I haven't written a supernatural coda in such a long time that I don't even know if this is good or bad, but last episode made me feel things and I needed to write this, even though it doesn't really makes things better.

Short summary: Two POVs. What happens shorty after Dean wakes up, and what happens after Cas and Kelly leave, and how the music connects it all. (So basically Dean is hurting and Cas can feel it.)

SPN 12X19 THE FUTURE - CODA
Heartbreaker

"Don't-" Dean manages to say before Castiel's fingers touch his forehead and he goes down to the ground, unconscious, sleeping. Castiel looks down at his best friend, at his peaceful face, and then he looks at Sam. They're both just lying there, not knowing where Cas is about to go now.

But no one can know that. He's on his own now. It's only him and Kelly and the baby that Cas needs to take care of once his mother dies. The world will be a better place once the baby is born. It must be. He saw it in the vision of the future – he saw people, angels and demons, all happy and not making trouble, no wars. He saw himself together with Sam and Dean in the bunker, living like a family, with Mary visiting them. He felt warm and beautiful and by the time the vision ended he was so full of faith that even considering that what he was doing might not be right, was out of the question.

"I'm sorry." He says as he's looking down at his family. He's doing this for them after all. For the better world.

Kelly looks up at him and joins him as he starts walking back towards his truck, leaving Dean's impala there for the Winchesters.

He sits behind the wheel and with one last look at the limp bodies of his friends on the playground, he turns the key in the ignition and drives away.

xoXÖXox

"Don't-" Dean manages to say with a pleading look in his eyes, but it's too late. Castiel's fingers touch his forehead and the world disappears in black nothingness, his body hitting the ground. And there is nothing he can do about it.

That's the last memory Dean has before he blacks out. And he keeps replaying that in his head over and over again until he eventually wakes up and is greeted by a cold wind in his face and silence. The feeling he has right after he wakes up is familiar, but it also feels like ancient history. He didn't think Cas would ever do this to him again.

He doesn't stand up, he doesn't even move. He just lies there, looking up at the sky and wondering if the angels can see him now. If they pity him for falling in love with an angel who just doesn't feel the same. Because if he does, he has a pretty painful way of showing it. He feels the hot tears in his eyes and he blinks, letting them wet his cheeks.

But he can't lie there forever. He sits up and rubs his eyes, feeling even worse when he sees that Cas' truck is gone. Of course it's gone. Of course he bailed on them again, and of course he left Dean here alone, only with Sam. Of course he'd do that to him. Everyone he loves always leaves him, so why should this be any different?

Dean closes his eyes again and takes a deep breath. He has a broken heart, and this time it hurts so much more than all the other times during his teenage years. He didn't think he could find true love then. He'd never used to believe in these sorts of things. Right until that moment he met Castiel and started believing in love at first sight.

With a groan, he stands up and walks over to Sam, slowly getting down on his knees and gently touching his shoulder.

"Hey, Sam." He says, shaking him until Sam eventually blinks and sits up, almost knocking Dean over. "Dude."

"Sorry." Sam apologizes and looks around, disoriented. Then he sees their car and no truck, and he notices the tears on Dean's cheeks. "He's... he's gone, isn't he?" He asks gently.

Dean doesn't like his tone. He doesn't need anyone to be gentle with him, he can deal with it. It's a story of his life after all, when someone he cares about leaves him. So he stands up and rolls his eyes, heading to his Baby.

"Of course he is." He tells Sam. "We should've kicked his feathered ass." He adds under his breath, not really meaning it, but wanting to mean it.

He opens the door and gets inside, squeezing the steering wheel, maybe a bit too tightly. And he knows that when Sam gets inside that he notices, but Dean doesn't really care and Sam doesn't say anything about it or about the tears.

Until they're already driving back to the bunker, and he does. "We'll find him." He tells him. "And we'll figure out what happened to him. He wasn't himself, I know you could tell. It looked like the baby controlled him somehow. He's more powerful than we thought." He pauses for a and then looks at Dean and Dean hates it. "But Cas will be alright. He always is."

Dean's silent for a while. Then he opens the glove compartment and grabs the first tape he finds, putting it into the tape deck in front of him. "Yeah." He finally answers, and then he lets the music play.

It's Led Zeppelin.

Of course it's Led Zeppelin. The same band that Dean chose to give Cas on a mix tape, knowing the angel wouldn't truly understand what it meant to give someone a gift like that. And instead of calming Dean down, he couldn't feel worse.

The tears in his eyes burn and he can't see the road in front of him. It gets to the point where he has to stop the car and close his eyes because the music is still playing and it's breaking his heart with every damn note. What did he do wrong? The last time they saw Cas, he told them he loved them. That they were his family. And then he just plays them, steals from them, ignores their messages and concerns and then runs away again? Just like that?

"Dean?" He hears Sam's worried voice, and it's too worried, too soft. He can't bear it. He shouldn't be losing it like this, he should be strong and just roll with it. He's a Winchester, dammit. But that's the point – he can't just roll with it. He can't. Not anymore.

It's too much, and too long, and he misses that damn angel so much that it hurts him and the fact that he betrayed them like that hurts him even more.

Dean is silent and he covers his face in his palms, taking deep breaths and just trying to not let this go any further. But then there's a hand on his shoulder and a sob escapes him and he's putting his hands down and turning to Sam with desperation in his eyes, swallowing and pleading, "Just... shut up and drive."

He gets out of the car and waits until Sam does the same. In the next moment, he's sitting next to his little brother, who grabs the steering wheel and starts driving them home. Dean picks something else to listen to – Metallica – and then he closes his eyes and lays his head against the window, not being able to think about anything else than Cas betraying them and putting his fingers to his forehead, over and over again.

xoXÖXox

"Where are you taking me?" Kelly asks Cas after a while, looking at him.

"I don't know." Cas answers. Kelly has a feeling that Castiel likes that answer way too much. "As far away from the Heaven Gate as possible. Then we'll decide what to do next."

"Alright." She nods and keeps looking out of the window, at the darkened trees.

The unbearable silence almost overwhelms Castiel. Despite his faith in a good future, he needs a distraction from what's happening because even though he's doing it mostly for Sam and Dean, he still left them lying there like rag dolls.

He reaches to the inside pocket of his trench coat, the one that is positioned right where his heart is, and he takes out the mix tape that Dean had made him.

It's a gift. You keep those.

Castiel recalls their earlier conversation and he puts the mix tape into the tape deck, happy that he has something of Deans to listen to. He knows Dean loves his music, and he can't wait to hear which songs Dean picked for Castiel.

As soon as the music starts playing though, Cas feels much worse than before. And after a while, he realizes it's not because of the song. He can feel Dean's longing. Dean is awake now and Cas can feel his longing, he can feel it so clearly. It's powerful and heartbreaking and Cas can't bear it.

But he has his mission. And Kelly counts on him. And the baby must be born.

So he grits his teeth and plays the music louder, letting the tears escape his eyes and roll down his cheeks. There's nothing better he can do anyway.

Sorry for any grammar mistakes. I hope you liked it at least a bit :)