Izaya held his demonic smile as he finished the recording. It faded once he pushed a button to end it. He stopped holding his phone out and away from him and stared at the still image of himself on the screen - the preview of his little message to his future self.

He looked like a devil. He certainly wouldn't put his trust in anyone who looked like that. "Is this how everyone sees me?" He wondered aloud, with a different kind of smile on his face now. He sighed and set the thought aside as he paced to his desk, leaning against it as he glanced at the object in his other hand.

Namie's phone didn't fit her. It was too cute for her. Maybe it was a gift from Seiji? He really couldn't be sure, but it wasn't really important. Maybe he was delaying himself just by thinking about it. That'd fit him to a T. He shook his head before typing out a message on his phone and hitting send. He let out a satisfied hum as Namie's phone buzzed in his hand and displayed a notification on the screen.

He stuffed the little phone in the pocket of his coat and turned around to face the black box on his desk. He opened it with the hidden switches on either side before shrugging out of his familiar garment, folding it up and depositing it in the chest. He'd miss that thing, for sure, but he didn't think he'd need it where he was going. It was more a part of his image than necessity.

He shut the box. It made a soft clicking noise as it locked once more. Then he strolled out into the middle of his office and looked around. It was arranged in just the way he liked it - everything sorted to his tastes. A real information broker's lair. When did it stop feeling like a home?

He pulled a little matchbook out of his pocket, grabbing one before striking it on the outside to light it. He stared at the flame as it danced merrily before his eyes. The answer was remarkably obvious to him then. "Because home is where you are."

"This is all your fault!" Namie snapped, just barely keeping herself from shouting.

"Namie…" Izaya said dejectedly as he saw the anger plainly on her features. What could he possibly say to that? Even with his memories starting to come back, he was still at a loss for words.

Namie turned away from him. She shook with a confusing mixture of anger, disbelief and hurt. "This was all just another of your stupid games."

Izaya shook his head frantically. "No, it wasn't. That video… it's all a fucking lie. I don't know why I recorded it."

And yet he'd recorded it anyways. They both understood that. Namie felt intensely alone, very suddenly. She couldn't trust Izaya after seeing that. "Did you know all along?" She asked him coldly.

"No, I didn't." He reached out and set a hand on her shoulder, trying to get her to turn around. "I forgot everything, too."

She slapped his hand away. "I'm not sure I can believe anything you say at this point. You put us through so much hell… for, for… for what?" She turned her head slightly to glance at him out of the corner of her eyes. It surprised Izaya how much that look stung him. "I can't even understand your motives."

He hated to admit it, but he was only just beginning to understand them himself. He remembered recording that video. He remembered feeling like he had to do this, the urgency, the need. But the meaning behind it, it was all so foggy to him. "I don't know why I did it." He said, though he knew that was a lie, too. "But I'm sorry."

She turned to glare at him. "It's a bit late for that, isn't it?" She said. "Why do you always have to drag other people into your schemes? Why bring me into this?"

Something was starting to click in Izaya's head. Something about what she'd said - and then it occurred to him. "You had a hand in this too." He said.

Namie scoffed at him. "How?" She demanded, giving him a flat look.

It was here, right? He thought to himself as he moved to Shinra's old desk. He reached under it until he felt something vaguely cylindrical. He tore the tape away from it until he could pull it away, then returned to Namie before presenting it to her. "With this."

Her expression turned confused as she accepted the object in question, taking it in her hands and staring at it. It was a translucent orange pill bottle, the kind often used for prescription drugs. Her eyes fluttered as she began to remember things, too.

Namie stared at the little white pills in her hand as she trudged through the foliage. The occasional fallen leaf or twig added a soft crunch to her automatic footsteps every now and again. Her thoughts were elsewhere.

Ikebukuro was far behind her, along with everything else that had made up her routine. The place she found herself in now was like another world, and it made her feel a little better to realize that there was more to the world than busy streets and towering skyscrapers. She didn't have to be trapped if she didn't want to be.

A voice from her side roused her from her thoughts. "Namie? You in there?" She blinked as she looked up to find Izaya peering at her with an amused look. "I'm sure those things are a miracle of modern medicine and all, but they can't be that engrossing."

And he was here. That was the part of all this that confused her the most. She knew that she probably understood him best out of anyone, and still he seemed totally unpredictable to her.

But she was happy that she wasn't alone. She would never tell him that, but it was the truth. This was a journey she didn't want to take by herself, and having him along - even if it was him - made it easier. "You know I'm not thinking about that." She said quietly.

She saw a little glimpse of worry in his features, and then it was gone. He was remarkably good at controlling the impressions he gave, she reflected as he carried on with his carefree facade. "Well, if you're not taking in the view at all, then you're just wasting the money I spent to get us here." He chided her. "And that is unforgivably rude."

Namie felt one corner of her lips twitch upwards in the tiniest beginnings of a smile. "If you're expecting politeness from me, Izaya, you must not know me very well." She replied. Despite that, however, she took the time to turn away from him and look around at the forest surrounding them.

It was massive, and green, and alive. She could hear a dozen different animals' songs if she listened closely enough. Sunlight streamed down to her through towering trees, and for one moment, she thought she could feel the united pulse of the living world around her.

Then it was over, and she was Namie Yagiri again. She looked back at Izaya over her shoulder once more with a wry smile. "There. Money well spent." She said.

Izaya rolled his eyes. "I'm sure it was positively transcendental." He said, moving to continue walking.

She caught his wrist with her free hand, and he stopped another step later, turning back to raise an eyebrow at her. "Izaya… I think I'm ready." She said.

She thought she saw a flicker of fear in his eyes. "Are you sure?" He asked.

She took a deep breath before nodding. "I am."

Izaya pulled his hand away and closed his eyes for a few seconds. When he opened them again, the fear was gone. He put on his usual grin as he replied, "Then let's go find a good place to, well… wake up." He said.

Both of them blinked as they tried to process the things they were remembering. Namie winced as she looked away from the bottle. "I'm getting a headache." She said tiredly.

"So am I." Izaya admitted.

Namie shook her head before glaring at him again, though it had softened a little since last time. "But this is still your fault. You set all this up, even if I supplied the drugs that blocked our memories."

Izaya felt a wave of exhaustion wash over him at her continued anger. Why did any of this have to happen? "Why are you so obsessed with placing blame? We both contributed to this and we both got out of it unscathed."

Namie took a few steps forward to stand right in front of Izaya, staring him down. "Because I want to know why you did it." She snapped.

He was starting to understand why, but now it just made him afraid. "Why does it matter?" He snapped right back, matching her stare for stare. "What's done is done, Namie! Let it go!"

"Because we might not get out of your next hare-brained scheme completely unscathed!" She said hotly. "Your actions have consequences, Izaya!"

Why…? "You really think I'm going to do something like this again?" He retorted.

Namie was adamant. "If you can't tell me why you did it, then sooner or later, you will." She said. "If you want to tell me what you said in that video was a lie, then tell me why you really did it."

"Because I didn't want to lose you!" The words were out of Izaya's mouth before he could really think about them. He'd only been fleetingly aware of this until now, and he still didn't fully understand his own motivations. But as he watched the expression on Namie's face change, he supposed he wouldn't have a chance to add any further nuance to it.

"Wait, what?" Namie said, the anger fading from her voice as she blinked at him.

Izaya pressed his palm to his forehead. His headache was getting worse. "Fuck, I'm pathetic."

Namie sat on the bedside in the little bedroom that Izaya rented for her as part of her job. It had never really felt like home, but it was the only place she could go most days to be alone.

She stared at the little phone in her hand as another text message came in from Mairu. Can't find anything. Sorry.

Namie shook slightly as she bowed her head. She navigated to her contacts list and dialed Seiji's number before putting the phone to her ear. It rang, and rang, and rang, until eventually it stopped and she was told to try again. She hung up and stared at her phone for a minute more, her fingers shaking as she fought back tears.

Where was Seiji? Where was her precious little brother? Was he running away from her? Why? She couldn't find any of the answers to these questions, and her shoulders shook as she failed to keep the tears from starting to roll down her cheeks. "Please, Seiji…" She pleaded into the empty air. "Come back."

She stayed like that for a while until a knock on her door caught her attention. It could only be one person. "Go away." She said harshly.

She heard the locks click before the door opened to reveal Izaya, holding a set of spare keys. He pocketed them before strolling over to her and staring down at her with a frown. "What the hell are you doing? I need you in the office." He said.

She glared at him through bloodshot eyes. "Fuck you." She replied.

Izaya blinked, before bending over slightly to get a closer look at her. "What's wrong with you? Have you been crying?" He said, his tone softening slightly.

She looked away from him. "That's none of your business. Get out of here, Izaya."

"Tell me what's wrong, Namie." He said, calmly but firmly.

The little note of genuine concern in his voice just made her more upset. "What do you think?" She said.

Izaya sighed before offering, "Seiji?"

Namie nodded ever so slightly. "He's run away. Nobody can find him and he won't answer my calls."

Izaya smirked. "Nobody in this city has more information than me. I can probably find him." He said. "It might cost you, though."

"I already looked through your files." She said bitterly.

Izaya frowned. When had she done that? She was sneakier than he'd given her credit for. "Well, regardless, there's contacts I can reach that you wouldn't find in my files." He said.

She didn't like the idea of getting help from him. But she wanted Seiji back. "Go find something, then." She said.

"Are you going to come back to work?" He asked her. "Information isn't free."

"You're horrible." She replied, turning to glare at him for a moment.

He raised an eyebrow at her before straightening up and turning away. "I'll take that as a delayed yes. I'll see you again when I've got your precious Seiji back." He said as he opened the door and departed.

Five hours later, Izaya was stumped. He had no idea where Seiji was. Mika Harima had to have something to do with that, he ruminated as he rose from his desk and headed back to Namie's room. Maybe he could convince her some other way. His office had been uncomfortably quiet all day.

She was in the same place as before when he unlocked her door and stepped inside again. Had she moved at all? This was really getting to her. He headed over to the bed and sat down alongside her. "Did you find anything?" She asked quietly when he didn't say anything for a minute.

"No, I didn't." He admitted. "Whatever he did, he covered his tracks incredibly well." Namie said nothing, though he saw her shiver once. He frowned as he eyed her carefully. "Is there anything I can do to cheer you up?" He asked helplessly.

"No." Was her reply.

"What are you going to do, Namie?" He said.

She didn't say anything.

Izaya leaned closer. "Namie, you have to have a plan of action with something like this. If you don't, you'll just end up hurting yourself."

"That's okay. Nothing could hurt me more than this." She said. Her voice sounded dead and emotionless.

Izaya felt a little stab of cold in his chest. At this rate, she was going to do something she couldn't take back. He needed something drastic, and he needed it now. "What if I took you on a vacation or something?" He said.

She blinked, before turning to give him an unamused look. "That doesn't bring Seiji back." She said coldly.

But it got a reaction from you. He thought. "It's not about bringing Seiji back, it's about forgetting him." He said. Now the gears were beginning to turn in his head. "Hell, we can go somewhere far, far away. Somewhere so different from what you're used to, you won't even recognize it."

Namie sighed. Her bitter, distant tone took on a new note of exasperation. "You're annoying." She said.

Izaya grinned at her. "I'm not messing with you here, Namie. You need to uproot yourself at a time like this. Leave Ikebukuro behind for awhile and start living again."

She stared at him in confused disbelief. "Why?"

He stood up and started to pace in front of her. "Because sometimes you need to destroy yourself to start over properly. Some of our baggage is buried so deep in ourselves that the only way to let go of it is something catastrophic."

Namie almost seemed to be considering it for a moment before she looked away from him again. "I don't need one of your stupid monologues." She said.

He knelt down in front of her, setting a finger on her cheek to turn her face back towards his. "It's not a monologue. Help me to help you forget all this crap. Let's destroy ourselves together." He said. "Think of it like a suicide pact, but fun."

She was always hard to read. But he could tell, then and there, that he was starting to break through the waves of apathy that had begun to drown her. Her expression became distantly thoughtful for several seconds before she seemed to come up with one more objection. "But why would you come with me?" She said.

He stood up again and offered a hand to her, grinning as always. "Because nobody should have to die alone. The same principle applies here, I think."

It was a completely crazy proposition, and she knew it. It didn't help that Izaya Orihara was the one offering it to her. She stared at the offered hand for what seemed like ages.

And then, she reached out and took it.

Namie blinked blearily at Izaya as the last of it came back to her. Everything was starting to look different to her now. "So… so, everything we did - destroying all of our stuff, going to Ireland, losing our memories - we did all of it because you were worried about me. Because you wanted to make me feel better." She said quietly, disbelievingly.

Izaya rubbed uncomfortably at the back of his neck. "I guess… but when you put it that way, it kinda makes me sound like an idiot." He admitted.

It was so reckless, and foolish, and short-sighted. It was chivalrous in the most pigheaded, absurd sort of way. It was such a completely roundabout way of telling her how he really felt.

It was so him.

"Izaya…" She'd leaned closer to him without realizing it, and she closed the last of the distance to capture his lips with hers without a second thought. She felt Izaya freeze in shock for a moment before he began to return the kiss. It was soft, and warm, and surprisingly chaste for the two people sharing it - and it satisfied Namie in a way she hadn't really expected.

He looked a little dazed when she pulled away. It made her smile. "You are an idiot." She said.

Izaya shook himself to try to clear his head, but he couldn't help feeling a little dizzy. There were too many things going through his head that he didn't know how to process, now. "I am an idiot." He admitted. "But, I'm confused." He said, staring at her. "Why the sudden switch? You were furious at me a moment ago."

Namie looked briefly thoughtful. "I guess I just finally realized what kind of person you really are. I like that person." She confirmed with a small nod of her head.

"Well, that's one of us who likes me." He said with a smirk. "Still, what does this say about your taste in men?"

She laughed, and right then, it was the most beautiful sound in the world for Izaya. "I can't help it. I like what I like." She said.

Izaya sighed and looked away for a moment. He was happy, but that happiness came with a flutter of fear. It was difficult to look her in the eyes, now. "So, you're not mad with me anymore?"

Namie gave him a concerned look as he turned away, but shook her head. "No, I don't think so. You're stupid, but I can forgive that."

Izaya smiled to himself as he looked around at the darkened school. How long had they been there? "That's gracious of you." He said, before turning back to her. "We should probably get out of here soon, but there's one last thing I need to get before we go."

She raised an eyebrow at him. "Hm?" She said curiously.

He strolled forward through the rows of desks until he reached one at the front. His fingers traced the underside until he found the object taped under it. He pulled it away, before smiling victoriously as he eyed his prize. Namie moved close to peer at it over his shoulder.

It was a little black plastic card with "Izaya Orihara" printed on the front. It looked like a bank card. "Is that what I think it is?" She said.

"If I'm remembering correctly, yes." Izaya said as he pocketed it. "We won't know for sure until we try it out, though." He turned his head to eye her. "You hungry?" He asked.

Namie nodded with a grimace. "Starving." She admitted.

He took a step past her towards the exit. "Then let's go get something to eat."

Izaya's fingers danced over the screen of his phone as Namie drove them through the streets of Ikebukuro. "Where are we headed?" She asked him.

Izaya looked thoughtful for a moment before replying, "Russia Sushi." He went back to paying attention to his phone once he'd spoken.

Namie eyed the phone out of the corner of her eye as he continued to fiddle with it. "Why there? It's kind of a weird choice." She said.

"I'd kinda like to keep it quiet that I'm back in town. Russia Sushi's usually pretty quiet and empty, and I think I can trust Simon and Dennis not to gossip about me to anyone." Izaya explained.

"Being subtle for once, hm?" She said with an amused note to her voice.

"Hey, I'm plenty subtle." He retorted. "Just, you know, less so this week."

"Mmmhmm." Namie said sarcastically. She glanced his way again. He was still staring at his phone. "Who are you texting, there?"

Izaya sighed and pocketed the phone after typing something out. "Just my sisters. Now that I've got my phone back, I figured they probably deserved to know I was still alive. They didn't seem too excited, though." He said with a scowl out the window.

"Does that bother you?" She asked.

Izaya blinked. "What, my sisters? I don't really care. They're free to do whatever they want, I guess."

Namie tilted her head in his direction. "It seems like it bothers you."

Izaya raised an eyebrow at her. "Since when are you a mind-reader?"

Namie smirked out the windshield. "I don't need to be a mind-reader to pick up on your cues after spending months dealing with you every day." She turned her head to peer at him as they stopped at a red light. "Like it or not, Izaya, I can read you better than probably anyone else."

Izaya shivered a little as he looked away. "So you can." He admitted.

"Izaya?" She said his name with obvious concern as she looked away too to continue driving.

"It's nothing." He said. "Don't worry about it. Look, we're here!" He gestured to the building approaching on their left, which the signage declared "Russia Sushi".

Namie pulled the car to a stop at the first open space she could find. She fixed Izaya with a frown as he got out without saying anything more, before getting out herself to follow him.

As usual, Simon was out front trying to attract customers. He was in the middle of soliciting a young woman who looked like a tourist when he caught sight of Izaya. "Oh! Izaya. You are not dead!" He said cheerily.

"Hello to you, too, Simon." Izaya said with a grin as he passed the larger man by. Namie smiled at him too as she passed by, and got one in return before she followed Izaya into the store proper.

It was empty, as it tended to get on weekdays. Izaya looked around for some sign of Dennis, but couldn't find him before Simon had followed them inside too. "So, what are you two having?" He asked as he stepped into Izaya's line of sight.

Izaya flinched for a moment as the giant suddenly filled his field of view. He reached into his pocket and pulled out the black card he'd found at the school before offering it to Simon. "I don't really care. Just pick something hearty for us and tell me if that card works when you ring us up."

"This not stolen, is it?" Simon said seriously as he eyed the card. "Hm. It has your name on it. Okay!" He said, his suspicions allayed almost the moment they'd come up. "I will be back soon!" With that he turned and headed behind the counter.

Namie and Izaya both took a seat at the counter a moment later, Izaya leaning on it with both elbows while Namie sat up straight with her hands in her lap. "I don't think I've ever had anything from this place before - just picked stuff up for you." She said.

Izaya smiled wistfully. "There's a reason I don't order from this place often."

Namie grimaced. After a minute, Simon returned, offering Izaya his card with one hand and a tray of assorted - and strange - sushi with the other. "Card is good! Much like sushi." He said as Izaya took the card. Simon set the tray down on the counter before nodding to his two customers. "Let me know if you need more!" With that he disappeared back into the kitchen.

Namie peered at their food. "Is that cheese?" She said after a moment.

Izaya chuckled softly. "Among other things."

Namie stared at the cheese roll a second longer before taking it and eating it without any further hesitation. "Hmmm…" she said as she finished chewing and swallowed it, "It's not that bad." She reflected.

Izaya tried one a moment later, grimacing as he swallowed it. "That is a very generous assessment." He replied.

Namie grinned as she turned her attention to him. "I guess I've just got tougher taste buds than you do."

"That's not exactly something to be proud of." Izaya said.

"Maybe not, but I'll take any victory I can get with you." She said.

Izaya smiled to himself, but didn't say anything back. An awkward silence slowly fell between the two of them as they ate.

"So… Izaya…" Namie said as she took another break. Her voice was less certain than before. She still wasn't entirely certain how to broach the topic of what they'd done back at the school.

Izaya could already tell what she was trying to get at - which was why it surprised him that he couldn't think of anything to say. He felt nervous, and uncomfortable, and completely out of his element. Why was he so scared, when he knew what he wanted? "Yes, Namie?" He said, avoiding looking at her.

She was about to reply when the sound of the door opening caught both of their attentions. Two girls in matching hoodies, one yellow and one green, walked into the restaurant and immediately began heading their way. "So you really aren't dead!" The one in yellow said, grinning with all her teeth at once.

"No, Mairu, I'm not." He replied.

The one in green said nothing, but hurried forward to hug him. Izaya flinched for a moment before leaning into the hug slightly without adding to it. "Kururi!" Mairu chided her before pulling her quieter sister away. "Stop that."

"I missed him." Kururi protested softly.

Mairu rolled her eyes. "And I'll never understand why."

"And neither will I." Izaya said with a smirk. "But thanks anyways, Kururi."

Kururi nodded at him. Mairu took a seat next to Namie, and her sister sat next to Izaya a second later. "I noticed you kinda dropped off the map while Izaya was gone, too." Mairu said as she peered at Namie.

Namie smiled at the excitable high-schooler. "That's not a coincidence." She said.

"Ooooh." Mairu said as she leaned forward on the counter so she could look at both Izaya and Namie at once. "What were you two doing together, I wonder?" She said with a lascivious smile.

Izaya winced. Not the topic he'd been hoping for. Maybe he should've expected it from Mairu. "Getting kidnapped." He said, staring her down.

"Kidnapped?" Kururi said from Izaya's side, looking surprised.

"Woah! How'd you get back?" Mairu said. "It better have been an adventure!"

Namie spoke up before Izaya could. "Well, it wasn't your typical kidnapping. We weren't being held hostage at any point, since Izaya himself organized it."

Mairu's eyes widened. "Izaya kidnapped you?" She slammed her fists on the counter as her smile returned. "So it is like I thought it was!"

"No, it's not!" Izaya snapped. He'd called them out here to avoid these topics, not bring them up. Why did they always have to be such a pain?

Mairu stared at Izaya, then turned to Namie. "Is he lying? He looks kinda fidgety."

Namie smirked as she leaned towards Izaya, peering at him out of the corner of her eyes. "Welllll…" She said teasingly.

"Namie!" Izaya said with disbelief in his voice.

"I can't believe it!" Mairu said, practically bouncing in her seat. "Izaya's got a crush!"

"I never saw it coming." Kururi said from her seat.

"You two are incredibly annoying." Izaya said as he put his face in his hands.

"Now you know how I feel about you." Namie said with a wry smile.

"What a cute couple!" Mairu said, trying to catch a glimpse of Izaya through his fingers.

Izaya groaned as he turned around in his seat, ready to get up. "Namie, are you ready to go? I think I'm done eating."

Namie was having a hard time wiping the smile off her face. It was a rare thing to see Izaya Orihara looking flustered. "Ready when you are."

"Oooh, where are you going? A love hotel?" Mairu said as she got to her feet.

Izaya glared at her. "None of your business." He said.

Namie winked at Mairu. "Probably just a normal hotel, sadly."

Mairu tittered to herself. Izaya blinked as he felt a pair of arms encircle him from behind as Kururi hugged him again. "Stay safe, okay, big brother?" She said quietly.

Izaya felt a little of his irritation subside as he reached back to gently pat Kururi's arm. "I'll try." He said as she let go of him. The two girls watched Izaya and Namie depart.

"How long do you think it'll be until he breaks?" Mairu said as she glanced back at her sister.

"Probably just the night." Kururi said as she smiled faintly.

Izaya was most of the way back to the car when Simon's voice caught his attention. "Wait, Izaya!" He shouted.

Izaya turned around to find the burly Russian chasing him down. He gave the man a curious look as he slowed to a stop in front of the information broker. "What is it?" Izaya asked.

"I have this for you." Simon said as he offered an envelope to Izaya. "Almost forgot."

Izaya blinked as he took the envelope and stared at it. "Who's it from?" He asked.

"Funny thing." Simon said as he pointed to Izaya. "Is from you!" He said with a smile. "Last week, you come tell me to hold onto this, and give it to you if I ever see you again."

Izaya scowled at the letter. Probably more taunting or riddles. He forced a smile as he looked back at Simon again. "I see. Thanks, Simon." He said with a slight bow of his head.

"No problem! You eat sushi again sometime, yeah?" He said, before departing back to the restaurant.

Izaya sighed as he got back into the car alongside Namie. She peered at the envelope in his hands before he put it in one of his coat pockets. "What was that?" She asked.

Izaya gave her a reassuring smile. "More junk mail from my past self. Don't mind it. Let's go find a hotel, yeah?"

Namie nodded, and a moment later they pulled back out into the streets of Ikebukuro.

They managed to find a room at a decent hotel before nightfall, much to Izaya's relief. It had two beds, and Izaya couldn't help feeling a little relief at that, too, as he sat down on the one nearer to the window. "Ugh." He said tiredly as he glanced over his shoulder at the darkening sky outside.

"It's been a long day." Namie said as she sat down on the other bed. "We were all over Ikebukuro today." She reminded him.

Izaya nodded. "Yeah. That was a wild goose chase if I've ever been on one."

Namie grinned at him. "I'm sure you've been on many." She said, going quiet a moment before changing the subject. "Your sisters are pretty cute."

Izaya gave her a flat look. "Not you too." He said, leaning his head back to stare at the ceiling. "They're pretty annoying, is what they are."

"They certainly know how to push your buttons. I could probably learn a thing or two from them." She said.

"Trust me, you already know enough." He said. This was their normal banter - It had been their little form of fun for ages. And yet, there was something different to it now that made him feel apprehensive. Her voice was sweeter and the way she looked at him was gentler. Not to mention the way he wanted to look at her. He didn't know what to do about any of it.

"I think there's a lot I'd still like to know." She said, her voice less teasing and more serious now. For her part, Namie wasn't sure what to do from here. She knew now that she had been suppressing feelings for Izaya - but his reaction made her wonder if he reciprocated. He seemed so cagey and uncomfortable now.

"Namie…" Izaya said quietly, a note of protest in his voice.

"Izaya… I know it's awkward, and maybe you haven't thought about it much yet, but at some point I'd really like to know your thoughts on, well… you and me." There. She'd said it. She was surprised at how fast her heart was beating now. She didn't think anyone but Seiji could make her this nervous.

Izaya's mind flashed to that one kiss. It was such a simple gesture, and yet it had affected him on so many levels. He wanted to tell her how much he'd enjoyed it - and how much more afraid it made him of losing her. How afraid it made him of being hurt. But he couldn't even say that much without opening himself up.

"I'm really sorry that I'm being so distant." He said. "I guess I'm still figuring that out, myself."

Namie's heart sank. No fairytale romances for her. A small part of her mind wondered darkly if he was going to become another Seiji. She forced a smile as she nodded at him. "Of course, Izaya. No pressure."

It hurt to see the little cracks in her mask, but Izaya didn't know what to say right then. He settled for smiling back at her and nodding.

The rest of the night passed in awkward silence and occasional, brief conversation. Before he knew it, Namie was asleep in her bed, and the night outside had grown dark. Izaya laid in his bed, contemplating sleep. He sat up and removed his phone from his coat pocket, setting it on the nightstand. He was about to take off the coat too when he realized something was in the other pocket.

"Right, the letter…" He said quietly to himself as he pulled it out of his pocket. He stared at the envelope as he considered tossing it in the trash. It was unlikely anything he could've written to himself would've been worthwhile.

"Fuck it…" He sighed as he tore the seal and opened it. He pulled out a sheet of printed paper and unfolded it. Unlike the other notes, this one was extremely brief, with only two words printed at the top in black ink.

Stop running.

Izaya stared at those two words, and shivered. Then he folded it up and tossed it aside on the bed. He could only wonder what context his past self had expected him to see that message in, but now…

Namie had turned out the lights on her side of the room, and when he peered across the room to her bed, her face was framed in shadow as she slept peacefully under the covers. She looked serene - and beautiful. Just her face sent a million different urges through Izaya that he had mostly been able to ignore up until today.

"I'm so pathetic…" Izaya whispered to himself as he slung his coat to the floor at the foot of the bed, turning out the light and laying back in his bed. Shinra had once said that Izaya had a glass heart, and that that was why he'd always been so careful to keep others at arm's length. He could reflect all different kinds of humanity, but he'd be shattered at an indelicate touch.

As he felt himself drifting off, he wondered if Namie would be able to keep him intact.

Izaya's eyes fluttered open what felt like minutes later, but by the sunlight beginning to creep through the window, he could tell it'd been hours. He turned to look towards Namie's bed and found her still asleep, as always seemed to be the case when he woke up. Maybe she was a heavier sleeper than he.

The events of the last night still lingered in his mind as he got out of bed and stretched, slowly getting to his feet. He still wasn't entirely sure what he wanted to say to her, but maybe now was the ideal time to practice. She probably wouldn't be up for a while, given how early it was. He stepped over his coat as he made his way to the bathroom.

He ended up staring at himself in the mirror. His dark hair was messy, and after a week of inattention it was starting to grow out past the length he liked to keep it at, dangling over his forehead. He also reflected that he could use a change of clothes. He and Namie had been wandering around in what they woke up in for a few days now.

He just kept staring even as the thoughts faded. Was he really going to do this? He felt awkward even just thinking about it. "Namie, I…" he began, and quickly shut his mouth. "Basically, my feelings for you, are… are…" He groaned as he shut himself up again. Nothing he said sounded right. Why was this so difficult?

He smirked bitterly at the image of himself in the mirror. Maybe Shinra was right. He could hold the whole underworld of Ikebukuro in the palm of his hand, but he couldn't articulate his feelings to a woman he cared about. He was a glass-hearted, emotionally-broken child who manipulated people to keep them where he wanted them.

"You really think you deserve any of this?" He said to himself. "You gave up the right to be happy when you decided to love humanity. Watching people is your life now. Why are you pretending you can have anything else?" Talking like this was easy. Being a devil was easy. Being himself was so much harder. Maybe it really was his own fault.

"Izaya?" A soft voice snapped him out of his thoughts, and he looked towards the door to the bathroom in surprise. Namie was standing there, looking at him curiously. "Am I interrupting something?" She said.

Izaya stepped away from the mirror. "No, no, nothing like that. Sorry about that. Did you need to use the bathroom? I can leave, if you like." He said.

Namie shook her head as she took a few steps closer. "No, I was just wondering where you'd gone. Then I heard your voice from the bathroom, so…" She said, trailing off before smiling wryly at him. "Were you practicing one of your monologues?"

Izaya blinked once before chuckling. "No, I don't need to practice those. Monologuing just comes naturally to me. It's my natural mode of communication, don't you know?"

She strolled a little closer until she was in front of him. "It certainly suits your grandiose nature. You definitely know how to make your point, Izaya Orihara." She said, her smile softening as she met his eyes.

Izaya felt himself tensing up. He was so totally unused to her behaving like this around him. He was even less accustomed to wanting this kind of attention from someone, and yet he couldn't deny that he did want it from her. And as he stared back at her, he realized she was looking at him expectantly. He didn't know what to say.

So he kissed her. She let out a small, surprised gasp as their lips met, but a moment later she was kissing him back, her arms gently sliding around his neck. He reached up to run his fingers through her dark hair as he enjoyed the warmth, the closeness and her taste on his lips.

She was breathing a little more heavily when he pulled away, her cheeks faintly red. She looked so beautiful, and the way she was looking at him now sent shivers down his spine.

Maybe it really was that easy?

"Namie…" He said, his fingers still gliding through her hair. "I love you."

She smiled at him, but didn't say anything just yet. His hand moved from her hair to her cheek as he felt his chest tightening with nerves. "Namie? Are you okay?"

She seemed to shake herself from something before nodding. "I am…" She said, nuzzling her cheek against his fingers as she seemed to find her words, "But there's something that still kind of nags at me."

He frowned as he watched her. "What is it?"

She sighed, then continued, "When you say that you love me… is it the same kind of love you mean when you say you 'love humanity'?" She looked a little worried as she stared into his eyes.

That was what was bothering her? Izaya couldn't quite manage to suppress a breath of laughter. Namie's frown deepened. "What's so funny?" She asked him.

Izaya shook his head slightly as he smiled at her. "Sorry, it's just… When I say I love humanity, I don't really, well… mean it. It's just a defense mechanism. I "love" humanity to place myself apart from it. To deny that I'm a human myself, with emotions and vulnerabilities." He pulled his hand away from her cheek as he realized it was shaking. "But I am human, and apparently quite nervous around you."

Namie reached up to take his shaking hand in hers, slowly knitting her fingers with his. He felt a little rush of relief as the smile returned to her face. "I see. That… makes me feel considerably better." She admitted. She leaned a little closer to nuzzle her forehead against his as she said, "I love you too, Izaya."

Izaya felt a little quiver of excitement in his stomach he hadn't ever felt before. Then he set the fingers of his free hand under her chin to guide her face up to his, and kissed her once more.

Each of them knew the other wasn't perfect. There would no doubt be problems tomorrow, or a week from now, or maybe even later today. Each of them still had their own issues to conquer.

But in that moment, they were happy.