-Cloud-
I lost it. When I saw her pained face, everything blacked out. Burning rage consumed every fibre of my being and the only way I know to alleviate it is to kill somebody, an outlet for anger. This feeling is so deliciously familiar, so freeing… This is what I'm made of, what I yearn for, what I trained to be! A smile crept to my lips as I let this murderous feeling fill every vein in my body, summoning the sleeping strength that I have reserved. My fingers twitched in exhilaration, my heartbeat steady yet raucous. I'm…
"CLOUD!"
A voice entered the darkness. It was sweet, innocent. Like a dark room illuminated with light, my vision returned to me. I was back in reality. There was the person who gave me a stupid 'chocobo' hat. He was lying on the rocky pavement with blood oozing from his head. Others like him were trying to crawl further away from me; their eyes glinting with fear and rage, a look none too foreign when I ravaged my hometown. Usually I exchanged it with a smile, but this time… I was…
I looked at my bloody hands and at the bewildered faces of the townsfolk; then I knew that what I felt now wasn't different from them. I was frightened… of myself. I was afraid. I needed something. I want it so desperately that I'd die if I don't have it. I needed her smile. I needed to know everything was a dream, that I didn't do anything wrong, that it wasn't me who did this. When I found her at last, my heart pumped so fast I thought it'd explode in my chest.
Aerith…
Her body was immobile, unconscious at a distance not too far from where I stood. She wasn't moving. Everything grew dark again; it was only her and me. The music died, the lights flickered, and everybody went away… it was only her that I see. Slowly, I stepped towards her, my feet felt like it was being swallowed up by cement.
She was lying on the hard ground.
It must have been rough.
Red liquid trickled from her bruises.
It must have been painful.
I bent down, my face unseen, my arms carefully cradling her body in between. She grimaced lightly in pain, and then her lids slightly opened to look at me. I gazed at her, and for a moment our eyes locked. I didn't know what she saw then for she graced me with a smile before she fell into a deep sleep. Her every breath, every heartbeat… I never knew, after what I've done… I began to treasure these little things.
In this cold world, I lived without anything of special value
I couldn't help but cry when I walked the dark streets
I've been waiting for you for a long time
For someone who's just like me
Is this what they say when you've lost control? Is this how it felt? My superiors once said, when you lose control in a battle you are already defeated. Have I failed? I had spent years in training to never lose to any emotion. Had those years of intense, backbreaking training ended in naught? I have no answers to those questions, but one thing is certain. I will not lose control again. I looked at her and promised myself, I'll never lose myself again.
-Aerith-
Everything in me was crying out in pain when I moved my arms. I fluttered my eyes into the darkness, and I slowly sat up. What had happened? How did I get here? The very last thing I remember was a pair of gleaming sapphire orbs. My eyes roamed the expanse of the room that we rented. A cold breeze came in from the open windows, making me rub my skin for warmth. I froze when I felt patches all over my forearms. I looked down and my eyes stung when I saw neatly made bandages covering my wounds. That's right. Cloud did this. When he carried me upstairs, he took care of me. I was slightly conscious until he was done… and I slept.
Where was he?
Then, a melody came out of nowhere. Well, it came out from outside the window. I walked over to investigate and surely I saw the blonde sitting on the rooftop with his eyes on the stars. He was strumming a little wooden guitar…
I recognized this tune. Absentmindedly, I leaned forward and sang along.
You consoled me in my loneliness
You never grew tired of listening to my song
When the night grows colder I have your embrace
The warmth of your love consumes me
And because of you my feelings have awakened
I learned to dream within the darkness
I faced sufferings, I loved life
I could reach the sky when I'm with you
He stopped momentarily and gazed off into the distance. Had he heard me? I guess not, for when I sat next to him, his eyes never left the darkness. He was deep in his thoughts, so deep in fact that his usual fast reflexes had stopped working. I wasn't used to seeing him like this, I mean, really silent and pensive like this. Feeling lucky, I took a gil from my pocket and showed it to him, grinning.
"A gil for your thoughts?"
That did the trick for he slowly averted his gaze from the infinite void and onto my open palm. Seconds passed, and then… a miracle happened. He laughed! At that moment, time froze for the two of us. I mentally took a picture of him in my mind and stored it within the depths of my heart. This was the first time I heard him laugh, and it left me a warm and fuzzy feeling. Is this…?
"Isn't that supposed to be a metaphor?" He asked suddenly. He had stopped chuckling but a smile was still etched on his lips.
"I…uhh…hmm…" For the first time in my whole life, I was at a loss for words. Blood was rushing through my cheeks and in my head, making me unable to speak. The only remedy for that is a swift change of subject. "I-I didn't know you…umm...played the guitar."
"That, among other things," he stated before turning to face me with a serious look. Tonight, the moon's light that was reflected in his eyes glistened like moonbeams playing on the surface of the ocean's deep waters. Enchantingly mysterious yet dark and brooding… like it was hiding something. "Aerith…"
He hesitated. He couldn't look directly into my eyes. He wanted to say something, I know. So I carefully placed my hands on his and gave it a little squeeze.
Its ok, Cloud. You can tell me anything. Anything… But those words never came out of my lips because he already understood. We were connected… somehow.
"Aerith… I—"
"Aerith, Cloud!" Mr. Henrick burst into our door with voices of angry men bellowing from downstairs. "Ya gotta run!"
Endless Moment – Super Junior
Dinamayan – 6cyclemind