Ch 22
"I'm just saying, somebody should have found us by now." Tucker said.
Wash only grunted in response, as he continued to work on fixing the radio with Six's help.
"If a plane crashes and disappears, that's fine; civillians." Tucker said.
"Not sure I follow that." Wash said.
"But this was a spaceship. National tragedy level importance. The galactic positioning system should have alerted command in case we went down." Tucker said.
"Tucker, how do you know that?" Six asks.
"I read it in a book?" Tucker said.
"Bullshit." Six said.
"I don't believe that. Then again, I don't care." Wash said.
"What happened to my iron?" Wash asks.
"I don't know." Tucker said.
"Damn it. This would be going so much faster if I didn't have to search for tools every five minutes." Wash said.
"You think the reds took it?" Tucker asks.
Wash pulled a shotgun out of nowhere, and spoke in a mock southern accent.
"Men, it appears our shitty fortifications aren't meeting my ridiculous standards! Lets steal Washington's tank and fire at our wall! That'll fix it!"
"Yes, I think it was the reds." Wash said in his normal voice.
"Why are you so wound up all the time?" Tucker asks.
"Gee, maybe it's because we crashed on an unknown planet in the middle of nowhere, and no-one has come to get us. Not the UNSC, nor the inhabitants of this rock, if anyone is still alive. God, what a scary thought." Six said.
"And every second we're here is another second closer to death. Or worse." Wash said.
"Okay, that's a little morbid." Six said.
"What's worse than death?" Tucker asks.
"I don't know. I just thought it sounded dramatic." Wash said.
"Come on. It's not that bad." Tucker said.
"Did you suffer a serious head trauma when we crashed? Do you not listen to my little rant?" Six asked.
"Six is right. This place is unnerving. It's like we're being watched." Wash said.
"Oh, please. People get that feeling all the time. I had it for years." Tucker said.
"But you were watched all the time, by Freelancer." Six pointed out.
"Well I don't feel like I'm being watched right now." Tucker said.
"Thanks. I feel much more secure." Wash sarcastically said.
"Don't be a dick." Tucker said.
"Then don't be an idiot." Wash retorted.
"What's your problem?" Tucker asks.
"My problem is, you and Six are right. Someone should have found us by now." Wash soberly said.
The situation was made worse when the reds appeared, with a robot.
"What do you want?" Wash asked.
"Figured it'd be a good idea to come over and lend a hand." Sarge said.
"No. That's a terrible idea. Please, don't touch anything." Wash said.
"But we could offer tech support." Simmons said.
"Have you tried using d batteries?" Sarge asked.
"Power isn't the problem. These battery arrays are solar powered." Wash said.
"Well there's your problem already. We got to convert this baby to diesel on the pronto."
"Solar is fuel standard for communication systems."
"Well, Oh la la, private hippy. Hey, I got an idea. Why don't we just plant a garden, grow some organic sun dried tomatoes and open a farmer's market. Then on the first Saturday of the month, when the UNSC shows up to by some fruit, we'll just hop onboard and ride back on the power of love." Sarge said.
Six had to hold in laughing, though he was struggling to underneath the armor.
"Tucker, if they touch anything, or if he speaks again, prod them with your sword." Wash ordered.
"That's something I can get behind." Tucker said, activating his sword and turned around at the reds, then realization hit in.
"Oh no. Not that." Tucker said.
"Tucker, you're holding a covenant plasma sword. That can cut thru any piece of armor and shielding in the known galaxy. Now follow his orders." Wash said.
"Then I guess you don't want help from our advanced robot." Sarge said, as Lopez 2.0 appeared.
"Hola." The robot said, only speaking Spanish.
"Nope!" Wash said.
"Racist." Grif said.
"Hey tree hugger, what if I told you it runs on recycled cooking grease? Grif sweats the stuff." Sarge said.
"Gross." Six said, glad that he joined blue team.
The robot offered to fix the radio tower, but no-one could understand him.
"Damn it. Why did I program my armor to translate covenant language, but not fucking Spanish?" Six asked himself.
"Why don't you three go check on our food supply? It's been a while since I've done a full inventory." Wash said.
"You're going to let Grif check our food?" Six asks.
"Second thought, don't do that." Wash said.
Wash hit the radio, and it turned on, grabbing a signal.
"Mayday, mayday. This is agent Washington of project freelancer. Can anyone read me, over." He said.
No response.
"Mayday, mayday. We are survivors of a shipwreck and are in need of immediate rescue, please respond, over." He continued.
Still, no response.
"Mayday, mayday. This is Agent Washington and red and blue troopers of project freelancer. We are stranded, does anyone copy?"
No response, and Wash let out a final plea for help.
"Mayday, this is agent Washington. I am soldier. Is anybody out there? Can anybody hear me?"
Static was heard, and a voice came thru.
"Hello, can you hear me?" the voice asked.
"Yes, we're here. Do you read us?" Wash asked.
"It's an emergency!" Simmons said.
"Code red!" Sarge added.
"What, you mean a lightish red?" the voice asked. Everyone just stared at the tower, unsure if the voice they heard was real, or their imaginations.
"What the fuck did he just say?" Tucker asked.
"I mean, there are many shades of red." The voice said.
"Donut! Is that you?" Sarge asks, standing next to Wash.
"Sarge? Hey guys. What have you all been up to?" Donut asked.
"We're stranded in the middle of the jungle with dwindling food and limited supplies!" Sarge said.
"That sucks." Donut said.
"No shit!" Grif shouted.
"Donut, I need you to listen to me. You need to send help! Call command!" Sarge continued.
"Command? I think I know a guy if you want to turn this into a three way." Donut said.
"No! We don't want that. I need you to write down these coordinates." Sarge said.
"Who's Donut again?" Wash asks, looking at the rest of the troopers.
"Cheery guy. Pink armor." Simmons said.
"Kind of stupid." Grif added.
"And a little…" Tucker started.
"Did I shoot him once?" Wash asked.
"Bingo." Grif said.
"And we're sure he's competent to save our lives?" Wash asked.
"Sorry. Did you say 5, or 9?" Donut asked.
"I said 8." Sarge said.
"Right." Wash said, realizing their chances of dying went thru the roof.
"Donut, those are our last coordinates, but let them know that we have no idea where we are." Wash said.
"Don't worry, guys. No matter how deep the bush, private donut always finds his man." Donut cheerfully said.
Wash and Sarge give each other a brief look.
"Roger that, son." Sarge said.
"So, what happened?" Grif asked.
"Well boys, I don't want to jinx ourselves, but we're getting rescued!" Sarge shouted.
Everyone began to celebrate, and fire all their excess ammunition indiscriminately into the air.
"Sure. Lets waste the limited ammo we have. Of course the planet is empty." Six sarcastically said.
"Lets not get our hopes up, just yet." Wash said.
"Come on, Wash. Lighten up. We did it. We made contact." Tucker said.
"Well, it is good news." Wash replied.
Caboose suddenly appeared and spoke.
"Hey guys, I'd like to introduce you to my new friend." Caboose said.
"New friend?" Six asked, wondering what the idiot found.
"Freckles, come!" Caboose said.
Heavy thumping noise was heard, and everyone looked as a large robot appeared, armed with a 30mm machine gun, and rocket launchers.
"Everyone, I would like you to meet freckles. Freckles, say hello." Caboose said.
"Enemy soldiers detected." The robot said, aiming his weapons at Grif and Simmons.
"Those aren't our enemies, Freckles. Those are Grif and Simmons. Our enemies." Caboose said, causing the robot to charge its rockets for a strike.
"Firing main cannon." Freckles said.
"Freckles, stand down!" Six shouted, aiming his rifle at the war machine.
"Yes, sir." Freckles said, his AI reading the UNSC Spartan as a superior.
"So, what are you guys up to?" Caboose asked, while everyone stared in fear and horror at the large robot.