A/N: Wow. I actually cannot believe I am FINALLY finishing this! I know it's been forever I'm sorry but I kind of forgot about this story, but the recent Linstead developments made me wish Mouse or Nadia were there to help them both out and work together. And there in came the inspiration haha
Anyways hope you guys like the final chapter of "If Only".
(Also I altered the age of Nadia to 26 at the time Yates kidnapped her, because some readers mentioned that it was a little odd for a 19 year old to be dating an almost 30 year old.)
Also my linebreak stopped working so there's just - in replacement haha
Enjoy!
June 12th, 2018
Nadia stood nervously running her hands over the lace-silk material combination as she stared at her reflection in the mirror. She couldn't believe that this was happening, that she was getting her fairytale ending.
"Hey." Erin smiled poking her head through the door "you almost ready?"
Nadia nodded turning to her friend nervously "Everything's going to go well, right?"
Erin walked over to Nadia, taking the 29 year-olds hands in her own and squeezing gently "Hun, it's going to go perfectly. No one deserves this more than you."
"Can you believe we're really here? This life, it seems unbelievable." Nadia said in awe.
Erin couldn't help but chuckle in agreement; it had been an eventful three years. Mouse and Nadia had fallen hard and fast, and by the time Erin and Jay's wedding came around a year after Jay's proposal, Mouse and Nadia had moved in together.
Nadia had finished her training with the Academy graduating at the top of all her classes, the perks of living with two detectives during her exams, and had originally started out as a rookie in the 21st district working under her favourite Sergeant, Trudy Platt. And although she was her boss, Thursday afternoon visits to the 'fat box' were still a tradition the two cops shared.
Six months in her rookie position and Nadia sat for her detectives exam, and was offered a position in both Intelligence and the Narcotics unit. Although she wanted to work with those she considered her family, they had understood her decision to work in Narcotics - wanting to try and prevent her history becoming someone else's future.
She and Greg had their ups and downs, but they had fought through it all. And on the night of their two-year anniversary, he had proposed.
"Hey, Nads. You with me?" Erin asked clicking her fingers in front of the zoned out woman's face.
Nadia blinked a few times, shaking her head and refocusing on her best friend "yeah sorry, just reminiscing."
"Well as sweet as that is, we should probably get this show on the road before I make a show of my own." Erin joked rubbing her pregnant belly.
Nadia smiled and placed her hand over Erin's atop her unborn child "Hey, if my niece wants to come she's going to come regardless of the fact it's my wedding day. She's a Lindsay-Halstead kid, she's stubborn as all hell and set in her ways just like her damn parents." She giggled.
"True, but either way we should get a move on. Your ceremony starts in two minutes."
"Erin wait..." Nadia said softly, her voice concerning Erin.
"What's wrong?" She said panicked "Is this not what you want? Because if it's not we can jump out the window right now and I'll take you wherever you want. I mean it might be a bit difficult for me to get out a second-floor window, but -"
"Erin!" Nadia cut in with a laugh "I'm not having second thoughts. I've never doubted marrying Greg, not for one moment."
Erin scrunched her nose "it always sounds weird when you call him Greg. I'm so used to his name being Mouse...Wait if that's not what you want to talk about then what's wrong?"
"Nothing. I just ... thank you." Nadia replied.
Erin frowned "for what?"
"You saved my life. And I don't just mean Yates. If the team hadn't arrested me that day, if you hadn't have fought so hard for me, encouraged me to believe in myself and help me get into rehab ... I wouldn't be alive. So thank you, for being my friend, and my sister. For giving me this life."
Tears pricked Erin's eyes " I just showed you the path Nadia. Everything that you've done since, that's all you babe. You fought, your persisted, and I'm so proud of Ye woman you've become today."
The two hugged, as best they could with Erin's pregnant belly in between them, both wishing the moment could last forever.
"Hey!" Jay said bursting through the door "you're three minutes late and Mouse is freaking the fuck out. Everything okay?"
Erin pulled away quickly and grabbed Nadia's hand pulling her towards the door "shit, we've gotta go!"
Nadia grabbed her bouquet as Erin dragged her along, and quickly got into position behind the bridal party. Erin looked behind and winked at her mouthing a 'see you out there' before she and Jay walked down the aisle.
"Okay, Maid of Honor and Best Man are through. You ready?" Kelly, the wedding planner, asked.
Nadia looked to her right, a sad smile on her lips. It was moments like these she missed her father. It had been a year and a half since his passing and while she had coped with his loss, there were always times when she missed his presence.
"Hey, you need some help back here?" Voight asked looping his arm through Nadia's.
"What are you doing?" She asked surprised.
"I was hoping you would let me walk you down." Voight said "I know your father was supposed to, and if he was here I know he would. But I hope he would be okay with me filling his shoes, because I've grown to think of you as another daughter over these years. And I would be very proud to give you away as well."
Nadia felt herself tear up at Hank's gesture "I would be honoured if you'd walk me Hank."
Hank smiled and looped his arm through Nadia's and began walking her.
"Alright, everyone settle down please!" Jay said through the microphone as he and Erin stood in the centre of the dance floor.
The guests all turned to face the two detectives as everyone quieted down.
"It gives me great honour to introduce, for the first time anywhere, Mr and Mrs Greg Gerwitz!"
Everyone cheered and hollered as Nadia and Mouse walked through the entrance and onto the dance floor hand in hand, Mouse spinning Nadia around as they reached Erin and Jay.
"And now for their first dance, to the song they actually first danced to ever." Erin said as Gavin DeGraw's 'More than Anyone' started to play through the speakers.
Nadia smiled as she looped her arms over Mouse's shoulders entwining her hands behind his neck, Mouse wrapping his arms around her waist as they both swayed gently to the music.
"Do you remember the first time we danced to this song?" Nadia asked softly.
"Like it was yesterday." Greg smiled
They swayed together on the make-shift dancefloor of Molly's bar, having just celebrated their six-month anniversary. At first, Mouse had been confused by the idea of a six-month anniversary celebration. But after everything Nadia had been through, she wanted to celebrate all the little moments in life, and Mouse had immediately jumped on board with the idea.
Nadia smiled into the crook of his neck. It had been a perfect night; Mouse had taken her to dinner at her favourite restaurant, followed by a walk by the water and finishing off with a round of celebratory drinks with their work family.
"You ready to go home?" Mouse asked. It was approaching 1 am, and they had been dancing like this for a good 45 minutes now.
Nadia shook her head "I want to stay like this forever."
"And now we're here." He whispered "Mr and Mrs Gerwitz. Forever"
Nadia scrunched her nose at his words "Are we sure we're sticking with Gerwitz? Greg Decotis sounds so much better."
Mouse shook his head "Hey, you had your chance to say something before the wedding. You're stuck with me and my funny last name for life now."
Nadia leaned up and placed a peck on his lips "That's not too bad a deal to be stuck with." She giggled as Mouse brightly smiled.
"I love you, my beautiful amazing wife." He said.
Nadia smiled brightly, the same smile she had every time he said those words. "I love you too, husband." She spoke soft connecting her lips with his once more.
"You two seriously need to get a room." They both pull apart unexpectedly at the sounds of Jay's voice, he and Erin dancing beside the couple.
Nadia poked her tongue out at her friends "You're just jealous you're not getting any with preggers over there."
"Hey!" Erin exclaimed reaching over to slap Nadia's arm "I'm never going to girls' night again."
Everyone was now seated at their tables, having just finished the final course of dinner and enjoying casual conversation with those that were seated beside them.
The sound of a class clinking brought everyone's focus to the dancefloor where Erin and Jay stood once more.
"Good evening everyone, we hope you're all enjoying the night so far." Erin said smiling at the guests "And now, it's time for everyone's favourite part of the night, the speeches!"
Their guests all chuckled as Erin handed her husband the microphone and stood to the side.
"So, I've known Mouse – Greg." He corrected looking over at Nadia "For a long time. He's been by my side through some of the worst times in my life. I can honestly say that without him, I wouldn't be the man I am today. He saved my life."
Nadia heard a soft sniffle come from beside her and lay her head on her husband's shoulder, giving his arm a tight squeeze.
"Mouse, I'm so proud of you. You've accomplished so much since I first met you, that scrawny little tech-nerd that kept stealing the cookies from my mother's care packages." The guests all laughed at the memory Jay recalled "You're more than just my friend Mouse, you're my brother. And Nadia, I've loved watching you grow and become the strong, beautiful woman you are now. There are no two people who deserve a happily ever after more than you two. I'm so happy you found each other. I love you both and I hope your marriage is as full of love and laughter, and endless bliss as mine has been. Congratulations."
The guests all clapped, and Mouse locked eyes with Jay, the two exchanging their own unspoken words of gratitude and love to one another. Jay passed the microphone over to Erin, who was trying to keep her tears at bay after hearing her husband's speech, knowing that if her waterworks started, they wouldn't stop for the rest of the night.
"So, I'm not really the best at speeches." Erin said nervously "But I am however, really good at storytelling."
Nadia groaned and Mouse laughed at their friends words, knowing the outcome could be deadly "Now Nads, don't worry. There will be no embarrassing stories about your drunken night getting Mouse's name tattooed above your ass-"
"ERIN!" She shrieked as the guests all laughed, Nadia turned to glare at her husband who was laughing the hardest out of everyone.
Erin smiled cheekily "No, this story is much better. You see, Jay and I made a bet a long time ago, about 3 years ago back when Nadia Decotis had her first date with one Greg Gerwitz." Erin explained "See, Jay and I both knew from that moment that Nadia was in love, this was the one that would consume and complete her."
…
"Goodnight" he smiled.
Nadia took a deep breath and smiled "Night" she whispered before walking into her apartment and closing the door behind her. She leaned against the door, sliding to the floor. She didn't want him to go. She had never felt like this before, she had never wanted to be with someone as much as she had wanted to be with him.
"Oh boy am I in trouble" she whispered
"And why would that be?" Erin said, surprising Nadia by her presence.
Jay stood behind her, smirking at the obviously flustered young girl.
"How much of that did you hear?" Nadia asked, blushing already knowing the answer. Jay chuckled as he dramatically grabbed Erin's arm
"Well, I was hoping to give you a goodnight kiss if that's ok" he spoke mimicking Mouse's voice. Erin let out a small giggle as she slapped his chest.
"Leave her be Halstead" she pretended to scold him, though the smile was still evident on her face.
Nadia stood up and walked into her room
"I'm going to bed before you two can tease me further" she grumbled as she closed her door.
Jay just chuckled as she walked into her room "You know you love us kid"
"It's debatable!" He heard her yell through the door.
Erin chuckled at the two "She really is falling for him" she spoke as she wrapped her arms around her fiancée's waist and leaned her head against his chest. She let out a yawn as Jay spoke
"Mouse is a good guy" He whispered kissing the top of her head
Erin nodded in agreement "Come on, let's go to bed" She whispered pulling away from him and walking towards the room.
Jay smiled as he walked after her. He couldn't believe how lucky he was. To have both Erin and Nadia in his lives, and to be able to call them both his family. He still couldn't believe how close they had come to losing Nadia forever.
"God I love our little family" He whispered to himself as he followed Erin into their bedroom.
…
Erin sat on their bed as she finishing massaging the moisturizer onto her legs as Jay came out of the bathroom and got into bed as well. He extended his arm out and Erin cuddled into his side and he wrapped his arm around her shoulder, tracing his fingers up and down the length of her arm as she listened to the soft beating of his heart from where her head lay on his chest.
"I think Nadia had a good time tonight." Erin whispered suddenly.
"I'd say so." Jay agreed, wondering where Erin was taking the conversation.
"She's going to marry that boy." She said suddenly and Jay looked down at her shocked.
"What? You can tell that from their first date?" Jay asked incredulously.
Erin frowned at him "You didn't get that feeling with me?"
"Of course I did." Jay replied "But we'd been partners for a long time before we started dating. I knew exactly who you were."
"I'm telling you Jay, they're getting married. Watch, a year from now they'll be headed down the alter."
Jay laughed softly "I'm not saying I agree with you, but if they do it'll be more like two or three years down the track. Mouse is an over-thinker. It'll take him six months just to work up the courage to ask her father's permission, and another eight before he can manage to ask her the damn question."
Erin lifted her head off his chest, sticking her hand out in front of him "I bet you 5 days driving privileges at work that they get married in a year."
Jay's hand reached out to shake hers "What have I got to lose?" he chuckled "You're on Lindsay."
…
"And though I may not have gotten the timeline right, I would like to say for the record that I, Erin Lindsay, predicted the future." She said with a chuckle.
Nadia shook her head at her friend's memory "But in all seriousness, Nadia is my best friend. And she's my family. And after everything we've been through together, I'm so happy she found someone as wonderful as Mouse. To think that we almost lost her …" Erin pauses for a moment, and Jay steps forward to wrap his arm around her as she begins to cry.
"Sorry, damn hormones." She says trying to brush off the sudden serious mood "Anyways, I'm so grateful to have you in my life Nadia, and I'm so happy that you get to be here, alive, to see it all. To live your life with Greg, and be an amazing police officer and godmother to my little one. I love you so much, thank you for everything you've done for me. No one deserves this life more than you."
Nadia got up from the bridal table and rushed over to an almost hysterical Erin, wrapping her pregnant friend in her arms as best she could and whispering 'thank you' to her as she held her tight.
January, 2021
"Guys come on! We're going to be late!" Nadia yelled from the bottom of the stairs.
She and Mouse had moved out of their shared apartment with Erin and Jay six months after their wedding. As a wedding gift, the Intelligence unit had given them 50% of the down payment on a house that the newlyweds had been looking at, but knew was out of their price range. Within the first four months of their marriage they had been able to save, and loan, the rest of the funds and move into their new home.
"I'm here mama!" Three-year-old Jackson yelled as he raced down the stairs.
Jackson had been their biggest surprise of all. Two years ago, Nadia and her fellow Narcotics teammates had taken down a major drug cartel operating through New York and Chicago. One-year-old Jackson had been found in the basement of the building they raided, and after the shootout rendered his drug-dealer father deceased and finding out his mother had overdosed six months before, Nadia had brought him home that night.
It was supposed to be a month-long thing, while Family services found relatives or a foster home to take the young boy and the Narcotics team wrapped up the case and ensured the young boy would be safe. But Mouse and Nadia fell in love with the little man over that duration, and decided to foster him themselves. Six months later, on the eve of his fourth birthday they decided to take the necessary steps to adopt Jackson, wanting to give him a forever home with them.
"Greg!" Nadia yelled again "We're supposed to be there in 10 minutes!"
"Keep your head on woman, I'm coming." Mouse chuckled as he came down the stairs "Sorry babe, I couldn't find my laptop. Seems someone hid it under their bed again."
Jackson giggled as his father tickled his ribs "Sorry daddy."
Nadia smiled at the sweet moment between her husband and son, take a second to cherish the moment before going straight back into busy mode.
"Okay we gotta go, we're going to be late otherwise!" Nadia said quickly grabbing Jackson's school bag along with her gun and badge from the safe while Mouse picked up Jackson and got him into the car.
"Alright baby, you ready to go?" Nadia asked as she knelt down and placed Jackson's backpack on his shoulders.
"Yeah mama let's go!" Jackson cheered pulling on his mother's hand
"You remember what your dad and I told you? You be polite to your teachers and the other kids, and don't go home with anyone. Either daddy or I will pick you up, or you aunt and uncle. Don't let anyone else take you out of the school at pick up time okay? Not even if they give you candy or-"
"Babe." Mouse said softly, hearing the panic rise in Nadia's voice "he's going to be okay. We went through this all with the teacher as well. He knows, the school knows. It's going to be okay."
"Daddy can we go yet?" Jackson groaned.
"We got to wait for Maddie bud, unless you want to leave her behind?" Mouse asked.
Jackson's eyes widened "No we can stay daddy! We can't leave Maddie!"
"We can't?" Mouse said, feigning confusion.
"Of course not Daddy, she's my best friend. You can't leave your best friend behind. Duh!" He said to his dad.
"Oh, okay. Thanks for letting me know bud." Mouse said with a chuckle.
"Jackson, didn't we agree your daddy wasn't allowed to dress you anymore." The family of three turned their heads to see Erin standing behind them, hands on her hips in disapproval at Mouse and Jackson's matching outfits.
"We were running behind schedule today." Nadia said wiping her eyes and standing up to hug her friend, careful not to squash the two month old baby curled up against Erin's chest.
"You doing okay?" Erin asked concerned.
Nadia nodded her head. There were rare moments when the trauma from her experience with Yates would spring to her mind, and with Jackson starting preschool, the threat of 'stranger danger' had cause Nadia to have serious anxiety issues.
She had still been seeing her trauma therapist when necessary, and she had worked past her fear of Jackson starting school, but she would be lying if she said there wasn't still a small part of her that feared what could happen to her baby boy.
"Aunt Erin!" Jackson's voice broke her from her thoughts "Where's Maddie? We're supposed to go inside together!" Jackson exclaimed.
"She's coming buddy, we had a bit of a shoelace emergency in the car. Uncle Jay's bringing her."
As if on cue, four year old Maddie Halstead came running through the gates of Chicago North Preschool, her dad rushing in after her.
"Jackie!" Maddie yelled in excitement as she hugged her best friend.
"They're too cute," Erin whispered to Nadia as they watched the two children exchange conversation animatedly.
"I'm glad Maddie and Jack are starting together, it makes me feel better knowing he'll have someone with him."
"He's going to be fine Nads." Erin said squeezing her friend's hand.
"He's going to be fine." She repeated to herself, looking up at her husband for reassurance. Mouse smiled softly and leaned down to kiss her forehand, instantly relaxing her.
She turned back to her son and goddaughter and smiled brightly "alright, let's get you two inside! Preschool waits for no one!"
"You doing okay baby?" Mouse asked as he entered the break room.
Nadia had moved back to Intelligence a few months after she and Mouse adopted Jackson, needing more flexible work hours and an understanding team. She loved working in Narcotics, but her team were all young guys who didn't enjoy having a kid running around their offices when Nadia and Mouse couldn't find a sitter.
When Hank and Olinsky retired, leaving Antonio in charge of Intelligence, he had offered Nadia a position in the unit to work under Antonio's leadership, and be able to have a more child-friendly environment surrounded by supportive friends and family. She had instantly jumped at the opportunity to work with her family again.
Nadia nodded and gave a small smile as she stirred her coffee "Im not used to this. Normally when we go to work I know Jack's safe with Maddie and Hank's watching them. This is different."
"I know." Mouse nodded understandingly "But it'll get better with time. This will be good, for all three of us."
"You're right." Nadia said kissing her husband's cheek.
"I know I am." Mouse replied cockily "what would you do without me?"
"I hope I don't ever have to find out." Nadia said seriously "I don't know what I would do without you Mouse. Sometimes, I think about what could've been and, I just can't imagine not having this life with you. I can't imagine that I was so close to losing our future together …"
"Hey, don't talk like that." Mouse said softly reaching up to wipe her tears "You don't ever have to worry about losing me,our family, or our future together. Never."
"I know. I'm sorry, it's the damn hormones." Nadia chuckled softly and Mouse reached his hand down to lay on her still flat stomach.
They had found out a few weeks before that they would be welcoming another child into their family, but were waiting a little longer before telling their colleagues.
"I love you Greg Gerwitz. I love our life, so damn much." Nadia mumbled against his shoulder as he held her tightly.
"I love you too Nadia Gerwitz. Always."
Nadia stood in her husband's arms, relishing the moment before they would inevitably be disturbed. She couldn't believe this was her life, after everything she had done. All the times she had hurt other people, hurt herself. All the times she had given up.
She was grateful she had found this family to help pull her out of it all, a woman who saw the good inside of her, who saw someone worth saving.
She felt so fortunate to find a man who loved her as much as Greg did. To have a beautiful son, and another baby on their way.
Life was perfect. And she would never let herself forget just how lucky she was that she was alive to see it all.
A/N: okay, so the ending feels a little bit cheesy haha but I wanted to really emphasise how much Nadia would've cherished her life with Greg and the unit.
Please leave a review and let me know what you think, if anyone is still reading this lol
I can't believe it's been three years since I posted the previous chapter!? If anyone is still out there reading this, I am SO SORRY for making you wait so long!
Anyways, I hope you enjoyed the final chapter of 'If Only'!
Maddie :)