Disclaimer: I owned DBZ once, but I sold it for two Skittles and a Mars Bar. They were delicious.
Brenman: Now apparently people don't like the fact that Bardock won't be Goku's father, but I don't actually believe that, It was just a challenge from a friend of mine to write a fic. like this. So if you don't like it, just pretend it's a bad dream, but read my fic. anyways.
Chapter 2: Meat, Meat, and Seatbelts
Bulma was sitting in the kitchen going over some reports she had to review and sign for a new capsule her company was working on. This new capsule could store nearly twice the volume as older model capsules, it also doubled as an MP3 player, but that was a marketing gimmick. The clock on the wall that Bulma had built specifically for herself and Chi Chi screeched out, "IT'S ELEVEN-THIRTY, YOU BETTER START MAKING LUNCH BEFORE THOSE SAIYANS GET HUNGRY." Bulma jumped at the harsh sound, but got up to start on the next meal. She may hate how loud that clock was sometimes, but it was a life saver. She turned around to see a laughing Trunks and Goten run through the kitchen on the way towards the training facilities. Then she watched as her young daughter ran after them as fast as her two year old legs could carry her, which Bulma noted was pretty damn fast. Bulma smiled as Bra sped past her giggling all the way trying to catch 'Tunks' and 'ten'.
As Bulma was pulling out some food to cook for lunch Goku and Vegeta came into the kitchen along with the sounds of bra's giggling again. Bulma looked curiously over the island in the center of the kitchen to see the 'small blue haired snot nosed brat' wrapped around Vegetas' left leg. Bulma smiled as Vegeta bent down to pick up his little princess and noticed for the first time that both men were covered in a multitude of small cuts and bruises. This was expected and completely normal, Bulma already had her first aid kit sitting on the table waiting for them. Bulma opened up her first aid kit to tend to the injured warriors while Vegeta handed Bra to Trunks as he and Goten came to find out why Bra wasn't interested in chasing them any more.
"Come on Goten," Trunks said suddenly while he sat his sister awkwardly on his shoulder "Maybe we can teach Bra how to play video games." Lost in their futile fantasy about trying to raise a more manly female, the boys ran off to play on one of the four gaming consoles Trunks had. The boys had tried this more then once before, it always ended up the same, the two demi-saiyans would get distracted by playing the game themselves and forget about Bra until she started breaking stuff in Trunks' room.
"No violent games!" Bulma yelled up the stairs towards the retreating forms of her two children and the young Son boy. Vegeta and Goku, with their sensitive saiyan ears, winced at the the loud noise. "Woman, do you have to be so loud?"
"Be quiet Vegeta and let me finish patching you two up." Bulma stated as she cleaned a nasty looking cut on Vegetas' Shoulder. While Vegeta wasn't looking, Bulma swiped a couple of bloody rags to do some research on saiyan DNA. Bulma had always wanted to study the saiyans, but for some reason Vegeta had always disapproved of the idea. Bulma decided that she would do it anyway. 'What Vegeta doesn't know won't hurt him, right?' she thought, being very careful to keep her bond with Vegeta closed. Bulma made sure she took samples from both the saiyans. Bulma wasn't sure why it had taken her this long to finally get around to doing this, she had many opportunities to steal blood samples from these two. The two warriors were almost always in a mild state of injury, not that any injuries stayed long, but they managed to acquire new ones along the way. 'I guess I'm doing this now because I'm bored,' She thought to her self, grinning. 'and everyone knows that there is nothing more dangerous then a bored scientist.' (A/N: Except a bored Kender. But that's beside the point. Also I don't own Kender.)
When she had finished patching up her husband and best friend, Bulma continued with making lunch for two full saiyans, three half saiyans, and a human. Cooking this much food took far to much effort and time an far as Bulma was concerned. That's the main reason why Bulma used robots to help her cook the meal, the second reason is that besides barbecuing food, Bulma couldn't cook very well. Bulma just could never figure out how Chi Chi cooked so mush food, and cooked it well, without any help.
Vegeta and his third class idiot were sitting in the living room trying to find something to watch on T.V. Goku had beaten Vegeta to the remote control and was flipping through the channels at breakneck speeds, or was that break remote speeds. Vegeta winced as he heard a loud crack come from the seat next to him. He looked over to see a sheepish looking Goku looking at the two halves of the remote in his hands. Goku looked up at Vegeta, "Oopsie Daisy. Sorry Veggie. Are you mad?"
"You are such an Idiot." Vegeta growled at him and decided that answering Gokus' question was a serious waste of his royal time.
Goku looked past Vegeta curiously as the older saiyan reached down and pulled a fully packaged universal remote out from under the couch, and began to open it up. The remote was packaged in a blister pack, which normally is next to indestructible without a pair of scissors, but offered no problem to Vegeta once he transformed into a super saiyan. Goku looked at the remote in Vegetas' hand and stared up at Vegeta with a look that Vegeta translated to mean, 'You keep extra remotes under the couch?'. "We keep extras because this happens fairly often." Vegeta explained.
"Actually Vegeta, that look meant, Are you hungry again?" Goku asked, when Goku misinterpreted Vegetas' glare as, 'Do you dare correct me?', he continued by saying, "But, that would have been my second question."
"Well, no Kakarott, my look meant, How can you be hungry already?" Vegeta said, "We ate ten minutes ago, I have never seen anyone eat as much as you, not even a saiyan."
"Oh," Goku replied sullenly, then he suddenly cheered up for no reason what so ever, but face it, Goku never needs a reason. "Really? You think I eat too much?"
Vegeta ignored the question and began inserting the batteries into the remote as Bulma came into the living room and gave a piece of paper to Goku after seeing that Vegetas' hands were full. "Who broke the remote this time?" Bulma asked with an amused tone to her voice.
"Kakarott did." Vegeta stated as a matter of fact, looking up from the remote as he clicked the battery cover into place. "What do you want?"
"Goku has stayed here for our last five meals, therefore I need you two to go to the grocery store and get everything on that list." Bulma said, Vegeta looked like he was about to refuse, but Bulma continued. "If you don't, I guess you won't be getting any supper. Besides, I have a meeting to go to. My mother is going to look after the kids, have fun."
Bulma left the room smiling evilly as she walked towards her lab and the 'meeting' with a couple of bloody rags. Vegeta watched her leave while grumbling to himself, he snatched the list away from Goku and got up to get ready.
"Kakarott why don't you go get changed, I'll meet you down here in twenty minutes." Vegeta stated and then proceeded upstairs to have a shower and get some suitable clothes on. Turning around at the bottom of the stairs he added, "And Kakarott, try wearing civilian clothes."
"Okay, Veggie" Goku chimed in following Vegeta upstairs to the Son wing of Capsule Corp. on the second floor. The only answer he got was a guided ki blast hitting him square in the face.
Exactly twenty-three minutes and forty-one seconds later Vegeta positioned himself in the drivers seat of his expensive Capsule Corp. convertible, while Goku clambered into the passenger seat. "Wow Vegeta, this is a really nice car?" Vegeta smirked. There was something to be said about being part of the richest family on the planet. Vegeta never would have driven a car if he would have had to drive a 'Second rate peasant-mobile', as he put them. "Okay Vegeta, I can do this, my driving instructor told me how to operate these, but it was such a long time ago"
Vegeta looked at his passenger, as usual he was worried about the mental stability of the pea brained moron, "It's a seat belt Kakarott, not a spaceship, it shouldn't be that difficult to figure out." Vegeta said as he pointed at where the tab was supposed to go. The prince fired up the engine and sped off at about two point seven times the speed limit towards the local Super Club (A/N: I don't own Super Club either.)
Five minutes later the shiny blue sports car pulled into the industrial sized parking lot and Vegeta thread his way through the rows of cars looking for a spot (A/N: I know everyone would just capsulize their vehicles, but it's more interesting this way.). If push came to shove, Vegeta could always blast open a spot. Goku, trying to be as helpful as possible, pointed out three spots that he told Vegeta to park in.
Vegeta looked at the spots Goku was pointing at and couldn't help but let out a very audible sigh. "Those two spots are handicapped spots," Vegeta said in an annoyed voice, then added as a second thought, "but unfortunately for you that doesn't include mentally Handicapped. You know Kakarott, they call fish brain food, but it hasn't been working for you. Has it?"
"That's not very nice Vegeta." Goku whined. "What about the other spot?"
"The other spot," Vegeta explained, while trying to comprehend the fact that Kakarott had somehow picked up on the insult, "Is an empty cart return area. Idiot." Vegeta said the last word under his breath. Vegeta finally managed to find a spot at the far end of the parking lot. He turned off the engine and stepped out of the car. After waiting for twenty seconds Vegeta got back in the car and explained to Goku how to undo the demon seat belt from HFIL, as Goku decided he was going to name it.
"So Vegeta, What's on that list?" Goku asked as the two walked the one and a half kilos back to the store. Vegeta took the list out the pocket of his jeans, and began to read the contents to Goku.
Grocery List
-10 Kilograms of Sandwich Meat
-32 Litres of Milk (A/N: I don't own Milk, But I 'Got Milk')
-120 Large Eggs
-5 Loaves of each Rye and Whole Wheat bread
-6 Litres of OJ
-4 Whole Turkeys
-3 Dozen Hot-dog Buns
-3 Dozen Hot dogs
The saiyan diet; Meat, Milk, Meat substitute, Bread, Juice, Meat, Meat encasements, and Meat.
"Vegeta, isn't OJ some accused criminal guy, I think I saw him on T.V." Goku asked, looking confused. "He was driving even slower then Piccolo."
Vegeta looked at Goku suspiciously. 'he has to be putting on an act, there's no way he can be this stupid.' He thought to himself be fore answering the question. "Your thinking of O. J. Simpson, the woman was referring to Orange Juice.
"Vegeta, I've been meaning to ask you, if you hate me as much as you keep saying. Why are you so concerned that I'm not as intelligent as you?" Goku observed.
Vegeta looked startled at the question, "Um..." He started, and then after thinking for a second snapped, "It's because it's annoying, that's why." Vegeta quickened his pace and they soon arrived at the entrance to the store.
'Is it just me, or did Kakarott say something intelligent,' Vegeta mused as he walked through the large doors, 'naw, I probably imagined it.'. After they entered the store Vegeta grabbed a shopping cart from the cart drop off. and continued into the main part of the store. Goku also grabbed a cart for himself. Vegeta noted that this probably wasn't going to end well, perhaps it would end like last time.
-- Flash Back --
Goku and Vegeta were running down one of the aisles at full tilt. They each had a cart full of food, Gokus cart was for some odd reason almost entirely full of liquid like food in glass jars, breakable glass jars. Vegeta managed to stop before the wall at the end of the aisle, but Goku slipped in a pile of vomit, knocked over the employee that had been moping it up, and got his cart lodged in the foot thick concrete wall. Needless to say it took the store a long time to clean up the 100+ litres of tomato sauce, pickles, and vinegar on the floor. There was of course also some baby food in there, but Vegeta had yet to figure out why Goku had that in the first place.
-- End Flash back --
Goku and Vegeta began heading to the deli on the other side of the store for their first stop. The two competitive warriors started out slowly but began to quicken their pace trying to get to the deli before the other. Goku and Vegeta went running across the store almost hitting dozens of people on their way to their precious meat. "Reckless young hooligans!" One old lady yelled at the two men, waving her cane at them in a threatening manner.
The saiyans were running across the store at inhuman speeds and reached the deli in a matter of five point three seven seconds. Mimicking the last time the two had been at the store. Vegeta managed to stop in time, but Goku tripped on a 'Caution Wet Floor' Sign and went sailing clean over the deli counter into a small mountain of bologna.
As he watched his rival go flying spectacularly over a terrified deli worker, Vegeta doubled over laughing harder then he had in weeks. While he was bending over he managed to lose his balance and slipped on the puddle of water that the previously mentioned sign had been warning the customers about. Vegeta immediately stopped laughing and jumped up with a spreading wet patch on his right side. Goku climbed back over the Deli counter and proceeded over to where Vegeta was standing trying to decide what sandwich meat to pick out. Goku looked around at all the humans staring at the pair of competitive saiyans. Staring over at Vegeta, Goku couldn't help but chuckle.
"What's so funny that even your miniscule brain can find it humorous?" Vegeta asked, staring at the taller saiyan with a look that clearly said, 'If you embarrass me here, I will personally fill your bedroom with hypodermic needles.'
"Vegeta, why're you all wet?" Goku asked, clueless to the terrifying silent threat that Vegeta was issuing.
"It's none of your business you moron." Vegeta shot back. "Besides, you're back is covered in sliced meat."
Goku, being Goku, ignored the insult Vegeta threw at him and responded with a happy, "Okay, Veggie." and them put his hand behind his head and laughed. Then Goku stopped laughing at the look on his companions face.
"Kakarott, Don't. Call. Me. Veggie." Vegeta raised his voice after every word, until he got to the last word. His voice dropped back to normal, Vegeta didn't want to broadcast the embarrassing name across the crowded store. "Now, why don't you go and grab a tab off that wheel over there, and tell me when they call our number."
"Sure thing." Goku chirped, happy that he was needed.
Vegeta looked around the store, trying to see where he was going to go from here. he spotted a freezer a short distance away full of large turkeys. That was his next target, now he just had to plan his route. The store was so packed, perhaps he should just shove everyone out of the way.
Turning back to the deli counter, Vegeta could only stare speechless as he saw what appeared to be the entire roll of numbers unrolled on the floor, almost completely covering a very tangled up Goku. The only part of the saiyan that Vegeta could see was his hair, there was no mistaking that hair cut. Naturally, even if his hair hadn't been showing, Vegeta still would have known who had done it.
-- Capsule Corp. --
The yellow, glass domed machine popped into existence a couple hundred feet above the huge yellow upturned mixing bowl called a building. The machine was piloted expertly to the ground and the glass dome was raised with a hiss from the two hydraulic arms. The pilot jumped from the machine and stared around the large grounds happily, eager to go see his old friends. The young mans' lavender hair was blowing in the breeze as he took in his surroundings.
"I'm Back" was all he said.
Behind him two more people climbed out of the cramped cockpit. The first was a tall black haired man wearing an orange fighting gi, followed by an older woman with bright blue hair and eyes to match. The two other people stood looking at the familiar site of the capsule corp. building while at the same time trying to steady themselves on their wobbly legs. Neither of them were used to the effects of time travel.
Brenman: I hope your enjoying this story so far, not that much has happened, but It's starting. Review, or else.