I just stood there for a few seconds, wondering what went wrong.
Nice job Harry. You just messed it all up. Everything was going right. She winked at you! You just had to ruin it by getting personal.
The cold, 'professional' voice she had suddenly switched to at the end kept ringing in my ears, as I dejectedly walked back to my designated console. I heard Tali and Abhishek whispering among themselves, but I didn't really care about anything at this point.
After almost 30 minutes of silence I heard Tali clear her throat.
"Did… anything happen between you and Shepard?" she asked, hesitantly.
"I'd rather not talk about it, Tali. I don't think the Commander would like it if I said anything…"
"Okay." she interrupted. "You're right. It's none of my business."
That phrase made me tense up. None of your business. Jane's voice echoed inside my head once again.
"Hmm.. I guess so." I replied, turning back towards my console.
"…it's just that…" Tali continued, "I was in the Med Bay last night. There was this problem with my suit that needed attention. As I was heading out.. I saw you and her, drinking…"
"Tali, it's not what it look-"
"Nononono!" she exclaimed, her awkwardness rising to adorable levels. "Don't tell me. I don't need to know the… details."
"I do." Abhishek interjected, with a smirk.
"And don't worry, I didn't see anything else. I went back in, and waited till I heard her doors close. And both of you were gone." She looked down nervously. "So.. yeah.."
Great. She thinks I went inside...
"Sleeping with the ship's captain? On your first night here? You must have one hell of a pick-up line, Douglas." Abhishek joked, incredibly amused by the whole situation.
"Seriously, guys, nothing happ-"
The door hissed open, as Lieutenant Adams walked in.
"Douglas, Joker needs your help. There's some problem with the power supply to the controls. We're in the middle of a mission, so it's urgent."
"I'll get on it right away, sir!" I said, as I started running towards the door.
The "problem" was easily fixed by flipping a few switches. Joker seemed embarrassed.
"Well, I could have done that." He said, smiling sheepishly. He paused for a second to check his readings. "Good, the controls have stabilised."
"JOKER!" the Commander's booming voice came through the speakers, and made the both of us jump. "Get the Normandy airborne and lock in on my signal! ASAP!"
What's happening out there?
"Got it, Commander." Joker instantly responded, while simultaneously operating the flight controls.
We sat in silence as we heard heavy things falling down through the Commander's radio.
"JOKER!" she shouted once again. Something's gone wrong…
"On my way, Commander!"
"Jeff, is she in trouble?" I heard myself ask.
"Nah, she just wants to come back and kiss you real bad." Joker deadpanned. "Of course she's in trouble! Now shut up while I try not to land on a volcano."
"We're landing on a bloody volcano?! Which planet is this?" I internally cursed myself for not keeping up with the ship's activities.
"Trying not to land on one. We're on Therum. And for the love of God, let me concentrate Harry!"
Therum. Oh yes, to find Dr. T'Soni. I remembered Tali telling me about her.
The next few minutes were intense, as I saw Joker expertly navigate the ship, and get everybody out just at the last second. I breathed a sigh of relief as I turned back to see the airlock open.
The krogan and the turian (I didn't know their names yet) walked in and immediately headed into the inside of the ship. Following them was the Commander, supporting Dr. T'Soni by the shoulders and limping into the bridge area. Even after such an intense mission, Jane seemed perfectly composed. And insanely pretty…
She looked back at us and smiled. "Nicely done, Joker. We're heading to the briefing room. Check if the Council is available." She looked at me and paused for a moment, looking conflicted.
That two second pause felt like two years, as those green eyes stared into mine. She really doesn't like breaking eye contact…
With a much softer voice she continued, "Harry, meet me in my quarters, after I'm done with this."
"Yes, Ma'am."
She walked away, still helping the Asari on her feet.
"Wait…" Joker spoke up. "Did she actually want to come back and kiss you real bad?"
"Shut up, Jeff!" I chuckled. I wish...
"I don't know Harry. I'm hearing some crazy stuff about you. Everyone down at the Crew Quarters were talking about how you got drunk and slept with Shepard last night. I don't know how on earth did you do that, but that's not the point. Thing is, you might piss off Kaidan with…. um.. Harry? "
I was staring back at Jeff, wide eyed. I apparently looked mortified enough to stop him mid-sentence.
This is bad. This is bad. This is bad. This is…
"Harry?!"
"It's bullshit Jeff!" I exclaimed. "I had a drink with her and then I went. back. to. my. bed." I punched Jeff's chair to emphasise each word, getting angrier after each punch. "Who's spreading lies about her? I swear to God I'll throw him out of the bloody airlock-"
"Hey, HEY! Calm down." Jeff grabbed my hand to stop me from punching the chair again.
My voice was shaking.
"She'll kill me when she hears, Jeff. She'll think I spread the rumours."
"She'll never know, Harry. No one is going to bring it up to her. I doubt anyone wants to intrude in her personal life."
I stood there in silence.
"…I'm going to go and wait outside her quarters." Before Joker could reply I had started walking away.
A million thoughts crowded my brain as I stood near the door, waiting for Jane.
Was it Tali? No, she's not that kind of person. I trust her.
Jeff said the rumour would "piss off Kaidan". What did he mean by-
Why has she called me? Has she heard already?
Is she… is she ever going to talk to me again?
"Hey, Harry."
Seeing her face calmed me down.
"Hey, Commander."
She smiled at me as she opened the locked door. "Come in."
Her room looked simple and minimal. A table with two chairs, a comfy bed – all the essentials. I loved it.
She motioned me towards one of the chairs, and then went to sit on the edge of the bed.
She's going all out to be 'informal'. That's… nice.
She took a moment to contemplate something and then started to speak.
"Harry, I wanted to apologise, once again. You were so nice to offer to listen, and I…" she faced the floor, "… I brushed you off in the rudest way possible."
"You were right, ma'am. It was none of my business. It's obviously something personal." I replied, slightly fidgeting on my chair.
She didn't reply, instead choosing to continue looking down at her feet. I couldn't even see her face.
Okay, Douglas. Say something funny. Lighten the mood.
"Ma'am, as much as I like looking at the top of your head... it's nothing compared to looking into your eyes. So, look up if you can, for my sake."
She looked up, and I couldn't believe what I saw. Commander Jane Shepard was blushing. Really hard.
"Trying to flirt with me, Douglas?" she asked, with a playful grin.
I could die right now.
"Uhh, I-"
"Nevermind." She smiled at me.
WHY DIDN'T I SAY "YES"?! WHAT DOES "UHH.." EVEN MEAN? "UHH…" ISN'T GONNA DO ANYTHING!
"Anyways, I was saying… I'd like to take you up on your offer. I need to talk to someone. Keeping everything to myself isn't helping. And I don't want my squad to see me like this. I want them to focus on the mission, not me. So, are you intere-"
"Yes!" I blurted out immediately. "I mean… Yes ma'am."
"We're not talking professionally right now, Harry. No need for 'ma'am.'"
"Oh, okay." Informal, then. "Yes, Jane, I'd love to talk with you."
She laughed. "I haven't heard anyone calling me that since… many, many years."
"That's a shame. It's a lovely name."
She looked away, smiling. I saw her cheeks go red again.
Being this cute shouldn't be humanly possible.
"We'll be reaching the Citadel in a few hours. Shore leave." she said, looking back at me. "Meet me in the upper wards, about an hour after we dock."
"I will be waiting."
"Okay, Harry, that'll be all for now. I have mission reports to write." She got up from the bed and headed towards her desk, seemingly content with our talk.
As I left the room (with the biggest grin on my face), I noticed a bunch of the crew staring at me. They quickly looked away when I noticed
Shit. The rumour.
I really need to talk to her about that. Maybe I will, on the Citadel.