Ch 24
Sarge and Grif arrived in a warthog, and crashed into a tree. Sarge climbed out of the jeep and pointed his shotgun at Tucker and Wash, who in turn had their rifles pointed at him.
"You have the worst timing possible." Tucker said.
"Stow it. We're no longer fraternizing with the enemy." Sarge said.
"When he says we, imagine only him. Do not group us together." Grif said.
"Then why are you driving?" Six asked, aiming his rifle.
"And what the hell are you two doing?" Wash asked.
"Once again, not two just him." Grif said.
"You made me believe that red and blues could co-exist. That we could all get together and become a little purple." Sarge said.
"Insanity must have spread at red team. No wonder me and Simmons left." Six said, slinging his rifle.
"What the fuck is this about?" Wash asked.
"You kidnapped one of my men." Sarge said.
"He wasn't kidnapped, dipship. He defected. We can't get him to leave." Tucker said.
"Is this true, Simmons?" Sarge asked, lowering his shotgun.
"It's not your fault sir, it's Grifs." Simmons said.
"What did I do?" Grif asked.
"You're fucking disgusting, Grif!" Simmons said.
"I've always been like that. Sarge was the one who took half the base to himself." Grif pointed out.
"Then it is your fault." Simmons said to Sarge.
"That makes you a traitor!" Sarge said, hopping on the mini gun and pointed it at Simmons said.
"What!?" Simmons asked.
"Get behind me." Six said, pulling Simmons behind him, and aimed his rifle at Sarge.
"Threat level increased." Freckles said.
"No killing freckles." Caboose said.
"You deliberately joined the enemy." Sarge said.
"But if he wasn't kidnapped, that would mean we were never the enemy in the first place." Tucker pointed out.
"Don't try and confuse me with your words, shamrock." Sarge said.
"I'm aqua!" Tucker shouted.
"Tucker, calm down." Wash said.
"Me, these guys roll up in a fucking assault jeep and you choose to yell at me?" Tucker asked.
"Look, tensions are high…" Wash asked.
"That's an understatement." Six said under his breath.
"No shit, Washington. I'm tired of you bossing us around." Tucker said.
"Now, is not the time." Wash said.
"You know, now's the time." Tucker said.
"There's nothing to finish!" Wash shouted.
"You know, you're the worst thing to happen to blue team since blue boy decided to show up." Tucker said.
"You take that back, Wash is a great leader, I think." Simmons said.
"Blasphemy!" Sarge shouted.
"Deadly force, authorized." Freckles said.
"Seriously, I would rather follow Caboose into battle, than you." Tucker said.
"That's a bad idea." Six said.
"Then why don't we make him in charge?" Wash asked.
"I humbly accept your nomination." Caboose said.
"Shut up!" Wash and Tucker said.
"Do not talk back to your commanding officer." Freckles said.
"Oh shit." Six said, as he realized what would happen.
"Wash and I are having an argument. I will talk back to him. That's how arguments work, you fucking toaster." Tucker said.
"Washington is not the commanding officer. Captain Caboose, is now the commanding officer. Do not talk back to your commanding officer." Freckles said.
"Caboose is team leader? Fuck this." Simmons said, and he walked back to red team.
"Private Simmons, deserting your post is punishable by death." Freckles said.
"Sarge, now the blue team has kidnapped Simmons." Grif said.
"Then it's war!" Sarge shouted, aiming the minigun at Freckles.
"Say hello to robot satan, you mechanical son of a bitch!" Sarge shouted, as he charged the minigun, only for Freckles to unleash a barrage of rocket fire that destroyed the warthog.
"Sarge, are you okay?" Simmons asked.
"No, Simmons. Not until I have my revenge!" Sarge shouted, and proceeded to charge the robot on foot, with only his shotgun.
"Engaging target." Freckles said.
"Freckles, no!" Caboose said.
"Sarge, don't!" Wash shouted.
A lone gunshot got everyone's attention. They looked to the sound, and saw Donut.
"Man, you guys are really noisy." Donut said.
"Thank god, we're saved." Six said, as everyone ran to meet Donut.
"Donut, thank god you're here." Grif said.
"We were just about to kill each other." Sarge said.
"Speak for yourself." Tucker said.
"Where's the ship?" Wash asked.
"What ship?" Donut asked.
"The ship you came on, dumbass." Six said.
"Oh. Allow me to introduce, the rescue team." Donut said, showing everyone Doc.
"Doc?" Simmons asked.
"Wait. What is this?" Wash asked, his right eyebrow twitching.
"Donut told me you guys needed help." Doc said.
"So I got the best help money could buy." Donut said.
"You didn't pay me." Doc said.
"And I didn't tip the pilot." Donut said.
"What pilot?" Sarge asked.
"The pilot who dropped us off." Donut replied.
"Dropped you off?" Tucker asked.
"As in, he's not here anymore?" Grif asked.
"You've got to be fucking kidding me." Six said.
"So you're telling me, that you heard our distress call, grabbed doc, hopped on a ship, and then told the ship to leave, AND THAT'S YOUR IDEA OF SENDING HELP?!" Wash shouted, filled with rage.
"No. I brought Lopez." Donut said.
Lopez 2.0 looked at Lopez, who was a severed head.
"Kill him!" Sarge shouted.
Six approached Donut, and kicked in his rib cage, causing Donut to collapse and spit blood in his visor. Everyone joined in as they beat Donut with their feet, fists, and rifle butts.