-Cloud-

Damn this place! I've spent minutes shoving past crowds of drunk, deranged men who have nothing else better to do than swig buckets of booze and cavort with unsuspecting women. Some of them even called my attention and asked me to sit down and drink with them. I ignored their idiotic banters. I refused as calmly as I could; but one, in particular, had the guts to place his grubby little fingers on my shoulder. The unfortunate gentleman was then thrown into the air within seconds after he touched the cloth of my shirt. The said gentleman, after recovering from his downfall, tried to incite for another round but after I shot him a murderous glare he backed down. It's a good thing I wasn't in the mood for killing… which was strange. What the hell was happening to me? At that circumstance I would've accepted the challenge and fight to the death. But, something was stopping me… Something from the back of my head was whispering words I couldn't decipher with my current vocabulary, which consisted only of death, murder, killing, and the like. Have I gone insane?

"Cloud…"

Oh, that's right. Somebody did stop me… literally. I looked down and gazed at her emerald green eyes. Colours that surrounded us were playing on the surface of her eyes but it never took away its natural colour. It was like a rainbow mirrored on a kaleidoscope. I never thought I'd have these thoughts about it. She's somebody who widened my world, my thoughts. Awakening things in me I couldn't understand. Things I couldn't believe were there.

"You ok?" She looked into my eyes, trying to see if something was in there. But I wasn't that crazy yet. Before I knew it, the lid that began to open in my heart was shut tightly again… by me.

"Let's go back," I said with firmness. I must remain constant. I shouldn't think about inconsequential things. My mission is still ongoing, my rank at stake. I've gone too far to fool around with this senseless witch.

She looked at me with furrowed eyebrows and pouting lips. That expression on her face was irritating; it made me want to shut her up and return her to the inn. However, on the other hand, that look almost made me reach out and do whatever she wants just to see it go away and change it into a smile, a laugh perhaps. Just as I was about to weigh those options, she took my hand and beamed brightly. That was the exact moment when the speakers that scattered across town played a song. And damn… it was addicting.

I can't understand what's inside my heart

Every time we hold hands

Praying that we'd always be together

Wishing that in every hour I'm with you

In everything that I do

You're the only one in my mind, love

I hope we won't get separated

No matter what happens

You're the only one I love

You're the only one I want

To be with you forever

Only you, my love

And I won't ask for more

-Aerith-

Holding his big hands, it's as if I was holding Zack's hands all over again. Nostalgia washed over me as I saw Zack instead of Cloud… and I felt guilty. I already admitted and accepted that he'd never come back to me. First love does have a big impact in a person's life. He was the first one I ever loved and I thought I'd never love another man again after him. His shadow is everywhere. But I really need to forget him. Besides, everyone graduates from something right?

I don't want the sad events to repeat

I don't want to remember the past

Every time you're gone

It's like a heavy punishment

Cloud didn't argue when we visited almost every stall of the festival. He even played a few games and won a prize for me! There we were on a shooting game. It was his idea even! His eyes basically lit up when he saw a gun, though he was a little disappointed when he realized it was a fake. I encouraged him to give it a try, and he did. I was doubtful of his skills at first because he never held a gun when he was with me, but when he toppled every toy soldier at the farthest distance I grew somewhat afraid of him. He was a sharpshooter. Not to mention his sword skills. He could be an expert assassin, a ruthless murderer.

However those thoughts of him, the feeling I had of fear… all of those disappeared when I saw the proud look on his face when he brought down all the targets. He was smiling, laughing like I've never seen him before. It made me think of him as a little child who was just beginning to have fun and be praised. He was handsomest when he smiles.

Another song played through the speakers, and I think it was speaking out for him.

This night is blessing the day that we met
The moon is out in the sky and the stars are smiling
I wish that your smile won't be erased as I pray
For these happy days to always continue

"There is no way in hell you'll see me in that thing. I swear to Gaia, if you ever pla—"

"Too late!" I laughed as I placed Cloud's prize—a chocobo hat—on his head. I backed a few feet away from him to take a good look when I accidentally bumped into another person. I turned back to apologize but my throat was caught between metal-like fingers! I was raised into the air, my feet dangling a few inches above the ground. Unconsciously, tears ran down my face as I looked down to see what had gone wrong. What had I done to be hurt so badly?

Before I could even blink, the man who had choked me was hurled a few meters away from where I was. I fell hard on the ground as soon as his fingers left my neck. I could still feel the pain radiating from my throat.

"I'll kill you…"

My eyes widened at those words and I gasped when I saw Cloud trudging dangerously towards the man. I quickly stood up and blocked the blonde from getting any closer from the already injured man. I had this grave feeling that something bad was going to happen. When I looked up to stare at his eyes, I froze. The Cloud who I was with earlier was gone. He was replaced by a stranger I didn't know. This stranger had a dark face and bloodshot eyes. Suddenly, everything around us grew cold; it was only him and me. He was like a raging storm, darkness, and death materialized. I was afraid of this Cloud.

"Damn you bastard, I'm gonna kill you… all the likes of you…"

"Stop it, Cloud!" He looked at me, his face blank.

He took another step forward; I placed my hands on his chest. Milliseconds after I foolishly tried to stop him I was thrown aside, blood and bruises covered my arms. I watched as men who tried to stop him were also flung and clobbered. I was scared; I didn't know what to do against this man I didn't know. Where was Cloud? Where were his smiles? Had it been an illusion? Is the Cloud I knew different from the Cloud standing in front of me now? I don't want to lose him. His fragility, his gentleness… I… I want to know more. I want to be with him more. I want to take care of him.

Summoning my strength, I shouted his name at the top of my lungs. After that, I fainted.

Hey, Cloud. If you weren't a Soldier and I'm not a Healer… could we have been friends?

Ikaw Lamang – Silent Sanctuary

Believe – Super Junior