from everyone, even Henry. Regina was distancing herself. She was becoming the close-hearted, angry woman that Emma had met all those years ago when Henry first brought her to Storybrook.
Like hell was Emma going to let Regina revert back.
She dragged Regina out of her house and left a wary Snow and David to look after Zelena and the baby. Getting Regina into the passenger side of her Bug, Emma walked around and got into the driver side.
"No poofing away," Emma warned.
"Poofing is not a word," Regina muttered, but she did was told.
They drove around Storybrook in silence.
"I'm sorry about Robin," Emma finally said. And she was. Robin was a little too preachy for her taste, but Emma could tell he genuinely loved Regina. He didn't deserve to die.
"Thank you," Regina said stiffly.
Emma side-eyed Regina.
"You're going to be okay," Emma said. "You've got me and Henry. We'll get you through this."
Regina doesn't response. She stared out the window lifelessly.
They must have drove around the town thirty-times, but it was worth it to see Regina gradually relax. She even fell asleep with her head pressed against the window.
When the sunlight slants in through the car window to lie on Regina's face, Emma felt her emotions rise up fierce and strong to dwell in her chest. She gripped the steering wheel with white knuckles.
There wasn't a way to bring Robin back. Emma had already check. Gold told her that the Olympian crystal had shattered his soul. It erased his existence right down to the very last atom.
Regina couldn't get the same closure that Robin was in a better place like with Daniel.
Emma was aware how much that haunts Regina.
It was tearing Regina apart.
"You're going to be fine," Emma swore. Her voice was loud, but Regina must have been tired. She doesn't even stir. Knowing that Regina hadn't slept well enough in days, Emma allowed Regina to rest.
Regina was still asleep when Emma brought her back home. Picking up Regina (it was disturbing how light she was) Emma bridal carried her up the walkway to where Snow already had the door open.
"Zelena's asleep, too." Snow mention.
"Thanks," Emma said gratefully.
Snow just smiled. She left to go find David and Zelena's still unnamed baby girl.
Emma was well aware of Henry following behind her as she took Regina up to the master bedroom. Working together, they made Regina as comfortable as they could. Emma carefully put Regina down on the bed and Henry covered her with a quilt.
Together, stubbornly (because that stubbornness was obviously inherited from Snow's side of the family), they watched over Regina.
The frown that was etched on Regina's sleeping face slowly disappeared into a more relax one.
In that room, all that mattered was their little family of three.