Unhealed Wounds

Harry was awakened by a loud scream and looked around in bewilderment. He listened and then jerked violently as a second scream echoed through the silence. Draco? Was that Draco?

Worried, Harry scrambled out of his bed. Before he reached the door, though, he heard footsteps running up the stairs and down the corridor. He paused as he heard Lucius calling his son. Feeling like an intruder, Harry lowered his hand from the doorknob and wondered what he should do now.

He heard Lucius and Draco talking but couldn't make out any words. Unsure, he stood in the middle of his room. But then he remembered Draco had been at his side as he, Harry, had a nightmare, too. So, carefully, he stepped out of his room and walked over to Draco's door. It was slightly ajar and a soft orange glow could be seen, coming from inside the room.

Harry was about to enter when Draco's words froze him in place.

oxo

"He takes so much of your time."

"I know, my Dragon. Harry needs a lot of reassuring and help right now. With time it will get better. However, rest assured I will always have time for you, too. Never think I have no time for you. You are still very important to me," Lucius reassured while hugging his son sitting on his lap.

"I thought... I don't know... I felt left out. You didn't even react after the stunt in Diagon Alley. You used to spank me if I did something like that, but you didn't even really scold us. I mean, I knew you wouldn't blame Harry... but you didn't punish me either. It's... it's not that I like being punished but... I don't know... it felt as if I weren't important enough any longer."

Lucius was stunned. Draco had been expecting punishment? Well, he couldn't really blame his son. He was right, just some weeks ago Draco would have earned himself a trip over Lucius' knee but Harry had changed Lucius' perspective on this matter. Harry had changed a lot of habits. No wonder Draco felt lost.

"I'm sorry, Dragon. I know a lot has changed since Harry came here. These changes have been necessary for Harry's well-being. I admit, I never considered what they would mean for you. I wasn't really aware that the changes are affecting you, too. Now I understand why you felt so overlooked when I told you I needed to talk with Harry in private."

"It hurt me. 'specially because you barely have time for anything else beside your work. What are you working on anyway?" Draco asked accusingly.

Lucius grimaced while he admitted: "Harry's birthday party, the hearing of the Dursleys and Harry's adoption."

Draco's eyes widened. So... Harry again. He tried to stand up, but Lucius didn't let go of him. "No, Draco, listen. I will spend time with you. As you know, Harry is with Severus in the morning. We can do something together then, okay?"

"Really?" Draco asked unsure.

"I promise you, I will spend the morning with you. I love you and I'm sorry, I didn't realise how hard it was for you. Please, let me know whenever you struggle with any changes in the future, will you?"

At these words Draco hugged his dad and nodded into his shoulder. "Okay. I love you, too."

"Do you think you will be able to sleep now?"

"Will you stay with me until I fall asleep?" Draco asked and Lucius couldn't deny him his wish. He nodded with a smile and helped his son back into bed.

Oxo

Carefully, without making any noise, Harry retreated, sure that Draco didn't want to see him right now.

He felt really bad. He was stealing Draco's dad and he was stealing Lucius' time. Feeling miserable, he entered his room only to lock eyes with Mr. Paw, who obviously had woken up in the meantime.

With a sad smile he sat down on his bed and hugged the white cat to his chest. "Oh, Mr. Paw. What shall I do? Why am I so much trouble?"

The white cat started to purr and Harry felt better immediately. And then an idea struck Harry. "It's time to give Draco something back for you, Mr. Paw. Tomorrow," so Harry resolved, "tomorrow I will work out how to repay Draco for giving me you."

With this thought, Harry fell back asleep with a small smile on his face.

He never noticed when Lucius went to check on him, or when said man sighed in relief as he saw Harry sleeping peacefully with Mr. Paw resting next to his head.

Oxoxo

The next morning at breakfast both boys were unusually quiet. Draco looked introverted and Harry seemed to be very determined. The black-blond-haired boy had a thoughtful expression and frowned every now and then as if he was pondering over something.

"Are you okay, Harry?" Lucius finally asked.

The boy looked up and smiled. "Yes." And with that he went back to eating.

After breakfast he waved goodbye to Draco and Lucius and flooed over to Professor Snape.

There, he stopped dead. On the sofa sat a woman with dark brown, curly hair, drinking tea and reading the Daily Prophet.

'Wrong fireplace!' Harry though in a panic and was about to turn around.

"Hello. You must be Harry. Severus told me you would come. Come and sit with me, he will be back in a bit."

Harry frowned deeply, not moving an inch. Who the hell is this woman and what is she doing here?

"Don't worry, I don't bite. I'm Melinda by the way. I'm a good friend of Severus'."

"I have never heard about you," Harry said, still confused. Where is Severus? Surly he wouldn't leave me with a stranger?

"I would be surprised if you had. He prefers to pretend I don't exist," Melinda said while shrugging a shoulder.

"Oh?" the boy said and carefully came nearer. "So... erm... what are you doing here? Visiting?"

Melinda smiled warmly. "That is at least what he would like you to believe."

Harry's eyes widen. "So... why are you here then?"

"I'm here to meet you," the woman explained, still smiling.

"Me? Why?" Harry asked, getting nervous. What the hell is going on here?

"To see if you need help."

"Help?"

Melinda nodded. "Yes. You see, I'm working with children who have lived through a hard time and struggle with their lives."

At that Harry wrinkled his nose. "So you are... what? A psychotherapist?"

Melinda chuckled at Harry's face but then explained with a soft voice: "I prefer the term mind healer."

Harry still didn't understand what was going on. Was he really so much trouble that Severus gave him up already? He had the impression the man was doing a great job.

"I guess I know what you are thinking," Melinda interrupted Harry's thoughts. "I have seen the same reaction on many faces already. But before you start to feel betrayed or forced into something you don't want, let me tell you this: You must be very important to Severus. He is not a man who asks for help easily. He prefers to solve things himself. The fact that he asked me to come here and meet you tells me that he is worried he might do something wrong. People only worry about someone who is really important to them."

Harry wrapped his arms protectively around himself and hung his head, thinking about Melinda's words. Then he looked up and asked: "Why didn't he warn me you were coming?"

Melinda shrugged her shoulders with an apologetic look. "He most likely feared you wouldn't agree to meet me, or would feel forced to meet me out of duty. He even asked me not to tell you who I am, but if you really want to work together with me, then I think it is important to be truthful to each other from the start."

"You sound like I have a choice," Harry said sceptically.

"Because it is up to you. I am just an option you can choose, or not. Severus is still here for you and if you feel you can open up to him better than to anyone else, then that is okay; but sometimes people prefer to talk to someone who is unbiased," Melinda explained.

Harry still looked sceptical. He didn't know what to think about all this. "But... what would we talk about?"

"Whatever you want," came the reply.

Harry arched an eyebrow at this. "So we can also just talk about the weather?"

Melinda's eyes twinkled in amusement. "If you feel like it."

"And if I don't want to talk about anything?" Harry asked, not amused at all.

Melinda shrugged her shoulders. "You don't have to."

"But obviously Severus expects me to talk to you," Harry pointed out.

At that, Melinda frowned and explained: "No, Severus wants you to get to know me."

Harry scratched the back of his neck while he said, "But he called you here, so it is clear that he wants me to work with you."

Melinda returned his smile. "Yes, he hopes you will take this chance. But really... You are not forced to. You can say no."

Harry sighed, overwhelmed. "How can I say no? I'm obviously too much trouble for him to handle."

Melinda's smile vanished once again to make place for a frown. "You are not too much trouble. Never think that. You went through events Severus hasn't and therefore he has no experience in that matter."

"And you have?" Harry snapped back, getting annoyed.

If Melinda was hurt by his outburst she didn't show it. She replied in a still friendly tone: "No, I have no personal experience, but I learned a lot about the psyche of humans and I'm still learning whenever I work with a child. Every child is unique, as are the difficulties they are facing in life. So I'm confident that I can help you."

"And you healed them... the other children? You healed them all?"

Melinda fixed the boy with a serious expression and explained: "What I do is more a kind of coaching. I show you ways to handle situations that cause you stress or fear or despair. But to answer your question: Till now I was able to help all of the children I worked with."

Harry crossed his arms over his chest considering everything that had been said.

"Do you have any question about me?" Melinda asked after several minutes of silence.

The boy looked up again. "May I ask whatever I want?"

This caused Melinda to laugh out loud. "Well, you may ask whatever you want, but I can't guarantee that I will answer you."

Harry gave her a half-smile. "Fair enough." Sighing, Harry finally sat down and looked thoughtfully at the strange woman. Then he asked: "How did you get to know Severus?"

"I met him at a potions conference in Milan. At the time Severus was working on mind potions. After his big success with the Wolfsbane Potion enabling a werewolf to keep their mind while in wolf form, he conducted further studies in this area. Anti-Stress Potions, Calming Potions, Mind Clearing Potions, things like that. He was so ambitious in his work, I was fascinated by him.

"We became friends but he always kept his distance. I was irritated by that but one day he told me that he wasn't ready for more. Shortly after that he went to America for a year and since then I haven't heard or seen much of him. I admit, I was surprised that he contacted me now."

"I'm also surprised that he tolerates me now," Harry admitted.

"What do you mean?" Melinda looked surprised.

"Well, when I started school, he hated me. I always wondered why. I believed he hated me because of my fame, even though I hate my fame to no end. Now I know I look too much like my father and he obviously mistook me for him."

This time Melinda frowned. "That must have been very hard for you."

Harry shrugged his shoulders. "Not really. I'm used to getting a raw deal. My relatives did that all the time."

"Be that as it may, you can't tell me that it didn't hurt you," Melinda pointed out in a very gentle voice.

Again, Harry shrugged and then hung his head. "It doesn't matter any longer," he finally whispered, "he changed. He is very nice to me now. He understands me even better than Dad, I mean, Lucius."

"Believe me, Harry. It does matter. Everything you lived through does matter, because that made you the person you are now."

"And what person am I?" Harry wondered.

Melinda got a serious face once again as she explained: "You are a warrior and like most warriors you have wounds. The wounds on the outside heal easily, but the wounds on the inside don't, because they are unseen, but there nevertheless. Sometimes they heal on their own with time and sometimes they don't heal at all; still they change us, in the way we are and act. But the worst is, they are easily reopened. That's why many people build walls around their most sensitive part. It's not healthy though. Do you know why?" Melinda asked.

Harry was a bit overwhelmed, but he gave it some thought and finally asked: "Because you get heartless and cold?"

"Hmm... that may happen but I mean something else."

After Harry thought a bit more about it without getting an idea, he shook his head.

"Nothing can really heal behind the wall and when the wall breaks down someday, then the pain will hit you with full force. So, why am I telling you that?"

Harry wrinkled his nose. "You think, I have built up a wall?"

With a soft smile, Melinda nodded. "Yes. I'm sure of it. You accepted the abuse you went through as something that can't be helped. You do not fight it any longer. I'm convinced that you did, once, but you most likely got hurt more in the process and so you built up a wall. On the outside, it seems you have given up, but inside you are hiding and protecting the area where you are hurt. When I work with children like you, I try to gently take the wall down and heal or at least make it better and I teach you to resist the urge to rebuild the wall. The desired outcome will be that you are more at peace with yourself, your emotions will not take over your body and you can control your magic better."

Harry's eyes were big now. "You mean, I will get the accidental magic back under control?"

"It will not happen overnight. Taking down walls is a painful experience. Like a plaster you tear off a still open wound," Melinda cautioned. "But yes."

"Ouch." Harry grimaced at that.

"Yes, ouch indeed. So what do you think?"

Harry ran his hand through his hair and then scratched his neck in uncertainty. If he spent time with Severus and Melinda, it would give Draco more alone-time with his father. And if Melinda could really help him control his magic, he would also be less trouble for Lucius and Severus. It saddened him a bit that he was obviously too much for anyone to handle, to the point where he needed a mind healer; but he definitely didn't want to be more trouble than necessary.

"Okay, so how are we doing this?" he finally agreed.

Melinda wasn't fooled by Harry's words. She knew, the boy agreed to this for the wrong reasons. On the other hand she also knew, that Harry would really benefit from meeting with her. This boy in front of her was badly wounded and the public pressure that no doubt lay on his shoulders didn't help either. It would take a while until Harry would open up to her completely, and even longer until Harry realized that nothing of this was his fault; but she really wanted to try to help this young man.

"We will meet each other twice a week for a start. If you need me outside of these meetings, I can come over whenever need be. I usually only work with one client at a time, that allows me to fully focus on you and your needs."

Harry bit his lip and nodded. "And where?"

"We can meet each other either here or at your place," Melinda said.

"So Lucius is also aware of this?" Harry asked, somewhat hurt.

"No," came the reply from the doorway, "Lucius just knows that I planned this. He isn't aware that you are seeing Melinda today. Even I didn't think that she would respond to my request that soon." Severus entered the room and walked over to Harry and Melinda.

Harry stood and looked at Severus accusingly. "Why didn't you tell me? I know I'm a lot of trouble, but you could have explained to me that you knew someone who can help. There was no reason to keep this a secret."

Severus sighed. "You are no trouble, I told you that yesterday. I just believe that Melinda can help you better. She has a lot of experience with abused children."

Harry cringed at these words but Severus went on: "I know, you don't want to hear it but that is what you are. You are-"

"Severus," Melinda cut the man off and shook her head.

Harry still looked unhappy. "You should have told me," he whispered.

"I... yes, maybe you are right. I'm sorry. It's just, I only had the idea after your accidental magic outburst yesterday. I have felt so helpless as I stood in front of your door and was unable to enter. Your screams cut through my heart. I was afraid... I..." Severus shook his head, unable to express the horror in words, that he lived through the day before.

"But you did help me..." Harry whispered with glittering tears in his eyes he refused to let fall. "Your voice helped me to calm down. You words... they made sense to me... I mean, I understand now why Aunt Petunia never liked me."

Severus smiled at that and then wrapped his arms around Harry, who snuggled into the embrace immediately.

Melinda watched and frowned as she saw the pain in Severus' eyes. It was obvious that the man also carried around unhealed wounds but it looked like Harry and Severus were helping each other at least to some degree.