Well I just woke up after watching the episode online at 3am and I wrote this... please like it :D (Prepare for more Destiel!)
12X03 THE FOUNDRY - CODA
The Right Thing to Do
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"I love you both," she told them, took John's journal and put it into her duffle bag and left. That was it. No more breakfasts together, no more family hunting trip. At least for a while. She needed time to adjust to the future, and being around her two grown sons, who were practically strangers to her, wasn't really helping.
She closed the door to the bunker, and bumped into Castiel. "Castiel," she smiled at him. The smile didn't reach her eyes though and he noticed.
"Mary?" He narrowed his eyes and looked at the bag in her hands. "Where are you going?"
Mary sighed and looked down, closing her eyes. "I'm leaving," she told him as she looked up again. She couldn't stop the tears in her eyes, but she tried her best to not let them fall. "You were right. I don't fit in there, it's not my home."
"I didn't say that," Cas cocked his head to one side. "But I... I understand." He added.
"Thank you," she smiled again and took a step closer, hesitating before she put her free hand around Castiel's shoulders and squeezed gently. Cas patted Mary's back, just like Dean always did and smiled when she pulled away.
"Will you come back?" He asked. He knew Sam and Dean would be devastated once he returned to the bunker.
"I will, I just... I need more time." She sighed. Castiel nodded and she brushed away her tears with her thumb, nodding as well. "Goodbye," she said and finally continued walking away. Away from the bunker, their sons' home and their friend, away from the hunting life. Away from her sons. Her family.
"Castiel?" She turned around one last time and was glad to find him still standing before the door. He turned around to look at her.
"Yes?"
"Can I... borrow your truck?" She asked. "I'll leave it in the nearest town, uh... by the first motel, in the parking lot."
"Of course," he nodded. "I'll find it there."
"Thank you," she thanked him for the second time, and without looking back again, she opened the door and got into the car. Then she drove away, trying to stop the tears and remember that she still had more than half of her husband's journal to go through, and according to what she's read so far, she couldn't read it with her boys in the next room.
Castiel watched as the truck disappeared in the distance, and then he turned to the door, finally opening it. He feared what he would find inside. Sam didn't get as much time as Dean did to bond with his mother, but he never really knew her.
Dean on the other hand, had just gotten his mother back after years and years of having only faded photos and memories. Castiel found him in the kitchen the day before, late in the night. He wasn't drunk, but he had drunk more then he usually did and Castiel knew right from the first second that something was wrong.
Dean refused to talk about it, but from the look on his face and the photos in his hand, Castiel didn't even have to guess. Mary was different from the memory Dean cherished for so many years. She was her own person, with favorite things and things she didn't like, with opinions and skills, and she didn't cook.
Castiel sighed as he closed the door behind him and slowly went down the stairs.
He could see Sam, just standing there in silence with his head down and shoulders slumped. He turned around and looked at Castiel, and his face was so sad that Cas feared what state Dean would be in once he approached him. But Sam didn't care about himself in this moment, he just faked a smile for Cas and looked at Dean, then back at Cas and nodded, leaving the room without another word.
And Cas didn't know if he was glad for that, but he knew Dean would be there for Sam later. Cas was never good at comforting two Winchesters at once, he and Dean had a more profound bond after all. Castiel would be there for Dean, and then if it was needed, he would be there for Sam too.
But now it was only Castiel and Dean in the room.
Cas slowly approached the older Winchester, taking in how he looked like. His eyes were closed and his lips were tightly pressed together and he was supporting himself with one hand on the table. He frowned in pain and Castiel knew what was coming.
"Dean," he said his name, coming closer, and suddenly Dean opened his eyes and took a deep breath and looked up at him, erasing every apparent sign of his weakness. But Castiel knew Dean, and he knew what he was feeling right now. "Dean," he said again, softly, and finally closed the distance between them. He didn't embrace him though, he wasn't sure if that was what Dean wanted.
But then Dean's eyes sparkled with tears and a silent sob escaped him. "Cas," he whispered brokenly and Castiel didn't hesitate to throw his arms around Dean this time. He held him tightly, letting him burrow his head in his shoulder and close his eyes.
"She left us again, Cas." Dean told him. "Why does everyone I love leave me?"
"That is not true, Dean." Castiel tried, well aware of the fact that he left Dean to hunt Lucifer alone and that he didn't even call them when he was sure it was him.
"You left," Dean said. "Mom left, everyone leaves. I'm not good enough for any of you, Cas. You shouldn't even be here, doing this, I don't deserve it." Dean mumbled into his shoulder and Castiel tensed, squeezing Dean more tightly.
"Dean, you deserve everything in the world." He pulled him away, still holding his shoulders, and looked into his teary green eyes. "You are enough, and so is Sam. And your mother will come back, she just needs time to adjust and to stop thinking about the past." He explained.
Dean nodded, taking a deep breath and closing his eyes. A tear slipped away and rolled down his cheek, but Cas caught it with his thumb. Dean looked up at him when he felt his touch on his face and slowly and hesitantly leaned forward and pressed his forehead against Castiel's, closing his eyes again. Cas closed his eyes as well and took a deep breath, letting his hands fall from Dean's shoulders to his elbows and then to his hands, unsure if he should do anything more. But then he felt Dean entwining their fingers and something told him that this was how it should be.
This was the right thing to do.
A few minutes later, Dean and Cas would pull away and walk back into their rooms. Dean would knock on Sam's door and be there for his younger brother, while Castiel would go back to the kitchen to make them something to eat. Preferably a pie.
And then Sam would find a case and they would all go on a family hunting trip, trying to forget about Mary leaving and instead trying to focus on their job. They would then return to the bunker and repeat everything until eventually, Dean would collapse in his room and Cas would be there, waiting for him.
But until then, their fingers were still touching and they were still standing there, slowly breathing together and keeping their eyes closed.
Until then, they were there for each other. And that was the right thing to do.
I hope you liked it and sorry for any mistakes or typos, I didn't have much time to proofread it bc *sighs* housework.
