Rated: M

Disclaimer: I don't own them, I just like writing about them

Dead Or Alive

by Danigirl

Chapter Six

I'm going out in a blaze of glory, Take me now but know the truth
I'm going out in a blaze of glory
Lord I never drew first
But I drew first blood
I'm no one's son
Call me young gun

Bon Jovi- Blaze of Glory

"I'm not that much of a hypocrite."

The look on his mother's face after he uttered those words at breakfast this morning broke his heart, but it was the truth. There was no way he was going to step into a church this Sunday morning with so many sins on his soul. He was a man who made his living with his gun. He had killed more men than bore thinking on. He had turned his back on his family, his son, and hadn't looked back.

"All the more reason," she had murmured in that loving voice of hers. She wouldn't push, or try to force him into making a step he wasn't ready for, but all the same, those words made him think. Wyatt deserved a father worthy of the fragile trust Jason saw brimming in eyes so much like his own. His son didn't quite know how to act around him yet, circled him much like a wary colt, trying to decide if his father was a threat.

Perhaps it would have gone a long way toward reassuring Wyatt if he had opened that trunk and slipped into Jason Morgan's old life and pretended for the morning he was just a normal man, exactly like all the other fathers here in Redemption.

Only it wouldn't stop the whispers, or the pointed looks in his direction. That's all it would ever be, a pretense. For that Jason Morgan had died the moment he strapped on a gun with the intention of taking a life. Somehow, he would have to find a way around to being some kind of father to Wyatt, but he wouldn't start their relationship off with hypocrisy.

Maybe he didn't deserve forgiveness for the man he had become. How could he ask for forgiveness, when he didn't know if he could forgive himself? All he could do now was make sure his life didn't hurt the people who loved him.

So he watched his family ride away in the buckboard with Luke at the reigns after a promise he would join them at Beth's later on for supper. Then he went back in the house for the guns he had left off for the first time in longer than he could remember. He wanted to head into town, take a look around and see if he could get a lead on Matos.

The night of his nightmare, after he had finally calmed enough to think, he began to plan. The only way to get his life back and get that damned bounty off his head was to find Matos and make him confess. It wasn't going to be easy. The man had the money to buy off officials, and men for protection and Jason was just one man. Even his reputation wasn't enough to take on a force of gunmen with even fewer morals than he.

His remaining option was to draw Matos out. The man would be thirsty for revenge, considering Jason had killed three of his brothers so a few well placed rumors could bring Matos close enough to Redemption so that Jason could deal with him. Getting his family involved, despite Luke's words, was a last resort. Keeping Matos as far away from Rose Creek and his family was best. A repeat of the slaughter on the Diamond C would be the final nail in his coffin. There would be no turning back if something happened to his family.

The one drawback of his plan, if Matos learned of his location it would be a matter of time before the law figured it out as well. Last thing he needed was some Ranger riding in before he had the chance to force a confession out of Matos. The timing had to be perfect. There was just one problem with that line of thinking. When had his timing ever been perfect?

Riding into town alone gave him plenty of time to think. One thing that whispered through his head was Wyatt's mother, Cassie. His mother told him that she was seamstress in town. A sweet little blonde who had been happy to carry Wyatt, wanted to be a mother. When she died, she had made his mother promise that she would keep Wyatt away from her family. Why had she been so afraid of her family?

He had been so wrapped up in his pain, that he couldn't even draw an image of the mother of his son to mind. Those days were a blur of whiskey, guilt and rage. How had he even met her? How had he even been coherent enough to have sex with her? And what the hell was he supposed to tell his son? That his father had a drunken one night with his mother rolled out of her bed and proceeded to forget all about her?

Before he could come up with an answer, Kid passed the Marshall's office just as a familiar face was being released on the streets of Redemption. "Son of a bitch," he murmured, pulling up on the reins so he could watch unseen.

Lucky shoved the man off the porch with a sneer making him stumble a few steps before he glared back over his shoulder. To make matters worse, Lucky tossed his gun belt into the dirt, empty of guns and walked back into the building slamming the door shut. Jason knew if it had been dark, and a few less witnesses, Marshall Spencer would have been a dead man.

Jason slid out of the saddle, looping the reins around a hitching post and slowly made his way across the street. He watched the dark haired man bend to pick up his belt and drape it over his shoulder, then push his hat forward on his head. Tall, with a rangy body draped in all black, Jason knew the man was aware of his presence, simply biding his time. "State your business," the husky voice warned before slowly turning around. A smirk lifted the side of his mouth briefly. "Morgan."

"Drake."

Patrick Drake wasn't a man who tolerated much. He had a quick temper, an eye for beauty and a nasty disposition. Why women loved the man so much, Jason could never figure out. Maybe it was his Arapaho heritage that hinted at the forbidden. Or the lazy charm that Jason had seen at work on a few occasions. He did know why Drake was feared. The man's reputation was almost as bad as his own. Drake was pretty decent with a gun, smart as hell, but did his best work up close and personal.

Put a knife in Drake's hands and the man cut with a lethal precision.

They weren't friends, nor were they enemies either, which is why Jason gave the man a clear view of his hands before halting and leaning back on the balls of his feet. "What brings you to Redemption?"

"Family," he answered simply. "Heard you were in Texas," he paused squinting over at him, "Heard you had a bounty on your head as well."

"You hear a lot."

"Pays to stay informed."

"You planning to picking up that bounty?"

Drake looked at him for a long moment, taking his measure, then released a long slow breath and crossing his arms over his chest. "The way I figure, a man who went after the Matos brothers has enough to deal with."

Jason nodded once. Drake knew that he was set up. "What I'd like to know, is how Javier got tight with the Rangers?"

"Buy me a drink and maybe I can help you out with that." The words made Jason frown; it was also common knowledge that Drake didn't touch alcohol. Drake chuckled and freed that infamous smile that drew the ladies, "Hell Morgan, I mean coffee. A man could use a cup after a night behind bars."

Jason rolled his eyes at the thought of his step brother. Shit, he had a Marshall for family. If he wasn't careful his little brother would be putting him in a cell. "What did Marshall Spencer take you in for?"

"Smiling at his girlfriend," Drake inclined his head toward the saloon, "Seems he didn't like that beautiful Miss Samantha smiled back."

"Petite, brown hair, dark eyes?"

"Body that makes a man take notice," Drake finished, "Yeah that's Samantha. You met her?"

"Couple of days ago," he admitted. The image of the woman swam through his head along with the nagging feeling that he had met her somewhere before. Despite her fervent refusal, Jason knew that he had seen her face before. Without the opportunity to think on it more, he had pushed it out of his mind, but now that it was back, he knew that he wouldn't be satisfied until he figured it out.

Last thing he needed was a woman on his mind, but there it was.

"Well, from what I hear, Miss Samantha turned down the Marshall's marriage proposal and he's been making an ass of himself ever since. A man takes a look at her and he either ends up spending a night in jail or picking up his teeth." Drake explained.

Jason looked at the man's empty gun belt, noted the knives Drake usually carried missing and lifted a brow, "You chose option one I see," considering that Drake could have slit Spencer's throat and made time with this woman all in the same night.

"I'd hate to upset a lady," he smiled, but this time it didn't reach his eyes and Jason could see that layer of cold that was hidden behind his polite words. "Now about that coffee? Times' a wasting."

Jason shook his head, but said nothing as he followed Drake into the saloon. It was empty, except for a few people in the back. The place was more than he had been expecting. Nice actually, not the usual watering hole. There was an empty stage next to the bar, with a burgundy curtain pulled, which implied the Evening Star had nightly entertainment. The scent of food cooking wafted through the air, reminding Jason that it had been hours since breakfast.

They took seats at the bar, removing their hats and setting them on the bar. Drake caught the eye of a dark haired man who was on his way to the back. He nodded once in acknowledgement before going through the flapping doors.

"So," Drake began, "Matos."

"You hear anything about him?" He went straight to the point, "Preferably a location."

"I hear he has a Ranger in his pocket," Drake answered softly, "Named Lansing."

"Lansing," the name sounded familiar, "You mean Lansing who took down the Sorrel gang?" Everyone had wondered about that. Sorrel was a vicious son of a bitch who took pleasure in robbing payroll coaches and killing everyone who rode along. It wasn't enough just killing the men, what made Sorrel nasty was the way he staked out the bodies and left them for the animals, so by the time another stage came along, there was barely anything left to identify.

Lansing had become a hero for killing Sorrel and his hired gun Roscoe. Only now if what Drake was saying was true, it seemed Lansing had a hand in bringing down Sorrel. Matos' hand.

"That's the man," Drake confirmed, "So it's going to be next to impossible to bring down Matos. Frankly, I'm surprised you took out the other three. It was no secret that Matos wanted the Diamond C because he had an eye on Corinthos' wife. Every town he walked in he talked about his "wife to be" Lily." Drake drew in a deep breath, "The man is crazy Morgan, and you killing his brothers, well, let me just say I'm glad I'm not walking around with your name."

So Matos was out to kill him and using the Rangers to find him. If Lansing found him, Jason knew he wouldn't make it to a cell, let alone a trial. Matos would find some way to kill him long before that.

The dark haired man emerged from the back, walking behind the bar carrying a carafe of coffee. "Welcome to the Evening Star, what can I get you?" he asked when he stood before them.

"Coffee's fine," Jason gestured to the pot and watched as the man brought two cups and set them before them and began to pour.

"Nice place McCall," Drake accepted his cup with a mild thank you, "I don't think I had a chance to tell you that last night."

The man grunted with amusement, "Well, you were too busy making eyes at my sister and being arrested by Lucky, so I can understand you were a bit preoccupied."

"Jason, this is Zander McCall, proprietor of this fine establishment. Zander, Jason Morgan." Drake introduced, and Jason eyed him warily before nodding a greeting. Drake never did anything without a reason, so Jason didn't question the man's actions. If he wanted this Zander McCall to know his identity, there was just cause.

McCall gave his own brief nod of acknowledgement before speaking again, "We don't serve drinks until after sundown, but we have an open kitchen if you want something."

"I'll take some of whatever that is I smell," Drake spoke up immediately and Jason could practically hear the man's stomach growling. Seemed the law didn't feed the prisoners here in Redemption. If he wasn't headed to Ella's, he might have eaten as well. The scent of cooking food coming from the back was definitely not usual for regular saloons.

With a nod, he went to get Drake's meal leaving them alone again. "How long you in town for?"

Drake lifted his cup and took a drink, looking at him quietly over the rim, "Depends."

"Seems I'm going to need a little help. I could use an extra set of eyes seeing as I can't exactly get around much." Jason took a sip of his own coffee, letting the words resonate. The extra gun was a given. "You interested?"

"Playing fast and loose with death," Drake smirked, "As if I have anything else to do." He set the cup down on the bar and brushed his hand over his dark hair, then looked him over again. "Gunning for Matos and Lansing isn't going to be easy."

"He killed her," Jason murmured softly, setting his own cup down and turning to look at the bottles that lined the wall. "Lily. She was innocent. Her and that new baby Adella. Her son Michael. Matos slaughtered them, just like she was some animal."

He felt Drake stiffen beside him and knew he understood. Men like them had very few morals. Killing women and children was a line neither of them would ever cross. That's why he felt he could trust Drake, as much as he trusted anyone. "I'll make it worth your while."

"Just replace my guns and my knives, and we'll talk about the rest later," Drake answered, his voice just as cold as the sensations rushing through him. The image of that white gown rustling in the breeze never far from his mind. "I met Lily Corinthos once," Drake said softly, "I was passing through Texas on my way down to Mexico. She was kind to me when she had no reason to be."

Most men who lived their life met Lily Corinthos at some point. Sonny Corinthos had been a famous gun before he stepped away and married Lily. Determined to put the life behind him, he turned to running cattle but his reputation had been hard to live down.

The Diamond C was considered neutral territory and more than one gunslinger had bedded down in the Corinthos' bunkhouse and taken a meal with the family. Lily was a woman to be admired. She didn't judge them, didn't condemn, and always had a kind word despite the fact they were men who killed for a living.

Jason was just surprised there weren't more than the law after him. Yet it seemed understood Matos had set him up. No one was willing to take on the law and Javier Matos.

"I heard Ruiz got out a couple of months ago. Last I heard he was making his way back to Mexico but if he's passed through Texas he'll know what happened to Lily." Drake shrugged. "I know he'd be interested in knowing who killed his sister."

Manny Ruiz was a real threat. If he was stupid, someone would have killed him a long time ago. Ruiz was smart, methodical and that's what made him dangerous. Jason didn't worry that Ruiz would believe he killed Lily, he would work through his contacts until he discovered Matos' hand but his presence could make matters a whole lot worse.

They had met at the Diamond C before Ruiz was captured for killing a Marshall in Colorado. Ruiz wasn't a man Jason wanted to depend on, because he would be just as likely to shoot you as to shake your hand but beggars couldn't be choosers. "I need word to get to Ruiz," Jason said slowly, it was better to take a chance than to wait until the man made his presence known. He would accept all the help coming his way if it would bring down Matos.

Drake nodded, "I need to make a trip the mountains but afterwards I'll see what I can do."

Drake did say he was here to see family. Ruiz could wait, or the man would show up on his doorstep. Either way, Jason knew he would be speaking with the man soon. "You know where Rose Creek is?"

"Everyone knows the Spencer spread," Drake told him, "I'll stop in, in a couple of days to let you know when I'm heading out."

Jason rose, draining the coffee before slipping his hat back on. Digging in his pocket, he placed a small black bag next to his cup. Inside was close to a hundred dollars in both paper and gold. "That should replace your guns. Enjoy your meal."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"I'm sorry Zander couldn't join us," Beth's warm voice conveyed her regret as they walked through the large house toward the back where voices could be heard. Dusty held Kristina's hand and walked ahead of her through the beautiful rooms and occasionally looked over her shoulder with a look that was a combination of awe and 'what the hell are we doing here.'

This wasn't her or Dusty's first visit to the Alcazar home, but seeing just how wealthy Beth was always came with some sense of amazement. Back in New Orleans, families with this kind of money were never as kind as Beth and Lorenzo. The class distinction always played the most prominent factor in their society. When her family lost all of their money, they had quickly been ostracized. Beth and Lorenzo treated everyone of Redemption with the same respect whether they were wealthy or poor.

After services this afternoon, Beth had stopped them to invite them over for supper. A sort of welcome home gathering for her brother. Sam tried to refuse but Beth had grabbed her hands with a pleading expression, "There's a woman here from Boston, claiming she's Wyatt's aunt. She introduced herself to my parents, making veiled threats about wanting to take Wyatt back East with her. She heard that Jason was back and was demanding to talk with him. He's not going to just let her take Wyatt, no matter how much money or connections she thinks she has. I figure if there are guests she won't push Jason."

"Beth!"

The pregnant woman at least had the grace to look embarrassed, "I know, but I had to find someway to contain the situation. If you're there, Miss Boston will surely be on her best behavior," she drawled slowly, "That's not the worst of it."

"It can't get any worse than using me as a buffer," Sam shot back.

"Well," Beth wrinkled her nose, "Lucky kind of overheard us."

"Lucky!"

"I couldn't very well not invite him Sam, he is family after all," she gave her a pleading look, "After what happened between him and Jason the other day, it would have hurt his feelings if I hadn't asked him to come. You saw how he reacted to Jason. I know Lucky won't cause a scene if you're there. He'll be too busy trying to impress you."

"And that's what you're counting on, you scheming shrew," Sam rolled her eyes, barely holding back a burst of laughter.

"Have mercy on the pregnant woman," Beth smiled sincerely, "Besides, you get to meet Jason and who knows," she trailed off with a knowing look in her eyes.

"No you aren't matchmaking. I am not interested, Beth. And throwing me after your brother isn't exactly the way to keep Lucky calm." Sam shook her head not even bothering to hide her smile. Beth could be maddening, but she was also a good friend. "That baby you're carrying isn't going to stay in there much longer. How are you going to manipulate people then?"

"Me? Manipulate?" Her blue eyes widened with mock horror, "I'd never do that. Call it quietly influence."

"Coercion," Sam snorted.

"Persuasion," Beth smiled and looped their arms together. "Besides, Kristina can play with Cameron and Diego. My mother can convince Dusty to join the committee and you can keep me from taking Miss Boston out back, tying her to a horse and slapping it on the ass so that it can drag the annoying woman away."

"Yeah, I'd hate for your brother to have to arrest you," Sam gave in, knowing that her resistance was futile. Beth was just sneaky enough to actually do what she had just threatened. "Then Lorenzo would be forced to watch his wife give birth in prison."

As they entered the backyard, Sam's eyes were immediately drawn to the blonde woman seated with both Spencer men and Lorenzo. Holding court. It was the only description fitting of the picture she made, dressed in elegant violet, more suited for a drawing room than a backyard supper. Luke's expression was one of mild annoyance, and Lorenzo's was one step behind, while Lucky seemed to be in awe of her golden radiance.

"Sam, Dusty," Maggie May's voice came from her left, and Sam turned to see the beautiful woman setting a bowl onto the large table. "It's good to see you," a welcoming smile curved her lips, but even Sam could see the tension at the edges of it. She lifted a tiny tea cake from a platter and crossed over to them, kneeling down in front of Kristina. "And hello to you too sweetheart."

"Hi," Kristina smiled brightly, well acquainted with Maggie May's kind heart.

"Can she have a small treat?" Maggie May asked Dusty, and Kristina looked up with hopeful eyes. "I spoil all my grandchildren this way, so you'll have to forgive me."

"Pease, mama," Kristina asked softly and Dusty smiled indulgently.

"Just one, we don't want to ruin your appetite."

"Don't' worry about that," Maggie May gave up the small pink decorated cake, smiling when Kristina quickly took a bite, "She'll have plenty of appetite after all the running she'll do with Cam and Diego." She brushed a hand over Kristina's hair, "Would you like to see the horses?"

"Um-hmm," Kristina nodded over a mouthful of cake and looked again for permission.

"Don't worry, Wyatt and the hands will keep a good eye on her." Maggie May assured.

"Go ahead," Dusty released Kristina's hand, chuckling as she raced across the yard to Wyatt. The boy turned at the arms that grabbed his leg, a smile touching his mouth, then he lifted her onto his hip and walked toward the barn.

"You spoil her so," Dusty smiled softly, "Thank you. She doesn't have any grandparents."

The Spencers and Alcazars had always made them feel welcome. Maggie May's generous heart was Kristina's good fortune. "She's a beautiful little girl, I'm sure you're very proud."

"Mama," Beth called from the table where she was setting out two pies, "It's almost supper, has that idiot shown his face yet?"

"Elizabeth Alcazar," Maggie May reprimanded softly, "Your brother will get here. There is plenty of time." Then she smiled at them again, "Now, lets get you two something to drink," she led them over to the table, pouring her and Dusty both glasses of lemonade. "We decided to take advantage of the last warm days and have supper outside this evening."

"Thank you for having us," Sam smiled as she sipped the cool beverage, enjoying the nice tang on her tongue. "Zander sends his regrets."

"Of course," Maggie May instantly understood. Despite owning the Evening Star, Zander liked to be part of the running. The saloon wasn't very busy on Sundays until the evenings but Zander liked to be around just in case someone needed him.

"We should probably introduce them to Miss Matthews," Beth smirked as she lowered herself into a chair, placing her hands over her stomach rubbing slightly.

"Miss Matthews," Sam blinked as she finally put a name to the face, "She's staying at the Sundown."

Maggie May lifted a brow much the way her daughter did, "So you've met Courtney?" Judging from the tone of her voice, Maggie May wasn't at all impressed with Courtney Matthews of Boston.

"Briefly," Sam admitted, with a small smile of her own. The woman had been a nuisance for her entire stay. Making ridiculous demands of the staff, sending back meals uneaten and demanding replacements were just the lighter of her offenses. "She's," she paused, searching for a kind word.

"A pest," Beth offered with a quick laugh. Maggie May turned a look at her daughter but Beth was having none of it, "Am I lying Mama? From the moment she stepped inside our home she has done nothing but complain." Then she rolled her eyes, "I'm sorry, when she wasn't demanding attention from every man here," Beth drawled. "I know she's going to cast her eyes in Jason's direction. Money grubbing little ninny," she rolled her eyes. "I saw her eyeing that vase Lorenzo bought me from Spain."

"I don't think we'll have to worry about Jason, he can take care of himself." Maggie May chuckled.

"Of course I can." A masculine voice spoke up from behind her. The husky timbre sent shivers of awareness down her spine. "What's the problem?"

Sam turned, knowing who would be standing there, and wasn't surprised at the way her heart throbbed heavily against her chest. Today he wore all black, looking even more like the gunslinger of reputation. Yet this time was different, where before those blue eyes were icy cold, in that moment where he looked at his mother and sister they were warm, a startling blue, as blue as the October sky. In that moment he became even more breath taking than she thought possible.

Then his eyes flicked over to her, locked on her face and she saw something light within them. Her lips parted and she pulled a slow breath into her lungs, hoping he didn't see but judging from the way his gaze lingered on her mouth, she knew he had.

His easy gait drew him from the doorway to where they stood, his eyes never leaving her face. He didn't stop until he was several inches away, then his brows drew together in a frown. "I do know you."

It was the worst thing he could ever have said.