A/N: Sorry for the delay. I had this ready to go n Friday, but I was rethinking some of the scenes. Let me know what you think! Thanks everyone for the reviews, follows, and likes. If you haven't - follow Captain Swan Big Bang on Tumblr - I am writing a story for that as well!
He had been dreaming about her for days. The way her bright golden hair haloed out around her head, when she was laid down on the pillow. The way her green eyes would come to life when she laughed with his family. The feel of her hand entwined in his - a smooth silk against his coarse callouses. The need to get back to Emma soon was stronger than it had ever been before. There were times in the last few years where he missed her, where he wanted to tell Liam he was done and was heading back home to her; yet the pull wasn't as strong as it was now.
They had been sailing for a week now. They had stopped off at the official Kingdom port before they were to set sail on a final secret mission for the King. The whole time, Killian was wondering if he should just give it up, just abandon the ship, and find his way back to Emma. The nights they had spent together had etched a permanent mark upon his heart. He knew he could never truly live without her. He had a plan in place already. They would make it through their six-month journey - he would write to her every day - and send them whenever he got the chance. Then, once they arrived back in port after this final journey, he would get down on one knee in front of everybody who arrived on the docks to see the ship pull in and ask Emma to become his wife. Their future was becoming clearer by the day, a summer wedding only a few days after he asked her the most important question of her life - because he knew he wouldn't be able to wait to make her his wife. They would go on a nice honeymoon for a month and then they would be back in town, where he would build them a home to raise their children.
"Look alive men!" he heard one of his men shout.
Another joined in "All hands on deck!"
Killian began to walk around the ship - taking into account that everything was in place. Liam had left the previous day to get the orders from the King, and was due back in a few minutes.
"The Captain is in transit with new orders from the King himself. Before his arrival, the ship will be swabbed from stern to stern, and…" he trailed off as he walked along the line of sailors that had lined up for the muster. He had stopped in front of one of the elderly men who worked on the ship. The man was enlisted, and nearing the end of his naval career - yet that isn't what caused Killian to stop. It was the bottle of rum that was not so hidden in his coat. Ever since Killian had stopped drinking after that night with Emma, Liam had been very adamant that alcohol was not allowed on their ship.
"Rum, sailor?" he questioned - the sailor nodded, with a sullen face, Killian continued, "Does anyone know what happens to sailors who drink rum?"
He waited for an answer from his crew - but all he heard was a chicken squawk.
"They get drunk, and drunkenness leads to bad form." he continued as he walked back along his crew, "If there is one thing that won't be tolerated aboard this ship, its bad form."
"My ship has never been in finer hands." he heard a voice from behind him - his brother was back with their orders.
"We stand ready to receive the King's orders," his quartermaster yelled as he stepped aboard the ship.
"To your stations lads!" Liam bellowed.
Quickly, everyone began to move. The crew was a well-oiled machine. They hadn't had a new member join in years and most of the men had been working together for longer than that - most of them were able to tell what the other sailors were going to do before they even did it. It was what made them the best ship in the King's Navy.
Liam walked up to the helm - followed closely by Killian. He had a large sack with him - one that he didn't have before his journey began. Liam could sense his brother's question.
"Ah, it's a gift to commemorate our last voyage - given to us by the King himself - to congratulate us on a job well done." he explained, pulling out a rather large satchel. Liam handed it to Killian.
"A sextant?" Killian asked. It seemed like such a random gift from the King. They were already provided these through the military - but this one was much nicer. Yet, something was different about it.
"Aye, but look closer little brother." Killian rolled his eyes at Liam's words, but pulled the sextant up to his face.
"I've never seen markings like these. To what strange land are we headed brother?" he questioned, as Liam moved to pull more items out of the bag he was carrying. The ship had taken off - moving through the water and leading him and his crew away from the shore. There went his last chance to make a run for it - for Emma. Yet, he was intrigued by what Liam had laid out before them.
"Take a look at these." Liam requested, motioning for Killian to take a look at the star charts he had laid before them.
"I've never seen these constellations before," he said, searching, but unable to find Cygnus or anything he was used to.
"No one has." Liam said, causing Killian to shoot his head up in a question. If no one has seen these, that meant…" yes, brother," Liam cut off his thinking, "We're going to a new land."
"A new land? Liam what is all this about?" Killian questioned.
"You'll see little brother, you'll see," he said, turning to yell at the crew, "Deploy the Pegasus!"
Killian had no bloody clue what his brother was rambling on about, until a large sail dropped down. It was beautiful - feathers completely covering the sail that was once there. Golden specks sparkled as the sun hit the feathers. It reminded him of Emma - how every so often the sun would catch her in the perfect spot, catching the highlights in her hair. Within seconds - the wind was whipping into the sails, and Killian could feel the ship begin to lift off the water. They were actually flying!
"Alright lads, set course lieutenant - second star to the right and straight on till morning!"
Emma had been pregnant almost nine months - she had gained almost thirty pounds, been sick all the time, had barley been sleeping (mostly because of the pregnancy, but also because she was scared to actually dream), and had lost most of her friends. Thankfully, her child - a boy they told her - was due any day. She would be giving him up for adoption.
It was a hard decision - but after talking with her mom, she knew she had to give this child his best chance, and she deserved her best chance too. So she was going to have this baby, give him to a wonderful family, and then head off to college to better her life. She would never be stuck in this situation ever again.
The past few days she had been running on only a few short hours of sleep - worry constantly flooding her system. She had told herself once she found out she was pregnant, that Killian and her seaside village were just made up - something to help her cope with the situation she found herself in. Ingrid kept pushing for information about who the father was, but Emma never answered her, always telling her it didn't matter. She knew she had sex with Killian in that dream, but there was no way that this baby could be his. It was fucking crazy to think that. So, instead, Emma tried to not dream of that place - pushing the thoughts to the back of her mind, in hopes that her child's real father would reveal himself to her. Maybe by not thinking of her fantasy, she would remember what happened in reality.
However, she couldn't push the dreams away forever.
She had fallen asleep on the couch - the only place she had been feeling comfortable the past few days.
Normally, when she entered her dream world, she would wake up somewhere. Yet this time, the next thing she knew, she was floating in the air. She felt the wind in her hair. It was like she was flying. And right alongside her was a ship she knew all too well.
The Jewel looked just as she remembered it. There was one rather large exception though - a new sail consisting of feathers made her raise an eyebrow. Looking down, it was then she realized that she really was flying. There was no water below her. She was also in normal clothing and her rather large baby bump was nowhere in sight. The sail whipped in the wind. As she moved around the boat, taking everything in, she heard the voice of someone she had been praying not to hear again.
"All hands brace for landing!" Killian shouted out.
Quickly she moved herself to where he was. He hadn't changed a bit - so time must have not passed too far. They must still be on their journey. His hair was a bit longer; a bit of scruff had formed on his chin. He looked good - as handsome as ever. As she landed next to him, she moved to touch him gently, not wanting to scare him by just appearing out of thin air. However, when she thought her hand would make contact with him, it just went straight through him.
Well that's new - she thought to herself.
This really is all a crazy dream - everything they had been through, all the moments they spent together, all the secrets they told, all the kisses they shared - were all a figment of her imagination. Maybe, if she was able to touch him - she could tell herself he was real again, yet now, everything was beginning to make sense. This all had to be a dream.
She was yanked from her thought when she heard a loud bang and someone cry out Killian's name. Emma's head whipped around - taking in the scene that lay before her. She hadn't noticed before that Liam was also on the bridge. He had been standing near the stairs. As soon as the ship hit the water, Liam collapsed and fell down the stairs.
"Liam?" Killian cried out in terror.
He rushed to his brother, with Emma following quickly on his heels. He rushed down the stairs, and bent down to pick Liam's head up and place it in his lap. Tears were streaming down her Lieutenant's face - his hands shaking as he tried to rouse Liam from whatever had happened. Liam's eyes were closed, and he didn't seem to be breathing.
"Liam!" Killian cried again, yet this time his voice cracked and the pain and heartbreak that was inside of him came flooding out. Emma wasn't sure what to do - she wasn't really here and this wasn't real life, yet the man she loved was hurting. His pain was tangible and all she wanted to do was pull him into her embrace and tell him that she loved him and everything would be OK. Yet she knew she couldn't touch him and it gutted her.
Still, she moved to sit down next to him. Sobs were raking through his body - cries of disbelief pouring out of his system. She knew she couldn't touch him, not really, but she still moved so that her arm wrapped around his shoulder. She stopped her body from moving through his, holding her arm right where it should have fit. And, as if he could feel her, he relaxed a bit and moved into the touch. She even thought she had heard him whisper her name, through their tears. Emma didn't realize she had been crying along with him.
They stayed like that for what seemed like hours. He held his brother like his life depended on it. He couldn't let go of one of the only constants in his life - without the only person who truly acted like a parent to him. He needed Liam almost as much as he needed Emma - without them he would be truly lost. She saw him move his eyesight from Liam to the sun that hung low in the sky. His stare was menacing and full of anger - she had never seen him look like that before, but she knew that whatever was going to happen next, no one stood a chance against him.
She watched as Killian moved about the deck, pure hatred being emitted from him. All the deckhands stood clear of him, as they readied Liam's body for burial. He was tied in a white sheet, and rested abroad a plank that was hung off the side of the ship. She walked over to where he lay and said a silent prayer for him. She had never been a religious person, but Liam was her brother - or at least would have been - if this were real life. And even if this was a figment of her imagination, she still loved him as if he were her brother.
Killian was the one to bury his brother at sea. With a tiding remark to take care of his bride and son, Killian moved the plank and slid his brother into the waiting darkened waters below.
"I love you brother," he whispered before he turned to face his crew.
Each one of them looked as angry as he did. Emma had listened to the conversations as Liam's burial was planned - and she couldn't believe what had happened in a few short days. They were betrayed both at home and in Neverland. The actions of a few had changed the views of the men who stood before her.
"This belongs to you now… Captain." one man said, stepping forward and giving Killian Liam's Captain's hat. Killian couldn't stop looking at the hat, yet couldn't take it either. He just shook his head in a small no.
He turned to look at her, or at least that is what it seemed like. She was standing between the railing and him, right where he had just said goodbye to Liam.
"We are sworn to serve the King and the realm. They sent us to retrieve an unthinkable poison, one that killed our dear Captain - my brother. Never again shall anyone set sail to that cursed land!" he exclaimed, moving to reach for a lantern that the crew had lit. He moved with such force towards the sail. The sail instantly caught fire when the flame touched it, and within a matter of moments, the sail was no longer there, and a tear had formed in Killian's eye as he watched it burn up in smoke.
He was so powerful - standing there on some boxes addressing his crew. The anger in him fuelling his monologue and profession to the crew.
"And never again shall we take such orders…" he cried out. Cheer of Ayes and Here, Heres echoed out around her. She smiled when she say how deeply his crew cared about him - how even when she wasn't with him, he had people who would support him.
"Serving the King, and fighting his wars!" his screams were haunting. "That is the way of dishonor! And all you who disagree flee now or walk the bloody plank! For those of you who stay, will be free men, and I will be your Captain."
Shouts of joy rang out. The men were ripping apart their uniforms, Killian shedding his Lieutenant's coat, leaving him in a dark black shirt and his leather pants. His fair was now sticking out, and his features were fierce. Right before her eyes, he changed.
"We'll sail under the crimson glad and we'll give our enemies no quarter! We'll take what we please! And we'll live by our own rules. For that is the best form of all!" he bellowed, as he jumped down into the fray.
"Our Kingdom is corrupt and immoral. They took my brother from me, took my nephew's father, and now I'm going to take everything they've got… Starting with this ship!" the power in his voice was something Emma had never experienced. She was in shock now. The Navy had been a dream of his, and in a moment, he gave all that up for revenge for his brother. The man standing before her was now a pirate; one that she knew would stop at nothing to avenge his brother. Yet, she wasn't scared, she was proud. It sounded silly to her, yet she was happy to see him standing up for his brother, for doing something about the injustice they faced.
"It's time we rename this vessel. We no longer sail as the Jewel of the Realm - we now sail as the Jolly Roger, and when they come for us, I want them to know exactly what we are… pirates! For at least among thieves, there is honor!" he finished to a round of applaud from the men.
"Long Live Captain Jones!" the crew was crying out as the ship was painted and the flag was burned.
"Men, prepare a course - we have one stop to make before we take the King!" he turned towards the man who Emma assumed was his first lieutenant now that he was Captain. She had seen the man before but never learned of his name.
"Sir, where are we going, what do we need to do?" he questioned.
"We are getting Emma, Daniels. We are getting my Swan, then we are taking the Kingdom."
Emma's mind was racing - he was going to actually sail to find her. He had never done that before. It seemed that fate was on their side every time they met. Killian never noticed her absence from their village because he was always gone for lengths at a time, and something had the townspeople believing she was never really gone. She never really thought about it - since it was all just one big dream, but she knew this time, if he went to find her, he would be let down.
She was able to picture it - him pulling into the docks and running through town to find her. If he found her, he would sweep her off her feet into a searing kiss, then quickly break down about his brother. Emma knew if she could, she would run with him - stand by his side for years. However, she knew that wasn't the situation they were going to find themselves in. Instead, he was going to search the town, but realize she was nowhere in sight. He would question everyone - only to get no answers on her whereabouts. He would fall further into depression and anger, and there was nothing that she could do to fix the situation they were about to enter.
She was able to stay in the dream longer this time - like the last. Five nights passed before they docked at the marina of the village. She could see his anger he held for his brother be replaced with the joy she saw whenever they were reunited. Yet, she was distraught at the thought that his joy would soon diminish when he wouldn't be able to find her.
Still she moved with him through town, hoping that somehow he would sense her presence and know that she was with him, even if she wasn't physically there. He searched everywhere, the fountain, the tavern, the bakery and almost every alleyway. He spoke with Sarah - his pain breaking through once again, as he held his brother's wife as she mourned the loss of her husband and the father of her son. She watched as he promised to send her help with the lad, promising that the King will pay for what he did - and her son would want for nothing. He promised to visit - so her son would remember who his family was.
It was after the tavern that he realized she wasn't there. He walked solemnly up to their clearing. She could feel the heaviness in his heart, feel the pain and suffering he was dealing with. He was strong for Sarah - never once crying or showing any emotion besides anger. Yet, when he walked into their clearing - everything fell away. All of the masks he was wearing disappeared and he was once again, the broken boy she once saw.
"Where are you?" he whispered to the wind. "Why aren't you here? I need you Emma. I need you now more than ever."
"I am here Killian. I am." she said back, knowing that he couldn't hear her, but knowing she needed to say it.
"I will find you Emma, no matter where you are, no matter how far I have to go, I will find you. I will always find you," he promised, looking out at the sea.
They were all so busy during the party later that night - especially Emma with defending her decision to invite Regina to the towns people - that no one noticed Killian slip outside for some fresh air. While he was having a wonderful time getting to know his son and getting to know Emma again - he really didn't fit in well with the group of people who surrounded them. The only person in there who would be able to understand him was Regina, as she wasn't fully accepted by the community due to her past.
Maybe hundreds of years ago, when he had Emma, Liam, and the Navy, he could have sat inside that diner, ate the food, and had a good time. Now though, he was bored out of his mind and annoyed with some of the patrons. He had been a pirate for far too long, and it was going to take some time to actually get used to being around people who didn't mind being ruled.
He was sitting in the darkness outside of the diner, on a white chair, being hidden by a large sign. He noticed someone limping by, a limp that seemed all too familiar to him.
He stood up quickly and began to follow the limp - who turned out to be exactly who Killian thought it was. Rumplestiltskin.
He was alone, walking along the streets of the town, it didn't seem as if he had a set destination, but Killian followed him nonetheless. He was going to figure out what the crocodile was up to. He was going to find out what he knew about Emma. And maybe he would be able to get his revenge on the man after all. They walked for twenty minutes or so, circling around the block a few times. Killian was sure that the man knew he was being followed, and that this was all part of the game.
Suddenly, the coward stopped. Killian was hiding in the shadows near a shop that said Pawn Shop. Gold turned around and swung his cane with a flourish - spinning it in a circle.
"Come on out Captain, I know you are there. I know you have questions for me - so why don't you step into the light." he cackled - sounding a bit different than his former self, yet still threatening.
Killian moved, so that he was placed under a streetlight. Rumplestiltskin finally came into view. He looked different in this realm. There were no scales covering his body, his hair trimmed a bit. He wore a suit, not his robes he used to wear. His eyes were gold anymore.
"Time's up crocodile. You know what happened to Emma, you know about our past, and about how she was able to travel to see me, and now you will tell me exactly what I want to know." he bellowed, nothing but hatred filled his voice - the last time he saw the crocodile, he taunted him about Emma, and took his hand for fun. This time, things would be different.
"And why would I do that dearie?" Gold asked, no fear in his voice.
"Because this time, I know how to kill you." Killian said with a smile, as he said one word that he knew would make the Dark One do his bidding.
Emma had noticed the absence of Killian's presence for a while now. She saw him out of the corner of her eyes leave the diner a few minutes after Regina arrived. At the time, she was too busy trying to quell a fight that was about to break out to worry about why he left. Now though, she was worried. It had been quite some time and he hadn't reappeared.
"I'll be right back. I'm going to find Killian," she told her mother quietly.
Once she was out in the chilly night air, with her red leather jacket wrapped perfectly around her chest, she knew she had to find him. Something was telling her that he was about to do something stupid. She couldn't put her finger on it, but there was something strange in the air.
She found him, or rather them, a few moments later, near Gold's shop. She was hidden inside the shadows - a ways back from the men, but close enough to hear what was being said. Anger filled her; Killian had promised he was done with Gold, done with his revenge. Yet, here they were, her pirate yelling at the man - demanding answers.
"Time's up crocodile. You know what happened to Emma, you know about our past, and about how she was able to travel to see me, and now you will tell me exactly what I want to know." he bellowed, nothing but hatred filled his voice. Emma remembered the last time she heard him speak that way - the day he became a pirate.
"And why would I do that dearie?" Gold asked, no fear in his voice.
"Because this time, I know how to kill you." Killian said with a smile, as he said one word that he knew would make the Dark One do his bidding.
Emma actually gasped a bit. She was furious now. He really was serious about his revenge, and he wasn't going to give it up simply for her or their son. If Gold didn't kill him, she may. He was putting everything at risk - all because the coward took his hand.
"My dear Captain, you can't kill me and you won't. You know that." Mr. Gold laughed at Killian's statement.
"You are right Dark One, I'm not going to kill you. I made a promise to Emma and to Henry that I wouldn't go any farther on this quest for revenge. Yet, I didn't promise them that I wouldn't try to get answers. And while it is true I won't kill you, I know that that lovely Librarian has captured your heart. And your heart breaking would be enough for me. Wouldn't be a shame for her to find out exactly what you were like all those years ago, how you took my hand simply because I knew that the savior. She probably wouldn't take kindly to the fact that you also murdered your wife and abandoned your son would she. What I do know is that losing the woman you love is a fate worse than death. So you will tell Emma what happened, why everything happened the way it did, with no lies or deceit. If you try anything or withhold anything, Belle will find out what you did." he growled.
Emma relaxed a bit - he wasn't going after Gold simply for revenge - he was going after Gold to get answers for her - for them. Yes, it was annoying and bit frustrating that he couldn't wait for her, that he was still using his grudge with the man as ammunition, yet she wasn't sure she was angry anymore. She would have threatened him the same way to get answers - in fact she was already planning it.
"So Dark One - what do you say, do we have a deal?" Killian questioned, moving closer to the man who had taken not only his hand, but his love as well. She could tell that Mr. Gold wasn't going to go along with the deal - the smirk on his face told her as such.
"Wait!" Emma yelled out, running to meet the men.
"Swan… what are you doing here." shame filled his face as he took her in from where she was still blanketed in the shadows.
"Looking for you," she explained, turning to look at Mr. Gold.
"Ah the savior, I see you have found your pirate, who was just threatening me. You know I don't take kindly to threats." Gold responded.
"You know something about us - we know you do. Why else would you have gone after Killian all those years ago? The way I see it, he is just repaying the threats you made once to him. So I see this going two ways - the first one is you accept his deal and let us know everything you know. Or two, you don't take the deal, but you can forget about that favor I owe you. It's your choice," she said.
"Fine, we have a deal pirate." he said, reaching out and shaking his hand. "But just remember Ms. Swan, no one ever breaks a deal with me - that includes your favor." he finished before walking into his shop and slamming the door.
Emma turned around and glared at Killian. Ok, so she was still mad that he would go after Gold. He promised her he would drop this, yet here he was threatening the man. It may not be killing, but his need for revenge and his anger towards the man was still there.
"You promised me Killian," she said, walking around him and back towards Granny's.
"Swan, wait." he raced after her, pulling her back towards him with his hook.
"I know I said I wouldn't go after him, but I just saw him and something inside of me snapped. We know he knows what happened, or at least he could tell us some answers. I couldn't let it slide anymore. He would have never told you anything on his own accord, so I did the only thing I knew I could do - threaten him." he pleaded, hoping that she would understand.
"You have to swear that you are done Killian. I mean it. I will not allow Henry to have a relationship with you if you cannot put this vengeance aside." she snarled at him.
"Love, please, I would never do anything to harm Henry. I just had to get answers, and this was the only way I know how. I am sorry, truly, but I swear to you, I won't go after Gold. I would have never killed him anyways. I couldn't do that, I promised you and Henry I wouldn't go after him, yet he had to know that he couldn't play with us. This isn't a game anymore - this is our family. What he did to me all those years ago, just because he heard me say your name, was part of his game, and I won't allow him to do anymore damage." he said, with nothing but sincerity in his voice.
She knew he was right. Gold would never talk to them on his own accord. He would require payment of a sort, and Killian had just done that. He made sure that Gold would talk to her. He put his own life on the line again, to protect her. She was sure of that - considering she knew Gold wouldn't stop at anything for the chance to rip Killian's heart out. Especially since she saw it almost happen all those years ago.
She had seen Killian turn to a life of piracy the last time she saw him. That was four years ago. Four long years. She had given her child, who was born with a full head of black hair and the greenest eyes she had ever seen, up for adoption. She thankfully got to hold him for a few minutes before he was whisked away to meet his family. He was perfect in every way. She knew in her heart that she was doing the right thing, but she was still sad to part with him.
Ingrid was in the delivery room with her, holding her hand as she gave birth to her son. The lights flickered on and off as Emma gave her final push and brought her son into the world. It was part of her agreement with the adoption agency out of Boston, where she and Ingrid had moved only a few weeks prior for Emma's college, that she wouldn't name the child. It was a closed adoption, which meant Emma was to never see or contact the child again - his birth records and everything else being sealed by the courts. Yet she still hoped that one-day, one-day far from now, he would find her again.
So that fatefully day four years ago, she gave up her son to give him and her their best chance. She had made the most of the four years - graduating early from University in criminal justice and immediately going to work for a bails bond agency in the city. Ingrid had moved back to Minnesota a few years prior, saying she missed the weather and that Emma needed to stand on her own two feet - to learn what it meant to be responsible.
Every year on her son's birthday, she would buy a cupcake and candles, light it and say a wish for her son - one that he was happy and healthy and would grow up to lead a normal and carefree life. She stayed away from alcohol most of the time - considering what happened the last time she drank, but tonight - on her son's fourth birthday, the bottle called to her.
She was missing him bad. She had been lonely recently, which wasn't hard to do considering she didn't have any friends and no family to speak of. She was alone in the world, but she wouldn't have been if she had been stronger and kept her son. So in her blanket of self-pity, she walked to the liquor store and bought a bottle of rum, took it home, did five shots and fall right asleep.
For the first time in four years, she dreamt of him again. After Henry was born, she requested to be put on sleeping medication, to help her sleep without dreaming, claiming horrible nightmares. Thankfully they kept the dreams at bay - something she would dream of the ocean or the village, but no one was ever there; she was alone with her thoughts. Yet, right after her shots, she forgot to take her medication, so the dreams came back.
She woke up in the familiar village. This time, she was sitting down by the docks - soaking up the late afternoon sun. It felt good. The calls of the gulls were soothing to her. The sounds of the waves hitting the rocks beneath were music to her ears. She never realized how much she missed those little things - the smell of the salt in the air, the colors of the flowers that grew near the fountain in the center of town. She finally opened her eyes, and noticed that she was in her PJs - silly Christmas themed PJs she wore all year long that were a present from Ingrid last Christmas. She stuck out like a sore thumb, but no one around her seemed to have noticed.
Maybe she was invisible like last time, maybe she wasn't really here again. She stood up and walked towards the tavern. The town didn't seem as busy as it once had been. Merchants were closing their doors earlier than normal, and the people seemed more skittish. As she entered the tavern she realized why everyone and everything seemed different. Pirates.
Taking one look around, she could tell the place had significantly changed. The tavern was darker and meaner now. The ale was stronger and there were more spirits than before. There was a burly man behind the counter who she had never seen before. Men were drinking all around, with women sitting on their laps, whispering into their ears. The sounds of laugher and music was too loud, and bled out into the streets. She couldn't locate Sarah at all. Yet, she did see a familiar face stuck back in the corner of the room.
It was their table - the one where the family would always sit. The man sat alone, covered in darkness, but Emma knew in an instant, that Killian was sitting there. He was lonely in the booth - his eyes trained on the door, waiting patiently for someone. It made Emma feel a bit better, knowing there was no wench on his lap, yet it pained her that he was alone. He needed people.
She moved to sit with him. She could see his body change as she sat down next to him. She knew he couldn't see her, but maybe, like that time when Liam died, he could sense her. It was as she sat down that she realized he was drunk, not drunk enough to pass out, but drunk enough to know his inhibitions were lowered.
"Hi Killian, I've missed you." she whispered. She had missed him. Sure, she had pretty much come to the realization that he was a dream and that he was her mind's way of blocking out painful memories, but she missed the way she felt when she used to dream about him. She missed his smell, which she swore she could still sometimes smell in the late hours of the morning. She missed his laugh, his smile, the way he made her feel safe.
A man came walking through the door of the tavern, causing Killian to sit up a bit more straight, waiting for the man to walk over to him.
"Captain, I think we've found what we've been looking for!" the man squeaked. He was a short, fat, balding man who wore a red cap.
"You got the bean then?" he asked the man.
"Well not yet actually, but we know where it is. The Crocodile has it - the Dark One. He has a working bean," the man added, looking more terrified than excited.
"Perfect. Than we will take the bean and continue our search." Killian said with a growl in his voice.
"But why Captain?" she could see the man regret in an instant his decision to question the Captain. He ducked a bit - moving out of arms reach for Killian.
"Because, I will stop at nothing to find her." Killian spoke softly, but with a tone that said the man shouldn't question him.
"We've been looking for 10 years sir, maybe she can't be found," the man said.
Emma's head was spinning. Was it wrong for her to assume that they meant they had spent 10 years looking for her? The last time she saw him, they were in the clearing where he was declaring he would find her. Could he really still mean her?
"And we will spend the rest of our lives looking for her if we have to. She is my savior Smee - don't you understand. Emma is the savior - and even if it means I lose my life along the way, I will not stop fighting to find her." he declared, and Emma's heart grew. He kept his promise. She knew it was stupid, but she was so happy he was still trying to find her.
"But Captain…" Smee began, before he was cut off with a bang on the table by Killian's hand.
"But nothing Smee. The crew is happy - we rob every ship we cross and we sail under no flag. They don't care about the end mission. So neither should you, savvy? We will find Emma. We've searched every kingdom in this realm, which means only one thing. She isn't in this realm, and that bean will help us get to the next one." he explained, motioning for Smee to move and leave.
He took the last swig of his drink and made his way past his crew; he was halfway to the door when the barkeep stopped him.
"Captain, Sarah is requesting you." he said, in a rather high pitched voice for someone so large.
"Aye. Thank you Gunther." he turned and walked back into the family area.
So Sarah was still alive. It had been ten years since she had seen Killian last, and so much had changed. She finally took him in fully. He was wearing all leather - tight leather. It suited him actually. He looked better in that leather than he ever did in his uniform. He had cut his hair - which was short, but had personality. His beard was more full now. His eyes accented with kohl - bringing out the blue in them. He had rings covering almost every finger - except Liam's. She wondered what happened to it. He had given it to her all those years ago, but she had never found it and it hadn't been seen again since.
As they walked into the family room in the back of the tavern, Emma saw Sarah lying on a bed with her son sitting next to her. Clearly she was sick. She was pale and sweat was covering her skin.
"Sister, nephew, how are you?" Killian said, with at least some form of caring in his voice - it just wasn't as deep as it once had been.
"Charlie, please go wait in your room." Sarah said in a weak voice to her son - who was almost a splitting image of Liam.
"Killian, I don't have much time." she said, closing her eyes, trying to ward off the tears that were now falling.
"Don't say that Sarah, you'll beat this." Killian added, with actual sympathy this time, moving to take her hand in his as he sat on the chair that Charlie had been occupying.
"Thank you for coming back so soon. I know you just left, but I need you to take Charlie, I need you to care for him. Please Killian, he doesn't have anyone else." she begged, Emma's eyes filling with tears as she heard her friend plead with him.
"A pirate ship is no place for a boy love," he countered.
"Please Killian, he can't be left alone," she pleaded, yet she could see it in Killian's eyes - he wouldn't be taking his nephew with him.
"I will leave Smee here for the time being, to watch the boy if anything should happen to you. We will make sure he is cared for - you know the crew loves him, but we can't take him. Not now." he explained, trying to make his sister in law see reason.
"Why? Why can't he come with you? He's ten - which was the age Liam was when he first was put on a ship," she asked.
"That was different and you know it Sarah. We were forced onto that ship. No child should have to live on the ship - beside, we are about to embark on a mission that will be difficult - I won't put him at risk." he countered.
"What are you planning Killian?" she coughed, sitting up with a worried expression on her face.
"We found a way to find Emma. We know where a bean is - I have some additional magic to help us locate her. But the bean is with the Dark One, so it will be dangerous, and we can't take Charlie with us." he said, hanging his head. He was choosing Emma over his nephew.
"Killian, it's been ten years. She's gone. No one has seen her since the day you left. We don't know where she went. She walked me back home and then disappeared. She's gone Killian; you need to give it up. Maybe she doesn't want to be found," she pleaded with him. Emma could tell it was a fight they had been having for years.
"No!" he shouted, "I won't give up on her. We will find her, I will make things right. And once I find her, we will came back and care for Charlie - I promise you. But for now, you have to trust me. Having Charlie here with Smee is the best solution."
Emma ran from the room with tears in her eyes, he was still searching for her, and his pain from her disappearance was so evident. She couldn't bear that she was putting him through so much pain. She couldn't handle the guilt. She should have ended their relationship ages ago - before things got this far. She was ruining his life, even though it wasn't real.
She saw Killian exit the family room and leave the tavern through the backdoor. She followed quickly, but what she found was horrible.
A sparkly man was standing in front of Killian, a smirk on his scaly face. He sparkled Gold, but his skin was green. He was short, but held his stature well. He was dressed in fine robes, and his voice pitched high.
"Captain Jones, thinking of paying me a visit?" the man questioned. So this must be the crocodile. Emma had heard of him in passing when she had visited - the man wielded dark magic and looked like a crocodile, so that is what they called him. Supposedly saying his name was bad luck, so she didn't even know what it was.
"Crocodile." was all she heard Killian sneer.
"Ah… it's always nice to make an impression. Where are my manners?" the Dark One giggled. "We haven't been properly introduced. Rumplestiltskin - or as others know me - the Dark One." he finished with a bow.
"I know who you are." Killian said through gritted teeth.
"Good! That's going to save us time during the, uh, question and answer portion of our game." the man had style, that was for sure. He was theatrical in his movements as he studied Killian and spoke. It was if the world was a stage and the Dark One was the best entertainer.
"What is it that you want to know?" Killian's hand moved to sit on his sword, readying himself for a fight. She could feel the anger pulse through him, she felt his need for blood - yet she wasn't quite sure why.
"What do you know of the savior? He questioned, looking at Emma, almost as if he could see her, yet she knew he looked right through her.
"I don't know what or who you are talking about Dark One." Killian replied.
"I think you do Captain. You talk of her often - so what do you know - where is she?" the man propped.
"I have no bloody idea of what you are rambling on about!" he yelled, frustrated with the questioning.
"Ah - so why then do you want this?" the Dark One said, pulling out a sparkling mass from his pocket.
"To find someone I lost." was all he replied, moving his stance so that he was prepared to attack. As if Emma knew what was going on in his mind - she knew what he was planning. Killian had proof the bean was in his possession and he was going to stop at nothing to get it. He would tear his way through the man in order to get that bean. In that moment, Emma wished so hard that she was visible - to be able to tell Killian this was all just a fantasy - nothing was real. She couldn't bear to see the carnage that would be left over after this fight.
"Sorry, dearie, but that just isn't in the cards for you." he laughed, and as he did Killian drew his sword - preparing for the duel.
However, the second the sword was drawn, it was missing from his hand and so was the Dark One. A whistle rang out from behind them. Whipping their heads around, she saw the man holding Killian's sword, which as she looked closer; she realized was Liam's, and a smile on his face.
"Sorry, but killing a man with his own sword was just too delicious to pass up." he smirked, as he slid another sword towards Killian, preparing to fight.
The duel started quickly, the clang of Killian's sword hitting the one the Dark One was using rang out in the night. Emma had never heard a gunshot before, but she would have to say that this sound was louder and worse than one. The reflections of the street lamps were dancing on the swords and they dueled. Killian's footwork was amazing - he was constantly dodging whatever the Dark One threw at him, but she could tell he was already getting winded. Killian was young, but the Dark One had magic, which Emma knew he was using. She could feel the pulse of it spreading out from the man. There was no way that Killian would be able to win this duel - it wasn't a fair fight.
Rumplestiltskin backed Killian up against some boxes, causing him to get the upper hand as Killian tripped and fell onto the concrete. Emma rushed to his side, not worried about getting in the way - if she couldn't touch them, then nothing here could touch her. She wasn't about to leave his side now - especially when it looked like the end.
The last thing she remembered was throwing her body on top of Killian's - before everything went dark.
That was the last time she ever dreamt of Killian. The last night she thought she would ever see him.
She didn't know where Killian spent the night - she assumed on the Jolly. After his apology for approaching the Dark One, she walked with him back to Granny's where the party was still going on. However, a few moments later, he was gone again. Henry said that he said goodnight and would meet them all in the morning to talk with Gold. Emma had mixed feelings about that - on one hand, she hoped he was sulking somewhere, upset with himself for going back on his promise a bit, but on the other hand, she was upset he left without saying goodbye. She had to remind herself a few times that they weren't dating, and he did say goodbye to their son, which was something.
True to his word, he was waiting for them when they all awoke the next morning. Emma had gone out to get the paper and there he was - black leather and all - waiting on the stairs of the loft for them to awake.
He was silent through most of the breakfast that her mother had made them. Well, he was quiet towards her. He spoke with Henry - about the differences of breakfast food here, about the Jolly, about life in the Enchanted Forest, and how he once fought off an attack from a mermaid. Henry was enthralled, but Emma wasn't impressed. Something was eating at her - there was something up with Killian.
Henry was off to school - per request of Regina and Emma - he had missed too much when Emma was gone, and since they were going to be spending the day talking to the Dark One, there was no point in Henry tagging along. Emma wanted to keep him far away from that man as possible. Something in the back of her mind told her she could trust Cora more than she could trust Mr. Gold.
"Morning." she said, as she fell into step with him as they walked to Gold's.
"Morning Swan." he responded, rather curtly.
"Wait, Killian. What's going on? What happened last night?" she questioned, pulling his arm with hers, to stop his progression down the street.
"It's nothing, I spent the night on the Jolly, that is my home after all," he explained.
"Killian, you could have told me. I was worried. Henry said you left, but didn't say where," she countered.
"Sorry Swan, I just didn't think you wanted my company - after the issue with Gold. I just thought it be best for me to distance myself a bit." he added.
"Listen, yes, I was mad you went behind my back and confronted Gold. Yes, I was mad that you threatened him after you told me you were done with him. But, I understand it. You wanted answers, and you've dealt with him before. I am not quite sure what happened between you two - I remember dreaming of the two of you dueling, but I woke up before anything really happened. But, you have to put that aside, for us. Please." she asked - needing him to understand that while she gets what he did, he needs to stop for their sake - and Henry's.
"What do you mean?" he asked, with a cock of his head.
"The last time I ever dreamt of you, you were dueling with Gold. He had asked about the savior. He took your sword and dueled with you, but the last thing I remember, he was above you, while you lay on the ground. What happened?" there were so many questions going on in her mind. How was any of this even possible? Her head had been hurting constantly for days, trying to figure out how any of this was possible.
"Ah, well, the Crocodile had me pinned down, yet when he went to swing his sword, something blew him back. The sword stopped only inches above me. It was like I had a protection spell on me. He flew back and I rushed to collect the bean that had spilled from his hand. However, the Crocodile was quick too. We were both back standing up when he began to yell at me about finding the savior and how was it I knew her. Nothing made sense to me - until now. He was angry and wanted to bean back - so he cut my hand off - thinking the bean was in it - when in reality, I swapped it and hid it away. I used the bean to get to Neverland soon after that - somewhere I knew the Dark One couldn't follow me." he explained.
"I am still not really following." she said, confusion clouding her brain.
"He was after you Emma." he began, "I had called you my savior many times, not realizing that he was listening to the realm for those words. I am not really sure why, but he was after you."
"How do you know," she questioned.
"I figured it out last night - after I spoke with you. I was walking back to the Jolly when I remembered something Cora had said. She had mentioned that the Dark One had helped Regina get to this realm, but he needed a failsafe - he needed the savior. I didn't realize she meant you, until now." he added.
Emma was furious. It was like this man couldn't and wouldn't leave her alone. Everything he did seemed to revolve around the savior, thus revolved around her. She was tired of it. That man owed her answers - since he did all of this - because of her.