Chapter Twelve

Never Again

DAVINA

"How could you!?"

I apologize.

"You can't just do things like that and expect me to be okay with it!"

I miss him.

I paced my bedroom like a crazy person, half enraged, half traumatized, completely losing my mind.

"Don't ever do that again!"

My emotions were all over the place. The worst part was that these feelings weren't even entirely mine, yet I was forced to feel everything she felt, everything she craved.

Elijah hadn't followed me and I was thankful that he didn't. What happened between us… I was mortified.

As I stormed into the bathroom, I turned on the tap and splashed some water on my face. I felt unbearably feverish. I couldn't tell if it was a symptom of my rage or because of…

No. I had to put it out of my mind. I had to pretend as if it never happened. Never mind the fact that I still tasted him; how my lips still tingled with sensation…

"Never should've happened," I muttered to myself, splashing more water on my face.

What sort of game are you playing at, Tatia? We had an agreement!

All those painful memories… I'd safely locked them away to protect her—to protect my mind from her insanity. I didn't know that by doing that it would reignite her undying love for the oldest Original alive. She'd forgotten the monster. She couldn't remember him. But I did.

Please let me speak to him, Tatia pleaded.

Not after what you made me do tonight!

You felt it too, Davina.

Felt what?

I merely amplified that desire and made it stronger.

What desire?

You cannot deny it. I can see it. You could have easily told Elijah that it was me, but you didn't, because it wasn't me. I took advantage of your secret desire, and for that I apologize. I just wanted to be closer to him. I desperately miss him.

It was still bizarre to hear the voice of a 10th century dead person in my head all the time. I wondered if I'd ever get used to it. Then again, I didn't wantto get used to it. I had to believe that Freya would help me. I'd got myself into this nightmare, but I had to have faith that it would end.

I looked at my reflection in the mirror and squeezed my eyes shut.

Promise me you won't ever do this again, Tatia. That was unfair. I may be the one steering the wheel but I can't have you opening doors in my mind that are closed off to you. Do you understand?

I understand.

I sighed in relief, thankful for a moment of silence.

But it didn't last.

You fancy him.

"I do not!"

I shouldn't have yelled. She was more than capable of hearing through telepathy.

It's all right. I'm not upset by it. Perhaps only a little… envious.

Enough! I don't find him attractive! He's not my type! He's a vampire!

So is Niklaus, yet you still hold him close to your heart.

I didn't like her poking and prodding my mind for secrets. It wasn't fair.

I'm tired, Tatia. Leave it alone for tonight, please. I need sleep.

Will you please let me see him tomorrow?

I don't think I have any other choice.

Knowing Elijah, he would've made sure we had some sort of conversation after everything that happened tonight, no matter how awkward it was going to be.

I wish you a sweet slumber, said Tatia, fading away to wherever she went while I slept.

My mind was divided. Somehow, I'd managed to protect her from all her nightmares. Even when I consciously recalled her memories, she remained bullet proof. The painful recollections never touched her soul; they just tainted mine.

~oOo~

I couldn't bring myself to enter the library the next day. It had become routine to just hide away in there for hours after Kora made me breakfast, but I couldn't even go near it. Last night's images were still too fresh in my head.

"Master Mikaelson won't be home until late this evening," Viktor informed. "You are more than welcome to explore the mansion, so long as you avoid the west wing."

"What's in the west wing?" I asked, genuinely curious.

"The Master's quarters."

Ah. Well, I didn't want to go anywhere near there.

"Where did Elijah go?"

"I am not privy to disclose that information."

Sigh.

"Thanks anyway, Viktor."

He bowed his head. "Miss Claire."

Now that I was alone, I decided that there really was nothing else to do besides exploring this ginormous place—strictly out of boredom.

As I passed through regal corridors and spacious parlors, the baroque design of the rooms and furniture reminded me of the renaissance era. The ceilings were tremendously high and the woodwork was just beautiful: marble floors, floor-to-ceiling windows, sculptures and paintings… everything was out of this world. I felt like I was in a museum.

I wasn't sure exactly where this mansion was located, but Elijah had said that we were four hours away from the city. Apparently, it was safer for me not to know where.

After everything I'd seen, I couldn't help but wonder how he had transformed into such a monster. I wish Tatia had the answers. If she'd never shared her memories with me, I never would've believed that Elijah was capable of such vicious violence.

Did he still have sadistic tendencies? Was there another torture dungeon somewhere in the Mikaelson manor? In here, perhaps? So many questions: all of which I had to resolve on my own.

I still felt bad for pretending that there was a genuine threat, when I was the one responsible for this mess. I just couldn't tell them the truth. If Freya wouldn't be able to help me, then I needed to get my hands on Juliette's grimoires. Staying in this massive mansion and waiting only prolonged my day-to-day torture. As much as I'd grown to sympathize with Tatia, I didn't want her living in my head anymore.